Author's Notes: Thanks to my awesome beta;) And thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing.
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The Last Embrace
Kristen Elizabeth
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August 2006
"It's only for three days. You'll barely have time to miss me."
Lying on her stomach on his bed, watching him pack, Sara felt like a teenager. The pout she couldn't quite keep off her face didn't help matters. She wanted to act her age, be mature, accept the situation with grace and dignity.
But her inner child was screaming at the top of its lungs. My boyfriend is going away again and he won't take me with him!
"What's this seminar on?" she managed to ask, almost completely casually. "I'd have thought you'd have run out of topics by now, considering this is the fifth lecture you've given there. In the past three months."
He either didn't catch the bitterness in her words, or chose to ignore it. "The carpet beetle and its role in the decomp process." Grissom paused. "Sara, where's my grey tie?"
"I don't know," she lied. The last place he would ever think to look would be in the drawer she'd appropriated when she'd started spending more nights at his place than at hers. "I hope they realize how lucky they are to get you there so much."
He replied from inside his closet, as he searched fruitlessly through his ties for a second time. "I'm happy to help them out. There aren't many universities that offer a degree in forensic entomology. When I was in school, I couldn't even get a degree in basic entomology. Just general bio with a special interest in bugs." He came out of the closet with a frustrated frown. "I wonder if it got mixed into the dry cleaning."
Sara slid off the bed and came up behind him. "You know, I've never been to New Orleans." She slipped her arms around his waist, hugging his comfortable middle. "They can't hold you hostage in a lecture room for all three days. We could see some of the city. The French Quarter survived the hurricane, so…"
He turned around and kissed her forehead. "As tempting as that is, don't you think it would look a little suspicious if we both disappeared at the same time?"
She stood still for a long moment after he moved away to continue packing. When she finally looked at him again, it was through a film of hot tears.
Crying made her feel even less her age, but she couldn't make the feelings that fueled the tears go away. He had no idea how badly his thoughts came out sometimes. If he did, she knew he'd do everything in his power to make it up. But he was just Grissom, and if she didn't tell him what was bothering her, he might never know.
"So…how much longer are we planning on keeping all of this a secret?"
He glanced over at her. "Sara?"
"It's been a year, Gris. Over a year." Sara looked up at the ceiling and blinked away the evidence. "Discretion's important, but…" She inhaled slowly, collecting herself. "I know. This is what we agreed had to happen if we were going to be together. I just…it's hard..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"I would take you with me if I could, Sara." Grissom looked down into his suitcase for a second. "And please don't think that I wouldn't like to walk into work tonight and tell anyone who would listen that I've spent the last fifteen months with you. I can't. For so many reasons." Biting her lip, she nodded. He approached her, cupping her face in his hands. "I don't know how you put up with me, honey. But I'm very lucky that you do."
"It's easy," she replied softly. The words she'd wanted to say for so long tumbled out. "I love you."
His Adam's apple bobbed; it was much more visible now that he'd shaved off his beard. She was still adjusting to the change.
"I think I'll take the blue tie instead," Grissom said suddenly. "Can you grab it for me?"
When his back was turned, Sara retrieved the grey tie from her drawer and placed it in his suitcase.
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Laura reached into her granddaughter's stroller and zipped up her little jacket. The LVPD crime lab was cold place, and Cassie was just getting over a few days of the sniffles.
"Mama?" Cassie asked.
"Yes, we're going to see mama," Laura told her. Straightening back up, she addressed the curly-haired receptionist who had just gotten off the phone. "Can you tell me where I can find Sara Sidle?"
The girl leaned over the counter. "Oh my goodness…is that Cassie? She's so big! Hello sweetheart!" Cassie accepted the attention with a grin that displayed her baby teeth. Laura smiled proudly. Still looking down into the stroller, the girl said, "I can page her, ma'am."
"Oh, that's not necessary. We can go to her."
The receptionist, whose name tag read 'Judy,' looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, but we can't allow visitors to walk around unaccompanied. If you'll have a seat, she'll be out in just a few minutes."
Laura didn't have much choice. Judy was already on the com system. "CSI Sidle, you have a visitor at the front desk."
True to the receptionist's word, it wasn't long before Sara appeared around the corner. She had a blue lab coat over the clothes she'd worn into work almost eighteen hours earlier. Her hair was pulled back in a messy knot, and she had a pencil stuck behind her ear. Although there were dark circles under her eyes, she smiled upon seeing her daughter.
Before she acknowledged her mother, Sara reached into the stroller and lifted Cassie into her arms. She said nothing for several long seconds. She just held onto her child.
"Mama," Cassie protested, wriggling in Sara's arms. "Go."
"Thanks for bringing her." Her daughter's voice was throaty with exhaustion.
"You sounded awful on the phone, Sara." Laura wanted to reach out, but she kept both hands on the stroller's handles. "Is something wrong?"
"Tough case," Sara whispered into Cassie's curls. After another second, she relaxed her grip on the little girl. But she wasn't quite ready to put her down yet. "I can't really talk about it."
Frankly, that was alright with Laura. She knew just enough about her daughter's profession to know that she never wanted details. "Well. I brought you some food. Can you spare a minute to eat?"
She looked like she wanted to refuse, but something must have changed her mind. "Yeah, I should."
In the break room, Sara dutifully downed her vegetable pita sandwich. Cassie sat on her lap, babbling into her toy cell phone, making more noise than actual words. Laura looked around, familiarizing herself with the place where Sara spent so much of her time.
"I don't know," she mused out loud. "I'd feel like I was being constantly watched with all these glass walls."
"Keeps us on task," Sara said.
Laura shivered. "Does the freezing cold keep you on task, too?"
"That's for the equipment. The machines run hot."
They lapsed back into a quiet lull, which was only broken by Cassie's imaginary conversation.
"Dada," she said into her phone. "Dada go."
Sara set down her sandwich with careful precision. Out of nowhere, she changed the subject. "I'm going to put her back into day care next week."
Although she knew the time she would no longer be needed was coming, it still hurt to have it suddenly arrive. Laura blinked before nodding. "Of course. She needs to get back with the other children."
"I've asked to stay on graveyard. They're shorthanded now and…well, it's easier to sleep alone during the day."
Laura was confused. "If you're going to be working at night, who's going to be at the house with Cassie?"
"I was hoping…you." She rested her cheek on her little girl's head. "If you have to go, I'll understand, and I'll work something out. But…"
"Sweetie." This time, she wasn't able to keep from reaching out. But at the last second, she touched her granddaughter's cheek instead of her daughter's arm. "I'm not going anywhere."
A sad smile graced Sara's lips. She hugged her arms around her baby. "People always say that."
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To Be Continued