Chapter 10: New Beginnings

When her heavy eyelids finally fluttered open, she had groaned as an unfamiliar, white ceiling slowly came into focus above her. Her head had been spinning, and although she could not detect any signs of immediate physical injuries, she had felt oddly drained.

The white walls, the white ceiling, the white bed covers... she had felt certain that they did not belong to her quarters. So, where-

"Good morning, lieutenant. I see that you're finally awake."

The voice had sounded familiar, but in her disoriented state, it had startled her and she shot up. But she immediately regretted her sudden, jerky movement as a wave of nausea washed over her. What the hell had happened to her? And who was speaking?

As she slowly turned her head towards source of the sound, she was met by the blurred outline of a tall, black clad figure with long, white hair.

"You look very confused, which is understandable considering the circumstances. But you needn't worry, lieutenant Hinamori – you're in the 4th Division special ward."

"C-captain Ukitake?" She had desperately tried to focus on his blurry face as he carefully approached her in silence, finally settling down on a chair next to her bed.

She had looked at the Captain questioningly, but when he didn't speak, she turned her attention inwards to her own thoughts. What the hell was she doing in the 4th Division, and why was she in the special ward? That section was reserved for the recovery of ranked officers and particularly difficult cases. Did this mean that something serious had occurred? But she couldn't remember... And what was Captain Ukitake doing there? It was not customary for a Captain to make such social calls. After all, she wasn't a member of his family or even of his squad, so he was by no means obligated to see her...

As she tried to find a reasonable explanation of her sudden presence at the 4th Division, her thoughts were interrupted by flashes of hot, crimson light, the feeling of air and dust swirling around her, the loud clangs of clashing weapons, and distant screams saturated with pain. She had cast a quick look on the Captain next to her, but when he did not seem to see the bursts of red lights, feel the gusts of air, or hear the clangs and the screams, she concluded that the last drops of sanity finally must have left her.

"Do you remember what happened?" The Captain finally broke the silence, but his voice had contained none of its usual mildness.

"Happened? What do you mean, Captain?" Her voice had trembled despite of her best efforts to remain calm. She could not interpret the expression in his eyes, and the inquiring tone of his voice did little to expel her growing sense of dread.

"You have been sleeping for three days."

"Three days?" Fear had tightened its grip on her and its cold, scaly tentacles slid across her back, sending chills along her spine. It had been the second time that she woke up in the 4th Division special ward, disoriented and exhausted. It had also been the second time that she was greeted by the concerned features of a white-haired Captain shortly after awakening. Only, this time, it was different, since the Captain in question wasn't him...

Pain surged through her as she remembered his face at their first conversation after the coma. He had been on a mission to the living world, but the Head-Captain had granted her a few minutes after he had relayed his orders as usual. Shiro's eyes had revealed relief and pure happiness when he saw her, and he had brushed her stuttered and teary apology aside in his usual gruff and impatient manner. But the open bewilderment and the unmasked pain that briefly crossed his features when she asked him to save that bastard... It was more than she could bear. The expression in his luminous eyes still haunted her as she sat in silence, and she involuntarily gasped for air.

She had silently cursed herself for that display of weakness, and she prayed that Captain Ukitake hadn't noticed her sharp intake of air. But, of course, this hadn't passed the Captain by.

"Three days ago, acting Captain Matsumoto ordered you to accompany her to the 10th Division training grounds. Both of you released your zanpakutou."

His simple words cut through her with the merciless sharpness of midwinter ice, but she failed to fully understand what he was saying.

Had she really been at the 10th Division training grounds with Matsumoto? Had she really released Tobiume against a fellow shinigami in battle?

No. It simply couldn't be true. How could it be, when she hadn't left her quarters for weeks?

She had looked at Captain Ukitake suspiciously, but his face revealed no traces of lies or deceit.

So, it was true?

She clenched her palms so tightly that she had felt her nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms. But she had felt no pain, as she tried to collect her panicked thoughts.

So she had raised Tobiume against her own, against a Captain, against an innocent, against a friend... just like she had done that terrible night, prompted by nothing more than a flimsy piece of paper.

She had done it again.

It was a realization that still sickened her to the core of her being.

Suddenly, the crimson light in her mind shone brighter, its heat intensifying, and the clangs and howls in her ears grew louder. As in a dream, she saw two distant figures facing each other with unsheathed weapons, and she immediately knew who those figures were.

Then, she remembered – the crimson explosions originating from the tip of her own zanpakutou, the air thick with ash skilfully manipulated by Matsumoto, the furious clangs of Tobiume and Haineko as they clashed midair, her own pained screams, Matsumoto's tearstained face, the hug that confirmed beyond all doubts that one of her oldest friends would not abandon her, and the warm, all-enveloping darkness...

Matsumoto had forced her leave the safety of her quarters – she had forced her to confront his division, and to confront the suppressed pain that was gradually eating away at her bleeding heart and tattered soul. It had almost consumed her... and if it hadn't been for Matsumoto, she would have let it – she had been too tired to fight. She had believed that she was utterly alone in her grief, but Matsumoto had showed her that she'd been wrong, so very wrong...

"Do you remember now?" The white-haired Captain's voice had softened as it cut through the silence, and prompted her to lift her eyes to his face. But, to her surprise, his solemn expression had been replaced by a gentle smile, as if he had seen straight into her thoughts. "Then you understand why?"

"Yes."

It had barely been a whisper, but this time her voice had held firm despite that she felt as if she was going to break. She had done nothing to deserve Matsumoto's selfless kindness, especially not after her grotesque accusations. She winced at the memory of Matsumoto's eyes that were alight with rage and hurt when she had accused the acting Captain of betraying her friend and Captain...

"You released a large amount of spiritual energy, which placed a great strain on you. It's only natural for the mind and body to require a lengthy rest after such complete exhaustion. Although you sustained no serious physical injuries, you will most likely feel drained for about a week. However, Captain Unohana sees no reason to detain you here and you'll be free to go by the end of the day." The 13th Division Captain had lowered his voice conspiratorially after he dutifully delivered his fellow Captain's message to her patient. "I remember the aftermath of a particularly challenging training mission at the Academy that went slightly awry – I was out cold for a week... although, the incident was mostly Shunsui's fault to begin with. I believe that the incident between you and acting Captain Matsumoto to be equally trivial, and that there was no need to inform the Head-Captain or the other Squad Captains. Captain Unohana and acting Captain Matsumoto agreed with me."

"Yes, Captain. Thank you."

She had felt immensely grateful that the Captains hadn't reported her, despite of protocol. A lump formed in the back of her throat when she remembered Shiro's interception in her fight with Izuru shortly after the damned illusion of Aizen's bloodied body was discovered... At the time, she had been shocked by his seemingly callous behaviour, but later she understood that he had saved them both from further punishment... Releasing one's zanpakutou in Seireitei in such an irresponsible manner, and in particularly against one's own, was a serious offence. If the Head-Captain knew about this second incident, he would surely relieve her of her command...

Command?

She hadn't been anywhere near her division for weeks... What right did she have to still call herself lieutenant of the 5th Division? She had felt how the lump grew in the back of her throat, but it refused to disappear even when she swallowed repeatedly. She had never intended on doing so, but she had abandoned her division just like-

Don't be as stupid as you look, Bed-wetter.

The voice that interrupted her thoughts had not been hers. It had belonged to Shiro. His familiar, serious tone had commanded her to stop comparing herself to her former Captain when she knew that it wasn't true – she was nothing like him. She was nothing like Aizen.

She would not turn her back on her subordinates and friends, and she would never betray her squad.

She would never abandon them.

Shiro would never have forgiven her if she did. Nor would she ever forgive herself.

She remembered that she had once told her squad members that as the 5th Division of the Gotei 13, they were braver than yielding to despair and prouder than allowing the past to interfere with the present. That had been in the aftermath of Aizen's betrayal, when her division still was chaotic, lost, and leaderless. It felt like centuries had passed since she had told them that – so much had happened in the meantime...

It was time to follow her own advice and to be brave – she had just fervently hoped that she still possessed the strength. She had already been away from the 5th Division for too long, and more than anything, she wanted to make them and Shiro proud.

"How do you feel, lieutenant Hinamori?"

The sudden and unexpected question roused her from her thoughts, but she when she raised her bowed head, she had focused her eyes on the white wall behind the Captain's head. It was the second time someone had asked her that particular question; but this time, that hurt had felt distinctively different. It was as if she knew that, this time her spiritual pressure wouldn't overwhelm her and crush her from the inside; it had seemed as if the battle with Matsumoto had purged her of the excess spiritual energy she had been building up while shut away in her quarters. So despite of the painful burning sensation pulsating through her body, she had felt strangely calm – this time she had an answer to that damned question and she tore her eyes away from the comforting whiteness of the wall to finally meet the Captain's steady gaze.

"I will live," she had simply said.

To this day, she still could not explain why she had chosen those words, but for the first time since the Captains returned to Soul Society, she had felt as if life would eventually return to her if only a little by little. She did not know how she could hope to adjust to a life without him, but she would try.

"Good. Your division has been anxiously waiting for your return." The Captain Ukitake rewarded her with a small but warm smile. "The Gotei 13 wouldn't have expected any less from one of its lieutenants... and Captain Hitsugaya wouldn't have expected any less from one of his friends."

She had been touched by his genuine kindness, and she had hesitantly returned his smile with one of her own.

"However, there is also something else that you should know." The Captain leaned back in his chair, and looked at her intently. "In your absence, acting Captain Matsumoto finally achieved bankai."

"Bankai? But Haineko...?"

She had stared at him in disbelief – it was no secret that Matsumoto and her zanpakutou had been training for bankai for years, but Haineko was almost as lazy as its wielder. But...that meant that when they fought, Matsumoto had purposively refrained from using her bankai, which surely would have put a quick end to their battle. Instead, she had allowed her friend to pour her excess spiritual energy into attack after attack after attack...

"When acting Captain Matsumoto accepted her current position, she doubled her training with Haineko. But it is still very surprising how quickly she achieved it."

"I see... so she is to remain as 10th Division's...acting Captain?" she had mumbled, as if she had only addressed herself. It had been difficult to speak of an 'acting Captain'.

"Well, yes, at least until the Head-Captain finds a suitable replacement." The 13th Division Captain had looked thoughtful. "Although, I see very little reason of removing acting Captain Matsumoto from her position – especially considering her recent achievement. Besides, her squad needs her, and I believe that she needs them, too."

"..."

"Lieutenant Hinamori?"

"He... he wouldn't have wanted anyone else to lead his squad."

Her whisper had been barely audible, and she knew that her voice sounded mechanical, but her words had been sincere. As much as it pained her, it had been true – she knew that Shiro would never have wanted a stranger to command his beloved division, nor that Matsumoto would allow someone to take his place. His former lieutenant had made that perfectly clear.

But nonetheless... in her mind, there would only ever be one Captain of the 10th Division.

Stupid, stupid Shiro... he had hidden it so well behind his usual, characteristic grumpiness, but she knew him better than to be fooled by that facade. No, she knew just how proud he had been when he had stepped in through the 10th Division doors for the first time to be greeted by his squad as its new Captain...

Hitsugaya Toushirou – the shinigami prodigy, the boy genius, the powerful wielder of the ice dragon Hyourinmaru, the stern commander of the 10th Division of the Gotei 13, the youngest Captain in Seireitei's long and proud history, the hero of the arrancar war.

Shiro – the watermelon fiend, her childhood playmate, her fierce protector, her dearest friend, the one she would always love and miss the most.

He had worn so many masks, but only she had known, loved, and treasured all of them unquestionably and unconditionally.

"Acting Captain Matsumoto hardly left your side while you were sleeping," the white-haired man's voice had shattered her thoughts once again, but she had been thankful for the interruption. "But she was finally called back to her squad early this morning, when it was discovered that the 10th Division training grounds were in a dire need of extensive repairs. I can only imagine the mountain of paperwork concerning the mysterious cause of damage."

"Oh."Her conscience had guiltily reminded her of Matsumoto's decidedly hostile attitude towards paperwork.

"Well, I also need to return to my squad before Kiyone and Sentarou decide to come looking for me." Captain Ukitake stood up, and smoothed out his slightly wrinkled haori. "But I will leave you in the hands of your new, but capable 3rd Seat. Her name is Kobayashi."

"New 3rd Seat? Kobayashi?" The sudden news reminded her of just how long she had been away from her squad. She had wrinkled her forehead, desperately trying to remember someone with the name of Kobayashi, but her mind had been completely blank. She had wondered what could have happened to the old 3rd Seat. "Has something happened to Tanaka?"

"The former 3rd Seat, Tanaka Emon, is now 4th Seat of your division. But it is unsurprising that you don't recognize that name – young Kobayashi is a former 4th Seat of my own squad. It became apparent that 3rd Seat Tanaka was not yet prepared to lead the 5th Division single-handedly in your absence. But when the Head-Captain asked for my opinion in the matter, I recommended the temporary appointment of a Seat from another division as commanding officer of your squad until you returned. I strongly opposed the idea of appointing a new Captain – considering the additional strain that your division had been under at the time, it seemed premature." The warmth in Captain Ukitake's voice revealed his pride over his former seated officer. "However, even I must admit that I was quite surprised that a 4th Seat was chosen for the task, but she settled into her role quite well. She has led the 5th Division together with Tanaka in your absence, but both are anticipating your return. I doubt that Kobayashi will return to my squad, so I have already made the proper preparations to make the transfer permanent. But this is of course your decision."

"Thank you for your help, Captain. 5th Division and I are in your debt." She had been genuinely touched by his thoughtfulness – it was rare for a Captain to agree to sudden transfers of such highly-ranked officers. When considering the aftermath of a war, which had thinned also the ranks of the seated shinigami, Captain Ukitake had made a substantial sacrifice.

The Captain rewarded her with a quick smile and a nod before disappearing out of the room.

She had remained seated in the bed, quietly contemplating this last piece of news. A new 3rd Seat from the 13th Division, who had led the squad for weeks... How would this shinigami react to her return?

"Excuse me, lieutenant Hinamori?" The voice had come from a petite young woman standing hesitantly in the doorway. She was clad in ordinary black robes and her long, brown hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail. With the exception of the thin, silver necklace with a white, milky stone that hung around her neck, the woman looked quite ordinary by shinigami standards – pretty, but otherwise nondescript.

She only entered the room after Momo nodded her approval, clutching a dark green clipboard tightly to her chest. But once she had carefully sat herself down on the chair next to the bed, she smiled a broad, friendly smile.

"My name is Kobayashi Miyuki and I'm very glad to finally meet you."

Ta-da! And here I proudly introduce my own creations Kobayashi Miyuki and, to a lesser extent, Tanaka Emon, into the mix! Other original characters will be added to the story further down the line, but since this is my first attempt at creating my own characters, they'll only make up the 'supporting cast', so to speak, in order to flesh out the plot.

On another note: to you wonderful people who have left reviews and messages, I have tried to reply to all of you, but I'm not sure if you have received my messages. I have just clicked on the "reply message" button, which I hope has been working!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.