One quick note about a few comments I've been getting lately asking whether this story has been abandoned. I do not intend on abandoning this story at all. For those of you who have followed right from the start, you know the wait between chapters used to be closer to a month than a week as I worked on Kiss as my priority. I have gotten better with updating but I still can't promise any consistency. But, and what I hope is once and for all, I will not abandon this story unless circumstances change beyond my control.

This chapter just kept happening! When one of my OC's call for development, I just kind of can't resist them.

Jeff's section of this chapter will, once again, have mentions of self harm in it (not as many as last chapter), while Nick's will be discussing it a little as well. Please don't read if it will be an issue for you. I am once again more than happy to send summaries to those who might need them.

Disclaimer: I do not own the ideas in this story. I have never been to a 'straight camp' and am therefore not attempting to portray an exact replica of one. I do not own any characters you recognize.

Nick.

The tears streaming down his face was the first indication that Nick was awake. Sniffing quietly he opened his eyes, giving himself a moment to adjust as usual, then a second longer to try and work out why his bed felt different. It was only when he heard the sound of light breathing coming from beside him that Nick realized he wasn't in his own bed.

So where the hell am I?

Nick lifted his head, wiping the tears away and immediately took in the sight of the two boys on the bed next to him. Blaine was curled into a ball at the foot of the bed which Nick had now identified as Jeff's. And Jeff was right next to him, arms curled protectively into his chest as he slept. That gesture alone brought back all of the events of the previous day and reminded Nick of just why he was crying. He had been asleep, yes, but his mind had still been going over everything that had happened in the hours the boys had spent in the room. And now Nick had time to just stop and think about what had happened and, more to the point, about all of his own admissions.

Nick's first reaction was shame. After all the promises he had made to himself to stay on guard, not to admit anything, not to let down his walls… he had shared everything.

How am I going to face them when I wake up?

And then he glanced back down at Jeff, frowning. Jeff had just shifted in his sleep and one of his sleeves had slipped down slightly, revealing a few of the scars on his arm. Nick stared at them for a few seconds more before a different kind of shame overtook him. Jeff had no choice about the revealing of his secrets and, judging by his breakdown, it was clear how much it had cost him to have his past come out. Jeff had to take measures to hide the things he was ashamed of every single day - Nick could just not talk about his past and that was that. And Nick realized he really had nothing to complain about.

But more than that, he had no reason to be ashamed. After all, there was no way he was going to judge Jeff or treat him any differently after learning what he had. So why should he assume that the others would act any way otherwise? Blaine and Jeff had been nothing but supportive when Nick had told them the truth about his life, even when it came to the struggles with accepting his sexuality, something he was sure he would be judged for at a camp like this. And they had both just been so amazing about it all.

So now Nick had the biggest question to face: how was he going to act when the other boys woke up? His general attitude so far had been that if he didn't let the others in, they wouldn't be able to hurt him. But now they were in, there was no going back from that. Nick had opened that door and put everything about himself on display for judgement. He could close the door, yes, and go back to his previous attitude of freezing the boys out, but he couldn't make them forget what had happened, the things he had shared.

So, do you need to shut them out?

Nick was terrified, he would freely admit that. There were now two people who knew so much about him after he had spent years having nobody to confide in, nobody he felt like he could truly be himself around. The fact that he had opened up to Jeff and Blaine without a second thought had to count for something - Nick's judgement of character had always been sound in the past and he hoped with everything he had in him that this was no exception. Because there was no way he could just pretend the previous day hadn't happened and hadn't changed his life.

There's some people out there who care about me and like me for who I am, he thought to himself, still trying to get a grip on what the words actually meant for his life. I can be myself with no judgement.

But I don't even know who I am.

Nick sighed, letting his head fall back against the pillow. He knew he was gay, yes, but having been told his whole life that he shouldn't be meant that he still hadn't come to terms with it. More tot he point he hadn't come to terms with the fact that he was allowed to be and shouldn't be ashamed of himself and that was what caused the fear. All of his self-doubt and self-loathing had come from a stem of confusion, a seed planted in his brain that told him he wasn't okay. And as much as he told himself that it was, that there was nothing wrong with him, Nick still had those mental blocks that stopped him from connecting with himself, from really knowing who he was. After living two lives, trying to mesh them both into the one person he was supposed to be was confusing, painful and depressing and Nick didn't want this kind of life anymore.

He glanced at Blaine, smiling slightly. Blaine who was so confident in his sexuality, in who he was as a person - apart from his hair gel dependence which Nick knew he and Jeff would be breaking him out of very quickly now that they knew the reason - and knew who to be and how to act. Blaine knew because there was no reason for him to not be himself, there was almost no alternative. He could separate the Blaine who had to be what his father wanted and the Blaine who was the real Blaine, the one he showed to everybody else every single day. Blaine was just Blaine.

But Blaine also came from a similar situation to Nick. He had spent his childhood years being moulded into who he was supposed to be and told who he couldn't be too… but Blaine had somehow broken free from that and stayed true to himself, no matter the cost. So what did Blaine have that Nick didn't?

Courage.

Nick squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from coming again because it was so true. Blaine had courage in abundance and Nick didn't even have the courage to just be himself, the thing that should be so easy and natural. He put up masks every day and hid away from the world, too scared to try and just be who he was.

Well, it was time for that to change. Come the morning, Nicholas Duval was going to be Nicholas Duval. Not a mask, not an imitation, not who he was meant to be. Nick was going to be Nick and there wasn't a thing anybody could say to stop him. Not now, not ever.

And as Nick felt the weariness slip over him again, drawing him back to sleep, he couldn't help but smile at his final thought.

And I have friends to help me now.

Jeff.

Waking up the next morning was one of the strangest things Jeff had experienced. Apart from his eyes being puffy and sore and his throat scratchy from crying (not something that was uncommon), Jeff also had the fact that there were two other boys sleeping on his bed. Well, Blaine was half on the bed with his legs on the floor while Nick was sharing Jeff's pillow, one hand loosely resting on top of Jeff's.

And for some reason, Jeff couldn't look away.

Nick also showed signs of crying and Jeff lay still and allowed the events of the previous day to wash over him. He knew that word would have travelled around the campsite already and a lot of the boys would be judging him when they got up, but right now Jeff was just lost in the moment, in the fact that these two now knew almost everything there was to know about him and didn't judge him.

With a sigh, Jeff sat up and gently shook Blaine's shoulder. "Come on, Blaine, your neck must be killing you."

"It is," came the muffled reply, "but getting up isn't going to help that. Leave me to suffer in peace."

Jeff laughed quietly, still painfully aware of the sleeping Nick. "Get up and I'll give you a neck rub."

Blaine lifted his head quickly, wincing. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?" He turned around so his back was leaning against the bed. "Please tell me you're one of those people who have magic hands?" Jeff's response was to simply begin rubbing at Blaine's neck, eliciting a content sigh from the other boy. "Okay, I approve." There were a few minutes of silence before Blaine finally spoke again, his voice lazy. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good," Jeff said on autopilot before stopping. You can actually be honest now, you know? "I mean, I'm good enough. Worried about what's going to happen when I get out there though. Everybody knows, or at least they think they know but they don't really. They don't understand."

Blaine raised a hand, resting it on Jeff's lightly. "Whatever happens out there, we've got your back."

Jeff held onto Blaine's hand for a few moments before the sound of Nick stirring on the bed got his attention. He glanced over to see Nick blinking awake and freezing when he saw Jeff sitting on the end of his bed. Blaine began to say something but Jeff stopped him, knowing Nick needed a minute to remember what had happened the previous night. Please, don't shut us out, he mentally begged the boy. Don't do what you've done every other morning this camp.

Nick slowly pulled himself up so he was sitting up. "Morning guys," he said quietly.

Jeff couldn't stop the smile from crossing his face. "Good morning, Nick. How are you?"

"Better," Nick said, and Jeff could tell he was being honest. "Heaps better."

Blaine smiled up at him. "I'm glad," he said simply. "You going to go okay in counseling today, do you think?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. Counseling is counseling." He pulled himself off Jeff's bed and stretched his arms above his head. "I don't even remember falling asleep there," he commented as he moved across to his side of the room, digging out his clothes for the day.

"Neither," Blaine admitted before groaning as Jeff managed to get a kink out of his neck. "That's amazing, thank you. Your hands are wonderful."

"Do I need to tell Kurt about this?"

Jeff raised an eyebrow, glad Nick's back was to him because did Nick just make a joke? He glanced at Blaine who was smirking, clearly happy with the changes in their friend - at least Jeff hoped they could call Nick their friend now. And Jeff loved this new Nick as well, especially since he knew full well that this wasn't a different Nick but the Nick that he had been afraid to be for so long. "No," Blaine finally replied, standing up and heading towards his own bed. "I couldn't bear to break his heart. Sorry, Jeff, we'll have to keep our love affair secret."

Jeff mock-sighed. "I suppose I can handle that."

The three boys quickly got ready for the day, Jeff taking his usual amount of time on his hair. It was only when he was ready to go that he heard Nick's quiet gasp and turned to see what the problem was. "I - Blaine?"

Blaine raised a hand to his hair self consciously. "I'm going without the gel today. Why, does it look bad?"

"Are you kidding me?" Without waiting for an answer, Jeff slipped into the bathroom and returned with Blaine's gel. "Since I finally can, you are forbidden from this. I don't know how Kurt's lasted this long without taking it off you himself."

"He's tried five times. I just keep buying more."

Jeff began to laugh, the other boys quickly following suit. And maybe they laughed for a bit longer than they should have, but at least they could laugh. After everything that had been admitted last night, this was pretty much their way of saying hey, I don't judge you, you don't judge me, so we're cool.

The sound of the bell ringing out stopped their laughter. Jeff in particular tensed up instantly as he knew he had to go and face the rest of the campers, and Blaine's hand was in his. "It's going to be fine," Nick said reassuringly. "We're here."

Jeff nodded and they left the room, quickly making their way across to the dining hall. To Jeff's surprise, nobody even gave him a second look and they were already seated with breakfast before anybody came over to talk to them. And since the 'anybody' was Scott, Jeff knew there wasn't going to be a problem. "Gentlemen," he said, sliding into the seat across from them. "What's shaking?"

"Same old camp, same old disgusting food?" Blaine poked at the piece of toast in front of him that was already cold. "Where's James?"

Scott stole the piece of toast from Blaine and ripped a chunk off it. "They found him using his decoy phone when he got out last night so he's back in - keep that in mind, there'll be a phone confiscation at some point when they remember they forgot to do it in the first place. Anyway, he's beating my record though, this is the third day in a row. They let him out long enough to eat and then he was back in."

"That really sucks," Nick said, staring down at his plate and not noticing the surprised look that Scott sent to Blaine. "At least you guys are sticking it to them, maybe soon they'll realize that you can't be stopped." He offered a smile to Scott before standing, resting a hand on Jeff's shoulder for a second and making that familiar crackle of heat pass through them. It still caught Jeff off guard every time and he was yet to work out what was going on there, though he was wondering whether it was linked to the fact that Nick was kind of really good looking, especially now that he was smiling -

Yeah, that was a dangerous path to start wandering down and Jeff averted his thoughts quickly.

"Well, my turn to be deemed as crazy," Nick finished, letting go of Jeff's shoulder. "Have a good day, guys."

As Nick left, Scott raised an eyebrow at Jeff. "What got into him? He's… happy?"

"We all talked last night," Jeff said simply. "I presume you heard about group therapy yesterday?"

Scott's face darkened. "I did. I've been doing my best to set people straight without actually giving details. I can't believe he'd stoop so low, Jeff. They've done some pretty crap things in this place before but they've never revealed someone's past like that."

"It's alright. It was bound to come out eventually." Blaine's hand found his under the table and Jeff squeezed it gratefully. "Anyway, these guys were fantastic about it once they learned the truth and then we all opened up a bit and… well -"

"Nick knows he can trust us now," Blaine finished. "And I think that's going to spread on to you guys a bit as well."

Scott held his hand up for a high five and Jeff gave it laughingly. "Proud of you, dude. Didn't I tell you that they'd be cool with it and you didn't need to keep it from them?"

"Wait." Blaine raised an eyebrow, turning to Scott. "You knew?"

"Scott worked out something was going on with me in our first group therapy session," Jeff explained. "He kind of gave me no choice but to talk about it. I - it wasn't that I didn't trust you, Blaine, I just…" he paused. "Well, no, I didn't trust anybody. Not really."

Blaine squeezed his hand again. "I understand," he said reassuringly. "Don't sweat it. And on that topic, there was someone you wanted to talk to about it, I believe."

It took Jeff a few seconds but he was nodding eagerly. "I'd love to if I could."

"Scott, can you arrange for Jeff to go into Isolation for a little while?" Scott nodded, already seeking out Alana to send her a silent message. "Come on, I'll grab my phone." Jeff followed Blaine back to their room where he dug his phone out from under his mattress and led Jeff straight back out, over to the Isolation room that James wasn't currently occupying. "It's a little creepy at first but nobody will bug you in here."

"How do I get out?" Jeff examined the door that clearly only opened from the outside. "They're going to know something's up if the door's cracked open."

"Oh, true. Alana got me when I was done last time." Blaine handed his phone to Jeff. "Punch in your number. I'll just be hanging in the room since we have the morning off, buzz your phone when you're ready to come out and I'll get you." Jeff followed the instruction before handing the phone back to Blaine who, after checking that nobody was around, called Kurt. "Hey babe, I've got Jeff here who was wondering if he could talk to you about something?" After a few seconds of silence, Blaine nodded. "He'll tell you. I'll talk to you later, alright. Love you."

Blaine handed over the phone and Jeff stepped into the Isolation room, allowing Blaine to shut the door. He took a second to get used to the darkness of the room before pressing the phone to his ear. "Kurt?"

"Hey, Jeff." Kurt's voice, warm and friendly as it had been the last time, came down the line. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah." Jeff took a deep breath - even though he had already admitted it twice in the past few weeks, it was still a big deal to tell someone. "Um, I don't know if Blaine's told you anything about what happened yesterday but we were in our group therapy session and some stuff came up and the counsellor basically told everybody some stuff that had happened in my past and I had a complete meltdown and - and I'm rambling. And you probably have no idea why I'm talking to you right now."

Kurt laughed quietly. "Not really," he admitted, "but it's alright. Go on."

And Kurt sounded so gentle and understanding that Jeff knew he didn't need to hold back. "The truth came out to everybody that I'm suffering with depression, self harming and that I tried to kill myself."

There were exactly three seconds of silence, Jeff holding his breath as he waited for a response. "Honey, you need to know right now how amazing you are," Kurt finally said, his voice sounding suspiciously choked up. "And brave. Thank you for telling me."

Jeff fought back his tears because he still had to get used to this whole being considered brave thing. In his own mind he was the weakest person he knew. "I - Blaine told me to call you because…" he stopped, remembering Blaine's comment last night about Kurt not wanting Blaine to tell anybody and wondering how to deal with the situation at hand.

Kurt dealt with it for him. "Because I've been there," he said quietly. "It's alright, I know Blaine wouldn't have told you if he didn't think it would help. And I'm glad he did because now I can help you and you can talk to someone who knows what it's like. You've never been able to do that, have you?"

"No," Jeff whispered, trying to get his voice to sound stronger and failing. "Never. The only people who knew before this camp were my parents." Kurt sounded like he was going to say something but Jeff beat him to it, needing to know. "How did you do it, Kurt? How did you get through it?"

There were a few moments of silence as if Kurt didn't know what to say. "Sometimes I don't even know, Jeff. Some days I swear I'm not actually past it, like it's just around the corner and I'm going to slip back into it if I'm not careful. But it's been a year for me, Jeff. A whole year without hurting myself and as much as Blaine says otherwise, I owe a lot of it to him. But I owe it to myself too." Kurt sighed. "Jeff, it wasn't easy, and I won't try and tell you that it is. Getting the willpower to quit was the most difficult thing because after so long of struggling with it and spending so long being hated for who I was, I didn't see why it was even a problem. It was just me I was hurting after all." Jeff nodded, completely understanding the feeling. "It actually took a few months after Blaine found out before he had to sit me down and tell me it was hurting him."

"Were you together then?"

"No," Kurt said, his voice dropping lower as the memories clearly rushed back to him. "I had already decided I wouldn't date anybody while I was self harming, not until I stopped. But he was my best friend and he found out in the first few weeks of me being at Dalton. Even back then he could read me better than anybody else ever will and he knew something wasn't right. Of course he was distraught when he found out, but it really didn't hit me until the day he came to me and told me I had to stop because he couldn't bear knowing that I was destroying myself." Jeff winced, understanding the power those words would have on Kurt, especially if he had liked Blaine at the time. "So I had to try and do something. And admitting it to him and discussing it with him was definitely one of the hardest things about it because I'd never told anybody before."

Jeff wasn't sure whether he was overstepping but ventured to ask, "Blaine said you and your dad get along really well. You didn't -?"

"I couldn't. Or at least I didn't think I could." Kurt sniffed. "He had trouble with his heart, finding out about the bullying and having to get me transferred to Dalton was stress enough in my opinion. It took a lot of convincing from Blaine before I would even consider telling him. But I'm so glad I did because he loves me exactly the same, only now he knows to keep an eye on me." Kurt grew silent and Jeff knew he was probably crying. "How are your parents with it?"

Jeff bit his lip. "They, uh, they found out when my mom found me unconscious on the bathroom floor." He heard Kurt gasp softly but knew it wasn't judgmental, simply shock. "They hate that I do it but they haven't stopped loving me and they just want to know when I do it so they can keep an eye on me. And obviously they want to know if I ever get to that point again."

"Jeff… honey, can you tell me from the start?"

So, once again, Jeff laid his whole story out on the line. It was easier this time around, he noticed, probably half from having already said it once and half from knowing that Kurt got it. And because of that, Jeff didn't have to hold back, didn't have to give the censored version like he had with the boys the previous night. He hadn't concealed anything but with Kurt he could talk about the cutting in much more detail, the severity, the tools, everything that other people would probably consider him mental for talking or even thinking about. And when it was finally out, Jeff almost collapsed in relief because it was out.

Kurt had stayed silent throughout the whole thing and Jeff waited for a response. "Has Blaine preached his courage mantra at you yet?"

Jeff laughed. "Last night, yes."

"Take in every word of that, Jeff, because you'll need it. You're already so strong, but god have you been through a lot." Kurt's voice was thick with emotion but Jeff could hear the smile in his words. "You're honestly inspirational, you know? And you're going to get through it, I promise, but you need to get out of that school."

"Oh, Blaine didn't mention it? I am." Jeff laughed again, feeling more carefree than he had in a long time. "I'm coming to Dalton next year."

Kurt squealed in delight and Jeff immediately classed it as the cutest noise he had ever heard. "I get to meet you! Oh, I'm so excited, all we need to do now is get Nick along… except Nick's a little standoffish, isn't he?"

Jeff hesitated for a second. "Not so much anymore," he said, noticing his voice had gone softer. "He talked last night too."

"He has a story?" Kurt's tone turned concerned again. "Does he need to talk to someone?"

"I don't think so. He - I hope he'll talk to me if he needs to." Jeff wasn't sure that it would be the case - after all, Nick had only just started talking about his past and was clearly still struggling to accept himself. But Jeff was going to make damn sure that he was there for Nick if he needed it.

There was a slight inflection in Kurt's next sentence and Jeff tried his hardest not to read into it, not even sure why he didn't want to know. "I think he will. But back to you, Jeff. Can I ask some questions?"

"Go for it."

The following conversations had Jeff laying his soul barer than he ever had before. Kurt's questions were probing but gentle enough that Jeff had no hesitance to answer them and couldn't even bring himself to feel ashamed of his answers, especially not when Kurt was telling his own story too - a story so similar to Jeff's except for the one key difference; he had stopped.

"You're going to get through it, Jeff," Kurt said quietly, his voice sounding slightly hoarse. Jeff glanced at his watch, surprised to see that they had been talking for close to two hours. "It won't be easy, but it will happen. I promise it gets so much better."

And Jeff believed him. "Thank you, Kurt."

"I'm going to get you to get my number off Blaine's phone and text me yours. I want to stay in touch with you when you're out of here, especially since I'll be seeing you at Dalton in a few months." Jeff smiled at the thought. "And I want you to call me any time you need it. I don't care if it's three in the morning - I've called Blaine at that time before and I felt horrible for doing it but it was necessary. Don't hold back on asking for help. I'm here for you, Blaine's here, I think Nick probably is too. You're an amazing guy, Jeff… and Blaine tells me you're hot too."

The serious atmosphere was completely broken as Jeff laughed. "Well, I try," he said jokingly. "I'll do my best to not seduce your boyfriend away."

"See that you don't. Speaking of my boyfriend, you'd better get him to let you out of that room, hadn't you?"

Jeff looked at his watch again and realized that Nick should be getting out of his counseling session soon. "I think so. Thank you, Kurt, so much."

"Anytime, Jeff. I mean that. I'm looking forward to meeting you."

"You too."

Jeff ended the call and quickly sent a text to his own phone before sitting down to wait. It only took a few minutes before the door was creaking open. Jeff blinked against the harsh light, his eyes focusing in to see Blaine standing there. "How'd it go?" he asked, holding his hand out for Jeff to take.

"Your boyfriend is incredible."

Blaine laughed, taking his phone back from Jeff. "Isn't he just? Don't get any ideas though, he's mine."

The fact that he could joke about boys with someone was something that Jeff really needed to get used to but knew it would take awhile, just the same as the easy camaraderie that he and Blaine were sharing as they walked back to their cabin would.

But the thing that would really take a lot of getting used to was walking back into the cabin to be met with a boy throwing his arms around him and blurting out, "I'm gay, Jeff. And I'm so damn proud of it!"

Nick.

Nick had never believed he would be able to be cheerful at any second of this camp, let alone going to therapy. But he was almost whistling as he crossed the campsite towards the small building where he knew Dr. Peterson was waiting. Yes, the man was probably going to try and drag his past out of him again and try to make him talk which had so far been unsuccessful in his other sessions. But this time he was going to succeed, because Nick was going to talk. He just wasn't going to say things the counsellor would like.

The moment he entered, Dr. Peterson was talking as usual. "Nicholas. Am I going to be talking at you again this session or would you like to input?"

"I would love to talk." Nick threw himself into the chair and grinned at the surprised psychiatrist. "What I'd like to start with is seeing a copy of the confidentiality waivers this camp has in regards to psychology. I presume you got your proper training?" The doctor opened his mouth to reply but Nick overrode him. "If you did then you have to abide by the same rules as any other doctor of your profession - you cannot share details of what is said in your session except with people you directly report to if there is an issue of safety, or to the parents or caregivers of the person you are talking with."

There were a few moments of silence. "I fail to see what this has to do with you. You haven't talked so I haven't had anything to share with anybody."

Nick raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "No, you haven't. But this becomes about me when you upset my roommate and friend to the point you did last night because you let his private details spread across the campsite. In his situation, you may have chosen to report to your superior because you thought there was an issue of safety, but there is no way that the story should have gotten to other counsellors without Jeff's permission and especially not brought up in an environment where others could use it to judge him." Nick shifted so he was facing the man completely. "You, sir, have gone against everything you stand for as a psychiatrist and if I was on better terms with my father, I would convince him to bring charges against you on Jeff's behalf."

Of course Dr. Peterson only heard what he wanted to hear. "You're on bad terms with your father, Nicholas?"

"Yes, I'm on bad terms with my father because he can't accept the fact that I'm gay."

Nick paused, his mind relaying the words again. He had said he was gay before, of course - coming out to his parents, talking to the other guys, group therapy… but he had always just said it because it was what he should say, because they were the words that apparently described what was going on in his heart. But it had always felt like 'Nick' and 'gay' were two separate entities, like they were separate and he had to switch between them to be whoever he was. In fact, it had been a necessity in his high school where the aim of the game was to keep low and not draw attention to oneself.

But this time, the words had clunked into place, settling somewhere in his heart as truth. And Nick knew for certain and knew it was okay.

"I'm gay," he repeated softly.

Apparently the psychiatrist hadn't heard him. "So when did these issues with your father start?"

Nick figured he had said enough and lounged back in the chair, folding his arms behind his head. "That's between me and my father," he said loftily before beginning to whistle loudly, staring up at the ceiling. Keeping the grin from crossing his face wasn't exactly easy but somehow Nick managed to last out the rest of the therapy session without a hint of anything other than indifference showing on his face.

Just before the time ran out, Dr. Peterson finally asked a question that Nick felt like answering. "Why do you continue to stick to this stubbornness that you are 'gay'?" he asked, air quotations and all.

Nick slowly sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning his head on his hands. "Because I am," he said simply. "I know who I am and I'm gay."

And it really didn't get any better than this because for once in his life, Nick did know for certain who he was. It didn't matter what kinds of things they could throw at him here, what they would try to get him to believe or not believe about himself. It didn't matter that his father hated him and would never be proud of him unless he married a girl and became a lawyer. It didn't matter that his mother wouldn't stick up for him or be brave enough to say that she loved her son for who he was. Of course they were all fundamental parts of his life, but right now Nick knew the only thing that mattered was that he knew himself. And he could be confident in who he was and proud of himself.

Dr. Peterson sighed. "An attitude we need to begin discussing. Now that you've started to open up, we can begin to work through this mindset that -"

"Oh hey, look at that." Nick pointed at the clock. "Time's up, doc. See you in three days!" And before the doctor could make a comment, Nick was out of the room, staring around the campsite as if he had expected it to change. And really, that wasn't too strange of a thought considering how much he had managed to change in a matter of minutes.

Everything feels so… free.

Nick wasn't naive. He knew he was still stuck at this camp for the next few weeks and, after his comments in therapy after his previous stony silence, the counsellors would probably be keeping a close eye on him and trying to get him to change. But now that Nick knew who he was, he had no intention of letting anybody stop that.

But right now, Nick had some people he suddenly wanted to see more than anything.

Nick jogged back to the room, feeling like every nerve ending was tingling. On his way, he noticed Blaine heading across the campsite and presumed Jeff was still in the room but when he arrived he found it empty. Nick attempted to sit on his bed but found himself back on his feet before he knew it. His journal was dug out from under his bed and two words were written in big block letters before that was tossed aside too in his overwhelmed state.

And then the door opened to reveal Jeff and Blaine, laughing about something, and Nick didn't even think about it twice before practically throwing himself at Jeff, clearly startling the blonde boy. "I'm gay, Jeff," he exclaimed, finally able to say the words properly and mean them. "And I'm so damn proud of it!"

It took a few seconds for Jeff to realize what was going on, but as soon as he did he was laughing and hugging Nick back. And then Blaine was joining them and they were all slightly hysterical but it was worth it. Nick had never felt so accepted in his life. Finally Nick pulled back, wiping his eyes and realizing he wasn't at all ashamed that he had started crying because it was about time all of these tears came out. There was no more suppressing his emotions. "So what torture are they putting us through this afternoon?" he asked, knowing no words needed to pass between them anymore. They could just keep moving forward.

"Seminar." Jeff groaned loudly and Blaine nodded. "I know, they'll realize someday that it's not going to work. I think half the counsellors around here have mental problems, or perhaps their ignorance is just… what?"

Nick winced as Blaine slowly turned to see Stephen standing in the doorway, arms crossed. Jeff dropped his arms from where he had been frantically signaling to Blaine to shut up, but the damage was done. "Anderson. I think you can use a few hours in Isolation for those comments."

Jeff cast a panicked look at Nick who was biting his lip. So far the three of them had managed to stay out of Isolation to their relief, but it looked like Blaine was the first to go. To their surprise, Blaine simply shrugged. "Alright. I'll see you guys later. Enjoy the seminar." His last words were dripping with sarcasm and he pulled his arm away from Stephen's grip, winking back at the boys and touching his pocket lightly.

As soon as he was gone, Jeff started laughing. "Yeah, he'll be fine."

"What?"

"Oh, I was out in Isolation before talking to Kurt on Blaine's phone, I only just gave it back to him. I know what he'll be doing in there."

Nick allowed himself to smile, knowing Blaine had just been handed the opportunity to spend some quality time talking to his boyfriend. And even though Nick still couldn't stomach the thought of spending time in that room, he knew it wasn't an issue for the others who enjoyed the privacy of it. "So, you talked to Kurt?" he said slowly. "About… yeah. Um, how was that?"

Jeff's smile faded. "Yeah, it went good. He's helpful."

"I'm glad." Nick rubbed at the back of his neck uncomfortably, well aware of the tense silence that had filled the room, but he really didn't know what else to say.

Unfortunately, Jeff picked up the wrong vibe completely, crossing his arms over his chest almost defensively. But his tone when he finally spoke was more defeated than anything Nick had heard before. "Look, if I made you uncomfortable by talking about it, we can forget I ever mentioned it. I know it's a pretty taboo subject and I spilled my guts and we barely know each other and all that. So if you want to forget it, please do."

Nick was shaking his head immediately. "No, not like that, Jeff. Never like that. I just… I don't know what to say and I don't want to say anything that could accidentally offend you or make you think I'm judging you because I couldn't really live with myself if I did that. That's all."

There was a long moment where Jeff simply stared at him. And then he smiled.

Of course Nick had seen Jeff smile before but this… this was like the sun coming out in the middle of winter. Jeff was smiling at him, just for him and it sent Nick's heart into a frenzy he had never experienced before. All because of a smile.

What's going on here?

The moment passed as soon as Jeff turned away towards the door, his voice slightly higher than normal and suspiciously emotional. "So, let's go get this seminar out of the way." Nick groaned loudly and Jeff laughed. "Come on, we'll sit next to Scott and have him give us color commentary."

Unfortunately, Scott was absent from the seminar, and considering James was still in Isolation, Nick had a pretty good idea of where he would be. Instead, he and Jeff sat up the back - not that anybody voluntarily sat down the front except for Peter and the counsellors - and pretended to pay attention. Well, Nick pretended to pay attention. Jeff was slowly falling asleep in his seat, his head leaning closer and closer towards Nick's shoulder who held his breath, just waiting…

And then Jessica appeared - Nick hadn't even noticed she wasn't down the front - and slapped Jeff on the back of the head to wake him up. Nick suppressed a sigh, promptly confusing himself. Why did I want him to fall asleep on me? That's kind of… weird.

Nick didn't take in a word of the seminar which was something about the roots of evil in homosexuality and how every famous homosexual in history ended up going wrong. Instead, he took the time to let his thoughts roam free, allowing himself to casually sort through the past twenty four hours and get himself to a place where he was content to move forward. Nick had never given himself this luxury before, tending to keep his thoughts tightly boxed away where he couldn't give them free reign, and it was so relaxing that he barely noticed he was awake until the sound of chairs shifting alerted him to the end of the seminar. Turning, he saw Jeff staring at him and raised an eyebrow in silent question. "You're getting there," Jeff said simply. "Let me know if I can do anything to help."

Nick was overly touched by the statement. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't think I want to go to dinner tonight."

"Neither do I." Jeff stood and held his hand out for Nick to take. "Want to swing by Scott's room and check if he's in there?"

Nick waited until he had stood because by now he knew it was going to feel strange when he took Jeff's hand. He couldn't figure out why yet but Nick knew he should know. "That sounds fantastic," he said once they had broken contact. "I know he has more chocolate that he hasn't given up yet."

Jeff laughed again and together they headed over to Scott's cabin. The rest of the boys were headed to the dining hall along with the counsellors so it was easy enough to slip into the room… that was, until Jeff stopped dead in the doorway, Nick running into the back of him. "What's wrong?"

"Shh," Jeff said quickly, pitching his voice to a low murmur. "Scott, sorry, we'll just go -"

"No, no it's fine. Come in."

After a second of hesitation, Jeff stepped into the room and Nick finally got to see what had startled the boy so much. And Jeff was probably right to be startled since Scott was sitting on his bed with James in his lap who was fast asleep with tear tracks streaked across his face. Scott was wiping at his own eyes but still smiled at them. "You're always welcome, okay? James won't mind."

"What happened?" Nick breathed before stopping himself. "I mean, you don't have to, I just… is he okay?"

Scott nodded, gesturing for them to sit down on the opposite bed. "James just got out of Isolation," he began quietly, glancing down at his boyfriend with his fingers brushing idly through his hair. "Isolation itself doesn't bother either of us, but James's biggest trigger is words. And Jessica took it upon herself to stand outside the Isolation room just before you guys went in to the seminar and give him a lecture for the last hour of his time in there about how he was an abomination, filth, scum… you get the picture." Scott sighed painfully. "He broke. And of course I had to pick up the pieces because people think it's okay to hurt my boyfriend and think he'll sort himself out."

Nick was speechless. Scott and James had been that couple who had always seemed so strong. They were absolutely crazy about each other, determined to be who they were without caring about consequences and were honestly Nick's role models when it came to the kind of person he wanted to be and to be with. And to see them so broken, it was like a kick in the gut. But Nick's respect for them was still sky high because he saw how much Scott cared about James, how much he was willing to go through to be with him and how he refused to walk away even after seeing him like this.

I want to be loved like that.

"You guys are going to be alright?" Jeff asked. Nick glanced over and saw the look of almost admiration on his face and realized that the boy had come to similar conclusions to him. "Can we do anything - try to keep Jessica away from him?" Nick nodded, already willing to give whatever support he could, even though the little voice at the back of his mind nagged at him that he could be thrown into Isolation for this.

Scott looked back up and smiled at them. "I'm sure it would be much appreciated if you can, but don't go getting yourselves into trouble for our sake. After all, we're the ones who are meant to be getting into trouble for you guys!" He laughed before glancing at the clock. "Now, since you showed up here during dinner, I'm guessing you didn't want to eat their filth. You know where my stash is." Nick couldn't resist any longer, pulling the box out from under Scott's bed and tossing a few items up to Jeff. "Hey, where's Blaine?" the boy asked, frowning at them.

"Isolation," Jeff said. "But he's got his phone so we don't think he'll be suffering too much."

Scott laughed quietly. "Get him to tell Kurt I said hi. I've never actually talked to the kid but I've heard rave reviews that he's pretty amazing."

Jeff suddenly grinned. "He is," he said and Nick remembered that Jeff had been talking to Kurt that morning.

Was that only this morning? It feels like forever ago.

"We'd better go before we get caught in here," Jeff said, casting a look at Nick who nodded and headed for the door. "Look after each other."

"We will. You guys too."

Nick glanced back at that but Scott was already focused on James again. Deciding to let the statement lie, he followed Jeff out of the room and across to their cabin. Saving a few things for Blaine, they made quick work of the food before Jeff sprawled on his bed, glancing across to Nick who was perched on the edge of his. "So, we dealt with all of the serious stuff last night. Tell me something about you that's interesting."

It only took Nick a second to think. "Okay, I understudied as Kurt in the Sound of Music when I was eleven."

Jeff's eyebrows raised. "Really? That's awesome!" He laughed, shaking his head. "I knew from the second I saw you that you were musical. I just did, and your line about not being a singer… I wanted to call you out on that so badly."

"You have no idea how much I wanted to just tell you," Nick admitted. "But I was so determined not to let anybody in."

"I'm glad you have."

Jeff's voice was quiet but determined and Nick watched, fascinated, as he blushed. "I'm glad I have too," he said softly. "It feels so weird knowing that there's people who know so much about me, but I couldn't have asked for anybody better to have found out." And now they were both blushing and Nick was slowly beginning to understand why, but just before he could properly get there, the door was opening to reveal Blaine. "Oh, hey, you're out early."

Blaine tossed himself onto his bed, toeing off his shoes. "Yeah, Alana came by, said I'd suffered enough. How was the seminar?"

"Boring," Nick said quickly. "Isolation?"

In answer, Blaine held up his phone. "Kurt's a lifesaver. I would've gone stir crazy in there." He turned to Nick as he shoved the phone back under his mattress. "I just hope you never get put in. There was a bit of light coming in but once the sun went down, yeah. Not great."

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'll do my best to stay away from it."

"We'll look after you," Blaine said cheerfully before yawning widely. "We didn't sleep much last night, did we?"

Now that Nick thought about it, he realized he was bone tired. "No, not at all. Want to call it an early night?"

Blaine opened his mouth to reply but stopped, gesturing in Jeff's direction. Nick turned to see Jeff's back turned to them, the boy clearly already asleep. "Yeah, I'd say that means an early night," Blaine said, a hint of laughter in his voice. "And you know what's awesome? I don't have to spend ten minutes washing my hair out tonight!"

"We told you there were perks," Nick teased, kicking off his shoes and finding he didn't have the energy to do anything else but fall into bed. "Can you get the light?" Grumbling, Blaine took the few steps to the light switch and turned it off, sending the room into blissful darkness. "Thanks, Blaine."

"G'night," came the muffled reply.

Nick allowed his eyes to close, a smile curving across his face because hey, today was kind of awesome. "Goodnight," he murmured before drifting into what he hoped would be a dream-free sleep.

Either that or a dream suspiciously entailing a blonde haired boy with the most gorgeous laugh Nick had ever heard. He wasn't fussy.

Next Chapter: Car.