Chapter 10

Taller Than You

River was bored. It was Monday; she'd only been at Fowl Manor a day and she was bored out of her skull. She'd even got a pair of enormous scissors and cut her hair. It was now a bob just below her ears. It had been a mess at first, but she had followed an internet guide and now it looked ok. She'd met the Artemis' parents, Mr Fowl and Mrs Fowl, and Butler, an enormous man who seemed to be made entirely of muscle, who was Artemis' bodyguard.

"Cool!" River had said when she met him. "Can you kill people?"

"Yes, so you had better behave," Butler had replied. River was intimidated, but still thought he was awesome.

"Bored, bored, bored," River said quietly to herself. She was lying on the double bed in one of the many guest rooms of Fowl Manor. Artemis had stayed away from her as much as possible, preferring to keep in his room, working on the computer. At first, River had been allowed to watch, but she had been to annoying to be allowed to stay, and Artemis had banned her from his room, his laboratory, meditation room and his computer room. River didn't want to go in the meditation room anyway, as she was far too hyper to meditate properly, but she had wanted to go in the laboratory as she wanted to blow stuff up. She decided to go and into the gardens; maybe there was something fun out there.

After a long time of wondering round the acres of land, River decided she was Officially Lost. But she didn't mind. It was nice being lost; it meant you had an excuse for being late or being where you weren't meant to be. River was in a section of land that was covered in woods. She was disappointed to find that there were no rope swings, but not surprised; Artemis did not seem like a rope swing sort of person. She climbed a tree to see where she was. Unfortunately, it didn't help much and all she learnt was that she was definably in a wood. She sighed, climbed down and carried on exploring.

River could see the edge of the wood. The trees were thinning and she could see light coming through. She ran towards it, as she was getting bored of being lost. Suddenly, something hit her in the head. She stumbled and nearly fell, but she caught herself in time.

"What the hell was that?" she said. She turned round and saw her attacker. It was a piece of wood tied to some string! "A rope swing!" said River happily. The swing went over a dip in the ground and it went quite high. River scrambled up onto the swing and swung herself back and forth. Suddenly, she heard a stick snap behind her. She span on the swing with her fist clenched in a punch and she felt it connect with something. She stopped the swing and jumped off. Standing next to her with her hand on her cheek where River had punched her was a tall blonde girl. She had blue, nearly black eyes and a jade ring in her plait. She looked about 19.

"Who are you and what are you doing on my swing?" she said, taking a hostile stance.

River put her hands up to show she didn't want to fight.

"I'm River Fisher and I was playing on the swing. It didn't know it belonged to anyone!" she said.

"How did you get past the security?" asked the girl.

"What security? I just walked here!" said River.

"Where did you walk from?"

"I walked from the big house,"

"Come with me, I'm going to check. The Fowls don't take kindly to trespassers."

"But I'm not trespassing!"

"Come on!"

The girl led River to a large wooden lodge. Inside it was very high tech and was full of surveillance equipment. The girl got out a walkie-talkie from a draw and turned it on.

"Hey bro!" said the girl. "I've got a River Fisher here, she was trespassing. What should I do?"

The person on the other end said something and the girl's expression changed to surprise.

"What?" she said. "Oh my god, that must have been hilarious! Bye!" She turned off the walkie-talkie.

"Hi River, sorry about that!" she said brightly. "I'm Juliet Butler, Butler is my big brother. I'm a professional wrestler in Mexico; my stage name is Jade Princess. I only got back this morning, so I didn't know about you. I can't wait to watch you on TV!"

"Wow, you're a wrestler! That is so cool!" said River. "Can you teach me?"

"Sure, but I'm only staying until Thursday," replied Juliet. "Let's go back to Fowl Manor."

It turned out that River had gone the long way around the gardens and that Fowl Manor was only a 5 minute walk to the house. When they got there, Juliet insisted that they had lunch first. She took River to the most enormous kitchen she had ever seen. It had every kind of cooker and a whole wall of fridges and freezers.

"Can I have a sandwich?" asked River.

"Fridge 5," said Juliet. River opened fridge 5 and it was full of different sandwiches. River got a sandwich with cheese, ham, pineapple, tomato and sweet corn all as the fillings. They were all her favourite fillings but she didn't know they could be put in the same sandwich.

"Wow, this place is so cool!" said River when she and Juliet had finished their food. They were in the dojo where there was a large wrestling ring.

"Come on, I'll show you the basics," said Juliet. She began to instruct River on wrestling. For the rest of the day, Juliet taught River, until it was supper time.

"But I'm not hungry!" protested River.

"Well I am, but we can carry on tomorrow," promised Juliet.

"Where have you been all day?" Artemis asked River over supper.

"Juliet was teaching me to wrestle!" said River as she ate he food quickly.

"Juliet is a good wrestler," said Butler. "You be careful with her, she is stronger than you think."

"Juliet is so cool!" said River. "I think you are cool too. You even know how to use a gun and do ninja stuff!"

"I don't do 'ninja stuff'," said Butler. "And lots of people can use guns."

"You still rock though," River said. "I finished, can I get down now?"

"Yes, you may," sighed Artemis. He had barely started his main course, but River had finished her second helping of pudding. She had dreadful table manners, but at least she tried.

"Where is the washing up place?" asked River.

"Why?" asked Artemis.

"To put the plate away!" said River.

"Just leave it there," said Artemis.

River went off to goodness knows where, humming loudly as she went.

"Butler, please could you ask Juliet to see me in my office," instructed Artemis.

"Yes Artemis," replied Butler as he tidied up River's plate.

"What is it Arty?" asked Juliet as she stood before his desk. "I want to go and water the plants. They haven't been flowering as well as before since the siege; all the fairies squashed them!"

"I gather that River trusts you?" Artemis asked, ignoring Juliet's complaints about the plants.

"Yeah, she thinks I'm great!" said Juliet.

"I want you to find out if she has ever met the fairies," said Artemis. "But if she hasn't, don't let her find out about them. We don't want her telling anyone! Ask her about when she was younger, maybe about 2."

"But people can't remember when they are that little!" protested Juliet.

"River might, she has an amazing memory," insisted Artemis. "Please do it."

"Okay, fine. I'll try," sighed Juliet.

Over the next few days, River followed Juliet around nearly everywhere. She did lots of training and, although she would never reach professional level, was becoming better at wrestling. On Wednesday, River and Juliet were sitting in the dojo, having a break.

"I have to go tomorrow," said Juliet sadly. River had really grown on her. She would miss her when she left for Mexico. "Can I have your mobile so we can keep in touch?"

"Sure," said River and entered it in Juliet's mobile.

"River?" asked Juliet.

"Uh-huh?" said River.

"Artemis said you were adopted. What happened to you when you were little?"

"I lived somewhere else. I can't remember where. Maybe in a different country; I can speak a weird language but nobody knows what it is. I lived with somebody called… damn, I can't remember! Can I tell you something Juliet?"

"Yes, what is it?"

River lowered her voice. "I believe in fairies. Not silly ones in dresses. I think…I think I used to know them. I just can't remember them."

The next day, Juliet left for Mexico again. River was back to being bored.

"Why don't you go into the library?" suggested Artemis when she asked him what to do.

So River looked round for the library. The inside of Fowl Manor seemed as big as the outside, so soon River was yet again, Officially Lost. After half an hour of searching, River finally found Butler, who was doing his patrol.

"What are you doing?" he asked sternly. He didn't trust River after hearing she had put Artemis in a dress.

"I'm lost. I'm looking for the library," said River simply.

"It's the door over there," said Butler, showing her the correct door. River thanked him and went inside.

The library was an enormous room with shelves covering all of the walls and with lots of comfy chairs to read in. River searched the shelves for something that looked good, but all of the books were old and (in River's opinion) boring. As she was going along one of the many shelves, a particular book caught her eye. It was bright red and when she opened it, it was made of photos banded together. She found the first page and began to read.

The Book of the People.

Being instructions to our magic and life rules.

Carry me always, carry me well.

I am thy teacher of herb and spell.

I am thy link to power arcane.

Forget me and thy power shall wane.

Ten times commandments there be.

They will answer every mystery.

Cure, curses, alchemy.

These secrets shall be thine, through me.

But, Fairy, remember this above all.

I am not for those in mud that crawl.

And forever doomed shall be the one,

who betrays my secrets one by one.

After River had finished reading the first page, she smiled. Reading those words felt like discovering a forgotten nursery rhyme. Then she realised that the writing in the photos was in the strange language she knew. She hadn't even noticed! She was beginning to remember some things about when she was little. She smiled again and went back to reading the book.

When River had finished the book, she could remember everything about the fairies. She could remember living with Foaly, she could remember pre-school, she could remember her intrepid babysitter, Holly, who tried in vain to look after her and stop her from causing a disaster. She could remember being given her own copy of the book and being upset when she saw it taken away. But she couldn't remember why. She also remembered that Foaly had given her the ring. She was about to try to see if it was a communicator, when she remembered she was being filmed. It would be terrible if she revealed the fairies to the world. But what should she do?

'I'll find out if Artemis knows about fairies!' she thought. That could explain why he had asked about fairies. But how could she find that out?

River never was one for subtlety. Her method of finding out if Artemis knew about fairies was to ambush him from behind a curtain and shout "Do you know about fairies?"

"Shush!" said Artemis. "Come into my room,"

"Yay!" said River. She hadn't been in Artemis' room before.

"We can talk freely in here, I've installed a jamming device to stop the cameras," said Artemis once they were inside. "Now how do you know about fairies and more importantly, what do you know about fairies?"

"I know nearly everything!" said River. "I just remembered!"

"How did you remember them? How did you find out about them?"

"I found a copy of The Book in the library," said River. "And I used to live with the fairies!"

"What?" Artemis said.

"I lived with a centaur called Foaly when I was little!" said River. "And also, you know this program is made by PPTV?"

"Yes,"

"That's a fairy channel,"

"This whole thing was the fairies! Please can you tell me about what you remember? Actually, don't. I need to make a few calls first."

Haven, Deep Underground

"D'arvit, he's onto us!" swore Holly. She was at Foaly's house, watching the cameras of Artemis and River. It had been quite boring recently though. Artemis just went on his computers all the time and River was funny, but she was always crashing into things, which was affecting the quality of the video.

"I thought you said those cameras could survive anything!" Holly had said.

"Yes, but I didn't make them River proof!" Foaly had protested.

They were certain that River was Foaly's River and that she could remember them, as she had read The Book, but they hoped she hadn't told Artemis. Artemis thought his jamming device stopped the cameras, but Foaly had seen the blueprints for it and had made his cameras immune to it. Unfortunately, it seemed that Artemis now knew that they, or at least a fairy, were behind the show.

"What's he doing?" asked Foaly, who was watching the screen intently.

"I can't tell," said Holly.

Suddenly, her communicator rang.

"Hello," she said. "Who is it?"

"It's Artemis," replied Artemis. "I would like you and Foaly and anyone else who's involved with this to come to my house as soon as possible."

"Involved with what?" asked Holly innocently.

"Don't play innocent, you know what I mean. Just come up here. Even if you don't know what's going on, you can still help with something."

"Fine, I'll come, Mud Boy."

Holly hung up.

"What does he want?" asked Foaly

"He knows it us. He wants us to come to his house. Should we go?" replied Holly.

"Might as well. I never get to go above the ground. Anyway, I would like to see River," said Foaly. "I've got a season ticket to the surface; I've always wanted to use it. You can come on it too."

"Ok," said Holly.

Fowl Manor

A while after Artemis had called Holly, Holly and Foaly arrived at the doors of the manor. Artemis' parents were out, so it was safe for the fairies to come in without being seen. Artemis told River to stay in his room, without touching anything, and went to let his guest in.

"Hello," he said. "You can come in. Would you mind waiting in the lounge while I get River?"

"Hello to you too, Artemis," said Holly.

"Hey Dress Boy," said Foaly.

Artemis scowled.

"I'm going to get River," he said. He went up the stairs, leaving Holly and Foaly to find the lounge.

"I remember, it's in here," said Holly, leading through a door. Holly sat on one of the large sofas that seemed even bigger to a fairy.

She could her Artemis shouting at River upstairs, something about a computer. They eventually came downstairs. The door burst open and Holly instinctively jumped up, ready for action. But it was only River. She stood still for a second, and then ran at Foaly.

"FOALY!" she shouted and hugged him. Foaly looked panicked; he never was very good with River shouting, even when she was little.

"Hello River!" he said. "I would say you've grown, but, quite frankly, you haven't much."

"Foaly!" said Holly. "Don't be rude!"

"But it is true!" protested Foaly.

"She has grown! How tall are you, River?"

"I am 111cm!" said River proudly. "Hello Holly!" she ran over and gave her a hug.

"She has grown. She used to be shorter than me!" said Holly.

"It doesn't matter about her height, I want you all to explain what happened," snapped Artemis impatiently.

"Wait, first I want you to explain how you know Artemis!" said River.

"Well, Artemis made first contact," said Holly. "He kidnapped me!"

"What happened?" asked River, jumping onto the sofa and sitting down.

So they all started to explain the story.

"…but since then, Artemis has helped us and we have become friends," finished Holly. River had sat still for the whole story and Artemis had sat beside her. Butler had slipped in, unnoticed.

"Wow!" said River. Then she turned to Artemis. Then she punched him, so quick even Butler didn't have time to stop her. Instead, he picked her up.

"Don't punch Artemis!" he said.

"But he kidnapped Holly! Anyway, you didn't tell Holly off when she did! It's not fair if you pick on me!"

"Oh well," said Butler, putting her down.

"Now," said Artemis, rubbing his arm where River had punched him. "Tell me about how you all met."
"When I was little, I crawled into a Haven bound shuttled and into Haven," said River. "Foaly found me and took me home."

"How?" asked Artemis.

"The adoption system is very easy in Haven, because it is rarely used. Basically, anyone can take home an orphan," said Foaly.

"Anyway, Foaly looked after me and Holly sometimes babysat me," said River.

"But why didn't you stay?" asked Artemis.

"Well, somebody was worried about River and made me do some tests on her," said Foaly. "The tests said she was human, and Root made me give her back."

"Meany," said River grumpily. "Can I come and visit you during the holidays? Like, now?"

"Somebody from the LEP would have to come and see you," said Foaly. "Not me or Holly. I can call now, if you want."

"YAY!" said River. "Call now, call now, call now, call now!"

"Wait, not until you tell me about you making the show!" interrupted Artemis.

"Oh, Holly got drunk and thought it would be funny to make you stay with somebody annoying. She mesmerised your mother to entre you. We thought it was really funny!" said Foaly. "I'll call LEP now."

He trotted out and came back a few minutes later. "Root is coming," he said. "He's really angry, so be good River, ok?"

"Yeah, whatever!" said River.

Half an hour later, Root knocked on the door. He had his gun and was in full LEP kit.

"Hello Julius!" said Foaly happily.

"Don't call me Julius!" snarled Root. His face was already red.

Foaly led him to the room where River was waiting. "She's in there," he said.

Root went in and found the Mud Girl and the sofa.

"Right, Mud Girl, what's your name?" he said angrily. The girl stood up and went over to him. She looked quite frightened. Good, thought Root. That should mean she behaves. The girl stared at him for a moment and then said, "I'm River Fisher and I'm taller than you!"

"No you're not!" said Root. He was the tallest elf he knew. He wasn't going to let a Mud Girl be taller than him, even if she did look like an elf.

"Yes I am!" insisted River.

"Not!"

"I Am!"

"NOT!"

"I AM!"

Root went on his tip toes. "Who's taller now?" he taunted. It was unprofessional, but he wasn't going to be beaten.

River went on her toes. "ME!" she shouted.

Root climbed onto a coffee table. "NO ME!" he shouted.

River jumped onto the sofa. "ME!"

Root climbed onto the mantelpiece. "ME!"

River climbed up the long curtains until her head was on the ceiling. "ME!"

Root turned on his wings and flew up to the same height as her. "ME!"

Foaly, Holly, Butler and Artemis all came in. They had been hearing the shouts and were worried about what had happened.

"What the D'arvit are you doing?" shouted Holly.

Root turned red, again, only this time it was more out of embarrassment. "She started it!" he said.

"Liar!" said River.

"Commander, sir, please come down and River, stop climbing the curtains!" said Holly. When they were both on the ground, she continued. "Now, what was that about?" she asked.

"He doesn't believe that I am taller than him!" said River.

"I'm clearly taller than her!" said Root.

"I have a measuring tape, I will find out!" said Butler. He measured both of them. "River, you are 111cm tall," he said. "Commander, you are 110cm tall. River is 1cm taller than you."

"Yes!" shouted River. "I told you so!"

"Please can you get on with the form now?" said Foaly.

"Fine," said Root. Everybody else left.

"Let's start again," said Commander Root, taking a deep breath. "What is your name?"

"River Fisher, what's your name?" replied River.

"I am Commander Root," said Root.

"What, so your mum was like, 'what should I call my kid? Bob, no, Steve, no, Alan, no. I know, I'll call him Commander!' or something?" said River. "What's your first name?"

"It doesn't matter," said Root. "Let's go onto the next question on the form."

"It does matter!" said River. "You have to tell me, so I can do Voodoo doll on you!" do

"I don't want you to do Voodoo on me!" said Root.

"If I promise not to do Voodoo, will you tell me your name?" asked River.

"Fine," said Root, realising that otherwise this could take forever. "My name is Julius, but you have to call me Commander Root."

"I lied! I will do Voodoo on you!" said River.

"Can you do Voodoo?" asked Root.

"No, actually I can't. Maybe we should move on,"

"Ok. How old are you?"

"11 years old. How old are you?"

"It doesn't matter. Are you going to tell people about us?"

"No. I think that is a stupid question. I mean, I'm hardly likely to say yes, am I? Give me the sheet; it will be quicker than talking."

Root handed over the sheet. "It's in Gnommish though," he said. "You can't read it."

River looked up. "I'm halfway through it," she said. After a minute, she handed it back. She had filled in all the spaces in Gnommish and had drawn in the margins. "Here you go, can I come to Haven now?" she asked.

Root read through the sheet. It was fine; she was no threat, but he didn't want to let her into Haven. But if he didn't then he would be breaking the law as she was allowed in. "You can come tomorrow. You will have to go to school though, as Foaly and Holly will be at work and I hear you are very disruptive," he finally said. River did a little dance.

"Yay! Bub bye Julius!" she said and ran out to tell Foaly. Root sighed. Soon the whole world would know about fairies at this rate, he thought.

A/N: I didn't like this chapter as much as the last. The laptop where my other stories were stored died, along with the starting of chapters for my other stories. I'm not going to update them until I've finished this one. Originally, they were going to sneak River down, but last night I imagined River annoying Root and I had to add it in. I'm quite near the end now. :( Artemis won't feature that much in the last few chapters, I'm sorry about that. Thanks for reviewing! Next time: stuff happens! Does anyone know how tall Root is? Actually, does anyone know how tall Foaly is? The fairies don't have rooms big enough for Butler to stand up in, but Foaly is probably as tall as him, so how does he fit? I mean, a person sitting on a horse is going to be pretty tall, and centaurs are like a person sitting on a horse. OH WELL!