Jim woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. Before he even opened his eyes, he cringed. He made himself sit up from his reclined position on the couch. He rubbed the knots out of his neck but wasn't so lucky with his back.
How'd he even get on the couch?
The phone kept ringing. He shoved himself up and shuffled to the offending piece of technology.
"Jim Gordon," he grumbled into the receiver.
"Ya know, for a Boy Scout, you really don't pay attention to attendance," Harvey's matter-of-fact tone answered him. Jim thought over his partner's words then squinted at the clock.
"Shit," he commented smartly.
"Uh huh. See ya in ten," with that Harvey hung up.
Jim threw on some clothes, and although the dress shirt was wrinkling, he thought it looked pretty okay. He accidentally grabbed his black coat while wearing navy blue trousers. He wasn't even going to think about his socks.
He hopped in his car and pushed the speed limit a few miles.
When he stepped into the G.C.P.D., the whole bullpen shot him a sideways glance. Jim smiled awkwardly and walked to his desk, catching Harvey's worried look. Jim collapsed in his black leather chair.
"Uh, Jim?," Harvey asked softly across their desks. Jim hummed in response. "What's up with you?" Jim opened his eyes to see his partner's eyebrows were drawn together. Jim closed his eyes again.
"I'm good, Harv. Quit worrying. Someone's gonna talk."
"Everyone in this goddamn place talks. The hell's going on, Jim? Where's Lee?" Jim sighed through his nose at the inevitable question.
"With her sister, or at least I think that's where she is," Jim answered softly.
"She has a sister?," Harvey asked, his perverted smirk playing on his lips.
"Yep," Jim popped the "p." "In Metropolis." Harvey scrunched his nose at that.
"Total bitch, huh?" Jim hummed in the affirmative. "Why is Lee there?"
"Just a visit," Jim answered, not even convincing himself.
"Jesus, Jim. I'm sorry," Harvey said, and he meant it too. Jim shrugged.
"No one wants to deal with all shit I go through except me. Just a matter of time before I'm retired and alone."
"You? Retired? That's a thought, ain't it?" Harvey didn't laugh at his joke, but Jim smiled.
"I'm gonna be ninety before I consider it."
Harvey chuckled at that.
"You'll get all the way to Commissioner and only pass on the baton to your son, James Gordon Jr." Jim laughed heartily.
"'Commissioner' doesn't mean 'King,' ya know."
"Neither does 'President' but look who's in office," Harvey grumbled. Jim chuckled again.
"Why do you hate Bush so much?," he asked.
"You don't wanna go there, kid," Harvey warned before taking a sip of his coffee. Ed appeared suddenly, as he usually does, with a strangely concerned look on his face.
"Detective?," Ed asked Jim, making sure he had his undivided attention before he continued.
"Yes, Ed?," Jim lifted his head from his chair and looked at the young man before him.
"May I inquire about the whereabouts of Dr. Thompkins?" Ed looked like a lost puppy.
"She's in Metropolis. Visiting her sister," Jim repeated.
"Is she-," Ed swallowed nervously. "Is she coming back?"
"Aw, the little nerd's gotta crush on the lady doctor. Told ya he'd steal her, Jim."
"I do not have a-a crush on Dr. Thompkins. I'm merely worried over my partner- in science!," he corrected quickly, not being able to stop the blush dusting his cheeks. Ed put his head down and scampered back to the medical examination room. As soon as Ed was out of earshot, Jim turned to Harvey.
"Why do ya gotta be such an ass to the kid?"
"Who, me?," Harvey asked, eyes full of pseudo-innocence. "Never harmed a hair on his little head." Jim gave him his trademark sneer. "And besides, that was a compliment. He's a real lady killer," Harvey chuckled at his own comment. Jim sighed moodily.
"I bet Ed would know how to make a woman stay."
"Wow, now you're makin me depressed. Maybe ladies just don't like ya, Jimbo."
"Thanks, Harv," Jim grumbled, with his sardonic smile.
"I'm just saying. With the way you and Penguin stare at each other, I wouldn't be surprised."
"What?"
Harvey sighed, "Nothing, Jim. Don't worry about it."
"Well, now I'm worrying about it," Jim said, finally sitting up fully and leaning his elbows on his desk.
"Jim," Harvey started clearly. "You know how Penguin feels about you. Has felt about you," he amended. "And I'm pretty sure everyone knows you have a soft spot for him." After a few moments of silence, and Jim retrieving his jaw from the floor, he continued, "if you wanna keep denying it for the rest of your life, then I'm not gonna stop ya. Just know that I support you either way."
Jim was, to say the least, shell-shocked. It didn't even sound like a joke from Harvey's tone, and this should've been a joke, right?
"I'm not gay, Harv," Jim exasperated.
"Who said ya were? I'm just saying 'live your life' and you're puttin' words in my mouth."
"Well, you're making me sound gay. Which I am not."
"Okay."
"I'm not gay, Harvey," he restated firmly, his voice feigning certainty.
"Okay," Jim's partner said again. Harvey opened the Manila folder containing the details of the most recent homicide of Gotham City. It was rather tame in comparison to the usual psychopaths' activities, and Harvey already had a guess as to who the murderer was. Of course, Harvey didn't really start analyzing it just then, knowing Jim's Quest For Truth by now.
"What on Earth persuaded you to believe that The Penguin has had romantic feelings towards me?"
"Interesting choice," Harvey said to profile before him. If Jim couldn't tell he was referring to him picking Penguin's feelings over his own protectiveness of the criminal, then that was on Jim.
"What?"
"Nothing," Harvey sighed. He looked up from the victim's discolored eyes and into Jim's blues. "He lights up when he sees you. You ever notice that?," he asked softly.
"So? He wants friends. I don't think he ever learned how to make any so he clings to possible friends," Jim broke his gaze and started clicking his pen. Harvey smiled at that.
"I've never seen anyone that happy to see a friend before." Jim stopped his clicking. "But, what do I know? He's a strange little guy, and he managed to become top dog in the crime world." Harvey shrugged. After a beat, Jim started clicking again.
Jim already knew Oswald liked him. Known it since the beginning. When Jim went out back that day at Fish Mooney's club, he saw the strange man and how his eyes roamed. It was a split second, but Jim knew enough to feel self-conscious. Penguin had looked happy to see him then too, almost, or maybe it the baseball bat with still-drying blood in his hands. That was the thing with Penguin; he was a double-sided time-bomb.
When he strutted (with a limp) into Barbara's apartment, he had a grin of triumph at seeing Jim again. A small, very small, part of Jim that day was relieved to see him too. He was okay- and alive so Jim could not be fairly arrested for a crime that didn't even happen.
Even after that, Jim still got special treatment. But why?
Jim reached into his pocket and grabbed the gift from Oswald. He set it on his desk for Harvey to see. Harvey's eyebrows went up.
"What's that, Jim?," he asked across their desks.
"A gift from my little Cobblepot," Jim said with a pseudo-sweet tone, then scowled. Harvey chuckled.
"Aw, he proposed and you said yes. What a sucker; never took ya as the marrying type, Jim. Actually, scratch that. You look like the divorcing type to me," Harvey laughed again.
"What the hell does that mean?," Jim asked, annoyed that everyone knew so damn much about penguins and their love lives.
"C'mon, Jim that's like... first grade stuff. Penguins give the purdiest rock they find and give it to their honeys. It's not any different than a ring for us." Harvey pointed at the rock then leaned in conspicuously, "you got Penguin'ed."
"Can you do me a favor and never fucking say that again?," Jim said flatly. Harvey bursted out laughing. "Seriously, Harv, what the hell am I gonna do?"
"About Penguin? Just play along with it to make him happy. I doubt he'll try anything stupid. Hell, he probably doesn't know how romantics work anyhow."
"I don't want to be in a relationship with him, real to me or not."
"Well, suck it up, Buttercup. If you break his heart and he doesn't wanna help us catch the other bad guys, then we're shit outta luck. You gotta pretend to like him for Gotham, Jim. It's gonna be like Henry VIII and Catherine; ya gotta marry so France and Spain don't blow the other up."
"Henry VIII was the king of England," Jim corrected with a furrowed brow.
"Whatever. Just be nice to the guy. Deal?" Jim thought over the suggestion.
"As long as you start being nice to Ed, then sure," Jim proposed nonchalantly.
"I am nice to the kid," Harvey argued. Jim gave him a blank stare. "Alright, alright, I'll try," he relented. "But if he sneaks up on me one more time, I'm gonna lose it." Jim smiled at the memory.
"Do you like video games?"
"Ed, don't ever do that again."
AN: pseudo means fake for anyone curious.
Obviously I gotta develop Jim's feelings through this whole ordeal.
Idk what I'm gonna do with Ed.
I'm honestly not sure where to take the Gobblepot-ness now though. I do have ideas but they're probs stupid:
1. Oswald asks Ivy to turn him into a woman- one night stand with Jim- Oswald lays an egg :0!
2. Jim visits Lee every weekend borrowing penguin's money, in return Jim has to pay him with kisses (escalates)
3. Literal dates? Like traditional build up?
It would mean the world to me to hear your input BC I'm writing it for y'all after all.