Gawain settled back against the cool of the stones. Galahad twirled a strip of dry meat, thinking and unconsciously humming softly. Gawain closed his eyes and focused on observing the boy sitting next to him. He knew that the humming meant Galahad was deep in thought, most likely trying to make sense of things. It didn't make sense, Gawain would be the first to admit; his attachment to Agravaine didn't make sense with what he had just told the boy. He snorted at that thought. Galahad was not a boy – far from it, in fact; but he would always be a boy to Gawain. It was that boy that Gawain sought to protect from everything and wondered if Agravaine had viewed him the same way – as the always younger brother to watch over… He shrugged. The question no longer mattered since Agravaine was no longer… Shaking his head and tapping it lightly against the stone just to feel the solid against his skull, securing him to this world, he cleared his throat.

"I know it is not much of a start and probably less brotherly or, well, even just less friendly than you thought it would be." Gawain looked at Galahad for confirmation, though he didn't truly need to see the latter nod agreement to know he'd been right. "It was just how it was. How Agravaine was."

"How long did it go on like that, Gawain?" Galahad's voice was quiet, as if he were almost afraid to hear the answer.

Gawain drew in a breath and pursed his lips, slowly releasing the air as he thought. "If I had to guess, Gal, I would say that it went on being…well, not a close brotherly relationship for probably a year or more." Galahad choked in disbelief and Gawain simply nodded. "I told you, Gal, Agravaine was not…friendly. It isn't that he wasn't well liked – he was, ask anyone. He was just, well, hard to get to know."

Galahad drew in a deep breath. He was getting more confused as the tale went on. How, on all the plains of Sarmatia, could Gawain be so attached to someone who seemed so different from him? Maybe Agravaine was this great Knight and warrior who taught Gawain everything he knew, but how did that warrant such loyalty, such friendship, such love?

"He was hard to get to know until you got to know him. I don't know how to explain it any better, Galahad. It was just…how he was. He told me once that he didn't let anyone get to close because, well, you just never knew how long anyone was going to actually be here – including you. The next battle could be your last. Or the next fight in the mess, if one of the Romans or locals got it into their head to take on a Knight. You just didn't know and so it helped to keep a distance."

Gawain stopped talking to take a drink and gnaw at some bread.

"Then…I don't understand…"

Gawain looked up questioningly. Galahad was beginning to wonder what he was not seeing about this Knight. Apparently, it made perfect sense to Gawain, but Galahad was still baffled. "What was it that everyone liked? I mean, if everyone admired him and looked up to him and all that…how? If no one got close to him, how could they know enough to like him? And why? He doesn't seem very…" Galahad let his voice trail off, not wanting to provoke Gawain by insulting his mentor.

Gawain laughed. "They knew he was not someone to cross. Which would mean that he should have been feared; and he was, in a way. He was incredibly loyal, probably too loyal sometimes so that he didn't always try to see both sides of stories before making his judgment and taking action." Gawain shook his head, obviously remembering a time or two that this had come into play. "But that loyalty, that fierceness…it's hard to explain, Gal. Those things seemed to attract everyone to him, made you want to be close to him. I guess you had to experience Agravaine to understand. And, unfortunately, that was an opportunity you never had…" Gawain's voice trailed off.

"Tell me then. You said he used to talk to you about everything, so tell me what he told you. What he talked to you about."

Gawain gave a small, half-hearted laugh. "That would take more time than we have, Gal. Much more time than we have."

"Then tell me what would help me know him best. There had to have been things that made him Agravaine. Like what you said about him not letting people get too close."

Gawain let out a deep breath. "That's true. He didn't believe in getting too close to anyone, which, I don't understand why he let me get so close…but he did." Gawain's voice trailed off again and Galahad decided to let him be. Maybe a pause to think would bring the words forward again.

Patience was rewarded when Gawain again picked up the narrative.

"He disapproved of Bors and Vanora. Not so much of them being together, but when Vanora was with their first child, Agravaine didn't approve at all. He thought it was a bad idea – families that is." The perplexed look on Galahad's face told Gawain that more explanation was necessary. "Agravaine didn't disapprove of families; he was very much looking forward to having a family of his own one day – just not here, not while he was a Knight in service to Rome. He didn't think it was a good idea for any of us. 'The less ties you have to anyone here, the better, Gawain.' He used to tell me that a lot when he thought I was getting a bit too close to any one woman. 'They will distract you without meaning to. While you are on that battlefield, while you are riding to battle, you need your focus there; on what is happening, not here on some fight you had with her or straining to return because she is carrying your child. Those are not things that make for a Knight his brothers can depend on.' Was he right? I don't know. I don't think Bors is any less dependable than any of the rest of us. But Agravaine did. To him it was always a question of where Bors' focus really lay."

"And he actually said this to Bors?"

Gawain nodded.

"And to Van?"

Gawain nodded again.

"Agravaine was not known for keeping his opinions to himself very well. I mean, he could, but he usually chose not to."

Galahad was incredulous. "He told both of them how he felt about them having children and lived?" Galahad laughed, knowing that had it been anyone else, either Bors or Van would have put them in their place quicker than…well…before the offender would likely have even finished talking.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, Gawain. I don't mean to laugh, but I am trying to imagine how Agravaine managed to tell them that he thought they were wrong and survive, to be honest."

"Well, I suppose it helped that the other Knights were standing there as well. Though Agravaine wouldn't have cared if Bors or Van tried to come after him, truthfully." Gawain shrugged. "It was his opinion, he was going to say it and he didn't care what you thought about it."

Galahad was still impressed that this man had said something like that to Vanora and somehow managed to live. "Did it cause an argument?" Galahad was truly anxious to know how, not so much Bors, but Vanora had reacted.

Gawain cleared his throat. "If you chose to argue his opinion, he would be happy to argue it. If you chose to take a swing at him, that was fine with him as well. Just remember that though you started it, he would finish it; and it didn't matter much if you were man or woman. Taking a swing at Agravaine, in his eyes, meant he was defending himself, and it didn't matter who you were. The only thing that mattered was that he was going to finish the fight and be the one walking away, not being carried to the healer." He focused on Galahad; not at all surprised by the shock he saw register on the younger's face.

"You mean that, if for whatever reason, some woman took a swing at him, he would…well, he would… Come on, Gawain. That doesn't seem right. I mean, you've already said he was as big as Dag and I can't imagine Dag taking a swing at a woman, defense or not." Galahad was perplexed. "It would…he would seriously injure her."

"Yeah."

Gawain's response was so dry, so matter-of-fact, it made Galahad shiver. Somehow he knew that this had been demonstrated on at least one occasion.

"If you must know Galahad, yes, it was demonstrated on a couple occasions. It wasn't as though he sought the fight, it just seemed… It was well-known that Agravaine was not someone to irritate, as I've said. And, well, some people as you know, have to find out firsthand – cannot accept being told." Gawain shrugged, took another drink and picked up a piece of bread. "But you see, Galahad, he wasn't going out, finding people to beat up or anything. And he would never have abused a woman just to abuse her. I saw him step into and stop things like that, just like any of us would. He just…well…when, in his mind, Agravaine felt he was defending himself, he did whatever that meant, no matter who you were." Gawain stopped, sensing he hadn't helped Galahad any, but not knowing what else to say.

Galahad sat, pulling apart some dried meat and Gawain could tell he was thinking hard on how what he'd just been told fit into place. The latter could only shake his head, knowing the confusing, contradicting image being conjured in the former's mind.

Looking up from the strips he'd teased into fragments, Galahad looked past Gawain into the night. "I have to tell you Gawain, the more I hear, the less I think I would have liked or been liked by Agravaine and I don't quite understand how you and he managed to become brothers. You are nothing like that, like him…"

Galahad's voice trailed off at the snort and laugh from Gawain.

"What?"

"Are you certain on that, Gal?"

Galahad peered at his brother, not certain what Gawain was getting at. He knew Gawain; knew that his brother was one of the biggest push-over's in the collection of Knights. Well, unless it was Lancelot that he was dealing with, but even then, Galahad knew of many times he'd thought Lancelot had gone too far and Gawain would surely beat him into bloody unconsciousness, only to have Gawain suddenly stop and simply walk away.

As Galahad's concentration deepened, his eyebrows rose unconsciously and he looked to his brother for clarification. Gawain simply shrugged and smiled slightly.

Quietly he added, "I was not always the calm Knight sitting here next to you. Trust me, Galahad; I have made my share of mistakes. Besides, if you have not noticed by now, I will tell you that very often, it is not who you are but rather who you are with that matters." Gawain sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That was also among the first lessons, Gal. Always be aware of who you are with and, more importantly, how they are perceived – it could mean an evening of peace or an evening of fights. It could also be the difference between being alive or dead." Gawain focused on Galahad. "Why did you think the Romans left you alone with such little trouble and continued to leave you alone, at least more alone than some of the others?" He added when Galahad began to protest.

Galahad shrugged. He hadn't truly thought about it. He'd just been grateful for Gawain's intervention and continued watchfulness during those months that he'd still been trying to adjust to life at the fort.

Gawain leaned in. "It was because they knew that Agravaine had been my teacher and that the student did not stray far from the lessons. I will say it again, Galahad; they knew Agravaine was not someone to cross and so they knew – or at least thought – that I was the same and I did not try to discourage those thoughts. Likewise, when I stood for you and began teaching you, they assumed that you would be like me…which would make you similar to Agravaine. Do you see now, Galahad? Does it make sense?"

Galahad bobbed his head. It was clear now. He hadn't thought it through this way, but it made sense. Whether a correct perception or not, it was still the best one that the Romans or locals had to go by without actually taking the risk and finding out for themselves. He felt rather sheepish that he had not noticed or figured this out before tonight.

"Don't worry, Gal. Agravaine had to explain it to me as well. I guess I just, well, I just figured you would figure it out. You seemed to figure lots of things out and so I guess I just…I guess I shouldn't have. Sorry."

Gawain looked away, obviously bothered by what he felt to be a shortcoming in his brothering skills.

Galahad smiled, leaning over to punch him in the shoulder. Gawain looked up, puzzled.

"Well then, brother," Galahad dragged out 'brother', sounding much like Arthur in his tendency to drag out the Sarmatian names, "you have gravely overestimated me. It would seem you have plenty to tell and little time to do it in. I highly suggest you get talking."

A/N: Well...now it's on to the rough going. Gawain isn't back from his "extended sabbatical" and I am outta pre-written. If you see the big lug, send him back - please. Thanks.