Chapter 10: Letting Go

Jackie lay in bed, wondering what was wrong with this picture. When she fell asleep, she could've sworn that Vince was laying underneath her. Not that she minded that much, but what she did mind was the strange feeling she was currently experiencing. She missed him.

Oh boy. Not this shit again.

It had been a while since Jackie had ever let anyone in her life be missed. Not her parents, not her old friends. None of them. She kept her heart in an iron clad chest that only had love for her cousins and brothers. The only ones that mattered. But now V was in the picture and even though she had heard the stories and had gotten a stern warning from Hector, she wanted him to become a permanent part of her life. But why she wanted him so bad next to her, she didn't understand. And she didn't want to know either.

It's better than way. So when things go south, it'll be easier to let go and move on.

She climbed out of the bed and found the pants she was wearing the previous night. She fished her cell phone out of it and sighed, checking the several missed calls she had. She hesitated before placing a call she knew would make the rest of her day living hell. She paced the room as the phone rang, trying to put her life back together little by little.

"Hey."

"Sorry, I got caught up last night."

"No, we didn't sleep together. He took me over to Toretto's house. There was a party and we just chilled there."

"Nothing crazy or unusual. Everyone except Dom seemed to be there."

"I have no clue where he was or is. Everyone except him spent the entire night there."

"I'm sure of it. I spent the entire night with Vince and Letty. And if there was something going on there, I would've known. They're his partner in crimes in everything."

"Yeah. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"By the way, someone broke into my house last night and trashed it."

"Could be some jealous tramp because of Vince. Or maybe it's one of the many hoodlums that are in this neighborhood. You couldn't have picked a better location to shack me up in?"

"Yeah, location and appearances are everything. But if Eric can live in the suburbs, I think you could've taken it up a step from this rat infested hell hole you got me in."

"Whatever. I'm gonna clean up and then try to put some work in. I have to keep up with my shitty life."

Jackie shut her cell phone and placed it on the nightstand before flopping down onto the bed. She could faintly still smell him and she sighed.

Letting go won't be as easy as I thought.

Vince walked behind the shop and found Leon stretched out on a bench, tanning himself of course.

"You ever figure that your brain will dry out?" Vince said, sitting down on an old tire against the wall.

Leon shrugged and sat up, glancing over at him. "Letty tans every day. She's still up and around. I figure I can make it if she can too."

The two friends sat in silence, starring up at the darkening sky. Leon watched as V passed his cell phone from hand to hand, looking hesitant about himself. "So…. When are you gonna call her?" Le said, sliding into his shirt.

V flipped his head towards him and scowled. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that fine piece of ass called Jackie. You know, the one you've been drooling over since you met her. The one that got you to strip in public."

"I haven't been drooling. I've just been showing her a good time. She's Hector's cousin and I don't wanna piss him off. That'll fuck up everything we got going with him and the races."

Leon scoffed and shook his head. "You're such a horrible liar, V. You've fallen for this chick hard bodied. You want her and you just need to admit it. You wanna fuck her and that's about it."

V shook his head and stared down at his cell phone. He had been staring at it ever since he left Jackie's apartment. He had been silently wishing it would ring and that her name would pop up on the screen.

"The thing is…. Dom thinks she's a cop."

"And?"

"He wants me to pull a Spilner. Make her fall for me and then get the real dirt on her. Just how Brian did to Mia."

"I still don't see the problem here. You can spot a cop a mile away. If she was a cop, you would've called her out on in at the races."

"Yeah, I don't think she's a cop. She's Hector cousin. If he knew anything about her, he would've given us a heads up. Plus, I don't get the cop vibe from her."

"And?"

"I sort of like her."

"Aww shit.." Leon whispered, shaking his head softly. "So let me get this straight. Instead of her falling for you, you've fallen for her. Oh boy, does Dom know this?"

V shook his head and groaned, running a hand over his face.

"Shit, you better get your head out of your ass, Vince, before this all blows up in your face."

"What do you suggest I do, all mighty one?"

"I think you need to get your shit together. Find out once and for all if this chick is a cop before she gets under your skin. I personally like her, she's a combination of Mia and Letty. The parts I like and can actually stand. Plus, she makes you happy. Just don't fuck up and get us all caught."

"Yeah, easier than it sounds."

Leon stood up and headed for the door. "No, what's easier than it sounds is you calling the girl. It's what you really wanna be doing, brotha," he said, slapping him on the back before disappearing inside.

Vince stared at the phone in his hand and sighed. Leon was right. He couldn't beat around the bush any more, he needed to clear the air once and for all. He needed to find out if she was a cop or not, for his sanity. He opened the phone and began to dial her digits, feeling the weight lifting off of his shoulders the closer and closer he got to hitting the call button.

Before he dialed the last number, he shut the phone, growling. I don't wanna ruin the best thing I have going for me right now. I could confront her, she'll deny it. Then she'll be suspicious of me. She'll probably tell me to kick rocks and she'll never lay eyes on me again. Fuck! Why me? Why didn't Dom assign this shitty job to Leon? Jesus Christ! She's a fucking job now. Fuck!

Vince opened his cell phone again and stood up, looking through his phone book for a number of a trusted friend. One he knew he could depend on.

"Hey, I got a job to do. I don't wanna get my hands dirty. This is a personal one."

He needed to let go of the weight on his shoulders. He needed to let go of the doubt in his mind. In his heart.

Letty flopped down on to Vince's bed, feeling the mattress squeaking in protest. She sighed and began to settle in for the night, wondering where the fuck V was. She didn't miss him, if anything right now all she wanted to do was be alone. Alone with the smells that reminded her of what used to be home- car grease, cologne, cigarettes, beer, Lysol, sex and sweat.

She could remember fondly the one time her and Mia went to Mexico for two weeks without the boys. Letty felt like she was gonna lose her mind in the sparkling, clean hotel. She felt like the fresh, crisp ocean air was melting away at her lungs. All she wanted to do was be back home, where the air smelled like memories. Where each stain in the carpet or couch was a story. Where each dent in the wall would speak of a party or a crazy moment during which the boys fought, only to be back to being best friends within the hour.

In the darkness of Vince's bedroom she ran her hands across her belly, pondering a shitload of what-ifs. In her mind, she played out different scenarios for every turning point in her life. She began to doubt herself, she began to regret some of her decisions.

This is what it has come down to. Me in a shitty basement. Sharing a room with a grown ass man, that sleeps on the floor. This is what my life is. I'm nearing 30 in a few more years and I have accomplished nothing. My entire life revolves around Dominic Toretto and whatever he wants to do. Work. Race. Drink until I can barely breathe on my own. One abortion under your belt. Good job, Nicolette. I'm sure your mother is turning in her grave as we speak. Ugh.

Letty thought about all the times when she was little and could remember herself talking about getting married and having tons of kids. How her and Do would barbecue as a family. The guys would come over, Mia would bake a cake or a pie. But instead she was stuck and she didn't see an out anywhere in sight.

She shifted in the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, sighing sadly. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep. But just like the night before, she couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing a 100 miles a minutes and her heart felt heavy.

She needed to let go.