I would first like to thank everyone who has read this story and responded. I can't express how grateful I am, and how nice it is to know I'm not simply yelling into the void. I don't know if I'll ever write another NicoMaki story again, but considering I felt the same after In the Morning, I make no promises either way. I really do love these two.
All of the quotes used before the chapters in this story were from novels I read when I was writing this fic. Each of them helped center me. I'd recommend them all (Samantha Harvey's "Dear Thief" the most, considering it kicked me into high gear to write this), with the heads-up that none of them are lesbian/yuri related.
This fic means a ton to me, and I'm glad that I can finally bring it to a close.
Enjoy~
"...It's different now...this is my perception but she is present within it or spread throughout it. I sense her, feel her, I know that she occupies something within me that allows these moments to happen."
Zero K - Don Delillo
Not too long after, with the moon still in the same place, with the dark of the night still the same shade of rural indigo, they arrived at last at the ostentatious manor Maki had seen before from the pier at the shore. It loomed large up close, not menacingly but imposing, a building built to be noticed. Bright lights hidden skillfully behind hedges lit up the face of the hotel. From their position by the door Maki couldn't read the name emblazoned atop the building in gold lettering, yelling for all the world to see who created this city structure in a dying town. Side by side they walked through the ornate double doors and through to the grand lobby. Maki looked at the expensive interior: the polished oak walls, the taught leather seats and heavy oak desks and the impeccably clean patterned rug; it all seemed very Fitzgerald to her. Some low-volume swing was even drifting in from speakers hidden around the room. It was a far cry from the traditional Japanese home they'd only just left. The difference gave Maki a kind of perceptive vertigo, as if she'd crossed time and space on the short night stroll with Nico.
While Maki was taking in the sights, Nico took initiative and marched to the concierge desk. There was a young woman behind it, the only staff in sight, and she wore a very clean, well designed uniform like she was proud to do so. Her shoulder-length gray hair appeared natural, not the product of aging or stress or coloring, but the cloud color of a salty sea storm. Clipped to her ample chest was a name-tag reading Watanabe You.
"Reservation for two under Yazawa, please." Nico cut right to the chase in an otherwise excited tone.
"Yazawa?" the woman repeated. She bent her head to study the computer screen. The machine was out of place in the out-of-time room. Maki walked over and stood beside Nico. She glanced at the leather-banded golden watch on her left wrist.
"Ah, got it!" You beamed. "It turns out that you were upgraded, free of charge, to our exclusive suite! What a deal!"
The doctor turned to Nico disappointedly. "Was this the surprise? Showing off how rich you are isn't very you, Nico." she looked questioningly at the woman behind the desk. "Did she put you up to this?"
"No, no, the hotel itself was my surprise. I had no clue about any room upgrades or anything. And you know as well as I do that I rarely check my emails." Nico crossed her arms. "Geeze, just what do you think of me, Maki?"
"It's not a mistake?" The doctor asked the concierge.
"Nope! So if you'll follow me, I'll take you up to our best room."
The women trailed behind You in the oddly silent lobby until they reached the elevator. Although its bright blinking buttons spoke to some sort of modernity, the interior of the elevator matched the aesthetic of the rest of the hotel with its polished cherry-wood walls and gilded accents. Above the opening to the door was a counter for the floors that looked like it came straight from the American 1920's. A gleaming golden gate unfolded accordion-style where a door would be before the elevator rose smoothly to the top floor. They stepped out of the elevator car into a carpeted hallway, and the concierge woman lead Nico and Maki down towards an ornate wooden door.
"This is our best room, and it's almost always booked. You guys are really lucky!" she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small plastic key-card, and then handed it to Nico. "Enjoy!" she beamed. Maki turned to watch her walk back to the elevator, but Nico gripped her hand and pulled her into the room.
Maki couldn't fight the smile on her face when she took in the sight of their beautiful suite. If the lobby was fancy, this was downright excessive. All of the furniture was well-crafted and hand-stitched, set with golden accents inlaid in the sofa and the armchair, and bordering the long coffee table in between the furniture. Small marble sculptures decorated the tops of narrow shelving along the walls. The floor was covered in something so soft and white Maki almost didn't want to call it something as mundane as a carpet, and all this lent the room a luxurious vibe. Off to one side of the main sitting room was a furnished kitchenette, and on the other side a bedroom, which was where Maki headed first. The bed frame was like a king's; it sat on sturdy oak legs with a wide half-circle headboard detailed with hand-carved angels. Aside from the bed there was a closet where Nico carelessly threw her belongings and a marble-floored bathroom where Maki spied a combination bathtub/jacuzzi along with a glass-walled shower stall. She had the burning urge to thank Nico for all of this, or to push her up against the rich mahogany wall and devour her ceaselessly in the place of thanks.
"This place is alright." she said instead.
"What a way to top the night, eh?" Nico asked, already heading into the bathroom. She held a change of clothes in one hand, something sheer and lacy and creamy white. Maki's face grew warm, uncomfortably so. She coughed to ignore it. "Even in the hight of my touring days, I hardly ever stayed in a place this fancy."
She closed the door behind her and Maki grew anxious. In her own luggage she'd packed a few risqué articles Kotori had hand-picked for just this vacation ("You're going to be embarrassed, but you have to tell me exactly what Nico is attracted to in you if we're going to pick out pieces that accentuate those features." Kotori had said softly but sternly). But she had been hoping to save those for their long nights in Okinawa.
Maki walked over to the plush bed and sat on the corner, and it sunk fabulously beneath her. She wondered, not for the first time that day, how her patients were faring back at the hospital. She could still smell the anti-septic hallways if she closed her eyes. She could still hear the beeping monitors if she strained her ears. But this was her vacation, and Maki wanted nothing more than to be living in the moment. She listened instead to the hard impacts of water pelting the glass shower stall muffled through the wooden door. Nico's singing voice carried over that, cutting right through the air; it was part of a routine Maki was used to by now, just one more Nico-induced change in her life.
Nowadays her apartment was homey. Lively, even - still neat and clean but stained in places with the colorful messes of life. At any time Maki might find a sandal on its side by the front door, or some idol magazine opened and dog-eared on the same living room table where she used to have her lonely meals, or a blanket Nico had wrapped around herself strewn on the piano bench like a shed cocoon. There weren't only stains of life, but lovely, messy sounds, too. Nico liked to sing during showers or during chores or when she cooked - she called these free shows - and the previously mute kitchen was now so often ringing with the music of clanking pans and running water, rhythmic knife chops and sizzling food. Maki loved these little songs of life, though she'd never tell Nico. They still didn't live together, not officially, although Nico spent the majority of the week at Maki's apartment. The former idol told Maki that she wanted to be there for her family and help raise little Cotaro, at least until he was just a bit older. Maki couldn't find it in herself to argue against something so pure and responsible.
The rattling of the doorknob returned Maki from her imaginative wanderings. She looked up, fingers fidgeting, to see Nico learning against the door frame with a challenging grin waiting for Maki to speak. She wore a cream-white slip that ended barely past the top of her thighs, the thin spaghetti straps all that saved it from falling to the floor in a puddle of silk. It was hemmed at the bottom with a tantalizing lace pattern. The swell of Nico's breasts pushed tight against the thin material, and the whole thing conformed, nearly traced, her every curve. Maki gulped. She couldn't control herself. Her reaction was physical, visceral - all blood and heat, a violent spreading in her flesh. She turned her cherry head and wound a lock of hair around her finger. She heard Nico chuckle, a throaty and alluring sound, but didn't look up.
"We only have this place for a night, Maki." Nico said.
"That's a new slip. Where'd you get it?"
Nico, now standing before Maki, twirled her body side to side. "You like it?"
"...It's, uh, it's nice."
"That particular shade of red coloring your cheeks says that you think something else."
"N-Nico - "
Like a heart attack there was a knock at the door. Both women turned at once towards the sound. Maki looked Nico up and down; there was no way she was letting anyone else see Nico the way that she was allowed to see Nico. She shook her head.
"You can't go out like that. Wait here."
At the door Maki peered through the peephole. The concierge from earlier waited cheerfully in the hallway. Her head was distorted by the fish-hole lens like something in a funhouse mirror. After smoothing her clothes down and trying her best to hide her blush, Maki opened the door.
"Yes?"
"This is for you, courtesy of the owner!" the woman held out a deep green bottle of wine dripping with condensation, in a tall cylindrical ice bucket. In her other hand she held an envelope.
"No, wait" she shook her hand in the air back and forth as if dismissing the very thought from the air between them. "Before we accept anything, what's the catch? We've never met the owner. Why are we getting all of his free. high-class treatment?"
"I don't know - I just do my job the best I can! But the owner is a really nice woman. Maybe that's it?"
"Nice or not - "
"Just accept the gifts, Maki." Nico yelled from the other room.
The doctor's face grew red as an image of Nico flashed in her head. "...Fine. Thank you."
"Enjoy your stay!" You saluted like a naval officer, and then left for the elevator.
"Pass it here." Nico ordered when Maki re-entered the room. Maki placed the wine carefully on the floor and handed Nico the envelope. Bordered in a faux-gold filigree and without any kind of writing indicating what it was, the envelope only furthered the mystery. She pulled out a card from the inside, noting that somehow even the paper felt luxurious. It was folded over itself. A cursive English word was written on the top in gold lettering that Maki could barely read. It said, she thought, 'Salutations'.
Maki leaned over Nico's shoulder. "Open it." she said.
"I am, I am. Have some patience."
"That's rich, coming from you."
"I bet someone recognized my name and is giving me the proper treatment an idol - or a former idol - deserves."
"Just open it, Nico."
The woman did as Maki said. Written in girlish hand, gold lettered as if the words themselves were worth something, was a short message written in Japanese.
"Enjoy your room, your wine, and your vacation!
Try not to mess up the bed and the sheets - too - much!
With Love,
Mari Ohara"
"O-ohara? Nico, this is one of the hotels her family owns? You didn't know that?"
"There's gotta be, like, a bunch of Ohara's out there! I just booked a room. I didn't make the connection!"
Maki held her head in her hands. "This is beyond embarrassing."
"She's got no tact, I tell you." Nico complained, pinching the bridge of her nose.
Maki flicked the card onto the bedside table. Yet again, she was reminded of work - it was as if there wasn't anywhere she could go to relax. She loved her job, but she believed that time away was important; absence made the heart grow fonder, or at least sucked away some of the pooled frustrations.
Nico, she noticed when she finally looked up, was pouring them both glasses of wine. She held two long-stemmed glasses in her hand that Maki figured must have came from the kitchenette somewhere.
"Thanks." she nodded, before taking a long sip from the glass. Through dry, the wine had a rich flavor that coated her tongue. The deep rich color was blood-like, the same blackish-red that traveled up syringes and filled up test-tubes. She tried to clear her mind of work once and for all, but instead the thought of blood changed to conjure memories of the rush of heat to her cheeks, to her palms, to her lower body, from when Nico had walked out of the bathroom. Her face flushed again. The smaller woman seemed to notice, and she approached Maki after a final gulp of the wine.
"Where were we, earlier?" she asked. Her long, lithe fingers were already trailing Maki's collarbone, the curve along her throat, the taught plain near her collarbone that lead to the hills and valley of her breasts. Nico's touch was feather light, ghostly, but the trail behind it was full of destruction - an earthquake following a volcano, all heat and trembling.
Maki bit her own lip, then pulled Nico in by the back of the neck and crashed their lips together. Nico was all but straddling her now, and Maki felt a wonderful kind of heat on her thigh She ignored her own hypocrisy over patience. Patients. She didn't want to think about either on this vacation. All she wanted was this.
But there was a buzzing. Far too close there was a buzzing, a hard rumbling that interrupted the kisses, the touches, like a mosquito might.
"Nico - Nico, your phone is going off." Maki pushed the woman back lightly. "Do something about it, please. So that - "
"Yeah, yeah. Geeze Maki, we've got all night!" she laughed. Maki studied the view when Nico bent down low to get to the bedside table. Nico adjusted the hem of her slip with a hand, and checked the phone with the other.
"I, uh, I have to take this. I'll be right back - it won't be long. Promise." Nico held up a finger, then walked into the other room. Once again, all Maki could make out were low tones, harried, hurried, and hushed. On the plush bed alone, left like a barely-begun puzzle, she grew cold where only moments before she was on fire. To want to express her desire in fumbling actions and forced-out words was hard enough; to be left waiting, to feel as if she was the only one there desiring anything, filled her with embarrassment like lead in her belly. She clenched the duvet in her fists and waited.
Not much time passed before Nico returned, phone clutched at her side and then thrown, forgotten, onto the bedside table by the torn envelope.
"Sorry, sorry - but now you have my full attention." she said. She approached Maki, but the doctor drew back and glared.
"I don't want it. What I want is to know what's so important and secretive about these calls you've been taking. You've had 3 of them in barely over a day. What's going on, Nico?"
"Whoa, wait - there's nothing to accuse me of, I was - "
"I don't want excuses. Tell me the truth. I trust you." Maki let that settle between them, stone heavy. "Be honest, Nico."
A year ago Maki may have simply shut the woman out and left her there. Even after she knew she loved Nico, Maki felt that trust mattered, in some instances, more than love. That she was giving Nico the benefit of the doubt at all struck Maki as some kind of strange and new side to herself - a side she didn't even know she'd developed.
The other woman closed her scarlet eyes and then visibly deflated. When she looked back at Maki again it was with an expression the doctor never though she'd see on Nico's face: embarrassment. Shame. Guilt.
"Promise not to get mad?"
"Not a chance. I absolutely reserve the right to get angry. If you've - if you've ever - "
"I would never cheat on you, Maki, if that's what you're getting at. Idols are faithful. They're loyal. I'm faithful and loyal."
"...Then explain what's been happening." the ice floes in Maki's blood collided and crashed, and she tried ignore the chill in her chest.
"A few weeks ago," Nico began, "An old idol friend of mine called. Said she and another idol I knew were going to be starting their own production agency - you know, a kind of 'by idols for idols' kind of thing, and they wanted to know if I wanted to be signed as the company's first idol. The face of the franchise, so to speak."
Maki crossed her arms over her chest. She never once removed her glaring eyes from Nico, who looked back directly at her. Maki couldn't decide if she found this challenging or repentant. "Go on."
"Anyway, I turned them down. But Honoka - that's the first girl - she's persistent, if nothing else." Nico rolled her eyes, then leaned against the wall across from the bed. Maki pondered the gulf between them. When did reality end and metaphor begin? "She called me back about being a third partner when I said no to joining as an idol. She called a few days later about making me a casting director. After that it was a trainer. A choreographer. A dance instructor. A scouting agent. There were, like, a thousand things she listed off. Just now she offered me a job as a secretary." Nico shook her head. "I'm not sure what's next. A janitor? As if."
"I don't understand. If you said no, sternly and unequivocally, then why - "
Once more Nico looked away in that very un-Nico show of guilt. She wrung her hands. "Unequivocally is a strong word. I probably could've been...firmer, I guess."
Maki's blood boiled. She stood up from the bed, clenching her firsts at her sides. She swallowed hard. "So you lied about all that stuff earlier this afternoon when you mentioned how happy you were with your new job. Is that it?"
Nico took a step closer. Maki took one back. "No - no, don't get me wrong. I meant every word I said, but - "
"But."
"How do I explain it?" she put a hand under a chin and looked at the floor thoughtfully. Maki pouted more, as if to make up for how cute her traitorous heart still managed to find Nico in the moment. The warm yellow light coming from the lamp on the bedside table was beginning to hurt the doctor's eyes. She could feel a headache coming on. "It's like this," Nico started again. "Your dad's retired, right?"
"Yeah? You know that."
"Well, I'm sure he's very happy to relax and be with your mom everyday. But don't you think he's glad whenever you call him for a consultation? Or when a conference asks him to speak? Or when a university requests him as a professor to teach for a semester? Or, hey- what about Umi? If she was asked to help train someone for the next Olympics, don't you think she'd at least consider it?"
"...What are you getting at?" Maki narrowed her eyes.
"It's just really nice, you know, to feel like all that time you spent in your life to master something matters." Nico's eyes shifted from Maki to the floor, and then back to the doctor's. "I spent 10 years as an idol, Maki. Very nearly a third of my life and that's not even counting all the time I spent gushing over idols, or following them, or daydreaming about being one. I really am happy working in the hospital. I really am happy working with you. But being asked for my knowledge and advice and expertize is hard to totally turn down, you know? To get to feel like an idol for just one more day."
Maki pinched the bridge of her nose. She frowned, but much of her anger had disappeared. Its remnants settled in her stomach like flakes of rust. Tiredly, she asked "So what was your plan? how long were you going to keep it up?"
"I could say 'not much longer', but I'm not going to lie to you, Maki. I didn't have a plan. I was just going to...I don't know! I was just going to give her a real 'no' at some point, before it went on forever."
"I shouldn't be surprised that forward thinking isn't your strong suit."
"Don't insult my intelligence."
"Don't pout like a child, then. Or get yourself into situations like this." Maki stood up and ran a hand through her hair. She crossed the room in slow steps and then wrapped her arms around Nico, pulling her in tightly. "I...understand how it must've made you feel. But you have to consider me in these things too, now. We're together in this. In everything."
Nico chuckled into her shoulder. "Now you sound like a spoiled princess."
"I'm selfish when it comes to the people I love." Maki released a breath and then let the other woman go. It'd been a long day - all of the walking, all of the emotional turmoil, all of the surprises filled her with a fatigue that seemed to finally reach a breaking point. Maki felt it all storing up, all stacking in her bones and muscles, a mental weight with physical weariness. Life with Nico, even a year into the relationship, tired her out even though she did, ultimately, appreciate it. She returned to bed and sat on one side with her legs hanging off. Nico followed and sat beside her.
"If I'm going to include you in my business, then I have to ask: what do I do now? How do we fix this situation?"
"It's not hard. Just tell this Honoka that you're done with the games, and that you're turning her down. Be direct."
"As if you have any right to talk about being direct with feelings." Nico scoffed.
"Fine. How about this. Tell them to meet us in Okinawa. Tomorrow. If she's serious about you joining, she'll show. If she doesn't, stop taking her calls."
"That doesn't help us if she does show up. Which, knowing Honoka, is gonna happen."
"We'll give her a stern talking to about boundaries, then." Maki crossed her arms.
Nico chuckled almost sarcastically, and then sent the woman a text. In no time at all she received a confirmation. Honoka, and her business partner Hanayo, would be happy to meet them in Okinawa the next day.
With the problem now put off like jury duty, Maki laid her head back onto the plush pillow on the bed. She still wore the clothing she'd walked around in all day. With a sigh she gathered all of her remaining energy to take a quick shower, and following that she changed into a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt - the least lingerie-like thing she'd brought on the trip. Nico, sitting cross-legged on the covers, grimaced.
"But what about - "
"We have a big day ahead of us." the doctor said. And then lower, "and a whole week afterwards to make up for tonight."
Between the taxi ride from the hotel, the snaking lines in the airport, and the long trip on the plane itself, the day after the trip to the Kurosawa's was long past half-gone by the time Maki and Nico arrived in Okinawa. There the sun shown in true July hues, there the blue sky rivaled the blue waves, there the heat Maki had complained about only a day before was both welcome and welcomely whisked away by a fresh sea breeze. The area's native architecture (long, squat buildings, slate stone structures, and earth-toned terracotta shingles) stood out obstinately against nation-less resorts of glass and steel, the kind of places Maki and Nico would be staying for the week. After they found their luggage and left the airport, Maki stopped beside an unlit street lamp. Cars came and went on the road beside them. Faceless tourists passed by in waves.
Maki adjusted the wide brim of her her straw hat with one hand to shield her eyes from the sun and wiped away wrinkles from the long, flowing undress she wore in a cooling summer blue. "We're meeting them at some sort of beach bar, you said?" she asked Nico.
"Yeah, it's not super far from here. I think we might've visited it once during some kind of colab concert. Just follow me." she lead the way.
She walked a bit behind Nico. She hadn't meant to, but sight-seeing slowed her down. The city where they'd landed wasn't unlike other port towns and tourist spots that Maki had been to in her life. There was a kind of silent struggle between the place's native way of life, the demonstration of what had drawn people in in the first place, and the commercial and corporate companies who moved in to take advantage of the tourists. It wasn't as bad as Venice. Not even close; Maki had been sorely disappointed by how pandering that place had been. But clearly things were in flux. Tiny beach shacks selling local goods were placed across the street from convenience stores she'd seen in her native Tokyo. Old fashioned out-door food stands, situated between swaying palm trees, had to compete with fast food restaurants that popped up only feet away. Maki thought she might be exaggerating the issue, but that quiet, dying town from the day before was fresh in her mind. She thought about change, about adaptation, about spirit and about losing it. She gazed again at Nico, at straight-backed, sure-footed Nico, and how she turned bad knees and a forced retirement into a brand new career. A new life. Her ears were filled with the sound of crashing waves; she closed her eyes to listen closer, and intertwined Nico's fingers with her own. Nico squeezed once. Maki squeezed back.
Though the silent walk was comfortable, Maki felt relieved when it ended. They stood near one of the entrances to the beach proper. People walked past them in swimsuits, or cruised by on bikes. Not far ahead Maki noticed a bustling business with a line forming down into the sand before it. The place could hardly be called a building; it was, at best, a shed. The shack looked to be made entirely of driftwood in an open floor plan so open that there weren't any walls. Thin columns supported a slightly sloped corrugated metal roof. There were about a dozen tables in the place, each with forest green plastic chairs like one might find in a backyard, and all of them were full of customers. One long side of the shack had a set-up of burners, griddles, and metal tables, and this line ended in a tiny booth where a young woman with a bright smile worked the cash register. Mouth-watering food scents drifted on the sea breeze, mingled with a sizzling symphony.
"This is where we're meeting?" Maki asked. "I thought you idol types stayed away from decrepit shacks. It's not very sweet or cute."
"We're people too, you know. We've all got different tastes." Nico said. "Plus, it's the real unassuming places like this that make the best food. You can't even imagine the way those cooks back there can throw together something delicious."
"Just looking at this stuff is giving me a heart attack."
"As if the woman who pretty much didn't cook a single home meal in forever can talk about the health of what she's eating."
Nico scoffed. "Anyway, they're already over there." Nico pointed to a table at the far end of the shack. Two women were seated there, and one of them incessantly waved with a child-like joy. If that didn't catch her attention, Maki was sure the woman's tangerine hair would.
"Is that her natural color?" Maki spoke under her breath.
"If you think her hair's bright, wait til you get a taste of her personality."
Nico took a step forward, but Maki stopped her with a tug on their still clasped hands. A few customers who had been gazing at the two former idols in the back now looked back and forth between them. "I know it's late to be saying this, but if you want to join this production company - if you really, actually want to do it - then do it. We can compromise. Figure something out to stay together, or - "
"Compromise isn't part of your vocabulary," Nico laughed lightly, genuinely. She pushed the large sunglasses she was wearing to the top of her head, then added, "You're stuck with me, Nishikino - and I wouldn't change that for the world."
Maki's cheeks heated up; she felt her heart heart swell, and scowled if only for her own personal protection. As they reached the table, making their way as unobtrusively among the other diners and they could, Maki remembered what Nico had told her about the women they were meeting the night before. Honoka Kousaka was a former idol from Tokyo, who was known in the community, to fans and producers alike, for her infectious, invincible smile and the kind of can-do attitude most people lacked. She, according to Nico, cared only about idols as people who could set examples - and be set up as goals - for fans. As the epitome of the idea that if people tried, they could succeeded. She didn't last nearly as long as Nico's legendary decade, but left a lasting impression on others all the same. It was passed around idol circles that the amount of new applicants and amateur idols skyrocketed around, and for some time after, the period when Honoka was active.
Perhaps Honoka's total opposite was the other woman in this business, a slightly younger, rather normal girl who went by Hanayo Koizumi. Impossibly shy and recognized for her crippling sense of stage-fright, Hanayo might've been the last person Maki expected to be an idol. The woman, however, had a reputation for putting on shows that caused audience after audience to leave in happy, cathartic tears, so pure was her own love of idols, idol culture, and the very fans who came to see her show. Nico mentioned, with no uncertain amount of respect, that it wasn't rare for Hanayo to invite fans and concert-goers up to the stage - fans that she handpicked during shows, who she could intuitively sensed were just as shy or self-conscious as she was. She wanted to to show these girls that even they deserved to shine. Hanayo's knowledge of all things idol-related was unmatched - so much so that she ran the most popular and extensive idol news and history website in all of Japan.
This is what Maki kept in mind as she and Nico made their way to the women, and this was what she was comparing them to. She felt out of place going to the table, like a pacifist entering a war room and being asked to help plan an attack strategy. Between her unceasing wave Honoka took bites of an impossibly large yakisoba-pan sandwich. Beside her, Hanayo diligently ate what looked to be a simple, unordered bowl of white rice. Hanayo looked up with a shy smile as she wiped a piece of white rice stuck off her cheek.
Maki sat down across from Hanayo at the four-person table, and Nico took the seat beside her, opposite Honoka. Maki couldn't hear the waves even though they were barely a hundred feet from the water. Just the chatter of patrons and the sizing of food and the singular chiming of the cash register. She barely had this moment of reflection before Honoka - still smiling - all but yelled "Hello!" She reached across the table and gripped Maki's hand between two of her warm ones. It took most of Maki's inner strength not to pull away, not to shirk from the embrace and grimace. "You must be Maki! It's nice to meet you!"
The doctor looked over to Nico, who shrugged. "It's not like I hid the fact that I've been dating you."
"Well then, it's...good to meet you too, Miss. Kousaka." She turned to Hanayo. "And you likewise, Ms. Koizumi."
As if she'd heard the funniest joke in the world, Honoka threw back her head for a loud guffaw. "Ms. Kousaka? please, Maki! Call me Honoka! I'm sure Hanayo feels the same!" Hanayo nodded, bright-eyed, in Maki's direction. Maki nodded. She felt out of place there between the three idols. Each had an intensity, even quiet Hanayo, that spoke to their true calling as stars of the stage. Whereas her own personality was formed on knowledge, on proving herself, on a kind of world-weary cynicism, the three women surrounding her were different. She sensed that underneath their individual personalities had to be an identical innocent glee, a soft glowing heart that made them become the idols that they once were. She sat back in her seat and looked towards Nico. Honoka and Hanayo followed.
"Look, girls," Nico leaned forward and slammed her palms against the table only loud enough for it to add emphasis. "Let's cut to the chase. I really appreciate the offers. Honestly, I do."
"So you'll accept?" Honoka broke in.
"Oi, Kousaka, let me finish. I appreciate all of the offers you've given me, but I have to decline. Totally and completely."
"All of them?" Hanayo asked. "There are even a few positions we could give you that wouldn't require you to be at our office every day. I-if that's the problem, of course."
Honoka nodded excitedly. She seemed to do everything excitedly. "Yeah! We just want to get someone as knowledgeable and passionate about idols as you, Nico! You're our friend. We haven't even considered anyone else for a partnership role yet."
"We would love to have your advice and experience, Nico. You were an idol for a decade - there's no one else out there who knows as much as you. C-can you imagine how we could help girls out there reach their dreams, together?" Hanayo added.
In her near-isolated seat - an island off a 3-shore coast - Maki waited for Nico to respond. She looked intently at the checkered tablecloth on the table, and at no one else. She waited for an answer to the question that affected both of them from there on out. Nico turned to her and shook her shoulder; out of the corner of Maki's eye she noticed once more Nico's pink nail polish. Nico grinned. She grinned and then leveled one of those unrivaled, determined expressions Maki had seen so many times before, and her heart skipped a beat. A shroud, nervously worn, lifted from her heart. Maki resisted the urge to break out into a bright smile, and then let it go anyway, like a reticent father on the day of his daughter's wedding.
"Right now, I work in a hospital with Maki - I don't think I told you guys that. I get to help others the way I was helped. I get to bring smiles to people's faces everyday, and I get to do it side by side with this smart, beautiful, motivated woman. I'm happy." Nico said with the ghost of a melancholic smile gracing her lips, "And I never thought I'd be happy at a time in my life when I couldn't be an idol. That's my answer, girls." She waited a beat and then added with a sarcastic smirk, "Unless this position comes with some hotter, smarter doctor or something."
A silent, unmoving beat passed before Nico's words sunk in, a supersonic jet of a declaration with its own emotional sonic boom. Maki's cheeks heated up a million degrees, her heart glowing in her chest so lightly, so sweetly, that she felt the immediate need to cross her arms and cover her chest and protect it. She bit her lip and looked anywhere that wasn't Nico. That became much harder when the woman wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Hanayo dotted her eyes with a napkin. Honoka's grin lost its excessive energy and instead picked up a true warmth.
"I see." she said, nodding. "I get it, Nico. I'm really, really happy for you! That's why Hanayo and I decided to do this in the first place - to give back, you know? To teach other girls how to spread those smiles and start them on their own path."
Hanayo nodded. "Exactly. I remember what had made me love idols, a-and how it gave me hope. I want to give hope to others too."
"So then, you get it - why I'm going to stick with the good doctor here, right?"
Honoka pushed back from her seat and stood up. She motioned for Hanayo to do the same. "Definitely, Nico. But we're gonna keep in touch, alright? We're still friends, you know!"
Hanayo beamed. "Who else is going to geek out over idols with me?"
"Yeah, yeah." Nico rolled her eyes, smirking. "And who knows, maybe I'll point a couple of my patients your way if I think they have promise."
"Nico! There's doctor-patient confidentiality to think about. And conflicts of interest. And - "
"And there are no secrets between idols or friends, Maki."
"Nico!"
"Oi, calm down Nishikino. I won't break any rules. Though, considering when we got together, I'm not sure you have the right to talk about that."
"That's it - now I want you to join those two. Go ahead. Leave."
Hanayo and Honoka laughed. Nico beamed in contest with the sun.
Their resort room had a balcony; it was something Maki insisted on when she planned this leg of the trip. She was standing on it, though night had fallen, and was looking over the smooth white railing into the ever-moving waves below the resort colliding into rocky shores and cliffs. The breeze ruffled her hair softly, a kind hand. Despite how late it was, the sky refused to wear her black cloak and donned instead something indigo, a deep dark blue, a tease of the morning with a silvery moon at its center. Try as she might - try as she did - she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. Nico's words hadn't left her mind in hours. She turned from the waves to the moon, to see the hazy ring of light around it, and thought it a spotlight.
Her star walked onto the balcony carrying two glasses of white wine, then. In the night the wine's pale golden color took on an ethereal shimmering. She placed the them on a round table beside the door before approaching Maki.
"Sorry, took me a sec to get that cork out."
Maki shrugged. "We're on vacation. There's no need to rush anything."
"Are you advocating for patience? That might actually be first. Even at home, you're not usually this relaxed. And forget about what you're like at work."
"I don't need your commentary." she pouted. "the past two days have just - gotten to me, I suppose."
"That was the intended effect of the Kurosawa thing. Well, in a way."
"And what was the intended effect of the idol thing? Torturing me? Worrying me?"
"How many times do I have to apologize? It's all sorted out now anyway." Nico, who'd been leaning with her back to the railings, turned around and matched Maki's posture. "And don't lie; I'm positive you got something out of how cool I sounded back there."
"Don't flatter yourself, Yazawa."
"Don't blush so red, Nishikino."
The doctor shook her head and leaned over, bending slightly towards her girlfriend. Nico took the hint, heard the words Maki was still too embarrassed to say, and kissed her sweetly. Maki's heart swelled. They separated and Maki looked back at the moon. She felt Nico's gaze on her, warm and possessive and loving. Maki was beyond pleased that their kisses and embraces had yet to lose the neediness and power they'd started with. She hoped they never would.
Maki considered never. She considered forever, too. And, for perhaps the first time on this vacation, thoughts of the hospital faded away completely. Her past, Nico's past, their future - none of it mattered more than the present moment, more than the little world of warmth and adoration that existed there in their midst. Searchingly, in the blue-black of the night, in the swell of the waves crashing in her heart, she reached out for Nico. The other woman met her half way.
Maki squeezed their tightly held hands, hoping that that could say everything she couldn't. Nico squeezed back just as tightly.
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