Willing it to Be Chapter 10
Sonny is sitting in his hotel room in Memphis, he's waiting for T to show up and let him know if he is going to Carrie and Austin's house to stay or if they have decided somewhere else for him to go, until the FBI can find out who exactly Paul has been drugging since he came to town.
He believes that it must be at least the rest of the group that he came to Memphis with, except Lucas and Sami. He also believes that Paul must have gotten to Gabi, Chad, Abby and JJ, Kate, Jennifer, Hope, Brady and Rafe as well because all these people were once so close to Will. He took away everyone that was important to Will by putting them under his control with the use of that drug.
And he knows that Adrienne had recommended the tea blend to Maggie, so she and Victor may have been affected also. He feels this is likely because when he thinks back on it, Victor only became vicious about Will after Paul came to town.
He didn't love Will before then to be honest, but he was always as polite to him as Victor was capable of being to a person. That changed even before the cheating happened, or when Paul assaulted Will, lets call it what it was.
Paul then had the nerve to act like the person who was wronged. because he was lied to, he had believed that Will was single, and everyone bought his act, including Sonny. The man should win acting awards, he was so convincing that they all believed him.
He set out to trash Will's reputation and everyone else went along with it, even him. God, he has so much to make up to Will, the list is endless. He is going to do it though, even if it's the last thing he does.
He thinks that Sami wasn't drugged because at first, she was in California and after Will was taken, she was traveling around looking for clues on EJ rather than focus on the fact that her son was gone; and Lucas because he never liked Paul, smart man, wish I had seen it too.
Lucas wouldn't accept anything that Paul had offered him. He spent as little time as possible with Sonny and Paul, so there wasn't much chance that Lucas got hit with the drugs, unless Adrienne gave him some of it unknowingly.
There were only a few times that Lucas was around Sonny and Paul, and every time it had happened, Adrienne had dragged Lucas there with her. It's like she wanted Lucas to see that Sonny was happier with Paul then he had ever been with Will. That's what she thought, but it wasn't true.
Sonny doesn't understand why his mom did that, she had to know that it made Lucas uncomfortable to see Sonny with Paul instead of Will. He can't believe that his mother could have been so insensitive to Lucas' feelings.
Even while he was under the influence, he somehow knew that he had loved Will more than he ever did Paul, but he couldn't seem to be able to keep away from Paul. Something kept dragging him back, well, now he knows what it was, the drugs were keeping him there and loyal to Paul.
At the time he thought that it was love, and that he had to be with Paul. That they were meant to be together, but it was just the drugs forcing him to believe that was true. They had such a control over him that he couldn't even decide to go after what was most important to him.
It's why when they heard that Will might be alive, that he wasn't running off right away to find him, that it had him saying that he just needed to know if it was true about Will before he could come back and marry Paul. Now that he is free of that damn loyalty drug, he cannot believe that he would ever consider choosing to still want to marry Paul over having the chance to reunite with Will.
He doesn't know what will happen between his mom and Lucas now that she has been rescued from prison, and it was thanks to Will that she had gotten out of there. Since she got to Memphis, Sonny doesn't remember hearing her mention even once that the FBI were responsible for getting her released.
She kept talking about how his dad, uncle Steve and aunt Kayla were there for her. She doesn't mention that that they weren't getting anywhere with the warden until the FBI confirmed her identity.
Templer told Sonny the only reason they did that was because Will had asked them to do it. After being held captive himself, he couldn't see her go through that anymore when there was a way to get her out, and back to her family. He wanted someone to be happy with their family even if it couldn't be him.
Even knowing that Adrienne didn't like him and had never treated him well, he had still gotten her help when she needed it. Sonny realizes now that no matter what Will has done or will ever do, it will never be good enough for Adrienne.
He can't see her and Lucas getting back together once Lucas hears about what happened in Memphis while they were gone with Will to the aircraft carrier for the surgeries; hearing about Paul's freak-outs and no one having a problem with his threats against Will, or the fact that they had blamed Will for Paul acting like that.
Yes, Lucas has been gone away from Adrienne while Will has been having his surgeries but surely, she wouldn't have expected Lucas to stay with her instead of going with his son to be there for him while he fought for his life and tried to recover from the horrors he had been put through.
God, he can't believe that Rolf did so much damage that they couldn't fix it in one surgery, he was going to have to undergo up to eight surgeries to remove all the implants and repair the damage that had occurred. He knows that by now Will must be almost finished with the surgeries and that he is hopefully on his way to a full recovery.
T told him that they almost lost him during the first surgery, that he had almost died several times but fought back each time. The surgeons were surprised by this strength of will, after everything he had been through. Sonny always knew Will was strong, this was just proof.
He's also heard from T that Lucas has been sober since he's been on the carrier, and that Sami has been helping him out. He wonders if all their time together worrying about Will has brought them closer, that would be understandable considering they are there together for Will.
They could support each other during the time they are waiting to find out if their son was going to be okay and would recover from what he had gone through. He doesn't know how his mother would take it if Lucas falls for Sami again. He knows that it is possible because he knows that worry can draw people together.
Speaking of Will's parents, he knows that Sami and Lucas would as soon shoot him as see him with Will, after all the pain he has caused him; but he wants to let them know how serious he is about trying to win his husband back. Even before the drugs were out of his system, he wanted him back.
He sometimes thinks that his desire to be with Will overrode the effects of the drugs and that it started helping him to see clearly. Wanting to be with Will and being able to love him again for the rest of their lives. He wants to raise continuing raising their daughter Ari together with Will, but he also wants them to have more children as well.
He would love to have a little boy that looks just like Will, and he would love for them to have children that he is the daddy to as well. He wants them to become a family again, and then when the time is right, make it even bigger and better.
Right now, it is only a pipe dream, until he can find a way to show Will that he is completely serious about wanting to be back with him, and that he is the love of Sonny's life, and that he is his soulmate as well.
He wants Will to know that he is the only one Sonny can ever see himself being with ever again, that he will never hurt him again. He wants to explain what Paul has done to them all, hell, except for the drugs he used on Sonny and the rest of their families, Will most likely knows every that has happened.
He remembers T telling them that Rolf made sure Will saw everything that was going on and what they did. He must make Will understand that he would have never willingly cheated on Will; that yes, for the past two years he had believed Will was dead and he did have sex with Paul. He can understand how Will feels about the fact that he had sex with Paul during that time, but he wishes there was some way he could go back, and make sure that it had never happened.
He now knows that he didn't want to be with Paul, the drugging was what kept him there, to him he always felt disconnected when they had sex, it had no emotional connection for him, but he never told anyone.
He thought that he just couldn't stop feeling guilty for being with someone other than Will. He knows that he can't take away the pain of Will seeing him with Paul, but he wants to create new memories to replace those. He knows that this will be one of the biggest struggles he will have to face in his getting back together with Will.
He can understand how Will feels, because the thought of Will sleeping with someone else tears him apart. He knows that it must be even worse because Sonny was with the one person who Will must hate the most in the world, the man who had set out to steal his life and had succeeded.
He cringes when he thinks back to saying how Will would want him to be happy, and not having a problem with Sonny moving on with Paul. Realizing now that must have ripped Will's heart out, and how stupid it was to think that way in the first place. People reassured him though that it was true.
He can hear his mother telling him time and again, that if Will truly loved him when they were together, he would not begrudge him being happy again, especially with someone who loved Sonny as much as Paul did.
He is going to get tested, because since he now knows that Paul was drugging him, he doesn't know what else he could have doing. He would never want to make Will sick because Paul gave him a STD while they were together.
He hates thinking about those times now, it makes him physically ill. Even though he doesn't want to think about it; Paul was controlling him with the drug, and making him want to be with him; which means that Paul was taking away his choice for whether he had sex with him or not.
He had done it for more than a year. He had done the same thing with Will. He knows that there is more to the story than T is willing to tell him. He thinks that T knows that if Sonny knew the whole story, he might go after Paul to make him pay for everything he had done to Will. He can understand the FBI keeping quiet because if they are building a case against Paul, they don't want him doing anything to ruin it.
The more he thinks about it, Paul had to have someone helping him, there is no way he could have done everything by himself. Who would betray he and Will like that, though? It had to be someone that Paul knew before he came to Salem, it had to be someone that he didn't know.
None of their family and friends would ever do that to them. No one they knew could be that twisted except Stefano DiMera and he was gone. Also, and though it was quite creepy, he had liked Will, so he wouldn't deliberately hurt him. The only one he could think of that would want him and Will apart that badly was his mother, but even she wouldn't do something that despicable just to get him and Will break up.
Sonny knows that she will do whatever she can to keep Sonny and Will apart; but she wouldn't do something like helping Paul deliberately break up his marriage, and hurting Will like he was, would she? Sonny loves his mother, but he has decided that he can't live his life for her, or to live it the way she wants him to do; not if he wants to be happy.
He is going to make it clear to his whole family that Will is his life, and that if given the chance, he will be rebuilding his life with Will and Ari. Once they are back together, he is going to ask Will if he wants to buy a house with him. Or better yet, build one that is their dream house. They can build it to the exact way they want it, hopefully there will be lots of room for more kids.
He loves Will, and Will makes him happy. He knows that he must have a real plan in place to show Will just how much he loves him, and that he will spend the rest of their lives making it up to Will for what happened Will's last year in Salem, and during the time he spent with Paul while Will was gone.
Going back to his thoughts about who might have been hit with the drug, even on a small scale like Lucas. He doesn't think he was, like he said to himself earlier because he didn't treat Will like everyone else did, he didn't slavishly think that Paul was perfect like the others. He does remember though Lucas not saying anything when Adrienne would start to trash Will in front of him.
Sonny doesn't think that Adrienne had ever drank the sports drink, but he does remember her talking about loving the new tea blend that Paul introduced her to, she could have given him some of that. Sonny thinks that he should suggest to T that they check Lucas just to be on the safe side.
Damn Paul to hell, how could he have done all this, to all of them but especially Will. What ever gave him the idea that he could do what he wanted to people, and not care about what he did to their lives, look what he did to Will because he figured he was owed Sonny for losing his career.
Sonny is happy that he might have the chance to get Carrie and Austin help him win Will back. He knows that he needs them in his corner, because Seb has T and Will's Aunt Billie behind him. He knows that T likes him, but T is still dealing with how he feels about what Will went through indirectly because of Sonny.
Seb doesn't have any of the baggage that Sonny has dragging behind him thanks to his former fiancé. If Paul hadn't been determined to get him back as a consolation prize for not having his career anymore, then none of this would have happened.
How could Paul have been so selfish to not care who he hurt when he decided to do whatever he had to, so he could get Sonny back in his life. Paul deciding that he had the right to be with Sonny now because he decided that it was what he wanted, not caring if no one else felt the same way. He made people react the way he wanted them to, it was like he was the puppet-master and they were all his puppets.
Sonny is so sorry that Will was put through a year of hell because of Paul, yes, Sonny did most of it himself, but he also put Will in the position so that the town tore him apart. Paul wanted something, namely him, and he had to get what he wanted, no matter who got hurt in the process.
Someone had to have been stirring the town up for Paul though. The people in Salem had never been shy in stating their opinions on anything that happened but after Paul came to town, it was different.
They had gotten steadily more vicious as time passed, and their treatment of Will had become even more unbelievable. Well townspeople, watch out, you wanted to pass judgement on Will, your time in the spotlight is coming. Let's see how you like being the ones judged; and how well you react to the way you are treated for your misdeeds when they are made public knowledge.
Sonny knows he sounds vengeful, but he can't help himself. Those people went out of their way to torment Will for having done something that was commonplace in Salem, and they were so cruel to him. The truth was that Will was innocent of the cheating rumors, and thanks to the tumor, he hadn't been able to stop himself from acting on whatever thought came into his head when he was trying to save his marriage to Sonny.
He really had been trying to fix his marriage, but everything just kept getting worse, everything he tried just blew up in his face and made a bigger mess of things. Some of his actions had been wrong, like trying to blackmail Paul's mom into leaving Salem and getting Paul to go with her.
Too bad he never succeeded, it would have saved both him and Will a lot of heartache; but Will was so desperate at that point that he was willing to try anything. He had tried asking Paul to leave him and Sonny alone, and allow them to try and fix their marriage. Obviously, Paul did not grant that request.
Will ended up resorting to doing something that he would never even consider normally. That should have been a sign to Sonny just how much Will was trying to get their marriage back on track. At the time, Sonny was so caught up in Paul because of the drug's control that he couldn't see that.
It just confirmed everything that his mother had always said about Will, and he was so confused about who he really loved, that he knew he needed to get out of Salem for a while; so that he could figure out who he really wanted to be with, who was the right guy for him.
He decided to take Uncle Victor's offer to go to Paris to oversee the clubs project, it would give him some time to himself, so he could think clearly, and make the decision that he needed to make. Now that he thinks about it, the offer came out of the blue; before that Uncle Vic wanted him to run his new club in Salem as well as him running his own club, Club TBD.
He now wonders what made Victor offer him the job in Paris, did someone suggest it to him, it would have to have been someone that Victor knew quite well. Sonny made one mistake though, he took along the sports drinks and the tea with him. Paul suggested that to him, saying that it would be a little bit of home while he was gone.
He was so foolish, he believed him, and thought this showed that Paul really cared for him, and wanted him to be thinking of everyone in Salem remembering how much they cared about him, especially Paul. He thought that was so sweet, now he knows that it was to keep controlling him while he was away.
He knows now that after less than a week of not ingesting the sports drink or the tea, the effect of the drug is gone, and you start acting like your old self again. Paul had to keep him using the tea and drink, because otherwise, Sonny would have started to wonder why he didn't feel the same way anymore and more importantly, why had he been acting the way he had been towards Will since Paul came to town?
Come to think of it, he had temporarily run out of both less than a week before Will was killed, and when he heard the message from Will, that he was so happy to hear from him, and wanted to go back right away to fix things with him.
The drugs must have been almost out of his system. When he went home for the funeral, every day he was drinking the tea, his mother kept giving him some to calm his nerves and relax him during that awful time. No wonder he was so out of it during that week, he was being drugged again.
After the funeral when he decided to go back to Paris, Paul promised to keep sending him both so that he would again have something from home. He made sure that Sonny was kept drugged, and loyal to him.
Paul is a monster, Sonny thought to himself, but pretending to be a great guy who is so nice to everyone. Will could disagree on that statement, he is living proof that Paul would do whatever is needed to get his own way.
God, he was so gullible, Paul acted like he was a good guy, and he fell for it. He didn't look closely at Paul's actions, and Paul helped him ruin his marriage. That happened, and now he must somehow make it up to Will. Can Will understand that Sonny's actions were because he was being drugged daily by Paul.
Would he believe this story if he heard it, would he believe Will if Will had told him this story? No, because it's insane but it is true. Hopefully the FBI will supply him with a copy of the drug testing that shows that Sonny had been dosed daily for almost three years.
With the results, he can show everyone that are important to Will that he had been controlled because of the drug, and that he never meant to do anything that he had said and done to Will during that last year. He knows that it won't fix everything but at least they will understand that he regrets what happened and will do everything he can to fix what he broke.
He will make sure that Paul can never hurt Will in any possible way in the future, no matter what he must do. T has hinted that the FBI will most likely be laying charges against Paul, and he can't wait. He will be there to see Paul punished for what he did.
Hopefully, once his actions are shown to their families and the public, that Paul will get what's coming to him. It's what he deserves. He has hurt Will so much, Sonny as well, but Paul went out of his way to destroy Will's life, plus he drugged god only knows how many people so that he could control their actions and feelings so that he could have what he wanted.
All in a concentrated plot against Will to break him and Sonny up, to ruin their marriage and get Sonny for himself. The kicker is that he never really loved Sonny, he just wanted him to make Paul feel better, he saw him as something he deserved to have if he lost his pitching career; while Will loved Sonny with all his heart, plain and simple, he just wanted to be with Sonny because of love, and not for any other reason.
Sonny now wonders if he had been drugged in their past relationship, because he had never once hidden who he was dating before, and he let Paul hide him in hotel rooms for over a year, so he wouldn't be found out and wouldn't have to admit that he was gay. Sonny wonders if he can find out from T if the test shows the drugs going back to his San Francisco days, or if Paul had just started that in Salem?
Knowing what he does now, he wouldn't put it past Paul. He always had to be in control. Well, if T ever gets there, he will ask him. Also, he wants to find out more about this plan to get everyone tested in Salem, and are they waiting for the others to go back to Salem first. Are they gone back yet? He hasn't heard from them since the call last night. How can they test everyone for the drugs and do it without making people suspicious, especially Paul?
T said that they had a plan that they think will work though, so he is curious what it is they are planning? As the curiousness is getting the better of him, there is a knock on the door. Sonny goes to the door, and before he opens it, he asks who is there? T answers him, and he lets him in.
Sonny is just about bouncing in place wanting to know what has been decided. He looks at T and finally he asks him.
Sonny, "So what's the verdict, will I be staying with Carrie and Austin, or am I going somewhere else?"
T answers, "They have agreed that you can stay with them, but there are some conditions that they expect you to go along with, but you were expecting that anyway, so you are going to Switzerland for the foreseeable future; while we get our cases finalized and the testing in Salem completed."
Sonny, "Yes, this is great. I can deal with whatever conditions they insist on, once Will is there, I can finally start to try making it up to him, and hopefully winning his love for me back. This is the best news I have heard for the longest time.
Now, can you tell me what the plan is to get everyone we think was drugged in Salem tested at the same time. How are you going to pull that off without making everyone suspicious that you are looking for samples from everyone? I am dying of curiousness, I have been trying to figure out how you could get everyone to agree to testing.
You are going to need a plot, something that would make think that they had to be tested. Too bad my in-laws aren't here, they could come up with something quickly, you can say that they are good in plotting, they will admit that they have the experience.
By the way, you are waiting until my parents and the others are back in Salem, right? We need to know if they have been drugged and for how long? Are they still in Memphis, do you know? I didn't want to call them back and get into it again.
I also had a thought, could Paul have an accomplice in Salem, someone that might have come after he did, who is helping him with everything that he has been doing? He can't have been doing it all by himself with the amount of time he was always spending with me, his jobs, and the time he spent with his dad and the family."
T, "I will definitely look at the accomplice angle, that is an interesting point, to be honest, we never paid much attention to who he interacted with besides you when we watched all the videos. Man, he was seriously stalking you, Sonny, if I didn't know better, I would think that he had gotten you chipped with a locator device, you know the ones they use for animals, the way he always found you wherever you were.
He couldn't have though, because they would be after finding you by now. Though I can't remember if we told you, but Templer found a tracking chip in your suitcase after he picked up your things. Hope that you don't have a problem with him checking, he thought that they might try something like that, knowing that John is an agent."
Sonny," What the hell, T?"
T, "Sorry, Sonny, Templer didn't want them finding you before you were ready."
Sonny, "That's not what made me mad, they planted a tracking device to find me after I told them that I didn't want to be around them because of what happened before I left. Damn them all. I wonder whose idea it was. Too bad some of Stefano's cameras weren't placed in that suite, then we would know for sure. I have three guesses though, and they are Paul, John and my mother."
T looks at Sonny and says, "Your mother? You think that your own mother would try to do that to you?"
Sonny, "In a heartbeat. You know that she has been pushing Paul at me forever, even before the supposed cheating happened, she was always saying how much Paul obviously cared for me, and that we had been so good together.
I realize now that she was trying to undermine my relationship with Will since it began. For some unknown reason, she hates Sami and she has passed those feeling down onto Will. She has never liked Will, and she used to trash him all the time even when we had just started dating.
I thought that she had changed her mind when we got married, but now I know that she was just acting how I would want her to behave with Will. She never did change though, and no matter Will does, he will never be good enough for me in her eyes. Even after he helped her get released from Statesville, she is still trashing him.
She would rather see with a control freak like Paul, it just doesn't make sense. Will was and is the love of my life, but she would rather that I be unhappy than be with Will. For a moment, I even considered if she had been helping Paul, but that's crazy, right?
She would never do something like that to Will, let alone me, she's not capable of doing that, is she? She loves me, she would never hurt me like that. If I ever found out that she had done like that, I would never be able to forgive her, our relationship would be over, I wouldn't have a mother anymore.
She must be under the influence of the drugs. We know that the tests showed that any previous feelings would be amped up by the drugs, so those negative feelings that she had from before, that must be what is making her act the way she has since Paul started drugging us all.
Damn that man, he has caused so much trouble, and people in Salem including our two families look at him like he is perfect, that he can do no wrong. It drives me insane that he had fooled me that much, that he used us all to ruin Will's life, and he helped me to ruin my marriage.
I just wish I could go back in time, and make sure that I never had any contact with him ever, not just in Salem. I wish that I could erase my whole relationship with Paul. I wish that I had never met him that first time, and that he had never come to Salem.
Will wouldn't have been hurt and his life destroyed, if we had been together then, perhaps we both would have been at Abby's apartment that day, and Will would never have been attacked. He would never have been at the morgue for that madman to get his hands on. He wouldn't have gone through almost two years of torture at the hands of that madman, being experimented on every day.
He would have been with me and we would have been raising Ari together with Gabi, and he would have had a chance to see all her firsts in person, rather than on a monitor. Can you imagine how he felt when he saw her first day of pre-school and he wasn't there with her, it must have crushed him. I feel sick when I think about that. I didn't protect my husband.
I have so much to make up for, I have to start a list so that I don't miss anything. I want to make sure every hurt I caused Will these last three years goes away. I know that it will take time, and that I am going to have to work extra hard because your cousin Seb will be there, and he won't have any of these past actions to have to get past.
He will be starting off with Will with no issues between them, and I am afraid that I am not going to be able to get Will to really listen to me when I try to explain what happened. I know that you think I should just walk away and leave Will alone. That it would be easier for him to start over with Seb or someone new.
I can't though, even if I never get him to love me again, I need to apologize for everything that happened. I have to help him get his life back on track, to help him get healthy again. I can be the person that he screams at when he is frustrated and hurting while he gets his physical rehabilitation.
I can take that, I deserve it, he wouldn't be going through all this, if I hadn't brought Paul into our lives in the first place. I am the reason that Paul did everything to Will, because in his mind, he had the right to do whatever he wanted in order to get me back.
That tears me apart inside and I will never be able to apologize enough to Will. I will be saying and proving that I am sorry for the rest of our lives. Will is the love of my life, and I need to be around him, even if it's only as friends. You know I want more, but I know that Will may not be able to forgive me. I hope that's not true though. I have to believe that big beautiful heart is still buried inside somewhere.
I know that you said that he is angry and bitter, and god knows he has every right to feel that way. I am hoping that he will be able to see that I am sincere in what I am saying. I hope that when he hears that Paul was drugging me from day one, that it will at least help him realize that my actions were not completely my own.
Obviously, yes. the drugs amped up what I was feeling, but they also caused me to feel angry with Will and not want anything to do with him all the time, to go out of my way to cause him pain, but the majority of what I did was being controlled by Paul. He went out of his way to interfere, no ruin, mine and Will's relationship. He set all of that in motion.
He had to know before he came to town that I was married and who I was with. It's not possible that he set all of this up after he came to town and saw me, if he was drugging me from the first time he came to the club, it was too soon after he came to Salem.
He wouldn't have had time to decide on the drug, where to get it, and who to drug, and once he got the drugs to be able to put them in the sports drinks and tea blends. He had to have all this planned out before he came to town.
He knew what he was going to do before he came to Salem for his surgery. He planned all of this and had it ready to go when he got there. He knew who Will was when the interview was done, hell, I am betting that he probably requested that Will be the one to write the story.
God, he is so manipulative. He deliberately set to ruin everything, so he could have me. I wish that he could feel every bit of the pain that he put Will through. I am hoping that once you test everyone and get the results back, that the others will finally take the blinders off about the real Paul.
Sorry for ranting on you, but I just had to get it out. I was talking to my therapist earlier about all this, and it has been churning in my brain ever since. She has told me that I have to be realistic about the fact that Will may never forgive me, and even if he does, that we may not get back together, at least not right away.
She had a suggestion for me. I didn't like what she said but it made sense. Convince Will that even though I love him and want him back, that he needs to know how he really feels, for him to be sure that it is really me that he wants to be with in the future.
Or if he is just clinging to our relationship and needs to let go, and get on with his life. She thinks that he should date someone else to see if he still has feelings for me, or if he is completely over me. I really didn't like hearing that, but I can see the sense in it. If he dates someone else, but finds that he still wants me, then we should be able to work things out.
She also suggested something else, an alternate solution. That Will should date both me and a new guy and that way he could be sure who he really wants to be with. I don't want to see him with anyone else, especially if he enjoys being with them, but if this helps him realize that we are meant to be together, and that we are each other's soulmates, I will do it.
So, tell your cousin Seb that he may get a chance with Will, if Will agrees to this plan, but I plan on pulling out all the stops to win Will back. Remind him that I have all this knowledge of Will, and I plan on using that.
I may have been a bastard to him that last year in Salem, but I am determined to make it up to him, and I know all his likes and dislikes, how to make him feel good, even if I forgot for a while. I plan to prove to him just how precious he is to me, that he is the reason my heart beats.
My head is clear for the first time in years, and I am determined to use all my strength and love to be the man that Will deserves. I am going to devote the rest of my life making Will as happy as I can. I want us to continue raising Ari together, and I want us to have a bigger family. Will is such a great dad, and I can imagine him with more children to love. He would be so great with them.
If he wants to continue writing, I will support him one hundred percent, but if he wants to go back to school and do something completely different, I will support that as well. I want to make his life as perfect as it can possibly be.
I am praying that Will is open to everything I have to say, and that he will give me a chance. I will make it up to him for every time he was hurt, whether by me or someone else. I know that will probably take years, but I am in it for the long haul.
I want to find out who was helping Paul, because they deserve to be punished for what they have done to Will. What they did with me and the others was bad, but the things that were done to Will were criminal. By the way, did they ever identify the exact drug Paul was using on me, do they know what it is called.
Sorry for jumping from one topic to another, the therapist told that would happen while I am trying to get all my thoughts and emotions organized. The drug clouded my mind for so long, that I am still getting used to being able to process thing clearly without having to push past the effects of the drug."
T, "Ironically the drug's street name is Loyalty, it's some designer drug, we have been trying to track down the manufacturers so that we can get it off the street before it is used to ruin anyone else's life; that it was created to be like roofies. We think that it was created shortly before Paul got his hands on it.
It would be interesting to know how he even found out about it. We are looking further into his past, to see what we can find out about him. Do you know much about his past, before you met him in San Francisco and got involved with him?"
Sonny, "No, hardly anything, I never met his family because they didn't know that he was gay. He kept that very much a secret from his mother and grandfather. I found it interesting that they couldn't or wouldn't come to our wedding? There was something going on with him and his family. I overheard a conversation that didn't sound too pleasant a couple of weeks before the wedding, but I put his attitude down to stress from the wedding preparations.
Also, I have been wondering if he was using that drug when we were together the first time, because I was out and proud, and I was hiding the fact that I was dating someone from everyone I knew. I had always said that I would never do that, yet I did it for over a year. Can the tests tell how far back the drug showed up in my hair for the first time? That is how they tell, right?
Could you find out and let me know, also can you arrange for me to get tested, I want to make sure that he never passed anything to me, because now I don't believe that he wasn't sleeping around? I need to make sure I am safe because I would never forgive myself. If I had something, and never knew it, and passed something onto Will if I am lucky enough to ever be with him that way again."
T, "Sure, I'll get one of lab techs to come and draw some blood, and get the results rushed. I am glad that you are doing that, to make sure you protect yourself, and Will if it comes to it. Okay, I have a question, and you don't have to answer it, but I am curious about something.
Oh god, it sounds so bad, but was it better with Paul or Will, because I am sure that Will needs to know the answer to that question, and how you answer it will make a substantial difference in what happens between you and Will in the long run. There is a reason for my question, but I can't get into it right now.
Just know some of that pain that you wanted Paul to feel, it will be very public, and he will be very embarrassed. There will be payback. How is the work going on your little project to avenge Will?"
Sonny looks at T and says, "Okay, not sure where you are going there, but it was always amazing with Will, it's going to sound sappy, but it wasn't just physical but spiritual as well. We made love, we didn't just have sex. With Paul, it was always only sex, I never felt the way I did with Will, and since Will was gone, during the time I was drugged, I felt like I was disconnected from what we were doing, it was just sex. I never enjoyed it the way I did with Will. I guess that answers your question.
That project is going good, I have been compiling a list of people that hurt Will and all the secrets that I have personally heard, and what I have picked up from over the years from hearing my family and others talking. It's amazing what they say when they don't think there is anyone around to hear them. Put it this way, I know more about some people than I ever wanted to know.
Now to something more important, have arrangement been made for me to go to Switzerland to stay with Austin and Carrie? You guys are making them, right? I figured you wouldn't want me using my credit card to book the trip, it would be too easy to track whatever I do online, especially for John and Paul.
I will reimburse the agency of course, I just have to be able to get the money without them tracking it. Luckily, I have an account that no one knows about, I kept an old joint account that Will and I had, and I have kept a good amount of money in it in case of an emergency with my other accounts. I never understood why I did that, but my mind must have been trying to help me subconsciously knowing that I would need to get away from everyone else."
T, "That's what I came to tell you, get everything packed up, we are getting you to Switzerland as soon as we have confirmation that the others have left Memphis, we don't want to take a chance of them seeing you, and somehow getting you to come back to Salem, probably by playing on your guilt about Ari.
Don't worry, we are getting Ari out of there as soon as possible. We are getting Gabi and Ari to come to Switzerland, and we are getting either Rafe or her new boyfriend to come with her. Knowing about most of the people most likely having been exposed to Loyalty we are going to check Gabi as soon as she lands in the airport in Switzerland.
We are thinking that it would be probably better to have the new boyfriend come with her, we don't think that Paul got around to dosing him because he came into the picture so recently. Paul was too busy with all the wedding stuff to really be around Eli, so we don't think he will have been exposed to the drug."
Sonny, "That's great. Hopefully they will go back to Salem soon and I can get to Switzerland as soon as possible. I want to prove to Will's family how much I love him, and that if I am lucky enough to win him back that I will never be so stupid again. That I will treasure Will for the rest of our lives.
I am not saying that we won't ever fight, but I will never turn away from him again. Like I said at his funeral, god that sounds weird since we know he is alive, but I learned my lesson, don't ever go to bed angry or leave without resolving issues because you never know what can happen."
T, "Okay, by the way, Will had his last surgery this morning. He has gotten through them all. The first one was the hardest on him like I told you, but he had no problems with the other seven surgeries. They have put him in a medically induced coma for the next week or so, so that his body can heal without them worrying about him moving around too much. The less stress on his body the better right now."
Sonny almost cries, "Oh my god, that is fantastic, he made it through all the surgeries. Thank god that is over with, now he can concentrate on recovering. I will be there for him if he lets me. I always knew he was strong, he just proved it. Eight surgeries in as many days, amazing.
Have they arranged for physical therapy for him in Switzerland? I would ask uncle Vic for a recommendation, but that would get back to the others, I am sure, and they would know where I am or at least where I was going.
I am sure that they would show up to bother Will, and me as well. Until we can be sure that all the drugs are out of their systems, I don't want them near Will, and I am sure that his family agrees with me on this subject."
T, "Yes, we have a great therapist arranged. Her name is Brittany Lopez-Pierce. She is great, she is sweet and lovable. She and her wife have agreed to go to Switzerland for however long is needed. She is already in contact with Will's surgeons and they are creating a rehabilitation plan for Will.
She is just the kind of person that Will needs to be around, her bubbly personality and attitude is just what Will needs right now. She will not let him get down on himself, she will get him to do the work that is needed, she is persistent but gentle at the same time.
She incorporates different things into her therapy, she doesn't just get people back on their feet, she helps them feel better about themselves, she helps them build up their self-confidence, which would be great for Will. She has a degree in Physical Therapy as well as Psychology which she combines in her patient's treatment.
She is very unique. She is a certified genius, but she has an unique outlook on life; she sees the world quite differently from most people; but remember she is a genius, like I said. For example, she calls gay people dolphins because dolphins are just gay sharks. She will be the perfect person to get through to Will. If he is angry and bitter, which he has been for the past few months, she will get past that to the real Will.
Fair warning, she and Santana are good friends of Seb's. They have all known each other since high school. Seb and Santana once had several epic song battles during Michael week the year before he graduated. He is my cousin, so I might be biased, but Seb is an amazing singer and pretty good dancer too.
Both groups from high school are going to be in Switzerland for a reunion while you and Will are there. So be prepared for all of Seb's friends getting to know Will, and giving him a lot of information about Seb. It was Seb that recommended Brittany, and when Carrie and Austin checked her out, they were so impressed that they got a hold of Sami and Lucas who passed the information onto Will's doctors.
Seb's friends can't wait to meet the guy that Seb thinks so much of, and hasn't even met him in person yet. They figure correctly that Will must be a great guy. Apparently, the fashionistas of the two groups want to give him a makeover to show everyone just how hot Will is. What was it that Seb said that Kurt said to him. Oh yes, they are going to showcase him so that every straight girl and every gay man are falling all over themselves to get to Will.
Actually, they have an offer that will put Paul in his place for thinking he is so superior to Will, and will make the jaws drop on everyone in Salem. We just need to get Will to agree. Sami and Lucas as well as Brian are going to talk to him and see if he will agree to do it. It is a once in a lifetime offer so I really hope he accepts it. Once he accepts or declines the offer, I will tell you what it is, I will give you a hint. Everyone will see just how fabulous Will is, and their reactions will be priceless.
They are also helping Will's family with a project of their own, to show the people of Salem how they are all hypocrites, they already have most of it done, they got the stuff they needed in Salem before anyone could find out who they were, and what they were really working on. Let's say between your project and theirs, a lot of people won't want to leave their houses for a good long time.
With regards to you and Will, or Will with anyone in a relationship; you have to know that Will told me and Brian while we were in the warehouse that he doesn't believe in marriage in anymore. He told me that he was going to stick to hookups so that he couldn't get hurt anymore. That is where he is at right now. That is why he had the divorce papers drawn up. He wanted you to hurt as much as he hurts right now.
Seeing Paul with you when he saw you for the first time in over two years, that really hurt him. You know that was why he kept screaming get out and I hate you. It was seeing all the people who had hurt him so much that caused him to flatline that night.
I want you to realize just where you are going to be starting from with Will. You will need to get past his anger and bitterness. You better be prepared to be yelled at, to be screamed at, and possibly have him even throwing things at you. I mean physically, not just emotionally.
It will take days if not weeks for him to get out everything that he wants to say to you and let you know how he feels. You need to do this, you need to be able to take whatever he throws at you before you ever have a chance to explain what happened and what Paul did to you, as well as the others. Can you do this? Are you prepared for this? He was so hurt that he needs to make you feel his pain, can you deal with that?
You are not going to like what he has to say, you are going to want to defend yourself, but you need to let him do this, he has the right to tell you how it felt to him when he saw you moving on with the only person that I have ever really known Will to hate, the man that ruined and stole his life, his husband and his family, the man who made his life a living hell in ways that you don't even know about yet.
And no, I can't tell you about that, I can only say that you have only seen the tip of the iceberg for what Paul Narita has done to Will. There is so much more that will come out, and you will realize the true horror of what Will has been put through by that man.
When the truth comes out, and it will, the blinders will be ripped off everyone's eyes all at once to the true nature of the man they replaced Will with in their families and lives. God help them, but they deserve the shock and embarrassment they will feel for how they treated Will. Be very glad that you made a lucky escape when you did. Now, I can't say anything else about him.
I have an idea how you could prove to Will that you truly want to fight for him. It might sound out there, but if you signed the divorce papers." Sonny starts to interrupt, "No hear me out, if you sign them, then it will be a fresh start for the two of you once Will gets past his pain, and you can go from there.
That way, you and Seb each have a fair chance at Will; and Will wouldn't have to feel like he was cheating on you if he does spend any time with Seb. You know that the dear citizens would use you two still being married as another way to trash Will, while Will tries to work out whether he can get back with you again.
It would be a solution and would not let anyone say anything bad about Will, because until those projects are shown, they will all still be talking garbage about Will. All the while, they will be saying how bad Will was to steal you away from Paul like that, and now he is already cheating on you again. You know that I am right, they would be trash talking Will all the time. Will doesn't deserve to be degraded any more by those idiots.
So, I will give you a little preview of the plan to get the citizens tested back in Salem once the remainder of the Salem group gets back. It is based on an idea that Will came up with in high school, he wrote a story about it, but I was the only who ever saw it. To be honest, I don't know if he remembers it, but I do. It was so good that it stuck in my head, and when I told Templer he decided to use it.
We are going to have an email be sent out by the Mayor's office to all the citizens. Everyone will be asked to come to HTS, and it will be a celebration of the two newest events that have selected Salem for the honors because Salem deserves these so much.
It will be an official announcement of the new film festival and a great new program to help the Salem PD. Mayor Carver will be there on behalf of the town to bask in how good Salem is and that they have been selected over many other small towns.
Everyone will be patting themselves on the back, and celebrating. While they are there smugly patting themselves on the backs for Salem being selected, something unexpected will happen. A crop duster flies overhead and drops water on them drenching everyone, doesn't sound bad, right?
The next that happens is going to be the huge monitor coming to life with a skull and crossbones image on it, with the message that says ominously, in letters dripping blood, "As you sow, so shall you reap" and the warning that they have all been dosed with a new chemical.
Of course, it will only be water, but they won't know that. Everyone there will be terrified, and then the officials will sweep in, they had been coming to warn them that the email was a hoax, but unfortunately, they arrived to late to stop the group behind the stunt from going through with it.
They will insist that everyone who was in the square be quarantined until they can be tested to make sure that whatever they were dosed with won't be harmful, so they will have to scrape skin cells, take hair samples and bloodwork. No one will be able to leave until they have the results, so they will have to rough it in the square for the next day or so, in the oh so glamorous jumpsuits that we give them to wear.
They will all be tested by techs they believe to be from the CDC, but they will be our techs who do all our analysis. We will also have a couple of our doctors there to soothe the fears, but there is nothing to worry about, it will only be water like I said. There is no chance of anything happening to anyone, at most they will be soaked and humiliated. This will give us the chance to get all our samples without Paul or anyone else being the wiser.
So, what do you think of our plan, or I should say Will's idea?"
Sonny looks at T for a second and then he cracks up, "Oh my god, please get me a video of it, to see all the oh so prim and proper folks looking like drenched rats all at the same time, I need to see it. I would also love to have a copy to add to my little project. That is too good. My husband is an evil little genius when he wants to be."
They both laugh, and T takes out his phone to call Templer to let him know that he has filled Sonny in on all the latest details. Templer tells him that he has heard from his source that the remainder of the Salem group are checking later that day, and they are going to the airport to head back to Salem.
John apparently finally talked his son into going back to Salem without Sonny, but it was a tough sell. Paul trashed the suite again after he realized that Sonny wasn't coming back after the other night's call, and John now must pay an exorbitant amount to the hotel for all the damage that Paul has done to the suite.
The hotel wouldn't move to another suite either after Paul trashed their suite the first time, so they had to stay in the broken-up suite until they could convince him to go home. They are all so concerned with dear Paul, and feel that it would better to get him home before he is further traumatized by the scandalous way that Sonny had treated him.
Imagine leaving Paul to go back to that horrible Will. None of them can see how Sonny would ever make that decision, obviously all the stress he's been through since the crashed wedding must have affected his thinking; why else would he leave his real love for someone like Will?
Adrienne also went on a rant declaring how dare Lucas not be here with her, that he had the nerve to go with Sami while Will was being treated. He had his mother with him, he didn't need his father as well. Lucas should have stayed with her; didn't he understand the ordeal she had been through for the past couple of months.
T and Sonny look at each other in shock, they almost don't need the test results, they all must be affected by the drugs. There could be no other explanation, none of them are rational, especially not Paul. Unfortunately, once the test results are in, there will one that is devastating to Sonny, however it won't be that Paul was drugged and that there is a reason that could explain any of his actions.
Sonny remembers something and mentions it to T. Paul never drank out of any the sports drinks or tea blends that Sonny had at his place. He always carried around either a sports drink with him, or a travel mug with tea in it.
He is sure that Paul is going to try and claim that he was drugged as well, so they need to get their hands on those drinks that Paul always has with him. He never saw Paul drink from anything but the ones he always had on him unless it was something other than the tea blend or sports drink. Templer and T agree. They will get it added to the next search warrant for Paul.
This lets Sonny that there must be multiple charges going to be laid against Paul. He is glad to hear that. Paul needs to pay for the all damage that he did to Will, how he totally changed Will's life and Sonny's as well.
Finally, Paul will get the punishment he deserves. Sonny shakes his head, he can't believe that just over two weeks ago he was getting ready to marry that bastard, he is so glad that the wedding was not finished and that he is not legally tied to that monster. That's all he can think of to describe Paul Narita.