~Though it's dark where we are
I want you to know how I feel
And anywhere you go, near or far
I swear what I feel for you is real~
"…You want me to…?" Italy, who was still being held tightly in Germany's strong arms, looked up at the man, the brown of his curious eyes shining against bright blue. Germany wanted him to run? Run where? Italy didn't want to leave yet. He had just had Germany brought back into his life and he most certainly didn't want to part from him so soon.
Germany nodded and restated his request. "I want you to run Veneziano. Get out of here." Germany looked down at the smaller man in his arms and felt the same fear of parting. For weeks he had wanted to do nothing but this. Just to hold Italy and comfort him, tell him that he didn't hate him. The entire time this war had been going on, all Germany wanted to do was to leave and spend time with Italy again. He craved the little bit of peace the two had once had. Right now, that was what they were finally getting, each other's desires; Italy's friendship and warmth and Germany's acceptance and care.
"How could I Ludwig? I'm a prisoner remember? I can't just leave, I'd get hurt." Germany nodded solemnly not wanting to see the Italian get hurt even worse than he already was. He was covered in light bruises, probably from France, and he had big black rings under his eyes, showing the effects of sleepless nights.
Germany fell silent and rested his head atop Italy's as he dove into deep thought. Germany knew he would have hell to pay for this later. France would be furious, Russia would most likely punish him somehow, and if anyone found out he had purposely let Italy go it could get him into serious trouble.
But at the time he didn't care. He owed it to Italy to set him free and to allow him to breathe the fresh air again. Germany probably knew best of all how easily Italy could get hurt, emotionally and physically, and how much he would cry if he suffered any sort of pain. Germany imagined Italy crying late at night from the pain that he himself had caused and it killed him. A little bit of pain on his end was a small price to pay for Italy's happiness.
"I'll think of something…" was his reply as he sighed heavily, his head starting to ache.
"I trust you Ludwig…but let me stay like this for a while." Italy spoke softly and laid his head on Germany's chest as he tightened his hold on the man. He let his eyes flutter close and a smile spread across his face as Germany's hold on him firmed as well. Even if he was stuck in a dark room with almost no light and even if he was a prisoner, as long as he was with Germany he was the happiest he could ever be.
The arms wrapped around his smaller body were comforting and made him feel at home. The warmth that was radiating against his own made him so glad he felt as if he could cry. The man standing so close to him and the man that was holding him made him feel so alive and that he actually mattered to someone in the world. Italy knew the man standing in front of him was the man he was going to love for the rest of his life.
Their chests were pressed together and Italy could feel their heart beats match and drum in the same rhythm. Italy's mind started to drift and soon it went blank as he let only the sound of their breath fill his ears and the feeling of drum beats fill his senses. Germany's warmth covered him like a blanket and the embrace he was in made him feel safer than he had felt in months. Ever since this horrible war had started Italy had felt as if he had been standing on sifting sand, but when he was with Germany… he felt that it was impossible for him to get hurt. He felt that the German would always save and protect him… Germany was like his knight in armor. Italy smiled in spite of himself at the thought of this.
Suddenly, Germany's voice was also filling his ears.
"Veneziano…did you mean that?"
"Did I mean what?" Italy said his voice peaceful and his eyes still closed, images of himself and Germany filling his mind.
Suddenly the blonde's heart beat started to race and Italy, who noticed it immediately, looked up a bit worried to have his eyes captivated by clear blue. "Do you really love me?"
Italy's brown eyes widened and his faced flamed to a bright shade of pink as this question left Germany's lips. His breathing caught in his throat and suddenly he felt as if his heart would leap from his chest and scamper out the door. All he could do was stare back into Germany's deep blue eyes and remember how to breathe. He had tried to say this to the man before and he had every word he wanted to say planned out, so why was it so hard now? Why couldn't he remember a word of what he wanted to say? And why did the words that he did remember sound so cheap? Why couldn't he spit it out?
Italy was afraid. He had had a door slammed in his face. He had been dragged away. He had been yelled at, screamed at, hated, hurt, and so many other things. It was as if the world didn't want him to be happy with Germany. It was as if the universe didn't want his feelings to be known.
Despite all this however, Italy shoved everything aside. His fear, his nervousness, his hurt, everything that had happened and tried to his best to tell Germany what he had been trying to tell him for years.
"I-I do…" Italy avoided Germany's eyes and looked to the floor as he continued to speak, trying to keep his voice together, air in his lungs, and his bravery intact. "And not just that…I-I don't just love you… I love you as my best friend and I care about you a lot… I still remember the promise we made each other back in World War Two where if you were in trouble I'd save you. I don't just love you…" Italy lifted his head back up and looked in Germany's blue eyes dead on. "I'm in love with you."
Germany couldn't believe what he had just heard. Italy…was in love with him? His own heart started to race and his eyes widened as he froze where he stood… no one had ever told him that before…no one. For weeks he had heard Italy saying in his head "Germany I love you!!!" but he never thought he meant it in that way, He knew the Italian was affectionate so he figured he meant he cared a great deal about him, but now…Italy had just proved him otherwise.
Italy felt Germany stiffen and knew he had just over stepped a boundary. He pulled away from the German and started apologizing one hundred times over. Italy kept his eyes on the floor, hoping no tears would make their way down his cheeks. "I'm sorry Ludwig, I-I know you don't like me that way, i-it's okay I understand. I'm sorry I told you, I should have kept it to myself and I know you wouldn't want me and I-"
A strong arm wrapped around Italy's waist and pulled him in close while a hand was tilting his face upward and a strong voice was speaking soothingly to him with half lidded ocean blue eyes," Hush." Quite suddenly Germany's lips were touching his, on his, kissing his. Italy was certain he was dreaming! Germany would never kiss him…would he? And he could never possibly return his feelings…could he?!
"Where would ever get the idea I wouldn't want you?" Germany murmured gently against Italy's lips. He wrapped his arms tighter around the Italian's waist and continued to speak into his ear as if reading Italy's thoughts.
"You're the only one who bothered to get close to me. You're the only one who broke through my wall and got me to feel emotions I thought I lost. You're the only one who can make me smile anymore. You're the only one who makes me feel truly cared about. You're the only one who sees past all the bad and accepts who I am. You're the only one I feel happy with. You're the only one I want by my side and Italy… you are my only one."
Italy's heart raced as the soft, deep words were said to him, each filled with so much truth and sincerity there was not a shred of doubt in Italy's mind anymore. Germany didn't hate him nor did he ever. Germany never thought less of him and the war didn't change that. Germany cared about Italy deeply and from the sound of Germany pouring his heart to Italy, he always had.
Italy wasn't sure how much bigger his heart could swell to fit his love for Germany.
"Ludwig…" Italy whispered against the German's neck, his arms secure around his warm body," I love you so much."
Germany felt bad for what he was about to do. He had just told Italy how much he meant to him and now he'd have to bring down Italy's joy. He knew how much Italy loved him and he knew how strongly he felt about Italy. He would have liked nothing more than to say the same thing to Italy and to hold and kiss him for hours on end but no matter how much they didn't want to realize it; they were still in the war. And Germany knew full well that in war, feelings could get in the way of so much and they could get someone hurt… or even worse. It made him feel terrible
He grimly knew that if he said he loved Italy back it could ruin things. What if Germany got hurt and lost an arm? Would Italy still love him then? What if Germany got hit with a bullet in the throat and lost his voice for good? Could Italy love a mute person? What if Germany lost use of his legs? What if someone found out he was in love with the enemy? What if he got so lonely because he was in love he too tried to sneak to see Italy?
So many dangerous situations and instances came flying into his head that the words he had been dying to say now retreated into the back of his throat and choked him.
He couldn't tell Italy… he knew it would hurt him but it was for both of their own good.
Germany remained silent and he kissed the top of Italy's head and almost choked on the words that made him feel like the most horrible person alive.
"I know."
Italy looked up at Germany with shining brown eyes he adored, but now they were filled with confusion and a touch of hurt. Germany tried his best to avoid Italy's somewhat sad stare and attempted to hold back his all too rare tears.
"Ludwig…?" Germany begged silently. He begged in his mind for Italy not to ask him. Not to ask him that one question he would have to answer. The answer that was impossible to avoid or to dodge. The one question that terrified Germany beyond belief because he knew how hard it was to avoid this kind of truth.
"Yes Veneziano?" Germany asked, his voice just barely a whisper.
"…Do you love me too?" The bomb dropped in Germany's gut and the silence surrounding them was enough to kill him. Germany stroked the side of Italy's face with his hand, running his thumb over Italy's soft cheek. He kept Italy's face tilted upward and tried to speak to him the gentlest and softest he could.
"Veneziano, I adore you." He knew that wasn't what Italy wanted to hear but Germany kept speaking as if to calm the Italian's nerves. "I care about more than anyone and you mean so much to me. I never would want to see you go and I would never want to leave you alone. I know this is going to sound like an excuse but this war is putting too much at danger if I answered that… but please…wait. Wait until this is all over and wait until all the fighting has stopped. Until every gun has been laid to rest and until every uniform has been hung, that is when this war will be over. When everyone stops fighting… we'll go somewhere bright and sunny. We'll go somewhere where there are flowers everywhere and where no one can find us. We can eat pasta every day and we can walk through the woods that are nearby. No one can hurt us there and no one can tell us who to side with. It'll just be you and me."
Italy fell silent and his gaze stayed locked with the German's. Germany closed his eyes and kissed Italy's forehead for a long time while cradling him in his arms. Suddenly he felt Italy's mouth curve upward underneath his thumb and he heard Italy's voice.
"Ludwig? I'd really like to go that place." Italy grinned up at Germany and continued with a bright tone. "It can be just the two of us. No one can know about it besides us, so it'll be our secret. Can we have it near the ocean?"
"Of course we can." Germany said reciprocating Italy's smile.
"And can we go the ocean with a picnic basket and wine? And can we stay there until night time and then lie on our backs and watch the stars?" Italy asked with wide eyes and a beaming smile. Germany nodded and held Italy close to him, starting to rock him gently back and forth.
"I'd like nothing better." Italy giggled and threw his arms over Germany's shoulders, bringing their lips together in a sweet and loving kiss. His fingers laced together behind Germany's head and the corners of their lips turned upward as they were pressed together.
"I can't wait for this war to be over~" Italy said, the cheer now back in his voice as his mind floated to the wonderful images Germany had given him. He imagined the two of them walking hand in hand along what he imagined as a sparkling ocean coast. He imagined the two of them sharing a bottle of red wine under a tree's shading leaves. He imagined the two of them together… and happy.
"Me neither." Germany's smile, no matter how wide, died slowly and his tone turned serious. "Though I'm not doing you any favors by keeping you in here… I need to think of a way to get you out. In my opinion Iraq should take your place in here."
"What if you said I wasn't in here when you came in?" Italy offered, trying to help the thought process.
Germany shook his head no and started to pace the room, releasing Italy from his embrace. "That wouldn't work. There are no windows for you to get out by and France saw you when he pushed me in. What if I said you knocked me out and managed to escape?"
This time Italy was the one to disagree. "I couldn't hit you let alone knock you down Ludwig, but…" a smirk started to make its way across Italy's mouth and he started to giggle again.
"What? What is it?" Germany asked curiously, wanting to know what the Italian was thinking.
"I am a pretty fast runner and I am kind of slippery~!" Germany arched an eyebrow not knowing where Italy's mind was venturing.
"What if after you spent so much time 'torturing' me you didn't tie my back up since you thought I was too 'beaten and battered' to get up and what if you when you opened the door to leave I just so happened to 'slip out'?"
The same smirk found its way onto Germany's face. "And it is pretty dark in these corridors and I don't know my way around here. Plus I can't see so well in the dark so I may accidentally grab the wrong person."
"Which wrong person Ludwig?" Italy asked, getting excitement from playing along and from where their plan was going.
"Oh you know him; he's got blonde wavy hair, facial hair, blue eyes. What if I 'accidentally' grabbed him and I didn't know it was him because I covered his mouth preventing him from talking, thinking it was you I didn't let him go in time-"
"Oops Ludwig! You've let me escape!" Italy's giggles increased but kept his laughter quiet. "So what do I have to do?"
Germany kept his voice low and explained their plan to Italy in whispers. "I'm going to start yelling and screaming and hit the wall. I want you to stand in the corner and the second I open the door I want you to run past me. Do you remember the way out of here?" Italy nodded and for the first time in the entire time Germany had known Italy, he was finally taking a plan seriously.
For a few moments the two stood apart from each other, just looking at one another unmoving. They knew they wouldn't be able to see or speak with each other until the war was done and buried and it killed the both of them. They both just wanted to be finally happy with each other.
Germany slowly reached out his arms and spoke softly and lovingly to Italy. "Come here."
Italy raced the few steps forward and threw himself into Germany's arms, clinging tightly, trying to get every last piece of Germany he could before he had leave. He wanted to remember him and Germany just like this so that he could have something to dream about and savor until the end of all the bloody battles.
"I'm going to miss you Veneziano."
"I'm going to miss you to Ludwig." Before releasing from each other's embrace, Ludwig left several long and short kisses on Italy's lips and then two on his cheeks. He grasped Italy's smaller hands firmly in his as he said almost pained, "Please wait for me."
Italy nodded and kissed Germany's nose. "Of course I will." With that Italy backed into the corner and covered his ears while Germany went to work.
Germany took a huge breath of air into his lungs and thought of only Russia while he yelled and screamed.
"YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE CAUSING ME?! A HELL OF A LOT!! IF IT WERE UP TO ME I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!!!" Germany kicked his boot against the wall harshly a few times and then punched the door for effect, hoping the Frenchman would hear. "YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WASTE!! YOU CAUSE EVERYONE AROUND YOU TROUBLE AND I AM SO SICK OF YOU AND YOUR CRAP!!!"
Germany then pushed his foot against the chair that Italy had been tied to and kicked it across the room. He looked at Italy who was still in the corner trying not to laugh. Germany smiled as he continued. Italy must have known that images of Russia were racing through his mind.
"I HOPE THAT YOUR COUNTRY FALLS AND BURNS TO THE GROUND!! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE LOSING THIS WAR!! LOSING!!! IF YOU HAVE ANY HOPE OF WINNING THEN YOU ARE INSANE!! YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL IN WORLD WAR TWO AND YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH HELL NOW!!" Even though Germany's voice was loud and booming, he could hear France's footsteps coming closer to the door and Germany motioned Italy to get close behind him.
"You know what?! I'm DONE with you! I am so SICK of your problems and your issues!! You can stay here by yourself for all I care!! See how much you like this side of the war!!!"
Germany let out a frustrated and stifled yell and then slowly undid each lock one by one. He felt Italy wrap around and then squeeze his waist one last time before he opened the door.
Before he even got one foot across the threshold, Italy dashed out around Germany and smashed the lamp nearby with his elbow, destroying all source of light. He heard Italy's footsteps bound down the stone hallway like a flustered rabbit, France following close behind.
"GRAB HIM!!" France's voice echoed right behind him and he let France run a few feet, knowing Italy was much faster at retreating, and then caught up with him in the dark by following the sound of his boots. He clamped a hand over France's mouth and wrapped his other arm around his waist firmly. He felt France thrashing around as he dragged France back to the room where he and Italy had stood moments ago.
Germany heard France's muffled screaming and yelling but pretended that he didn't recognize it. "Shut up! Trying to escape is going to get you KILLED! You're just lucky I don't have a gun with me you filthy traitor!" Germany boomed a little too close to France's ear, on purpose of course. He could feel France trying to bite his hand but every time he tried to do so Germany would just jerk the man forward, causing the Frenchman to almost trip and twist an ankle.
He strained his ears and heard no noises that sounded like Italy. No retreating or distant steps. No fast breathing or gasps. Besides France's struggling and his own voice yelling, it was silent.
Germany decided that when you kiss someone you get addicted to them. You want to feel them held against you and you want to feel their heart beat against your own. You want to run your hand in their hair again and you want nothing more than to kiss them all over again.
He knew he had done the right thing but he was already missing Italy.
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"I can't believe you made it out of there! How'd you manage that?!" Romano shook Italy gently by his shoulders. Italy had just burst through front door, tired and breathing hard from running such a long distance.
"Italy's back aru?!" China asked from the other room before Italy could get a word out. Italy figured that China had come over to plan Italy's recapture. Were Iraq and North Korea here as well?
"Yeah he escaped! Can you believe my idiot brother actually did it?!" Romano asked grinning after throwing his arm over his twin's shoulder, leading him into the kitchen where he was greeted by China, North Korea and Iraq.
"I'm impressed Italy. I thought one of us would have to come save you or just leave you there hoping you'd survive through the end of the war." Iraq added. So much for planning his rescue… Iraq showed that she could have cared less. Though Iraq had a certain tone to her voice… some sort of lighter air… but a dark aura surrounding her.
"Uhm…yeah I just slipped past France and Germany when they opened the door." Italy said trying to sound cheerful and proud, though the mood in the room seemed off to him. Usually his and Romano's house was open and bright and happy. Right now however it felt dark and sinister, as if something was up. "Why is everyone here…?"
Iraq motioned for Italy to have a seat at the table where a world map was spread out. Iraq's face was resting in her laced fingers and she was smiling… this wasn't a good sign at all. A closer look at the map revealed red marks and X's all over it. Arrows streamed in every direction along with different colors and various shapes. Certain countries were circled and others were completely blacked out. Italy tired not to gasp at the sight of America and Russia.
America's land was completely coated in red slashes and foreign writing he couldn't understand. Half of Russia's land was crossed out with a black pen and the other half had names written on it. Italy's stomach started to sink and immense worry grew fast in his mind.
"Iraq…? What is this…?"
"What does it look like Italy?" Iraq asked the smile still wide on her face and the tone in her voice still present.
"A-A map?"
"Not just a map, it's an invasion plan. We're giving everyone that deserves them a 'present'. For Russia we're giving him a taste of his own insane medicine and for America?" Iraq stopped to show her teeth in her smile, all of them resembling fangs to Italy.
"I'm going to invade his land and give him the same problems he gave me."
~Authors' Notes
HavocCheese: Hello to all~! I would like to apologize for such a long wait...again. School has been consuming my soul and I had really bad bronchitis for the entire week so that was preventing me from thinking too clearly. Finally Germany Italy ja~? And just in time for the holidays too. I worked especially hard on this for all the fans who wrote us with kind words and praise! I appreciate every single person who reads this story and without you guys we would have never come this far. DOUBLE DIGIT CHAPTERS BABY!!!
RedMoonDragon: Hello everybody, and yes we finally made it to the double digit chapters! I apologize for not having the last illustration up...or this one for that matter… *hides from Russia* But because of your support we finally made it to this chapter! And giving all of you your Christmas wish for Germany and Italy! I hope you're all happy and what we wish for Christmas is your reviews to lift our spirits! Merry Christmas~