Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.
I hope you all like it!
A week after prom, I found myself sitting in Jasper's room downloading the prom pictures onto his laptop so I could send them to Renee. Jasper left me alone, something I was fine with as I inspected every frozen moment for a good five minutes before moving on to the next one. There were the ones of Jasper and I staring at the camera and the ones of us staring at each other, but the picture of Jasper placing the bracelet on my wrist was the one I stared at the longest. If it had been a good ten years ago and the camera was filled with film instead of microchips, the focus would not have been on our faces but on Jasper's soft touch against my skin. It reminded me of the photo of my parents in my bedroom, the one where the focus was on their waists and their arms lovingly wrapped around each other.
There was one picture I wish I had: the moment Jasper placed the necklace on me. I searched for it, but none existed and I couldn't remember if there was a flash at that moment or not. It would have been my other favorite, but I supposed it was just as well. A photograph wouldn't have been able to compare to the memory of his breath tickling my neck, his sweet but still masculine smell enveloping me, his words booming in my ear…
"The hungry groan rumbling from his throat."
I sighed heavily and slowly turned around on the chair to face Edward as he stepped away from the open door. "I didn't hear anything."
He scoffed, "And you humans are so good at listening."
"Why do you think you can scare me away?" I shook my head. "He wasn't going to do anything, especially with you all standing there. Thoughts aren't actions. And a groan isn't an action. Jazz isn't as weak as you both seem to think he is. Maybe if you had confidence in him, he would too."
"Did you forget what he almost did to you on the staircase?"
My mind flashed back to the moment I was being taken away from a bloodthirsty Jasper in Edward's arms. To me, Jasper's dark eyes weren't completely taken over by his need, but I knew reality could have been different. I tried not to let Edward get to me by pushing buttons I didn't even know were there. "If there isn't anything new you want to talk about, I suggest you leave."
"You're not so good at keeping me out," he merely said, taking a step back toward the door.
"You didn't see the whole thing," I said, picking up quickly what he was talking about. I briefly flashed to me in a wedding dress, but didn't let the repeat vision go any farther. "And just because I see it, doesn't make it true." Although, I couldn't help hoping this one was.
Edward opened his mouth to say more, but Jasper knocked on the door as he pushed it open, stopping the conversation and the eye contact. "Edward, Emmett wants you."
Downstairs, I heard Emmett calling up through the floorboards, "Yeah, I need someone to throw the baseball to."
I looked at Jasper and smiled, shaking my head at the bad excuse Emmett had come up with. His eyes weren't looking at me, but at Edward. The two of them stood there, eyes on each other in a silent conversation until Edward turned out of the room, slow enough to know it must have felt like moving in slow motion for the vampire. I eyed Jasper questioningly when his attention focused on me, but Jasper shook his head once, letting me know it wasn't a conversation I needed to be a part of.
"So…Jazz?" he asked as his feet brought him closer to me.
With a nod, my smile returned to my lips. "Yeah, Jazz. What? You don't like it?"
"No. I was just trying it out."
"You remind me of the music style," I started, giving him the explanation he didn't ask for. "Jumpy, smooth, heated, laid back, jarring, comfortable, a contradiction but rightfully so."
"If I'm straight jazz, then you're a Gershwin composition," he said, without missing a beat.
I stood up, dangerously close to him. "Oh, so I'm influenced by you?"
"Yes."
He lifted a hand to brush his cold fingers across my cheek. I shuddered as my eyes closed, but not because of the cold. "I thought I was the one who influenced you," I whispered as lips rested on the top of my forehead. A flash of something akin to desire shot through me, making my breath come out raspy and my heart beat faster. "Okay…I get it." My words barely made it out as I tried to fight against the feeling.
He chuckled, but I felt him take a step back.
"You are so dead."
Graduation was the next big event in the Cullen household. Of course, it didn't hold much pomp and circumstance as mine eventually would, but I still insisted in making it a big enough deal that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had to attend the ceremony along with their family. I sat next to Esme, Carlisle and Edward that Sunday afternoon two weeks later. Luckily, the ceremony was outside and the sun neglected to show its face. I didn't know if Jasper could spend the time stuck in a gym without going ballistic; it would have been nowhere near as easy as sitting in a classroom and sometimes even that was too hard for him.
All three of them graduated with high honors as to be expected by three vampires, and, afterward, when everyone was spending time with each other deciding where to eat and saying their last goodbyes, we slipped out and headed back home.
"Congratulations," I said, handing Jasper two small presents as we sat in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes with him and Esme in the front. "If you don't like it, just let me know and we can go pick out something else. I just…" I let my words fade out as I watched him open up the gift.
The first package opened contained a small rectangular box not unlike the one he presented me with. This box, however, contained an expensive antique Waterman fountain pen decked out in silver swirls on top of a black background. I was nervous as his fingers traced the top of the cap down to the silver nib, but the anxious smile never wavered. Then he moved onto the next package. It was wider and only slightly taller than the container the pen was in. Soon, the chocolate brown of the present was poking through the graduation themed paper. When it was free, Jasper finally glanced up at me.
"You never really decided what you were going to do in the next year or two or more, but you did mention something about possibly writing another book." I looked down at the leather covered journal with a flap tied carefully closed with leather strings in the same chocolate brown. "I noticed the journals next to your books and, after reading part of one, I realized you write before typing them. I figured… But, like I said, if you don't want it, we can get something else."
He reached out for me as he slid across the black leather of the seat, and I leaned my head on his shoulder with my lips barely touching his neck while I took in his scent. "I don't want something else. I love my gift. Thank you."
I kissed his neck tenderly before taking my head off his shoulder. I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's smiling eyes looking at me from the rear view mirror and let Jasper feel how much I loved him instead of letting him know with words as I wanted the moment to be as private as it could be.
By the end of that week, I finished my exams and said goodbye to my friends with promises of getting together at the end of the summer when I returned from my trip with my sister to see my mother. Only a couple of days after that, I was on the plane sitting next to my sister, the uncomfortable cloud of silence sitting over us both.
To try and get away from it, I thought of Jasper and the past week. I kept the trip away from him until my last day of school because I didn't know how to go about letting him know. It also scared me that Jasper could decide to just walk away from me while I was gone even though I was ninety-nine percent sure that wasn't going to happen. On the short drive to the house, Edward kept sighing in frustration as I chewed over everything again and again.
"He won't leave you because he'll be just as worried as you. Just call him every now and then," he said, "for the sake of everyone in the house."
"You're not so bad sometimes," I joked with the vampire.
As soon as I rushed into Jasper's room, I let him know what was happening. He told me to have fun and enjoy the Florida sun.
"So, what will you do without me?" I asked as I watched him writing in the journal I bought him from my spot on the desk chair.
"Get some work done," he said as he sat in the big chair in the corner, his expression serious.
"You're not going to even miss me a little?" I pouted.
"Maybe." He put the pen down and closed the journal as he looked up at me. I saw the playfulness in his eyes and I couldn't help but smile.
"I'll call you every day."
"Okay."
"You don't believe me?" He smirked and I stood up with mock anger on my face. "Oh, go on, make light of the situation. By the time I come back, you'll be gone."
"Where am I going?"
"Texas. And I won't get to see you."
He chuckled. "I'll be right here. You can see me as much as you want."
My feet led me closer to Jasper and the chair. "No I won't. How will I explain going to the Cullen's house when Jasper isn't supposed to be there?"
"Rosalie? Emmett? Edward?"
I moved the journal onto my lap as I sat on his and leaned against his chest. "Rosalie would work. Emmett, too. But would Bella believe me if I said I was going to see Edward?"
His laughter bounced through me. "No, most likely not."
We talked about nothing of importance after that, and, sometimes, we didn't even talk at all. I licked my lips remembering the taste of Jasper on them until a baby's cry brought me out of my daydreams. I embarrassedly sighed and glanced to my left where Bella sat. Before I could think clearly about what I was doing, my soft voice called, "Bella." She turned toward me and the words mistake flashed across my mind. "I'm sorry."
I looked at the back of the seat in front of me again and waited for her response. "That's all you have to say?" Her voice wasn't calm. It felt too sitcom for her to say she was sorry too and that this silence between us had gotten way out of hand, but that was what I wanted from her. I wanted us to make up with a hug and then for us to spend the rest of the trip talking about our missing time together. I wanted it to be like it used to be.
As I turned toward her, I was ready to usher another peace offering, but I suddenly realized I didn't want to. Her words meant she wanted another battle, and I was ready to give her one. "I'm sorry that I've been so mean to you lately. I know you're trying to protect me, but sometimes I just wish that you would let me make my own mistakes."
"This isn't possibly a little mistake. This could be your life."
The overused words fell before me and all I could do was rub my temples in a circular motion to stop the headache that wanted to come. "I know what I'm doing, and if you would just be patient you'd see that I'm going to be fine. Nothing bad will happen to me." I turned my exhausted tone into a cheerful one as I pushed on one of her buttons. "In fact, I predict that something good will happen to you as a result of all this. Like, for instance, you seem to be forming a friendship with Edward."
"We are suffering through this together. We're not friends, per se, but I do have to admit that it's nice not fighting with him." She leaned back, exhausted as well. At this point I knew we both had no energy to fight with each other anymore. Our ending wouldn't hold a hug, but we would be better than we were.
"It seems to me that maybe there might be more developing between the two of you," I said, leaning close to her.
"No," she protested, and I giggled. "I'm not interested in him like that. Sure, he's good looking, but he can be so rude."
"You are trying so hard to convince me that you don't like him that you must inevitably like him. You wouldn't be protesting so hard if that was not the case. Wouldn't it be funny if we ended up marrying brothers? Well, foster brothers."
"It's not going to happen, Alice, so get that in that thick skull of yours."
I laughed, but didn't say one more word as I settled in my chair and waited for that Florida sun.
Renee's first question when she saw us was about Jasper. Selfishly, I spent the whole car ride back to her house and then some talking about the two of us while leaving out the important information.
"But I'm not the only one who has caught the eye of a Cullen," I said at the end, glancing at my sister. "Edward likes Bella. A feeling she reciprocates." I left the other two women in the kitchen to cook dinner while I rushed to my temporary bedroom to call Jasper and let him know I made it safely.
The rest of the summer was fun, nice, relaxing, and a little exciting when Bella almost fell into the fire pit on Renee's deck. Overall, the trip was a much needed one. It allowed me to see Renee one last time since I didn't know when I would be able to see her again. It also allowed me to try to solidify the bond between my sister and me. I called Jasper just about every day. The only exceptions were when I knew he was hunting. Those were the times I called another Cullen, mostly Rosalie, who started to become an ally of mine despite the fact I still wanted to become a vampire.
The last few days of the summer were saved for the friends I promised to hang out with. Jessica, Angela and I went new clothes shopping in Port Angeles, a handful of us went to the movies again, and a group of us made our way to La Push for one last hurrah before we became bogged down in homework. Jacob even made his way down to the water's edge. We didn't spend much time remembering our last conversation. I thanked him for telling me the truth in his own way, and he told me to be careful. The rest of our time together was spent on forgetting about the supernatural and having fun with the rest of the people from Forks.
And then it was time for school.
Getting around to the classes was easy enough, even if the subjects weren't. I started sitting back at the table with Bella and the rest of the humans, but every now and then I could swear Edward was trying to bore holes into the back of my head. When that happened, I would look back with questions addressed to the mind reader, but not even a short nod or shake of the head was given as a reply; he acted as though he couldn't hear a single word I was saying.
I focused on getting into the groove of my schedule before I went to the Cullen's. Rosalie picked me up the Friday before my and Bella's birthday with an excuse about shopping and dinner. I let Bella know I'd bring her home something, but she brushed me off by telling me to enjoy myself which didn't leave me feeling guilt free by a long shot. On the way to the house, I played with the hem of my light pink cotton dress only to stop to push up or pull down the sleeves of the white sweater.
"You're just a nervous as he is," laughed Rosalie.
"Why should he be nervous?"
"The same reason you are."
I saw him standing on the porch when we finally made it into the clearing the house stood in. Rosalie thankfully stopped car on the driveway, and I practically ran toward him. We met each other halfway and embraced each other without caring who around us was watching.
"I missed you," I said, looking up at him after our hug was over.
"We talked every day."
"Not every day," I retorted. "Come here." I rose up on the tips of my toes and he lowered his face to mine. Our lips touched hungrily, and I understood why I didn't let myself think too much about this part of my relationship with Jasper; there was no way I would have made it the whole summer if I did. As I once again permitted my tongue to taste him, I heard a man clearing his throat.
"Esme would like to see you two."
I broke the kiss, and the two of us paused in the feeling of the moment before he turned around with my hand in his. I saw Edward standing at the door a twisted look on his face as if it was Emmett and Rosalie he was watching. He smirked as a flash of the one time I happened to see the flamboyant couple in the kitchen when I wanted a drink of water. After that, I made Jasper retrieve my drinks. The couple couldn't sneak up on me if I stayed in Jasper's room.
Edward's slight chuckle was cut off before we made it to him. The anger I never saw him without was placed back on his features, making them even harder than normal. I asked him again what was going on, but he turned around and headed somewhere in the house.
"Welcome back, Alice," smiled Esme as we walked in. "Come." She pulled me along with my free hand to the dining room. My eyes immediately went to the beautiful dinner arrangement at the other end of the long oval table. And then the food hit my nose, making my mouth water. My stomach growled a second later.
"I'm glad you like it already," she laughed.
"You didn't have to do that," I said, pulling my eyes from the food.
"Yes I did. Jasper wanted you to have dinner, but he cannot cook. So, I took over. Happy Birthday."
With a small hug, Esme left. I let go of Jasper's hand and walked to the one plate covered under a stainless steel dome with a small ornate handle on top. Jasper walked around the other side of table, coming up behind me to pull out my chair and push it back in when I sat down. I whispered a thanks as he unveiled my dinner. The rush of the stuffed chicken on the plate ushered another growl from my stomach.
"Chicken Florentine," he said with a smile and sat down in the chair to my right, "with vegetable rice."
"You didn't have to –"
He shook his head. "Eat."
It was not my best moment. As soon as the first forkful of chicken hit my tongue, I was a lost cause. For a vampire, Esme knew how to cook. Every bite only made the dish better in my eyes. The chicken mixed perfectly with the garlic sauce it was placed on as well as the sun dried tomatoes stuffed into it. After I scarfed it down in record time, I grinned sheepishly at Jasper. It was only then I realized he sat there and watch me eat. "It was delicious?"
All he did was laugh and help me out of the chair in the same way he helped me onto it before leading me into the living room.
The rest of the family was patiently waiting on the other side. Rosalie and Emmett sat on the long white couch. Esme and Carlisle were talking in the corner near a table with something stacked on it, and Edward was standing near the stairs as if he just made it down.
"Happy Birthday, Alice," said Carlisle as he and Esme stepped away from the table to reveal a simple, but elegant two tiered white birthday cake.
I walked to the cake. The closer I got, the easier it became to see the detailed light purple lilies sitting on top of it around the lettering which wished me and Bella a happy eighteenth birthday. I felt guilty once again that she wasn't here celebrating with me. I quickly decided to give her something extra special when the actual date rolled around. "She'll love it. Thank you." I turned around to four smiling faces, one neutral face, and one slightly nervous one. "Oh, and of course I love it. It's very pretty. I'm afraid to eat it."
"Alice," said the slightly nervous face as it moved closer.
"What?" I asked, picking up on his nervousness. I suddenly didn't like where the night was going, and I thought of me standing in a house devoid of the vampires I already considered my family. He grabbed my hands and the nervousness jumped tenfold.
"Jasper," said Carlisle in a calm voice.
Immediately, the nervousness started to wane and I glared up at vampire in front of me. "What did I say about scaring me like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"
The sound of Emmett's laughter reached my ears, but the humor was lost on me.
"Sorry," Jasper merely said.
"Don't let it happen again, okay?" He shot a small smile toward me and I changed the subject. "So, cake?"
"Alice, I-I," he stumbled, something I never knew him to be capable of. "I never thought of myself being anything remotely human until I met the Cullens. Even then, I thought how idiotic it was to spend the rest of existence pretending. But I worked through it and ended up in a semi-comfortable state.
"Then you showed up. I couldn't think of anything but–" He cut himself off and took a deep breath. I frowned. "I knew I was moving through life in a haze until then. It has only been a short time, but you made me feel emotions I never thought I'd ever feel again. Most of all, you make me hope, something I thought was dangerous. I know–
Wait, I'm going to do this right."
Jasper's body fell to one knee. His right hand let my left one go and it searched in the pocket of his khaki pants. He pulled out a small square box and popped it open, presenting the contents to me. On the platinum band of the ring was a flower made up of diamonds. Each petal had its own round stone around a set of smaller circular diamonds. In the center was another circular diamond, only this one was bigger than the few surrounding it. The whole ring was too much yet perfect at the same time; I was torn between grabbing at it and putting it on and telling him to take it back.
I don't know when it started, but, staring at the ring, my vision started to blur. I closed my eyes to remedy the situation, except it only made it worse as the reason for the change in my vision dropped onto my cheeks. "Jazz…"
"For my own selfish reasons I'm asking you to marry me."
I opened my eyes and fell to my knees. Pulling my remaining hand from his, I wrapped my arms around him and crushed him to my body. "So you'll do it? You'll…" My mind flashed to me standing next to Jasper in the window as the sun danced off our diamond-like skin.
"Yes."
"And that's how you propose to a woman," I spoke with tearful laughter as I pushed myself away to wipe the tears from my eyes. Jasper took the opportunity to slip the ring onto my finger. I stared at it for a moment, watching the diamonds pick up the light and turn it into a small rainbow of colors.
"I will always love you," he whispered.
Looking up at Jasper, my eyes caught sight of Edward. The unhappiness of his face cut me like my new diamonds would glass. I didn't need to have his gift to know what he was thinking. Bella. Charlie. Renee. The three other important people in my life would now be affected; I was setting the gears in motion, so to speak. I knew what I was getting into, but, at this moment, I refused to let the emotion of the situation get to me because I knew they would be fine. But what if they weren't? What if my decision changed the outcome?
I pushed the questions aside as I kissed Jasper's cheek. I didn't want to think that my love for Jasper would be the reason Edward would never have his. "For eternity."
When I looked back for Edward, there was only an empty space.