Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Ten
A small groan left the man who had accidentally slipped into full sleep on the training room floor. When awareness finally seeped back into him, he realized he was a lot warmer than he remembered being when he originally drifted off. Perhaps it had something to do with being drier than he had been all day. He'd had boiling water and ice water dumped on him, he'd been rained on, and then experienced the worst bath imaginable. Not being soaked to the bone was nice. Very nice.
Movement under his arm stirred him a little more and he realized that it was Timcanpy. The golem was snuggled up under his arm-close to his shoulder. He assumed it looked happy. It didn't seem to pitch a fit when he moved, nearly rolling over on it. Absently, he rolled over to his side. Sleeping face down felt great, but his neck was beginning to protest. Tim twitched at the sudden loss of warmth and Kanda rolled his eyes at it, taking it by a wing and dragging it closer to him and under the blanket before it started spazzing out on him again.
Wait...blanket?
He blinked and cleared his hazy vision, sitting up just a little. There was a dark blue blanket draped over him and Tim. Glancing around suspiciously, he took note of the missing pile of haphazardly dropped clothing. In its place, there was a set of dry and folded clothes.
What the hell...
His hands moved to the fabric wrapping his body and he glanced down to see he was still in Lavi's robe. A little wave of relief hit him. He wasn't tampered with in his sleep. Good. Stretching a bit, he felt a heavy tap against his back. The tapping continued every time he moved his head and he finally resorted to reaching back and pulling his hair forward. Black strands were woven together in a loose, heavy braid. Scratch that, he was tampered with and he could only guess who did it. Only Lavi would dare to even try. Of course, his hair was now dry, combed and neatly restrained. He wasn't too broke up about that.
Unfortunately, though, this meant the little motherfuckers managed to get into his training room and it also explained the reason why the sloppy pile of clothing was gone.
Of course, the thought did finally hit him that it also meant that the little bastards managed to not only move him from where he had been, but brush and braid his hair without even getting a response out of him. That thought was horrifying. They managed to do all of those things...without him waking at all. Just how hard was he sleeping? And how long for that matter? Looking down at the golden annoyance, he exhaled and lied back down on his side. Fuck it. He wasn't done resting.
He closed his eyes and turned his face more into the folded fabric that was supporting his head. The floor should not be that comfortable. Really. But he finally deduced that burn wounds, cuts and rage were a bad combination for his mental health. About the time he was slipping right back into unconsciousness, he heard the door click open. Whoever was entering, clearly wasn't trying not to be noticed.
"Wow, he's still asleep," a rich voice, laced with a tinge of annoying, whispered. This was easily determined to be Lavi.
"I didn't think he was serious about being tired. He never seems to show any give, you know?" The other voice whispered back.
He didn't move, but part of him was a little offended. A very very small part that got over it nearly immediately. Truly, he almost wanted to throw Tim at the beansprout's face and remind the little idiot that he was human too. Even if he was poor at acting like one. If acting human meant he had to act like them, then he'd pass on that. He wasn't soft and cuddly on the inside, but he was still prone to the downsides of being mortal. Being tired and distractingly hungry was among those things. His mental balance had been shattered by Timcanpy hijacking his life. And that was only for the duration of most of the day. If this was going to be a long lasting thing, then he was going to find a way to break that golem or they'd be finding his own corpse hanging from the ceiling of the training room.
"Yeaaah, I think we pushed a lil too much, beansprout."
"It's Allen."
Kanda decided he no longer cared and committed to remaining right where he was. They didn't know he was awake, which was fine with him. Timcanpy, on the other hand, seemed to notice. The golem inched closer to him until it came up on the folded fabric that was under Kanda's head and he just sat there. Once again, looking like—he assumed—happy, smushed ball. It rolled just enough to touch his face and he let out a subconscious "tch".
He tried to ignore the fucking thing on his face. Tim was curled to him while he was sleeping before, so what the fuck harm would it do? Unfortunately, being awake seemed to make the difference. He rolled over on his other side, eyes still closed. Unfortunately, this meant that he was facing the direction the two asshats were standing. So it suddenly became important to keep his face absolutely passive. Especially with Lavi; the numbnut who could read ever detail of his face.
A pounce over his shoulder almost made him groan. He knew it was Timcanpy trying to get over him and back to his face-well, he knew that was the creature's original intent. Somehow it ended up hopping down, falling through the open neck and cuddling inside the robe; flattening himself like a deflated ball against the edge of his ribs. This was not nearly as annoying as when it was in his face, so he left that alone. As long as it stayed at about where it was, they would be fine.
Before the second wave of sleep decided to take him, he decided that the robe he was in was no longer Lavi's. As the redhead's punishment, he'd just "gifted" it to Kanda.
Somewhere in the dark fog of his mind, he heard voices again. This time, however, he also felt hands against his face. This encroaching of his personal space made his eyes shoot open and he stared up at the offenders.
"The fuck you want?" he growled, his fingers wrapping around Lavi's wrist.
"Aw come on Yuu, I was actually getting a little worried about you. You've been sleeping for like eight hours. I was just makin' sure you didn't have a fever or something."
That long?
"How the hell did you get in here?" He grunted, pushing Lavi's damn face out of his own so he could sit up.
"Apparently, beansprout can pick locks."
"It's Allen."
"Great." He paused for a split second before spitting, "who the hell told you that you could touch my hair?" He glared Lavi down with hopes that eventually he would develop a super power that would give him the ability to set the redhead on fire with just that look.
"Wasn't me this time. That was beansprout," Lavi grinned.
"H...hey, don't tell on me, Lavi!" Allen frowned and kept himself at a distance. "I only did it because I felt bad!"
"Fuckin, soft hearted beansprout."
"Yeah and you're a dick."
"Biggest you've ever seen."
Allen gaped at that shockingly quick quip on Kanda's part and he couldn't help the mental images that were paying through his brain as reminders of the events of the day. Namely, Timcanpy's thievery of Kanda's towel. "B...BaKanda."
"Ohohoho, touché, Yuu," Lavi laughed at Allen's continued expression.
"And you shut the hell up," Kanda tossed more scathing words to Lavi. "You've already given me your robe; don't make that your life, too."
"Wait my ro-aww, Yuu, come on... Don't be like that."
"The moment you touched me, you gave up your rights." His hand shot out and gripped the fabric of Lavi's collar—pulling him close. "And if you call me that one more time, I will drag you back to the bath and drown you in it."
"BaKanda, stop being such a bitch." Allen recovered enough make such a statement blankly, voice strangely pleasant.
That pleasantness pissed off Kanda more than the words and he tossed Lavi bodily aside and leaped across the distance, tackling Allen with intent to kill. He held the startled boy down, straddling his chest and leaning own over him-his hair coming down over his shoulder and hitting Allen in the face.
"You. Are a little shit."
Allen groaned and struggled to breath with Kanda's weight over his chest. For someone who had just woken up, that damn man moved like lightning. The black braid that smacked him directly across the left eye made him let out another whine. His hair was heavy and he wasn't moving back, so Allen was stuck.
A movement between them caused the tension to break with a snap. Two pairs of eyes—and a nosy green eye—looked at the lump beneath the fabric in Kanda's robe. Somewhere around his side, Timcanpy was fluttering around—stuck in a pocket of space just above the belt of the robe. "Hey, hey, hey, knock that off in there, you little shiii…" Kanda bit his lip suddenly and tried not to react. He really did, but Timcanpy was fluttering into the wrong rib and it was causing him extreme discomfort in the form of an itching tickle.
He was turning into a horrible mix of pissed off, flustered and horrified. Grinding his teeth, he tried hard not to make any noise. His vision was going blurry and he prodded desperately at Timcanpy to get him the fuck out, but the little fucker was rolled up in the robe.
"BaKanda?"
"Shutupbeansprout," he grit and a little slip of a chuckle came through at the end.
"Are you…"
He pulled at the robe, trying to shake Timcanpy out, who seemed to be mistaking this action for play. "Isaidshutupyoulittlefucknut."
"…Ticklish?"
".Getitout."
"What?"
Kanda leaned forward, taking Allen's collar with a force that almost broke the boy's neck. "RemoveTimcanpyfrommenow,beforeIdismantleitforever."
Despite his intense claim otherwise, Allen could feel Kanda's toes curling against his legs at the moving lump in his robe continued to frolic against his ribs. This…he never would have expected. For a second, he sort of felt…bad for the man. Then he remembered Kanda expected him to remove Timcanpy…from his robe—in which he was wearing nothing under. "B…BaKanda, I can't, you're…"
"What!"
"Naked!"
"You'veseenitallanyway!"
All the heat in Allen's body pooled to his face at the memory. "…A…And you have my arms pinned!"
Kanda's leg hold on Allen's arms gave away and he glared him down until the boy pulled an arm free. The man wasn't moving much more than that—his back arching at the way Tim was prodding into his side. He could swear…he could swear he felt the little creep's tongue and it explained why he felt paralyzed with the fear of actually laughing out loud because of that particular ticklish spot. He'd rather look like he was being struck by lightning, than actually let a shred of humiliated laughter slip out.
"Don'tkillme," Allen grunted and pulled Kanda closer, letting go to get his arm into the fold of the robe and feel out Timcanpy amongst the sea of fluffy fabric. His fingers brushed against Kanda's side and he felt the man tense up again. Don't do that. "Come on Timcanpy, stop moving," he whined and dug deeper until he felt one of Tim's little wings. He took hold of it, but was met with resistance. A sharp spot of pain shot up his arm and Allen realized Timcanpy had bitten him! "Tiiiiim!" He cried letting go.
"Damnit,fucking,fuckitthisdidn'thappen!" Kanda growled and pushed Allen out of his way, pulling the bathrobe tie from its secure knot. The near tears building in his eyes from this torture via Timcanpy was too much, even for him. He opened the robe, keeping the bottom part as closed as he possibly could with one hand, while his other reached back and swung as hard as he could into the half exposed body of the golem that had apparently gotten its tail caught under the tie and simply couldn't get out.
Timcanpy catapulted out of the fabric and right into the side of Lavi's head. The redhead, who had been steadily laughing the entire time, was silenced and let out a pained yelp.
With a sudden burst, the training door flew open, "I heard screaming! Is everything…oka….y," a startled voice from the door way, began before it trailed off into something more stupefied.
"Everything's just fuckin fine, just go awa—"
"Oh hi, Lenalee. Everything's okay. He just wasn't finished giving Allen his lapdance!" Lavi added cheerily, giving the shocked girl a thumbs up.
Kanda saw red.
To Be Continued…
A/N: I'm breaking Kanda so hard LOL.
Your reviews make my life. Like, no, seriously. The mind shattering 24 reviews made my heart flutter.
Suki Miko: lol Kanda will never be the same. Styrie: It'll only get crazier. I promise.
EXO718: Boys will be boys! Moral, don't mess with Kanda when he has any semblance of an upper hand!
3 Akuma 3: Why thank you! JewelRinoa: They're tough boys~
WakeToSanity: I had to give Kanda something for his troubles HAH! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I cannot seem to stay away from sex jokes rofl. I'm so mature.
Chubby-king-chocobo: I have good luck like that lol! I hope I continue to please!
Raicheda: I don't know if I should be happy you're laughing or worried you're doing it while sick. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Stop it. Stay healthy.
Marufu-chan: He's getting something, xD poor Tim. UsuixMisakilover: :P I prefer Lenalee with Lavi, myself.
BunnySenpai: ….EW. I thought I was messed up D: Shadow Amarilis: Kanda's been shattered from the neck up, lol.
Fridayyythe13th: …Don't think of stuff like that D: I don't. I'm just the fucked up person giving everyone else the idea.
TheOtakuSupreme: I don't think I'll have a Komlin in here, too typical :P
Lotus Seed: Kanda is a combination of brain shattered and evil. A frightening thing.
Lazy Gaga: :D All the love. Have sparkles: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Flower mirage: I'm glad I could write that fic then!
LePetitErik: Hopefully it continues to make you happy : AkixYuseiGRL: Tim is a powerful weapon if Utilized.
Lingering Sorrow: Lol Lavi on his "hammer" just made me shudder and rofl at the same time.
Chariot of Chaos: :D Yay. I'm funny and a good way this time.
Darker Than Black12: It's a dish best served cold!
Simply anonymous: Sadly, this is not the last Kanda and Tim will see of the science department experiments XD
Yukaharu: LOL I would love to be there two. All the naked mens. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Moyashi:(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I love you, even if you think I'm insane.