Pinkie and the Pain – Battles and Breakthroughs
I do not own Glee
*This chapter begins after the phone conversation in Sectionals.*
Santana was staring at Brittany. Brittany was staring back looking more and more nervous under her best friend glare. Santana couldn't believe that the blonde had just blurted out on the phone about them having sex. Her mind was struggling to find a way to fix the situation. Santana wasn't too worried about the Glee kids, they were such low status any rumours started by them were easy for her to crush. What worried her was that Brittany had opened her big mouth as they passed Chad Rickman's locker, and she had seen the wrestling champion prick up his ears. Jock rumours were much more difficult to supress. She maybe had a few days before he worked out what it meant but eventually everyone would know about her and Brittany's little secret.
Next day, in Glee rehearsal, Santana was ready for Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie. Every time they looked her way she glared back at them until they turned away again. Thankfully, for Santana and Brittany at least, things blew up between Quinn and Finn, when Rachel told him who the real baby-daddy was. Much as it quite possibly destroyed their chances at Sectionals, it did give Santana some more breathing room to fix the situation with her and Brittany.
Brittany was mortified and kept saying sorry. The fact she did this by bringing Santana flowers and hugging her in the corridors, it probably wasn't helping as much as she hoped. Santana however couldn't really stay angry at her best friend for very long. She decided the first way to quell the rumours before they stared was to set new ground rules for school. So Brittany was faced with the prospect of no hugging, no hand holding, no locking arms, no shoulder rubs and definitely no resting heads on shoulders. Santana needed time to think, but Sectionals was that weekend, Coach Sylvester was constantly pestering her for the set lists and worst, 'Jewfro' was taking Finns place in the show. If he found out about her and Brittany, the creep had enough dirt on Santana to bury her.
…
They had won. They had won Sectionals. Despite Sue Sylvester's sabotage, despites Brittany's blunder, despite having to completely change the set list and dance routines; Finn had arrived just in time to save the day. Brittany was ecstatically happy, and despite the new ground rules, was clutching Santana's arm as they followed the rest of Glee Club back to the dressing room. In fact Santana, equally delighted by the win, realised Brittany was holding her back on purpose and she really didn't mind at all. Soon they were totally alone in the corridor. Brittany quickly backed Santana up against the wall. She was smiling and looking at Santana hopefully. After checking the coast was clear, Santana put her arms around her best friend's neck and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.
There was a loud clunk of an opening door. Santana pulling out of the kiss to see an open mouthed Jacob Ben Israel emerging from the men's room. With only a second to come to a decision, she grabbed Brittany's arm with one hand and Jacob's collar with another and pulled them both into the washroom.
"You didn't see anything!" she exclaimed.
"Oh I saw something." said a strangely smiling Jacob.
Santana's bitch stare suddenly didn't seem to be having the desired effect. Looking lower Santana saw a small bulge in Jacob's pants.
"That was pretty hot wasn't it. "coaxed Santana, taking a new tact and praying it would work. "Tell you what; if you agreed to keep this secret, Brittany and I will make out in front of you for five whole minutes."
"Wha-!" he squeaked.
"Five minutes." said Santana, meaningfully wiggling the fingers of her right hand.
"Ten." said Jacob, nervously trying to up the deal.
"Two." said Santana as a counter offer.
"Okay,okay, five."
"Then we have a deal."
He nodded.
Santana turned to Brittany who was looking bewildered.
"Are you okay with this?" Santana whispered
Brittany just nodded and went with it, she was sure Santana knew what she was doing.
"Um… can I take pictures?" Jacob asked, interrupting them.
"No." said Santana, never turning from Brittany. They made out for exactly five minutes. Santana kept an eye on her watch the whole time. When she and Brittany eventually pulled apart, Santana noticed Jacob had a desperate, if slightly pained look on his face. Santana wondered if she had stumbled on a way to control the rumours about her and Brittany.
"I think you have just solved all our problems, Jacob." Santana said looking at his pathetically aroused state. "And remember if you go back on this deal I will find ways to make you very sorry."
Leaving him to disappear into the nearest stall, Santana linked arms with Brittany and they continued to the dressing room. Santana felt a little cheap but it had definitely been worth it, now she felt sure she had a plan to keep them safe.
Brittany was wearing a bemused smile,
"Does this mean it's not a secret any more?"
"I'll explain everything later." whispered Santana, hurrying them back to the dressing room before they're missed.
…
Monday morning, the rumours had begun. Girls were already avoiding them in the changing room. Santana needed to act quickly. She found Chad Rickman by his locker first recess. She walked up to him in full super slut mode.
"Chad." she said running a finger seductively down his arm. "I hear you found out mine and Brittany's little secret."
The jock looked up a little scared, he was obviously waiting for Santana to punch is lights out. Santana smiled her patented sexy smile.
"Oh don't worry I'm not mad." she lied. "It's just Brittany and I were wondering if you fancied going on a double date; just you, me and her. You never know what the three of us might get up too!"
Chad's jaw dropped and he nodded excitedly.
"Pick us up at eight." said Santana before turning and walking away with a sexy strut.
The date involved dinner at Pizza Hut and then the two girls making out in the back seat of Chad's mum's station wagon for twenty minutes. Chad seemed perfectly happy with the arrangement.
…
It took three more double dates with jocks carefully selected by Santana before the rumours about her and Brittany grew more manageable. No longer were they a couple of dykes, but hot and sexy cheerleaders who were lezz-ing it up for the boys. Around half the other girl cheerios were soon copying, double dating the jocks; much to the delight of the football players and wrestling team. Then when Kelly and Petra insisted that actually it was them that started the whole double dating deal, Santana realised her plan had worked and that everything would blow over very soon.
…
There was just one person capable of ruining her happiness, Coach Sylvester. After the win at Sectionals she summoned Santana and Brittany to her office demanding that they find a way to destroy Glee; insisting that one of them date Finn Hudson. Santana was not pleased by this change of events; in fact she was very, very, angry. The trouble was you couldn't be angry at Sue Sylvester, she would quite happily destroy you, but the frustrated Santana needed to vent her fury somehow.
Brittany, recognising her friend's bad mood, was giving her some space. So an angry and now lonely Santana was sat on the back row in Glee club scowling at everyone. Mr Schuester had selected a new solo for Regionals, 'What You're Made Of' by Lucie Silvas, and gave it to Rachel. Santana finally found a focus for her rage.
For a long time now Santana had been upset by the fact that she and Brittany had been relegated to backing vocals, never being considered for the lead. Sure Brittany was a much better dancer than singer, but Santana was pretty sure she could sing Quinn and Tina under the table; and they had both got solos. Mr Shue chose to ignore her and constantly gave the leads to Rachel 'showtime' Berry. Well Santana had finally had enough. Rachel was just finished the first verse of the song and Santana stood up and took over the second verse. Rachel stopped singing and everyone turned to stare at her but Santana didn't care. She finished the song and sat straight back down, arms crossed.
"Where did that come from." gasped an astonished Mr Shue.
Santana scowled at him.
"Rachel's not the only one who comes here to sing you know." she snapped. "Only you never give the rest of us a chance."
Most of the glee kids nodded in agreement.
"I had no idea you had such a fantastic voice." Mr Shue admitted.
"Well." muttered Santana, slightly thrown by the compliment, "You should listen more."
Santana looked around the group, Kurt had a raised eyebrow; Brittany, Tina and Finn were smiling; Mercedes was exchanging looks with Puck and Artie; and Rachel looked a little put out by her interruption.
"Well you did an amazing job with that song." said Mr Shue, he looked across to Brad at the piano, "I wonder if we could work it into a duet?"
…
Feeling a little better about the recognition from Mr Shue, Santana went ahead with Coach Sylvester's plan. She got Finn on a double date with her and Brittany, that way one of them wouldn't get into trouble for not obeying the Coach's orders. She didn't put much effort into the date and it was the disaster she had expected, but as she didn't really want Glee to break up she didn't care. Sure Coach Sylvester was mad at her, but she knew she just had to withstand the storm until Coach found a new obsession.
…
That obsession came in the form of Madonna Madness. It was certainly catching, Madonna music playing throughout the school every day; wristbands with WWMD (What Would Madonna Do?) attached to every cheerio's wrist; Glee club doing Madonna numbers.
Then Coach Sylvester made her most insane announcement of all. She wanted a new head cheerio who was just like Madonna, and they had to prove themselves by dating a much younger man. Santana who though she had been doing a good job in the top spot realised that her and Brittany's security was once again under threat because of the track-suited megalomaniac and once again Santana found herself furious at Coach Sylvester. Being one of the youngest in the year, it was not going to be an easy thing to find a younger man.
Brittany wasn't exactly helping. Brittany was telling everyone about her seven year old boyfriend, and as Santana knew the dates involved nothing more than eating ice-cream and holding hands, she let it go. However when Brittany suggested she sleep with Finn, an increasingly desperate Santana found herself considering it. The guy was quite pathetic, but Santana realised he could do with a break, especially after the way Quinn and Rachel had treated him. The more she thought about it the more she realised it was her only option. Hell she'd slept with guys for less of a reason.
When she propositioned Finn she was less than tactful and she'd actually been quite surprised when he found her later and said yes. The event itself was hardly mind blowing, in a squalid little motel room at the edge of town. When Finn said it hadn't meant anything, she knew he was right.
Santana felt dirty for the first time in a long time. She had prostituted herself out on the say so of her cheerleading coach. She was disgusted at herself but Santana didn't get upset, she got even. She was furious; and the despair, unfairness and persecution of her entire life seemed to bubble to the surface and all of it was suddenly focused on Coach Sylvester. Santana was on the warpath and nothing was going to stop her give Sue Sylvester a piece of her mind.
Next morning, dragging Brittany along behind her, Santana burst into Sue Sylvester's office.
"Hi, your head whore here." She exclaimed. "I took the virginity of one Finn Hudson, a few months my junior but, you know, that's what you wanted, cause, hey it's what Madonna would do!"
Coach Sylvester looked up from her journal stunned at the intrusion.
"But it got me thinking." continued Santana. "What else would Madonna do?"
She roughly grabbed hold of Brittany and snogged her right there in front of the Coach. The blonde almost fell over as Santana, just as quickly, let go and swung back around to Miss Sylvester.
"Well, Madonna stuck her tongue down Brittany Spear's throat, not that worked out so well for her did it?" said Santana, she was now on a roll. "I could go and screw one of the AV kids, if you want; make my own movies, they can't all be flops! Because, you know, that's what Madonna would do."
Santana stopped to catch her breath and leaned over Coach Sylvester's desk to better make her point.
"Only that's not what Madonna would do, is it? Because one thing about Madonna is that she makes up her own mind and accepts her own mistakes. She is an independent woman and would never do something she didn't want to. So I am here to tell I am no longer going to play this stupid little game of yours! I am one of the best Head Cheerleaders you have ever had! I'm athletic, dedicated and smart, and won't take any crap off anyone. There is no one else in the squad capable of filling my shoes. I want to keep my position as Head Cheerio and I'm telling you what I want because that is what Madonna would do!"
There was a moment of silence and Santana tried to get her breathing under control.
"Fine you're Head Cheerio." said Coach Sylvester calmly, as if Santana had politely asked the time, "Now do you mind I'm quite busy."
…
Santana and Brittany stumbled out into the hallway, both suffering from shock.
"I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't have done that!" mumbled Santana over and over again.
Brittany suddenly smiled, finally registering what happened.
"Hey, you're Head Cheerio!" she exclaimed, "Congratulations!"
She embraced her best friend and gradually relaxing, Santana fell into her arms.
"Sorry about all that." Santana said. "I think I went a little crazy."
"That's okay. I do know why you do all this, you know." said Brittany. Santana pulled out of the hug to get a better look at her friend's face. "I know you look out for me."
Santana smiled,
"Well, you are my best friend in the whole wide world."
"I love you too." whispered Brittany.
Suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed, Santana quickly kissed Brittany gently on the cheek.
"Come we are going to be late for class."
Santana held up her little finger and after looking curiously at it for a moment Brittany linked it with her own. Not quite holding hands they set off down the corridor, ready to face whatever the world had to throw at them; the super-bitch, evil genius and her best friend.
THE END…
* I think this is the best place to finish, at least until we know how the characters evolve in season two.
Thank you to everyone who read my story, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for all my wonderful reviews.
I just started writing as something to do while I recovered from a busted knee – it has turned out to be disturbingly addictive. I am going to have a short break from Glee while I work on a couple of Buffy stories but I am sure I shall soon be back, possibly with the Glee club on a camping trip. TTFN*