Paul's POV
"Paul, I left okay? Just get over it." she says and I shake my head and sigh.
"I've tried, Jackie! So hard but I can't get you off my mind and any time I see a bird at a store or on the road, I can't help but think of you and how much I love you. Do you think I'd be here right now if I had gotten over it and found somebody else? You haven't found somebody else, have you?" I say and she shakes her head slowly while continuing to stare at the floor.
"If you really want me to leave, then tell me to, Jackie." I say boldly and she looks up to me with teary, sad eyes.
"I don't know what to do, Paul." she says softly.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Whether to be with you and if it's right to or not to be with you." she says simply and I nod to myself and I look down at my feet. How did it ever come to this? Why have we had such horrible fights that break us? Should I just leave her and stop trying to pressure her into coming back? I hope I'm not making it worse. Maybe I should just give up already and not make it worse for both of us.
"I'll be going then." I say and turn for the door but she grabs my arm and I turn around and she moves in and kisses me and my body is rigid and still. I didn't expect her to kiss me, because she broke up with me, but I kiss her back and ah have I missed feeling her lips against mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and I snake mine around her waist as we continue to passionately kiss as we're hungry for the other lips while we kiss fast and we back up to land on the bed. I get on top of her and she starts to unbutton my shirt. I immediately start to take off her clothes as I'm so attuned to do this with her, make love. We broke up, she broke up with me and now we're kissing and about to make love, how did this all of a sudden happen? I pull away from the kiss as much as I really hated to, to see her looking up at me with her bedroom eyes and I can't resist and smash my lips back against hers. I make sweet love to her and we fall asleep afterwards.
I wake up to her tracing patterns on my bare chest as my arms are wrapped around her with her laying on top of me after we had made love. I yawn and stretch and she giggles and I smile. She lays back down on top of me and I pull the blanket over us and wrap my arms around her a bit more snug. Is she mine again?
"Jackie, what does this mean?" I ask quietly as I run my fingers through her long hair as her cheek is against my chest and her eyes closed.
"I love you." she says and I smile to myself.
"I love you too, darling." I say and I kiss her head and I feel her smile against my chest.
"Are you my girl again?" I ask nervously and she lifts her head to rest it on my chest.
"Under some conditions." she says and I nod in understanding.
"You need to learn to cook so I'm not always doing it." she says and I grin.
"But I'll butcher it, J. All I can make is: pancakes, sausages and omelets!" I exclaim and she laughs.
"How about I um, teach you to make lasagna, spaghetti and mashed potatoes?" she asks and I nod since I especially love when she makes those things. She snuggles back into me and I tuck her head under my chin and I sigh and i lightly tickle the back of her neck with my fingers.
"Will you stop doing coke?" she asks me shyly.
"Yes." I say.
"Thanks, it means a lot." she says.
"Anything for you, baby. I'll try to cut down on drinking too, hangovers suck anyways." I say.
"I haven't done any or drunk at all this past week." I admit as hard as it was to not do that, because I knew one sip I took or one hit I took, I'd go overboard and just get deeper into it and numb myself with it and rely on it.
"I just don't want to lose you." I hear her say quietly.
"I know, love. And you won't." I say and she nods into my chest and I snuggle into her more and rub her bare back. I hear her sigh and we both close our eyes and relax there in each others arms as we're content, or I am at least. I hope she's happy.
"Jackie, are you happy?" I ask her randomly and she nods into my chest and I believe her.
"I'm sorry." I apologize again because I feel the need to and I want for her to forgive me.
"I forgive you." she says softly and I can tell what's hiding behind her words: I can only forgive you so many times and before long I won't be able to. I need to man up and stop being a dick to her and always treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
What I've always wanted to do ever since I realized I had feelings for her. If I keep hurting her, she won't forgive me and come back one time, where she'll get fed up and she can't come back. I thought this last time was it, because I was so hopeless, but I'm very happy that I tried, because if it weren't for that we wouldn't be back together now. I reach for the phone and dial Holly's number and I press it against my ear and keep my other hand on her lower back as her eyes are still closed.
"Hey Holls, it's Paul." I say and she asks if I had heard from her.
"Mmhmm, she's with me right now." I say quietly as I look down at her and lightly stroke her soft back. Holly sounds relieved, she thanks me and we both hang up. I close my eyes with her snuggled into my arms, finally.