Chase was searching the hallway, desperately trying to find House when it hit him that he might have disappeared into doctor Andrew's office – although he hoped this wasn't the case. He was very hesitant to knock on the door, knowing that Andrew had just went behind their backs and told Cuddy on them just for sneaking into his office – but then he heard a series of angry noises coming from the other side of the door.
Damn it. It sounded like House was in there, and he was probably giving the other doctor a hard time, thus making things so much worse for himself. Chase knew that he needed to do something even if that meant taking the chance of adding fuel to the fire once again.
He opened the door and was very startled to see what was going on – the two doctors were both on the floor, almost wrestling each other, and he was certain that House had started this. However, that moment it simply didn't matter to him because it was House that was the bottom one; he was down on his back on the hard floor, trying to fight off Andrew and Chase could tell by the blood running from his boyfriend's nose that he had already taken several punches to his head.
He began to shout and beg for them to stop, but none of them seemed to pay any attention to him. Chase threw himself on the floor as he wanted to break them apart, but nothing happened when he tried to pull Andrew away from House by grabbing his shoulders. Andrew shook him off aggressively and nearly kicked him in the stomach as well.
"Stop it! Get off of him!" Chase shouted from the top of his lungs. "Look what you're doing to him for God sakes – he's a crippled man, he's not even supposed to be on the floor. Do you want to make his leg worse?"
Chase could tell that this had Andrew hesitating for a second or two, but naturally, House had to go on and make everything worse by trying to kick him when he was looking the other way.
"That's it, you bastard!" Andrew screamed and started attacking House again. "I'm gonna make you pay for that!"
Andrew was using one hand to hold House down and the other to raise his fist over his head, but Chase finally managed to tackle him and throw him off before he got a chance to deliver any more punches. Luckily, this had the other doctor pausing instead of trying to fight back again and Chase was relieved to see that since he would have been the smaller one in this fight.
"House!" Chase rushed to the older man's side, scared to see how badly he was injured, but then he saw that House could sit up on his own and that was a good start. "Are you okay?" Chase asked him and threw an arm around his shoulders to support him.
"You better… get your hands off me…" House hissed angrily and scowled towards doctor Andrew across the room. "He doesn't like it… when two men touch each other…"
Chase looked at Andrew who immediately pulled a disgusted face.
"It's unnatural!" He shouted, trying to defend himself. "And I'm not the only one who thinks so."
"It's ironic when you consider… that you just had your dirty hands all over me!" House huffed and wiped some of the blood away from his nose and mouth.
"Watch your mouth!" Andrew cried out loud. "I've got a tape now that shows that you came in and attacked me in my own office. I could show it to Cuddy and the board if you don't keep your mouth shut, doctor House."
"Don't you dare threaten him," Chase told him angrily, "if you do that, I could always tell Cuddy how I came in and saw you attacking a crippled man who couldn't defend himself. You just kept on punching him even though he was on the floor, didn't you?"
"Hey, I wouldn't say that… I was losing the fight completely…" House remarked almost proudly, once again showing that he couldn't care less about the future consequences.
"Shut up, House, this is serious." Chase whispered and his voice revealed how annoyed he was.
"He started the fight," Andrew butted in as he supported himself against the wall, "he had it coming and I'm sure that Cuddy would agree with me if I showed her the tape…"
"You're not going to show her any more tapes," Chase snapped, "and if you do, I will make sure to let everyone at this hospital know that you're a homophobe and a backstabber and that you have no problem with assaulting crippled people. Let's see which of those will get you fired, shall we?"
Andrew continued to look angry and offended, but he kept his mouth shut from that moment on. Chase helped House up from the floor, but before they walked out of the office together, House made sure to leave something behind for Andrew to clean up; he spat on the floor, leaving red stains of blood spread all around him.
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
For once in his life, Chase was driving the car as the two of them headed straight home from the hospital.
"How are you feeling?" He asked House for the tenth time, probably. The nose bleed had stopped and he now knew that the blood in House's mouth didn't come from a knocked out tooth or anything of the sort, but from his tongue as he had bit it during the fight.
"I'm fine." House grunted. "If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy…" He joked.
"I did see the other guy," Chase sighed, "he looked much better than you."
"I could have easily taken him if I hadn't dropped the cane out of my hands," House snorted, "he was just lucky."
"Or maybe you were just stupid." Chase muttered and House realised that he was still upset.
"Cheer up, Wombat," he told him easily, "I think you managed to scare him into burning the video tape instead of showing it to Cuddy. I had no idea that you could be so firm and manipulative around other people. My little boy is growing up…" House joked once again and padded him on the knee. "I'm almost proud of you."
That was it. Chase knew that he simply couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore. He had had enough of this. He pulled the car over before House even knew what was going on.
"Hey, what are you doing?" House asked him confusedly.
"I'm telling you to stop joking about this." Chase said and turned to look at him. "It's not funny, House. It never was. How can you take all this so lightly? Don't you care about anything that has happened today?"
"Nothing happened today," House shrugged and pulled a face, "nothing we couldn't handle, anyway."
"Cuddy found out about us and told us to break it off!" Chase blurted out. "And your solution was to lie to her without talking to me about it first. You could have asked me what I wanted to do instead of just going along with it. I thought – I thought you meant it when you said that we were over…"
"Oh please, do you really think I'm that cold-hearted?" House grunted. "Do you really think that I would be mean enough to break up with you in front of Cuddy? Besides, would you rather have lost your job instead of telling her a white lie?"
"I don't know." Chase admitted. "Maybe. I'm tired of lying to everyone. I'm tired of hiding behind all your cover stories, Greg."
"So tired that you would rather lose your job?" House frowned. "I thought you loved your job."
"Don't you get it?" Chase looked at him solemnly. "It's you that I love. It's you that I don't want to lose."
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
When they were back at the apartment, House's leg began to hurt immensely. It was a sharp pain that had House gasping and he basically collapsed on the couch.
"I'll get your Vicodin for you." Chase said and looked at him worriedly.
"No." House told him simply. "I already took two pills in the car. I'll just have to wait for them to kick in."
"But you're trembling. You're really in pain." Chase could see that the older man was beginning to sweat, too, and he was well aware what this meant.
"Make me forget about it, then." House grabbed his hand and pulled Chase down on top of him, playfully.
"Careful," Chase warned him, "what about your ribs? And I'm sure you have other bruises now, too!"
"As long as you don't go near my leg, I'll be fine." House muttered and wrapped his arms around him so that he couldn't escape even if he wanted to. "Come here."
House initiated a soft kiss and Chase helplessly went along with it. He could feel House's strong arms pulling him closer and closer, but he was afraid to relax his body. He didn't want to cause him any unnecessary pain by staying on top of him, but neither was he able to change his position.
"Mm, you always had the softest lips, baby." House smirked joyfully.
Suddenly, Chase felt uncomfortable. Kissing and cuddling didn't seem right at the moment – there were so many things that they still hadn't talked about. The hearing had taken place just a couple of hours ago and Chase still hadn't been able to process all the things that had been said to the two of them.
"No, wait…" Chase whispered and tried to pull away slowly. "I really think we should talk before we do anything else."
"I'm not in the mood for talking." House answered him dully. "My tongue still hurts, remember."
"Then you ought to keep it out of my mouth." Chase told him straight. "You're not trying to avoid the subject, are you?"
"What subject?" House asked him lazily.
"Laura Hamilton."
"Oh no, I would never do that." House grinned. "It's just that this is so much more appealing. You know it eases my pain when I get to touch you, Wombat."
"You can't use that excuse every time…" Chase tried to stay strong, but he knew that he was caving in once again.
"But I'm in pain," House said pathetically just to mess with the kid's head, "please, just let me have what I want and I'll feel better."
"You can't always get what you want." Chase argued glumly.
"Well, I can." House breathed.
Chase didn't know what to say so he just let House pull him close once more by wrapping his arms around his neck. Another kiss was initiated and this time, Chase couldn't stop it from happening. As much as it made him feel guilty, the kissing went on for several passionate minutes and, of course, one thing lead to another. Before he realised how much strength House had regained, he found himself being pushed down on his back on the couch, his clothes being ripped off his body piece by piece.
House always got what he wanted, he realised as the older man had him gasping and pleading for more. Always.
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
"You're an idiot, Greg." Chase told him tiredly as they were about to eat that night. He finally decided to just come out with it instead of letting House change the subject for the thirtieth time.
"I'm sorry, what?" House frowned and began to eat as though the situation hadn't grown more serious. "Just a few hours ago you were calling me God – make up your mind already!"
Chase's expression didn't change. "It's not funny." He said and it felt like he was repeating himself over and over again. "I've been thinking about this and I'm beginning to think that Cuddy and the board were right. Laura Hamilton died because of us."
"Wait, what? How can you even say that?" House immediately dropped his fork on the plate. "For god sakes, the crazy lady killed herself! It had nothing to do with us."
Chase shook his head. "Cuddy was right. If you and I hadn't been so busy keeping our relationship a secret, we would have paid more attention to the case. We would probably have found the needle and then we would have known that she was suicidal. We could have gotten her some help or talked her out of…"
"You gotta be kidding me!" House exclaimed. "She chose to die, do you hear me? There was nothing you could have done to stop her."
"You don't know that!" Chase cried out. "If she had had professional help, then maybe…"
"She would still have done it," House cut him off, "because that's what suicidal people do. They only think about themselves. Since when do you believe in professional help so much? Do you think that professional help could have prevented your mother from drinking herself to death?"
"Don't bring my mother into this." Chase warned him simply without answering the question.
"I'm just saying that life is a choice. And she chose to quit. It's not something that you and I should be punished for." House studied the kid closely with his piercing blue eyes. He could tell that this was something he didn't like to hear.
"You couldn't care less about her death, could you?" Chase pouted and normally, it was something that House found particularly cute. Now it was just becoming problematic. "God, you really are an idiot sometimes, Greg."
House raised his eyebrows. "So – perfectly healthy woman kills herself and leaves her only son behind when he has already lost his father, and she becomes a saint all of a sudden. Me, I wasted hours trying to diagnose an illness she never had and then I get threatened by Cuddy for being involved in my own personal life, too. Yeah, I'm the idiot!"
"You don't get it." Chase said and stood up from his chair. "You could at least show some respect and take this warning seriously. Our relationship stole focus from a woman who was crying out for help and now it's too late. She's dead and we almost got fired. But all you care about is lying to Cuddy so that you can get what you want as usual. You're so selfish sometimes…"
"I am not!" House protested defensively.
"You even started a fight with doctor Andrew, even though none of this was his fault. Why the hell would you take it out on him? Someone could have gotten really hurt…" Chase added angrily.
"Hey, it was all his fault!" House objected. "He was the one who told on us in front of the board. It was because of him that Cuddy wanted to break us up, I hope you know."
"No." Chase shook his head again. "It wasn't his fault. It was my fault for luring you into his office when he was just trying to mind his own business. If you need someone to blame for Cuddy finding out, blame me. I was being far too reckless, and because of my mistakes, Laura Hamilton practically died right in front of me…"
House grunted tiredly. "All right, fine – let me tell you something, Robert. Let me tell you why I was trying to distract you earlier so that we didn't have to talk about this. It wasn't because I didn't care about the hearing, but because I knew that you would be doing this to yourself."
Chase paused when he heard this. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"I knew that you were going to take the blame for her death and I knew that you would let the guilt consume you completely, and I didn't want you to be reminded of that." House explained to him. "Don't listen to Cuddy and the board, Robert. We did not kill our patient and you need to accept that."
Chase knew that he now had a tear in his eye. This was getting too much. He didn't want to talk about it anymore.
"Maybe I feel too much guilt for what happened," he finally admitted to House, "but I also think that you feel too little."
House looked at his Wombat for a long time, waiting for him to apologize for what he had just said. When Chase said nothing, House asked him bluntly: "So you're not taking the whole "you're an idiot" thing back?"
"No." Chase's voice was like a whisper.
"Fine." House took another bite from his plate, but then he stood up to leave the table. "In that case, I know someone who's not getting lucky again tonight."
And then he grabbed a beer before settling down in from of the TV where he didn't have to listen to any more nonsense.
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
House was still in pain when the two of them went to bed. He had taken his Vicodin once again, but it didn't seem to work. He was lying flat on his back, kicking off the covers because he was annoyed and felt too uneasy to sleep. His entire leg was throbbing and he knew that this had something to do with his fight with doctor Andrew; if he hadn't fallen to the floor earlier that day, he wouldn't be in this much pain now.
"Is it still not better?" Chase asked him quietly as he lied down by his side.
House still seemed pretty mad about their conversation earlier, so he just grunted and shrugged as though he didn't care.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Chase touched the older man's back caressingly, but he was still ignored. "Can I get you something, baby?"
Suddenly, this had House snorting. "Did you just call me baby? I thought it was idiot?"
Apparently, that nickname had upset House more than Chase had realised. Chase bit his lip as he felt overcome with guilt for a moment.
"I'm sorry." He said as he embraced the other doctor. "I didn't mean it. Please forgive me."
House immediately pushed him away in an almost aggressive manner. "Don't lie to me. I know you meant it. Only a coward would try to take it back just to make peace with someone. Don't be a coward, Robbie."
Chase frowned. "Then what is it that you want me to do? You won't even let me touch you. Please, Greg, don't be like this…"
"I want you to sleep on the couch tonight." House told him straight, in a rather emotionless voice. "I don't think I can relax when you're around. Not tonight. I'd offer to take the couch myself, but you know – my bad leg and all that."
Chase stared at him disbelievingly. "You're kidding me."
"No." House turned his head and looked at him briefly. "I need to be alone right now in an empty bed. Can you please give me that?"
Chase struggled to supress a sigh and ended up grinding his teeth instead. "Fine. Since you asked me so nicely." He muttered compliantly.
He got out of the bed and took his pillow and one of the blankets with him.
"You know where I'll be if you change your mind." He said looking down at House but there was no answer. Just a grunt.
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
Three hours later, Chase was still awake. He kept shifting on the couch, trying to get comfortable. He could feel his body shaking with exhaustion. He barely even had the strength to keep his eyes open – and yet, he remained sleepless. He thought that he was going to lose his mind…
One hour later, he had managed to sleep for twenty minutes or so. But as soon as he surrendered himself to his dreams, he ended up regretting it. In the middle of another nightmare, he saw the blood-dripping, dead body of Laura Hamilton turning into his own mother and no matter how hard he tried to reach her, he knew that he would never be able to save her. He wouldn't be able to save either one of them. He felt so useless.
The second he realised that he was dreaming, Chase's body jolted as though a small shock had forced him to wake up. His mind returned to his own body, but once again, he found that he had been brought back to a false reality. The living room was pitch dark, but he still thought that he could see objects moving right in front of him. He wanted to back away, but his body remained perfectly still and once again, he was unable to even utter a sound or call out House's name. If only he could escape his own body…
When he finally recovered from his nightly paralysis, he felt so exhausted and desperate to get some rest, but at the same time, very scared to close his eyes and face his dead mother and the patient he couldn't save one more time. It was unbearable. It was torture. His body was beginning to fail him and all his strength had been used up. If he didn't get some proper sleep soon, he'd end up insane. And then House would leave him – which would make him fall apart and lose his job, too. He risked losing everything!
All his misery had driven him desperate enough to go to House's secret stash in the bathroom. He wouldn't just find bottles and bottles of Vicodin, but also a bottle or two of sleeping pills. Chase swallowed two pills without giving it much thought. He didn't care if this meant that he would wake up late in the morning. He felt like he might die without sleep – dreamless sleep, that was.
He grabbed the bottle and went back into the living room. He lied down to sleep but thirty minutes later, he realised that it wasn't going to work. The two pills weren't enough. So he swallowed another two and changed his position so that he was lying on his stomach. After a while, he was feeling drowsy as ever, but his body was still shaking in its restless state and he was far too upset to close his eyes. When another twenty minutes had passed, he decided to take two more pills.
He still couldn't sleep. He was so tired that he couldn't think straight and for that reason, he had forgotten just how many pills he had taken so far. He simply couldn't remember. All he knew was that they obviously hadn't worked yet.
And so he took two more. His hands were shaking so much that he could barely get the small bottle opened. He didn't care. All he wanted to do was drug himself to sleep. He just wanted the nightmares to go away – and it didn't matter to him how.
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
Luckily, House woke up early that morning.
Luckily, he walked straight into the living room instead of taking a shower first.
Luckily, he spotted Chase on the floor and got worried enough to rush to his side. All of a sudden, he had forgotten about the fights they had had.
Chase was lying on his side, curled up and shaking as though he was in pain. Right next to him was an empty bottle of sleeping pills.
"What the hell did you do?!" House cried out frantically as he fell down to his knees. He put his hand on the kid's shoulder and made him turn around just a little bit so that he could look at him.
Chase blinked and looked up at him with tired, red eyes. He looked feverish; his skin was dead pale but the sweat was almost running from his forehead.
"Greg," he whispered slightly pathetically, "I can't sleep…"
"You don't say!" House yelled back in his face. "You've emptied the bottle of sleeping pills and I know for a fact that it was almost full! What the hell were you thinking? Were you trying to kill yourself?"
Chase's expression remained blank and House wondered if the kid even knew what was going on.
"I didn't mean to." Chase spoke quietly and he sounded like a child who was about to get scolded by his parents.
"Right – I'm sure you ate them all by accident!" House huffed and rolled his eyes. "You're not even supposed to mix those pills with your anti-depressants, you moron! You've just made yourself a very dangerous cocktail – I'm surprised you're not out cold yet!"
"I told you, I can't sleep." Chase repeated miserably and now his voice was trembling, too. "Besides, I didn't know I had emptied the bottle. I forgot how many pills I had taken."
"In that case, you're an even bigger idiot than I am!" House told him as he reached for his phone on the table. "They will have to pump your stomach now, I hope you know."
This time, Chase didn't respond. He was beginning to struggle to keep his eyes open. House was looking the other way when he called for an ambulance, but the minute he hung up the phone, he noticed how quiet Chase had gotten.
"Robert!" House shook the kid by the shoulder a couple of times. "Robert, you need to keep your eyes open for me. Just a little longer, okay? Don't fall asleep now."
But naturally, the kid didn't react to this. He was only shaking lightly now which meant that his body was growing heavier and heavier. There was no way that House could keep him awake until the ambulance arrived. In fact, it was a wonder that Chase had even managed to stay conscious up until now.
House sat down on the floor and pulled the kid into his lap – something that also failed to wake him up. "I'm gonna make you pay for scaring me like this, Robbie." He whispered sadly in the young man's ear. "You better pull through or I'll never forgive you. Do you understand?"
And then he hugged him tighter than ever before.