I am always amazed at the amount of love this story gets when I always expect for each coming chapter to be hated!

Thank you all so much for your support.

It's strange, I actually don't like stories with OC's in them, however I found as I was writing this that no one else would fit right with Izaya in such a situation, I was originally going to have Kida with him in the business, however after deep thinking, I figured Jin would be a better pick, but as many have asked, who is Jin?

Jin was an old rp character of mine, who has been transformed to my new OC, Damien Trek.

Anyway, thank you all so much for reviews, they keep me going!

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Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, homosexual amazingness, mention rape.

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"I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for a moment that I'm one of them."

- Sherlock Holmes, BBC's Sherlock-

– –

Three Months After The Party

Izaya stared out the window, biting his lower lip as the comings of spring fell down from the sky, he bit his lower lip, a cup of hot tea in his hand. He heard the footsteps behind him and crimson eyes flickered over.

"You seem sad..." The blond whispered, moving to stand next to him in near perfect silence. Izaya paused before shaking his head, raven locks falling in his eyes. "You're healing well, Shinra will be happy about that... but why are you sad?" Shizuo truly did love Izaya, no matter what happened in their past, he didn't care, this was now... and Izaya was all he could see. He didn't know what had finally snapped in his brain to help him see, but Izaya...

Izaya was so different.

Docile almost, he didn't have that snarky laugh that drove Shizuo to madness, he didn't have those uncaring eyes that glared down your soul... He had changed and Shinra wasn't all too sure about it.

"I miss life.." Izaya sighed, staring at the humans he no longer cared about. He had gotten so much better since they had been taken from that awful place but he wasn't going to lie and say he didn't have nightmares damn near every night."I just don't feel like me anymore."

Shizuo nodded, he figured something like that would happen sooner or later, Izaya growing to miss his old self.

"How the hell did you even end up in a place like that, Iz? How did this happen to you... you were so careful-"

"Not careful enough." Izaya nearly hissed, making Shizuo raise a brow. "I didn't want to be there, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice, none of us did!"

He had seen a few of the people around town, saw how they were trying desperately to return to their pathetic little lives that he was trying to not care about...

But he did, that was what scared him, was that he cared completely for them, he wanted them to survive, he made sure they did. He may not have had the power now that he did three years prior but he could help the people just like him in the ways he could.

"How many were there?" Shizuo whispered, rubbing his back, he didn't know much about psychological help but he knew Izaya needed it, the raven could refuse therapy until his death but he had to talk sooner or later. Jin had been doing good about visiting his therapist... Izaya refused. Shinra had mentioned a few times that getting Izaya to simply speak about the events could lighten his burden.

"A little over a hundred... I... I didn't see them all..."

"But you heard them..."

Izaya let his eyes close to force the tears back, he couldn't be seen as weak, he was doing so well!

"I'm not here to judge you Izaya..." Shizuo said softly, taking Izaya by the hand and leading him to the couch. "I'm here because I care..."

"I-I heard them!" He sobbed, every scream, every slap and every wish for death... he heard them all, after his second year he had stopped screaming, he still tried to die, but after Jin arrived... well... he had to stay alive, he couldn't leave Jin without protection.

"I know..."

"You don't know!" Izaya shouted, making Shizuo jump back, Izaya had yet to raise his voice but Shinra said to not get mad... Izaya needed to scream, he needed to let it all out. "Y-You don't know... the sound of hundreds of screaming, crying children... the sounds of rape, torture and death... the thought that any moment could be your last and that your life isn't your own..."

Shizuo was shocked, he didn't think it was that bad, the injuries he had seen were horrific, but... but hearing it... it was a stab in the heart.

"To have your first time be a rape... to be a prostitute and give yourself away because if you don't... they'll shoot you..." Shizuo pulled him close.

"That won't happen again." He whispered, tenderly placing a kiss to his temple.

"Maybe not to me... but to someone else..."

And Shizuo had no words to help him... but perhaps speaking about it was better than nothing at all, and Izaya did seem lighter. The raven glanced up, Shizuo placing a hand to his cheek.

"Izaya..." He whispered, mocha eyes smiling at him, kindness pouring from him. "I... I know that we haven't always been friends, and I know what I said a long time ago..." Izaya rose a brow and Shizuo just shook his head before pressing their lips together.

The first thing he noticed was the warmth. He had kissed many men in recent times... but none had ever had such... warm, soft lips. The moment Izaya parted for air, Shizuo captured his lips once more.

Izaya, for lack of better term, melted.

He melted into Shizuo's embrace, slowly wrapping his arms around the man's neck. Perhaps it wasn't his first kiss... but by far it was his best.

"W-Why are you doing this?" He whimpered, his crimson orbs closed tightly.

"Because, I told you..."

Shizuo seemed to have a secret, a joke that only he knew. Izaya wanted to press before he smiled slightly. "You'll have to tell me again..." He whispered, sitting on his knees on the couch, staring at the man beside him, looking at him so lovingly.

"Someday, heal first flea, then I'll tell you." He smirked.

Incentive indeed.

– –

Jin slipped out of the apartment faster than he had in a long time, Kyoya was finally asleep and Jin needed a moment to breath in silence.

He missed his brother more than anything, however he needed a moment to think. Did that mean that... they actually cared? That he wasn't alone?

No... Shinra, Shizuo... Izaya... they had proven time and time again that they loved him, Izaya more than anyone, without the raven haired male, he would probably be dead, he probably never would have made it out of that dammed place alive.

He walked the dark halls, knowing very well that he should have been asleep by such an hour, it was nearly midnight and most everyone was asleep.

He knew who he had to see.

After everything they had been through, he had yet to really speak to Izaya since they left. His days were taken by Shinra's medical visits, finding a proper job in a place he felt safe in, which turned out to be a nice little corner cafe where he was sure no one would harm him.

He knocked on Izaya's door, assuming the man was fast asleep in Shizuo's arms like he should have been.

But his assumptions, per usual, were wrong.

The raven opened the door, fully dressed, staring down at him with soft eyes and kiss bruised lips, obviously he kept himself busy that night.

"Jin?" He asked softly, confused as to why the boy was even awake. "What's wrong? Is everything alright?" he asked in worry, stepping aside to let the boy into his home. He would let Jin in no matter the time of night but tonight he was worried, Jin seemed... slightly better to say the least but nothing compared to what Izaya and Shinra had hoped, they had wanted him to get better quickly, needing him to stay alive.

"I couldn't sleep..." Jin admitted, it wasn't fully a lie, but not one hundred percent truth. Izaya wasn't going to scold him for not telling the truth, he knew they had both been through enough to lie once or twice.

He let the younger in, closing the door quietly before going to the kitchen to get Jin some of the strawberry milk in the fridge that Shizuo adored but he found to be disgusting. Jin had a sweet tooth, he would like it. The cherry haired male took the cup in a silent thanks, taking a long sip.

"It still hurts." He whispered, making Izaya look up, cocking his head.
"I know..."

"It seems so fake... being alive, I thought it was a dream when we first left."

"I know..."

For a moment there was just silence until Jin sat down. "I can't do this anymore Izaya." He said shakily, unable to take the breath he needed, trying to not cry as he had done so many nights in a row. It was almost a year after their captivity that he found it silly and childish to still be this upset and he was sure Izaya thought the same.

"I know you can't..." Izaya said softly, leaning against the counter. "You're pushing yourself Jin... you're hurting yourself and it's not going to end well if you don't stop soon."

"When will it end?" Izaya simply shrugged. "Why are you alright when it hurts so much for me?"

The raven glanced up for a split second before his eyes fell again,

"I'm not... neither of us are... Jin, come to terms with what happened, we were kidnapped, we were sold. Raped. Objects... the sooner your realize that now we are alive... the sooner you can breath again."

Jin knew he was right, after all, Izaya was back to normal... well... back to being human... he figured a life time of being cold and heartless made the man heal faster.

"How can you stand it? Knowing what they did to you? To me? To all those kids we never saw..."

"Because I loved Ren."

Jin's head shot up, eyes wide. "What?!" He barked, unbelieving the man was being honest.
"I didn't know what kind of man he was then okay!" Izaya waved his horror away, looking down. "I... I was like... his little boyfriend after high school... I always sat in on negotiations and he treated me well enough at first. I started to hate him when he started cheating... I mean..."
Izaya slid to the ground, shaking a bit. "W-We weren't even together... but he... he was so kind to me... I hated him when he shoved me into that room with his clients... I was no longer his little boyfriend... I was his negotiation piece... that was when I knew what kind of man he was."

Jin supposed he could understand, Ren was an attractive man with a voice that could convince, he had Jin wrapped around his finger at one point as well, he was sure everyone started out like that with him.

"I can only stand it by realizing that the world is fucked up," Izaya continued, "I helped it become that way in my own special little way... the sooner you realize that... the sooner it will be to live again..."

Jin moved to sit beside him, staring at him with sadness in his eyes. Izaya pulled him close, no matter what, they had one another, he knew at least that wouldn't change. "We'll be alright." The raven whispered, "I know not now... but soon, okay?"

Jin nodded and curled up in his arms, trusting the man he came to think of as a brother and best friend.

They fell asleep like that on the kitchen floor, the strawberry milk forgotten on the table and the two holding onto each other, their only lifelines in a world so cold.

– –

They were inseparable, so Shizuo placed them together on the large bed he had just gotten out of, only to find his raven gone.

Shizuo dressed, taking a deep breath as he walked about his day, trying to find that perfect medium to feel normal.

Needless to say a lot had happened in his simple life, he was sure that no movie could compare.

Tom was excited to see him, the debt collector smiled happily at his good friend, pulling him in for a hug. Shizuo wasn't big on hugs, he had always been afraid he would crush someone with his brutish strength, however he gladly hugged back, happy to see the man as well.

"Where the hell have you been? Is it true? Did you really save those hookers?" He asked, he didn't know... exactly... who Shizuo helped save.

"Y-Yeah... I guess I did..." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Tom smiled, nodding as he sat down with his cup of coffee.

"Good... someone needs to help people like that, I'm just glad your back." He said happily.

Shizuo missed this normalcy.

– -

He helped the brunette male with whatever he needed, even ending up helping Tom move to a safer district, he greatly missed his old friend, pushing dead beats to pay their dues. He found himself wondering who did his job while he was away.

"So, really, where have you been?" Tom finally asked as the sun set and the two were left in the crowds of people, "Like I get the helping hookers thing but... it's been a while..."

Shizuo sighed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..." Somehow Tom found that hard to believe in itself.

"Try me."

So Shizuo told the man what had happened, how Ren Kaido, Jin, the hundreds of children in sex work now wondering the streets... and then Izaya.

"I figured you had a soft spot for him." The smaller male said absentmindedly. "I just thought it was one of those... calm before the storm things, or perhaps a twisted mutual respect... something more though?"

Shizuo nodded and refused to admit that he did blush.

Maybe he really didn't ever hate the raven haired informant... perhaps it was that sick, twisted fate of theirs that he was addicted to.

A bar seemed to be the best place for them to reconcile. A few drinks to loosen the mind and the lips and they told each other everything, Tom had been involved in a few things but gotten out before too much happened, Shizuo had been taking care of ex hookers.

Same old words, same old day.

And Shizuo loved every minute of it.

– –

– –

Izaya took a small breath as he pushed past the night time crowd, his fur trimmed jacket pulled tight over his body to hide his insecurities. He felt as if everyone was mocking him, watching him, however he knew it to be untrue. Most of these younger people were just children when Izaya was truly in his prime.

He felt like an old man just saying that.

He sighed softly, hearing the offers from men to 'show him a good time', he heard the girls giggling and a few drunk ladies even tried to touch him.

He didn't like to be touched.

He hailed a car, needing to see his beloved Shinjuku again, to see his beloved home. It had been so long that he wondered if they had torn his building down, it wasn't like the neighbors would mind...

And Namie... what became of her? He hadn't even thought about her, nor had Kida or Mikado crossed his mind, he had remember Mikado's name during his lonely years when he thought on everything he had left behind.

He wondered where they were or if those people were still alive.

The driver looked to Izaya and smiled, an older man, perhaps in his thirties. He knew the raven...

"Where to, Mr. Orihara?" Izaya smiled, at least someone could be kind in such a dangerous world.

"The penthouse apartments... please." He whispered, looking back at Ikebukuro. He knew Shizuo and Shinra would be mad he just left but this was his life...

and for once, he was going to live it right.

– –

Chapter nine anyone?

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I am writing it! I wanted to give our lovely babies ONE calm chapter before the shit storm I have planned.

I want Izaya to be like... I can go back to my old life... or stay happy with Shizuo...

and Jin...

Oh Jin, I have plans for you!

Tell me what you think will happen~

Thank you for reading!