Authors Note: So this is the penultimate chapter, next one will sadly be the last. Thanks to conche, Everyone-Loves-A-Canadian-Girl, terriberri23, Runner043, afrozenheart412, DreamerChild88 and Storywriter for the reviews, you guys are all super awesome!

Chapter 10

When she'd gotten up that morning she hadn't been able to believe how quickly time had gone since she'd booked her psych eval. She'd booked it a week ago and since then time had flown by. Then she'd been hit with the nerves and despite Don's assurances that she wasn't going to say something to screw it up she hadn't even been able to look at her breakfast for a good twenty minutes. Don had taken the morning off so he could drop her off for her appointment and pick her up again afterwards. He'd made her eat a slice of toast in the car and then handed her a soda when they arrived, telling her Lindsay and Stella had instructed him to give her sugar before the appointment. She'd laughed as she remembered their conversation on their girl's night in and had left Don to wonder why it was funny.

He'd offered to stay with her until she was called in but she'd insisted she would be fine and she'd call him as soon as she got out. He'd kissed her quickly and then left, he was going to the diner down the street to eat and work on the cross word puzzle Jess had challenged him to complete without help last week when he'd laughed at her doing them during dinner.

"Detective Angell?" a woman questioned and Jess nodded, standing from the seat she'd been waiting on and shaking the woman's outstretched hand. "I'm Dr Katie Silvers, why don't you come in and we can get started?"

Jess followed her and took a seat on the couch as Katie grabbed a small note book and pen from her desk and sat down on the chair next to her. She was younger than Jess had been expecting, new to the department but she'd heard one of the guys who'd had to see her after he'd fired his weapon at a seventeen year old boy who'd been holding his sister at gun point. He'd had nothing but good things to say about the young therapist. She made small talk for a few minutes and it seemed so innocent Jess was almost fooled into relaxing.

"Alright Jessica, I've had a brief read through your file, why don't we start with you telling me what happened a few months ago?" Katie questioned and Jess nodded.

"I was shot while escorting Conner Dunbrook, we stopped at a diner for breakfast and a bunch of guys with guns crashed into the place and I was hit," Jess summed up, memories from that day coming back more painfully than she'd been expecting.

"What happened then, after you were hit?" Katie questioned and Jess took a deep breath, pushing back emotions she didn't want to be dealing with.

"The police arrived pretty quickly and I was taken to the hospital," Jess stated, she knew she was getting cagey now but she hadn't expected her feelings about that day to still be so raw.

"You weren't taken in an ambulance, Detective Flack rushed you there, why didn't he wait for the paramedics?" Katie questioned, finding an alternate route to the answer she wanted and for a moment Jess decided to hate her because she hadn't been feeling this bad about it before she'd come in here.

"There wasn't time to wait for the paramedics, I was bleeding out," Jess told her knowing the woman already knew that.

"Detective Flack got you to the hospital and you were briefly pronounced dead, isn't that correct?" Katie asked and Jess nodded, clasping her hands together in her lap as she leaned forward on the couch.

"My heart stopped whilst I was on the table, they struggled to get it going again," Jess explained and Katie smiled and nodded as she wrote something down.

"You being here is something of a miracle then," she stated looking back at Jess who didn't respond, just waited for the next question. "What happened after they got your heart started again?"

"Why am I telling you all this, you already know it?" Jess questioned.

"Because you need to say it all for yourself," Katie told her. "To come to terms with it you need to put it all out there and deal with it, not push it to the back of your mind to fester because one day it'll sneak up on you."

"I slipped into a coma, for three months," Jess told her.

"How did you feel when you woke up?"

"Scared, confused, I didn't understand what was happening," Jess replied, thinking back to those first few minutes of consciousness when she hadn't known what was going on or why she was in the state she was. All she'd understood was that she was in pain and she was scared, all she'd wanted was Don, for him to come and help her because there was nothing that made her feel safer than him, even if she hadn't understood that at the time. "One of the nurses explained everything to me and my family were called."

"How did you feel when you were told what happened, that you'd been shot, pronounced dead briefly, in a coma for months?" Katie asked her and Jess sighed, the questions were getting repetitive but if she could just make it through this session she'd be back to work in no time.

"Upset, angry, disappointed, scared," Jess listed off.

"What were you angry at?"

"The people that shot me," Jess replied and Katie wrote something down again, she couldn't see what it was which she really didn't like, it felt like knowing someone was whispering about you behind your back but not able to hear what they were saying.

"What else?"

The question threw Jess slightly, who else would she be angry at? "The Dunbrooks, I guess. If it hadn't been for them I wouldn't have been there, I wouldn't have been shot."

"What else?"

Jess thought for a moment, opening and closing her mouth a couple of times. "Nothing, that's it."

"That's not true, you're angry at someone else, who?"

"No one, that's it, who else would I be angry at?" Jess questioned, not understanding the line of questioning.

"You said you felt disappointed when you found out what happened, that's not an emotion you would usually feel about someone you don't know shooting you. Why were you disappointed Jessica?" Katie asked her and Jess shook her head, not knowing the right answer. "You do know, you just don't want to say it out loud, why were you disappointed, who else are you angry at?"

"No one," Jess said, her voice rising slightly, she was getting frustrated.

"Who else are you angry at?" Katie pushed.

"I don't know," Jess replied her voice rising a little more.

"You do know, who else are you angry at Jessica?" Katie questioned, her voice rising as well but it was still calm, lacking the frustration and the anger than was in Jess's. "Who else are you angry at?"

"Me," Jess shouted, not realising she'd said it until the word was out of her mouth. She blinked back tears as she realised what Katie had been trying to get at and sank back against the couch. "I'm angry at me."

Katie nodded. "Why?"

"I shouldn't have let it happen, I was distracted, on the phone, if I hadn't been I might have seen them coming, done something about it. I should have been better but I wasn't and I got myself shot," Jess told her, remembering the thoughts that gone through her head back when she'd still been in the hospital, thoughts she'd forgotten about.

"You think you could have prevented it?" Katie asker her.

"Yes."

The rest of the session was much easier after than but Jess didn't know if she felt better or worse when she left. She and Katie talked through what she could have done differently on the day but Jess hadn't been able to definitively say it could have worked out any different. They'd talked more about it, then about the nightmares she still had on occasion, about Don and her support system and about her physio. Then they'd moved on to talk about her return to work and what it would involve, what it would mean.

She called Don as she walked out of the building, taking a deep breath of fresh air as she hung up, trying to sooth her rattled nerves. It had been harder than Jess had been expecting and she had a feeling Katie was going push her even more next session but maybe that would be the worst of it, she hoped it would be. Don came walking up the street to meet her and she gave him a tired smile as he reached her.

"How'd it go?" he e questioned and she shrugged.

"She's going to let me get back to work, restricted duty, and she wants to see me once a week from now until, and I quote 'I say otherwise', but restricted duty is better than no duty," Jess explained and Don smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they started walking down the street.

"You look like you've been through the wars in there," he told her, concern in his voice as he looked at her.

"She brought up some issues I wasn't quite ready for and the ones I was prepared for were a little tougher than I'd expected," Jess admitted, she didn't want to go into detail about what had been said in there and she knew Don wouldn't push, still, she felt he deserved something.

"You're alright though?" he asked her and she nodded and leaned into his side.

"Just tired... and hungry," she replied.

"I'm not surprised, all you ate this morning was a slice of toast and don't think I didn't see you throw part of that in the trash when we got out of the car," he told her and she smiled, she'd been too nervous too eat. "I've got a couple of hours before I have to be at the precinct, let's go get something to eat and then I'll take you home."

"Didn't you eat at the diner?" Jess questioned and he shook his head.

"Nah, I knew you'd be hungry when you got out so I just got a coffee and did the crossword, I've nearly finished it by the way," he told her tightening an arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the diner.

Jess was excited, it was something she hadn't been in a while, even her escape from the hospital hadn't felt this good. She was going back to work, granted it was just to sit behind a desk and she was only allowed to be there for a couple of hours but the captain had finally taken enough pity on her to let her come back for a few short shifts. She pulled on her boots as she heard a knock at the door and went to answer it.

"Hey," she greeted and Danny gave her a smile.

"Hey, yourself, ready to get back to work?" Danny asked her. He'd offered to come and pick her up since Don had gotten caught up in a case, interviewing college girls that were probably connected to a murder in their dorms. He'd called her an hour ago to let her know that Danny would be giving her a ride to the precinct instead and he'd apologised six times in less than three minutes. He was pretty upset that he wasn't going to be there for her first day back, that he wasn't taking her in but she'd told him he could find plenty of ways to make up for it she was sure.

"Just about, let me grab my jacket," she replied and walked through to the bedroom. She felt a twinge of pain in her shoulder as she reached up to grab it but it was nothing on what she had been feeling this time last month. She slipped the jacket on as she walked back to Danny, grabbing her purse and keys along the way. "Now, I'm ready."

She left the apartment, locking up behind her and followed Danny down the stairs.

"You know, a little less than a month ago I was helping you to walk up these stairs," Danny pointed out and Jess gave him a smile.

"You may be helping me up them later yet," she replied knowing the day was going to take it out of her but she was more than ready for that. The two of them got in his car which he'd conveniently parked right outside the door. "I really should thank you Danny, you've been really great over the last few months and everything you said to me back in the hospital... if you hadn't given me that kick up the ass I'm not sure I'd be here."

"You'd be here Angell, you'd have found a way, I just gave you a much needed nudge," Danny replied "But you're welcome. I told you back then, when it was me, I needed the same kick up the ass and I know after the bombing, Don needed one too. I was there when Mac and Stella gave it to him; they weren't nearly as gentle as I was."

Jess laughed, she'd heard that story from Don. "So what should I be expecting when I get there?"

"I don't know what you mean," Danny played innocent and Jess raised an eyebrow at him. They eventually arrived at the precinct and Jess followed Danny inside, taking a deep breath before she walked into homicide. It was as busy as usual but everything stopped for a moment as she walked in, several people started clapping, followed by everyone else, including the captain. Jess picked Danny to focus her glare on and he shrugged.

She made a quick round of the room, shaking hands, being clapped on the back, one guy clapping her on the shoulder too hard which got him a glare from Danny. It was only a few moments and everyone quickly got back to work but Jess realised just how glad she was to be back. The captain was waiting for her by her desk when she finally made it there.

"It's good to have you back Detective Angell," he told her and she nodded with a smile.

"Thank you sir, it's good to be back," she replied and he gave her another smile before going back to his office and Jess sat down.

"And I'll leave you to your paperwork and phone calls," Danny laughed and left before Jess could hit him.

Don and Mac were on their way to pick up a suspect, it had been a crazily busy day and neither man had been given much opportunity to stop and breathe. It was a fifteen minute car ride to the suspects apartment and Mac was driving so Don took the opportunity to pull out his phone and call Jess. It had been a week since she'd gotten back to work and she'd done a few short shifts in that time though, she was pulling a slightly longer one today though and he hadn't had the chance to check in with her.

"Angell," a tired, exasperated voice answered.

"You sound like you're having fun," Don replied and when Jess spoke again her voice was a little more alive.

"I've been fielding phone calls from Jersey PD all day, add to that the phone calls I've been making for your case and the amount of paperwork that has been sent my way, I'm going crazy," Jess replied and Don smiled.

"You knew a desk job was going make you crazy," he pointed out and heard her sigh on the end of the line.

"I know, it's driving me mad and this is only my fourth shift," she stated. "I like feeling useful again though, I like being back even if it's just stuck here making phone calls. It's far better than being stuck in the apartment all day."

"I'll bet," Don replied, he remembered his own brief encounters with desk duty, he'd hated it but he'd take it over being stuck at home all day.

"Where are you anyway?" Jess asked him.

"Mac and I are on the way to pick up our suspect, his finger prints were all over the murder weapon," he replied. "How are you doing?"

"I'm exhausted," she admitted. "My shoulder and my stomach are starting to ache, yes, I already took my painkillers. At the moment I'm just looking forward to our shifts ending so you can come and take me home."

"Well, we organised it so your shift would end at the same time as mine and if this guy is where he's supposed to be then this case she be pretty much wrapped up by then," he told her, hoping it was going to be that easy. Her use of the word 'home' was not lost on him either, it was something they were going to have to talk about eventually but neither of them seemed prepared to break the status quo.

"You know, Lindsay stopped by earlier and she was talking about Titanic, don't ask why, but now I've got the weirdest urge to watch the movie so can we stop by the DVD store and get it later?" she questioned as though she was actually asking for his permission.

"But it makes you cry," Don replied, getting an odd look from Mac.

"Please," she pleaded and he could practically see the pout on her face that she knew would get her what she wanted.

"Alright, yes, we can pick Titanic up on the way home. We're almost there so I should probably go," he told her and he heard her sigh again, he felt bad for leaving her to her suffering alone. "I'll talk to you later."

He hung up then and slid the phone back into his pocket, it had been a bad, busy day but talking to her had helped.

"Titanic?" Mac questioned in amusement. "Crying?"

"She can't get through that movie without crying her eyes out," Don told him, shaking his head and making a mental note to pick up some extra tissues.

"I didn't have her down as they type of person to cry at movies," Mac stated.

"You should see her watch Marley and Me," Don replied, grimacing.

"How's she doing now anyway?" Mac asked him.

"Desk duty is driving her crazy but she'd happier there than she was at the apartment all day," Don replied and Mac nodded.

"I can imagine, I might have been wrong about crying at moves but I don't think she's the type to sit still for long," Mac replied and Don laughed.

"You have no idea."

TBC