A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!! I'm glad I brought some laughter and some brightness with my last posts. The feedback gives me some much needed brightness too!

Sorry I didn't get this post up earlier today; ... I spent more time revising this part than I expected.

We left Harm and Mac out on the Admiral's porch. … During this calm before the storm, Harm is giving Mac a much coveted (I'm sure) massage. -- Teacup

I See – Chapter 10

"You remember the last time we were out here?" Harm asked, easing up on the massage he was giving Mac's neck and shoulders.

Opening her eyes, Mac answered, "Pretty hard to forget."

"You were pushing me hard for answers that night," Harm noted. "How come?"

Mac considered that maybe part of her had been looking for a last chance admission from Harm that would have made her change her mind about Mic, but she wasn't ready to admit to that.

"I was … looking for closure, I guess." That was true as well. She had probably wanted one or the other.

"Did you get it?" he asked.

"No." She had gotten more questions than answers that night. Mac suddenly saw the parallels to this night. Only Harm had been pushing her this time. Maybe he was looking for closure now. Define their boundaries so they could move on.

Harm interrupted her thoughts, as he reflected, "It's a good thing no one caught us that night …"

She knew he was referring to the kiss. "Yeah."

"Can you imagine what would have happened?" he asked with some amusement.

"Mic probably would have hit you," Mac said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, he would have taken it out on me," Harm stated lightly, but with a trace of leftover animosity. "Even though you were the one cheating on him," he pointed out.

Offended, Mac immediately pulled away from Harm and turned to face him. "Cheating?? I didn't intend …"

"Well, you were the one who kissed me," he automatically fell into his old pattern of defending his statement.

"It was an innocent kiss. You were the one who took it to the next level," she insisted.

"You didn't exactly resist me," he began to argue. But then seeing Mac's reaction, Harm came to his senses and regretted upsetting her again. He quickly backpedaled and ended the argument.

"I'm sorry, Mac. It was my fault. What happened that night, … the way I kissed you, was … a mistake."

Mac's stomach lurched. He thought kissing her was a mistake? Okay, so on some level she knew that they shouldn't have kissed that night, but to hear him say it … seemed very much like … an ultimate rejection.

Harm saw the wounded look appear on her face, and he immediately knew she had taken that comment the wrong way.

"Yeah, … I'm a mistake," she muttered sorrowfully.

"Mac, …"

"No, Harm. You're right. … And, I should really get ready to go home." She turned toward the door, trying to get a handle on her feelings long enough to make a decent farewell to those inside.

Frustrated, Harm called after her with sharp accusation, "You're running again, Mac."

She stopped. Only Harmon Rabb could create in her a state of peaceful bliss, then painful despair, followed by vehement anger, … all within the space of two minutes. He had constantly been accusing her of things lately, and she didn't like it. Especially since he was right. That made it hurt all the more.

"But what are you running from?" he persisted. "Is it me? Is it us?" His tone was harsh and impatient.

"Oh, you're one to talk!" she exclaimed, finally turning things back on him. "Fine, Harm. You've been wanting to say something all night. Spit it out!"

There was fire in her eyes as she laid out the challenge. If Harm wanted to have it all out, then so be it. She might not want to hear what he had to say, but she'd be damned if she was going to let this be an attack on her … or some one-sided interrogation. He was the one with an agenda, so he was going to have to be the one to speak his mind … if he could.

Harm stared at her, surprised at her about-face and not quite sure how to proceed.

After fifteen seconds of silence, she declared, "I didn't think so." She was giving him a piercing stare. "… You can dish out accusations, Harm, but when it comes down to it, when it's your turn to step up to the plate, … you're a coward."

Mac had intended on going inside to give her regards to Francesca before leaving, but right now, she just needed to get out of there. She'd just have to deal with the consequences of being impolite later. She started down the porch stairs.

"Mac, wait!" Harm called.

She stopped on a step, but did not turn back to him. "Why?" she asked.

"You know why," he insisted.

She shook her head and glanced back at him over her shoulder. "No, Harm, I don't."

After another space of silence, she started down the driveway, which prompted Harm to call out again. "Mac, don't walk away from me. Please?" He was standing on the steps now.

She ceased her gait again and turned to look back at him, but stated, "I need to walk away right now, Harm. … Before we hurt each other any more."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't go, Mac. The only reason I'm hurting tonight is because I've hurt you. I need you to let me set things straight."

"I'm fine, Harm. You don't need to feel guilty." She turned again to leave.

"It's not about guilt. It's … about love," he declared, not quite knowing where the words came from.

She froze at his use of the 'L' word.

"Sarah," he pleaded, "If you love me at all, … and … I think you do, … don't walk away from me."

She turned to face him with a look of utter disbelief. She didn't think he'd ever use the word 'love' in a sentence directly connecting the two of them. If it wasn't just him pegging her feelings for him, it would have been music to her ears.

But this …? Was that what all this was about the past few days? He had found out that she loved him and was now trying to confront her on it? Damn it! That's exactly why she didn't want him to find out. He was either going to try to let her down easy and embarrass the hell out of her while breaking her heart, or he was intent on giving her attention out of pity. She didn't want either!!

It was entirely overwhelming her, and right now, her brain and body couldn't handle the implications of this development or the myriad of emotions storming through her. So she coped by focusing on an issue that she could handle and fell back on the familiar feeling of anger. How did he find out her secret?

The only one who knew, … the only way Harm could have become so enlightened … was through … one Commander Sturgis Turner. She was going to kill that man!

Harm tried to read Mac's expression. He knew that he had continued to do the wrong thing all night, and his last outburst was no exception. He had been confrontational with Mac, accusing her of jealousy, and of running, and now, … of loving him.

But he hadn't opened up to her at all. He had put her entirely on the defensive, and he knew that if he didn't take Harriet's advice to be honest with Mac and expose his own delicate heart, this whole thing would be blown, … if he hadn't already ruined everything.

He watched as Mac's face changed from expressing shock, to vulnerability, and finally to fury.

That was the emotion she ran with. "Sturgis told you," she uttered. The rest followed in rapid crescendo. "I can't believe he broke my confidence! … I trusted him, and he lied to me. … I am going to kill him! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind, and then I'm going to teach him a lesson … Marine Corps style!"

Harm stood on the stairs in sheer confusion. Mac had every right to be mad at him for how he had pushed her tonight, but instead she was getting ready to kill Sturgis? What the hell had Sturgis done?

Harm sorted through what Mac had said: Sturgis broke her confidence by telling Harm something. Harm vaguely remembered a few days earlier when Turner was in his office hinting that he knew about how Mac felt. He had said something about being sworn to secrecy. And Mac just flipped out now that Harm had accused her of loving him.

It all fell into place. Mac had admitted to Sturgis that she was in love with her 'Flyboy.' Harm was at first filled with relief that he now had another piece of evidence that she did love him. But then he became saddened by the fact that she had not felt confident or comfortable enough to let him know.

She had told Sturgis but swore him to secrecy? Was she terrified of how Harm was going to react? How could she be? Didn't she know that he loved her more than life itself? Did she think he would reject her?

Images of Sydney suddenly came to his mind. Of course she would fear rejection. 'Stupid, Rabb. Stupid, stupid, stupid,' he chastised himself. She was as scared as he was. He had been afraid of admitting his feelings to her. Never willing to let on what he wanted with her unless he could get some sense of what she wanted first. And now he had that … sort of. But she didn't have the same from him. So, fearing heartbreak, she had every reason to want to avoid this.

Maybe she honestly didn't want to be with him, Harm conceded to himself. But if she thought she loved him, then that was a heck of a good start. He knew it was up to him to take the next risk, to open himself up.

Meanwhile, Mac continued her fuming and resolved to confront Sturgis there and then. CO's house or not, Turner was going to be put on notice of the wrath of this Marine. She determinedly strode back toward the house, ignoring Harm altogether.

Along the way she was muttering, "That untrustworthy, … lying, … big-mouthed, … stinking, stupid squid is so dead!"

"Mac." Harm grabbed her arm gently as she passed him and followed her up the steps. "Sturgis didn't tell me anything …"

She halted, but she didn't believe that for a second. She knew Sturgis had talked to Harm, and now suddenly Harm knows her secret. It didn't take much to connect the dots.

Harm continued, "… except that I should open my eyes about how you feel about me, …"

Oh this is worse! 'I'm that obvious?' Mac thought. He figured it out on his own? She felt like a complete fool.

"… and open my mouth about how I feel about you," he finished.

That stopped Mac's wandering thoughts. She was paying full attention to this.

"If anyone is a stinking, stupid squid," said Harm, "… it's me. … For not having told you how I feel."

Mac stared up at him, anxiety in her eyes. One way or another it looked like Harm was going to admit something about what was going on inside of him when it came to her.

----

TBC …

A/N: I know it's a cliff hanger. Will post the next part tomorrow night.