Disclaimer: See last chapter

~ Chapter Nine ~

JJ looked down at her arms, tears falling down her face, she had no idea which was worse – sitting here waiting for him to do something to her, or sitting here after being hurt by him. She shook her head, at least she was safe – this way, when Hotch came to get her, she would be okay. She hoped.

She looked over at the desk in the corner of the room, walking over to it slowly as she picked up the diary he had left for her to write in two weeks ago. She sighed at the thought, two whole weeks had gone by and still nothing.. the team hadn't found her yet.

She sat down on the chair, picking up the pen and started to write in it, just like she did every single day. She bit down on her lip hard as more tears fell down her face, she didn't want to be here and if he stayed true to his word, she had two more weeks left.

She looked over in the corner of the room where he had put the television, people were looking for her, it was all over the news but she knew that the reports would soon die down and then they would start fading away completely. And then she would be nothing but a memory, a memory that turned up in the papers once every six months just to say that she was still missing. What had happened to Jennifer Jareau?

She shook her head, what was going to happen to Jennifer Jareau? He scared her even though he hadn't done anything to her, he didn't even touch her without asking her permission first. That was what scared her the most, if she wasn't here so he could hurt her, then why was she here?

She looked down at the page in front of her, writing slowly as she thought about it,

It's been two whole weeks and I am still here – I don't know what he wants from me. Does he actually expect me to love him? Does he not understand that I love Aaron? Does he not understand that by taking me away from everyone I love is only hurting me more than he could ever imagine?

I just want to go home, I just want to be around my own things, I just want Aaron to take me in his strong arms and tell me that everything is going to be okay. It's so cold and lonely here, I just want to be loved by those I love back. I want to feel safe again, and I don't feel safe her. I will never feel safe here.

The news reports are going down already, I said they would. They have gone from one every hour, to one every day. Soon it will be one a week, and then only when they have leads... I am starting to give up hope already – something I promised myself I wouldn't do – I look at the television, at all my friends and I can tell they have given up hope as well. They have nothing, nothing to go on, nothing to save me. I have nobody. I am nobody.

I wish I could fade into these walls, I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare that I know is reality. I wish... I wish...

She looked down at the page again, splashing the ink with her tears before closing the book and putting it back on the desk. She sighed, getting up off the seat to go back over to the bed, wrapping the blanket around herself as she watched Strauss on the news, begging for the return of her agent.

She closed her eyes when she saw the faces of the team she loved like her own family – the loss and the hopelessness was evident in their eyes, and she thought for a moment; if they have given up, then I may as well do the same. After all, she was now clinging onto the hope of being rescued, the hope of him letting her go, by a tiny thread, and it was about to break at any moment. Hope was gone, and instead fear replaced it. She was scared of what was about to come, would this be the room she would die in? Would his face be the last she saw? Would it all be over quickly? Could she just pretend to love him and then hope she could escape?

She shuddered, laying down as more tears found their way down her face, she looked at Hotch as he stared at Strauss. She could see those unspoken words in his face,

I am so sorry JJ, we can't find you.

We have nothing.

If it carries on like this, then we are going to give up,

She closed her eyes at the thought, finally letting go of the hope she had held onto for two weeks. They would never find her, she would die here. Maybe they would find her dead body in a few months, maybe they would find her in a few years. She sighed, digging her nails deep into her arm. Hope was lost on her, hope faded when her friends did. Her desire to be saved soon, disappeared when she looked into the man she loved so much eye's and saw nothing but the word sorry.

There was nothing they could do for someone who had disappeared off the face of this earth. There was nothing they could do to help her.

So why should she help herself?