Pressure
An: English is not my first language so there will be typos and grammar mistakes although I'll do my best to minimize them, but if you see any big ones please let me know, so I can correct them.
An update..yaay… I'm just as shocked as you're but this time I have a valid excuse. My laptop has been in and out on repairs since January and when I finally got it back I was in the middle of writing my final essay for the semester and when I had turned that one in, the internet supplier cut my internet and I had to get a new supplier and they had to deliver so on…and now when I've told you my life story, let's move on to the chapter at hand. I'm not completely happy with the language in this one, but being beta-less as I'm, it will have to do.
What you need to know AU, starts when Rory begins Chilton. Everything until then that is the background is the same as on the show except that Dean and Rory are already dating and Tristan is a year older than Rory.
Disclaimer: No way, no how, no hell do I own anything remotely close to Gilmore Girls.
Rating: strong M/R
Everything in italics is the characters thoughts.
Italics and bold are flashbacks.
Chapter 9
From an early age on Tristan learned that the name Dugrey came with certain rules of conduct that needed to be followed no matter what and one of the first and most profound rule influncing the kind of person he grew up into Tristan learned was that you under no circumstances show your emotions, always keep your game face on or better yet condition yourself into to feeling nothing. The rule in question he was taught courtesy of his father at the ripe age of one. Tristan remembers it like it happened yesterday, it was back when his parents actually went to the same resort for vacation and this time they were pawning him off to a particular nasty nanny and he was making a fuss about it, clinging onto one of his father's legs, crying his heart out. Normally a parent, who experience this kind of scene with their only child tend to comfort them or at least try to, but not his father, he had simply grabbed Tristan hard enough to leave marks and shook him, before preceding to tell him that it isn't manly to cry. At first Tristan had thought his father was kidding, but after taking one look into his father's stonecold eyes his hands went up to his cheeks to dry the tears he had shed. After this incident all Tristan wanted for a long time was his father's approval and to get it he knew he couldn't ever cry again and made a pact with himself to that end and this was a pact he could keep throughout his entire childhood short at it was despite the fact that he was kind of a wild child and always ended up with an assortment of scrapes, bruises, concussions and broken limps. It was first in his teens Tristan consciously stopped trying to please his father, but unconsciously he still craved for his approval despite the front he put up. Another thing the events of that fateful day accomplished was to take away what little innocence Tristan had to begin with and his faith and trust in other people became non-existent from that day on. He therefore developed the unemotional, cruel and calculating traits that were purely Dugrey in character. By the time Tristan hit his teens he had perfected the mask of indifference he had been forced to wear from an early age and was on the surface a source of constant envy from his peers, boys wanted to be him and girls just wanted him period, but underneath all that he was still the same scared little boy that wouldn't let go of his father's leg. No one around him knew his main outlet was to drink himself to oblivion because he had lost the ability to cry, or hit or talk or something along those lines a long time ago, besides all those things are some kind of emotion and showing emotions are a weakness and being weak just isn't unacceptable in the kind of life he leads. Tristan was by no means a virgin by the time he started Chilton but it was there that he learnt how to utilize his charisma into getting girls into the sack and most of all this where were he started to use them shamelessly as an alternative outlet to his drinking. His conquests in bed earned him the title king of Chilton within a couple of months and no one ever questioned it, in fact by the end of each year there were few or none of the girls in attendance that he hadn't role around with between the sheets at least once and that is why fresh blood, like Rory, always caught his interest. It was all a game, a way to continue functioning on a basic level and practice to when he was forced into the family business. In Chilton Tristan made a rule of surrounding himself with people, well morons, who in a million years wouldn't figured out a way to break through the façade he put up every single day or even that it existed in the first place. The girls he never kept around for more than a week out of fear of them getting too close, quick blow offs and not dating the smart ones became a defence mechanism for him so he could keep his secrets, just that secret. To his family and everyone else around him he was for the time being fulfilling his role as a Dugrey, ruthless, emotionless and cold, but that doesn't mean he like the life that has been mapped out for him since birth, it just means he has resigned to it. Since he has no control over the direction his own life is taking, his destiny, everything else has become about exercising control over anything or anyone he can. Things like trust and dependency on others are not things Tristan grew up with and in the present day they have become rules he lives by and what keeps him from getting hurt, but it also is the thing that currently has him pacing the length of his room repeating to himself that he doesn't need anyone like a mantra with his cellphone in his hand, fighting the urge to call Rory in Boston.
Tristan's pacing is interrupted by someone knocking on his door and by the sound of it, it isn't the first knock.
"Yeah" Tristan distractedly calls out, thinking it's just one of the maids about to tell him dinner is ready or something.
"It's yes Tristan" his mother enters the room, correcting his English, looking as sterile as ever with her grey skirt and white shirt
Great that's just great, all I needed to make this weekend craptastic is the parentals at home playing all parenty… and what do you know here they are in a clinch…what have I done to deserve this!!
"For the love of…Mother I don't care if it's yes or yeah, in fact I …" Tristan starts but stops before he can say what's on his mind and disregard the most fundamental rule of the Dugrey family, showing emotions. Taking a deep breath he bottles up his emotions like the expert he is and once he feels he has accomplish that he turns his attention back to his mother.
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here" his mother calmly answers with a facial expression telling Tristan that she rather have her skin pealed off than being back in Hartford.
Could have fooled me
"Mother" Tristan says sternly, calling her lie.
"Your father has requested your presence in the study" his mother answers him, giving up any pretences of being there of her own free will.
Geez running his errands now mother? And here I thought all your obligations to this so called marriage ended when you produced a male heir…what did he threat to cut you off or something?
"Alright I'll be right there" Tristan tiredly agrees, wondering what he might have done that prompted his father to demand his mother's company back to Hartford.
"Tristan dear, I suggest you change out of those hideous clothes before your father sees you" his mother criticizes his preferred clothing style before turning around and walking away from him without another word.
Well there is a picture I'm used to, my mother's back. And what the hell does she mean with hideous clothes, these are Nike for crying out load. Hmm but maybe I should change because lord know father doesn't need anymore ammunition…but then again the only reason he would want to talk with me is to give me a lecture about something and he might as well do it while I'm wearing something comfortable…besides of all the things father would be on my case about I think clothing style comes way down the list after why don't you get a haircut and the whole you go to one of the best private schools in Connecticut so why is it so hard for you to speak grammatical correct thingy.
Signing Tristan begins walking downstairs to his father's study to see what the old man has found to lecture him about this time.
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An hour or so later Tristan reluctantly enters this weekend's blow out with two clear goals in mind, to get laid and to get shit faced enough to forget all about Rory and his father's half an hour long lecture about responsibilities and o yeah expectations of a Dugrey. To be completely honest after his father's lecture he isn't exactly in a parting kind of mood, but going to this party had two clear advantages first and foremost it got him out of the house and his parents and second he got the mandatory party of the weekend for the king of Chilton out of the way. Besides sitting at home getting shit faced always proved a great deal harder with the parentals there, fighting loud enough to kill his buzz. Immediately upon entering he sets his sights on the refreshments table and has just enough time to drown one beer before his so called friend Justin shows up.
Friend my ass…he would stab in the back faster than lighting strikes if he thought it would give him higher status on the popularity scale.
"Dugrey my man, what's cooking?" Justin slaps his hand in a friendly greeting.
"Not much, just checking out the playing field" Tristan nonchantly answers, nodding towards the dance floor being in full king of Chilton mode.
"Ah looking to score?" Justin nods in understanding.
"Don't I always?" Tristan rhetorically asks.
"Yeah, so what took you so long? I thought you were going to show earlier"
"Well the parental units are in town" Tristan offers as a form of explanation.
"Why?" Justin asks confused.
"Beats me, probably time for the yearly display of the devoted family" Tristan shrugs.
Devoted family...what a joke!! Unless devoted means just meeting at social functions and others times when it's convenient to be seen as a family. Guess one of the criterias for being devoted parents are to have no clue what is going on in their only child's life…say for instance the fact that I fluked lit last year and have to redo it.
"Oh that's always fun, so seen anything you interesting?" Justin wonders nodding towards the crowd.
"Dunno, maybe, who is that?" Tristan asks nodding towards a busty blonde, dancing.
"Oh that's the birthday girl, Chelsea I think, but I wouldn't go there"
"Why not?"
"Well she has been around the block once or twice if ya know what I mean?!" Justin hints at Tristan.
Like you haven't
"So what? It's not like I'm looking for a potential wife, I just want some piece of ass and hers is as good as any. Besides practice makes perfect" Tristan winks before finishing his second beer for the evening
"Whatever man, just remember no glove, no love"
"Dude you're so lame, besides what love got to do with it,I just want to get laid. Now excuse me" Tristan says and grabs two glasses of punch on the table behind Justin before making his way over to what hopefully will be his conquest for the evening.
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It doesn't take Tristan long to charm Chelsea into showing him her room and once there he immediately kisses her willing mouth and backs her towards the bed. To his relief he doesn't feel any sparks or anything of that nature when his lips meets hers and when skin meets skin he finds, to his immense relief that he still is able to think and control his body's movements, something that seems impossible whenever Rory is the part. As strange as it may sound Tristan enjoys the feeling of being able to shut down and just go through motions the way he used to, before Rory, without giving rat ass of who he does it with and being able to do this, proves to him that part of him still is the Tristan Dugrey he has worked so hard to create over the years. Sex before Rory had been nothing else than to find release and a body to temporarily chase away the cold with and as soon as him and whatever girl, who was the conquest for the evening, were happy and sweaty he was out of there as soon as he could get dressed again in order to avoid the otherwise mandatory cuddling session, which always led him to feel suffocated. Granted he had never really cared about his partners and therefore probably didn't get the point of snuggling afterwards, but that was the way he was wired and he has no plans to change that anytime soon. Therefore his plan this evening was to, as always, be out of there pretty fast, so as soon as Chelsea had climaxed he wastes no time rolling of her, disposing the condom and pulling his pants back up from where they are hanging around his ankles.
"Hey where are you going in such a hurry?" Chelsea purrs from were she is laying on the bed, legs spread, dress bunched up around her waist when she sees Tristan getting ready to leave. She somehow manages to catch him of guard enough to drape her arms around him and dragging him back down.
"Out of here" Tristan curtly replies, trying to resist the pull but finding it hard since his balance is a bit off.
"Ah don't do that, come back to bed" Chelsea pouts.
"Don't think so. I got what I wanted and now I'm leaving" Tristan coldly replies and regains enough balance to untangle himself from her embrace. Once free he heads for the door.
"That's it, you're just going to leave me here!!??" Chelsea screams looking like a three year old throwing a tantrum.
"Pretty much yeah" Tristan coldly answers.
"No one leaves me and gets away with it." Chelsea meanicily says narrowing her eyes and sitting up in bed.
"Really, that's not what I heard" Tristan perfectly arches one of his eyebrows and looks at her.
"Meaning what?"
"Let's not do this ok? Can't I just leave and we call this what it is, a one nighter" Tristan says while tiredly rubbing his temples, trying to avoid a confrontation.
"No way I want to know why?" Chelsea insists with a tone of voice showing that she isn't used to being denied anything.
"Babe I hate to break it to you, but I don't do relationships asks anyone. In the words of a wise person I'm the fuck them, leave them kind of guy, always has been, always will and now since we have fucked I'm leaving and just like that mission accomplished" Tristan tries one last time not to lash out but she is really working on his last nerve and when Chelsea's voice once again prevents him from making his escape something just snaps. "Apparently I need to spell this out in order for you to get it into your thick skull that I don't want to have anything more to do with you, not now, not ever. Let's have one thing straight right now, I never planned on staying in here longer than necessary to get off especially not with someone apparently half the school has besieged at one point or another and for the record isn't nearly as good as she should be with all the practice she has had. I came here looking to get laid simple as that and you were the first moderately attractive girl I laid my eyes on, so I went for it, but if I had know what a whiny bitch you turned out to be, I would have kept looking. Now are we done here?" Tristan icily asks a stunned Chelsea and when he doesn't hear a peep out of her he turns around and finally exits the room.
Once outside he leans against the wall for support and takes a moment to gather himself not liking the fact that she forced his hand in saying things he hadn't planned on, but not really regretting it since she had really gotten on his nerves and needed to be taught a lesson.
Now that could go down in the history books as the biggest mistake I have ever made up to date.
Signing he pushes away from the wall, once again in the king of Chilton persona and walks downstairs looking for something stronger to drink.
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Rory's evening hasn't exactly shaped up to be any better , but after an excruciating long evening spent at her dad's parents mansion, which by the way makes Emily's and Richard's place look like a small country house, she is finally back at her room at Chris's place in Boston. As soon as they had gotten back she had gone for the kitchen and the coffeemaker to refill her reserves after having to spend an entire evening without it since her dad's parents doesn't think it's an appropriate drink for a young lady.
If the only knew how unladylike I have been lately
Rory thinks as she crawls up in her bed, coffee in one hand and her journal in the other, wearing her pjs. But she doesn't even get a change to get settled in before there is knock on her door and she quickly scrambles for a sweater to cover herself up in before answering the door for her dad.
"Hey kiddo, I just wanted to apologize for my parents this evening" Chris sticks his head in saying.
"Don't worry about it dad, I'm used to it"
"I know and that's the sad part. You really shouldn't be"
"Yeah well it kind of comes with the territory of being the result of a teen pregnancy. I mean mom's relationship with her parents isn't exactly good either, but I got to admit it's better than yours"
"Yeah well I've always been an disappointment to my parents even before your mom got pregnant and well that didn't exactly make things better, but you shouldn't be force to be subject to that so I'm sorry. Oh and I promise to never again take you to dinner there"
Rory really wants to comfort her dad by saying it wasn't that bad and he shouldn't be ashamed of his parents, but truth of the matter is it was all that and more, so she stays quiet and let her dad continue.
"Anyway I figured after tonight we deserve some fun so how about we take the bike out for a ride tomorrow?" Chris hopefully asks
"Sounds good" Rory genuinely smiles for the first time that evening because she loves being out, driving the bike, the feeling of the wind blowing to her hair, the way it can make you forget about everything else but the road ahead of you, the sense of freedom it gives you.
Guess that's why dad loves it so much
"Alright then, I'll let you get some sleep, night" Chris gives Rory a good night hug to which Rory responds.
"Night dad" she mumbles into his shoulder before letting go and Chris leaves her alone.
Since she still isn't tired Rory decides to give writing in her journal another shoot and chucks off the warm sweater again before settling in her bed.
Dear Journal,
I'm spending the weekend at my dad's and at first I was thrilled at the idea of spending some time away from Stars Hollow, to be able to let my hair down a bit more than I normally do, because let's face it, if I say smoked in Stars Hollow or did something else out of character, the whole town would know about it within minutes and go nuts about it, trying to figure out what's wrong. Here in Boston on the other hand I can be anonymous. No one here gives a rat ass if they see me smoking outside a coffee house wearing a pair of old torn jeans and having my hair hanging loose and unwashed over my back, because they don't know me, they don't know how I'm suppose to be. I guess that's why I like coming here but now I got a bit sidetracked, as I said I was thrilled about spending some time in Boston, at least until reality caught up with me, and with reality I mean I got reminded of what a pain in ass both mom and Dean are when I'm out of town. I don't know how I could have forgotten the way they constantly are pestering me with phone calls, just to check in. Granted they do it for different reasons but never the less it's nerve wrecking. I know Dean does it because he genuinely misses me, which always serves to remind me how much more invested in this so called relationship he's than me. Now my mom that is a different story, I'm sure she misses me too, but that is not the main reason why she calls. Her main reason is that she doesn't trust dad with me and is just waiting for him to screw up so she once again can step in and be the hero, as in single handingly raising a daughter. Little does she know that dad does a hell of a lot better job than she has been doing lately. Anyway after having a numerous of calls from the both of them throughout the day I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind when dad dropped the bombshell that we were going to have dinner at his parents' place, which was about the last thing I wanted to do because it meant more playing the perfect daughter. To his defence I must say he looked apoplectic when he told me and I didn't quite get why until now when I first hand have seen what his parents are like. Let me tell you compare to those people Emily and Richard are the most easy going people in the world, mom definitely doesn't give them enough credit. The funny thing is the worse part of the dinner wasn't watching dad being reprimanded for everything he did, having the past rehashed, or being forced to escape to the bathroom numerous of times due to panic attacks or cutting, no it was the fact that I in the midst of all that missed Dugrey.
Yep tonight I did something I promised myself I would never do, I missed him, not just as in I missed his touch or the feeling of him moving inside of me, no I missed HIM as well as the sex. The only reason I can think of for that is that he brings out a fire in me that I haven't felt in a long time, something which unfortunately gives him some leverage on me.
Rory's writing is interrupted by her cell phone ringing from somewhere in her room and while she is looking for it, she is muttering to herself about how she just talked with Dean, and wish he would just leave her alone, not having a doubt in her mind that it must be Dean again, so when she finally finds it she flips it open without even checking who it's.
"Hey"
"Ello is who?" A familiar voice, which doesn't belong to Dean, asks her.
"Tristan is that you?"
"Mary?" Tristan asks surprised.
"Yep, why do you sound surprised, you called me"
"Noooo, upid thing did"
"Huh?"
"I didn all"
"Didn't what?" Rory asks confused
"All u" Tristan tries to clarify.
"Didn all me. What the hell are talking about...wait a minute... Tristan, are you drunk?" Rory asks with barely concealed laughter.
" A wittle bit"
"Aha and you thought it was a good idea to call and make an ass out of yourself?" Rory chuckles, secretly glad for the distraction from her evening from hell.
"Noooo, am ost"
"You're what?"
"Am ost"
"Am ost" Rory repeats to herself until she has decrypted Tristan's drunken ramblings. "Ahh, you're lost" Rory clarifies
"Mmm, am ost"
"Ok, look around do you seen anything familiar?" Rory tries to get a clue out of Tristan to help her figure out were he is.
"Offh" she hears after a moment of silence
"Tristan, what happened, Tristan!"
" Upid ground"
"You fell down?!" Rory laughs
"Not my ault ground upid"
"Yeah I mean it's not like it hasn't been there for longer than you have lived" Rory mocks Tristan.
Hey this is fun
"So anything familiar?" Rory tries again
"Green"
"What?"
"All green"
"Ok, so you're laying face down in a lawn, not much help here. Wait a minute is that music I hear?" Rory asks
"Mmm party" Tristan absently answers
"You're outside the party?" Rory signs in relief that things aren't as bad as she thought.
"I an sing"
"No I'm" Rory starts answering, but is interrupted by Tristan belting out AC/DCs Highway to hell.
So my ears are never going to recover from this, but at least he's a fun drunk
Rory thinks as she lays back, turns the lights out and prepares herself to fall asleep to Tristan's drunken singing.
I guess things could be worse
TBC
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I was trying to make Tristan talk like he was wasted, but I think I got Tristan to talk baby language…or what do you think? Any tips how to written a drunken dialogue?