AN: Sorry this took so long. Work and being sick derailed things for a few days. Thank you, as always, to my fabulous beta damigella_314 . Thanks to you guys for being awesome and reviewing my first plotty House story. Hope you like this chapter. :-)

Plausible Deniability: 10

House watches Wilson's eyes close gently…and he's asleep before his head hits Cuddy's fancy pillow. Just like the other night, when he'd been able to really see the lines in Wilson's face, he sees them there now…a little lighter, but it still looks like he's carrying the entire world on his shoulders.

Wilson's story is out, but House can see the toll it's taken on him, and he doesn't like what he sees.

*****
She's not sure how long she's been at the reception desk, chatting with various nurses and employees that come her way, when she notices the lights in her office switch off and House come out slowly. Just before the door closes behind him, she sees him look back into the office for a split second, as though checking to make sure the other occupant is still there, and she smiles.

House notices her at the last second and an odd look passes over his face, as though wondering whether she'd seen him look back into the office. She just raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything about it as he limps over to her.

"How is he?"

"Asleep," House says. "And still breathing. I want another MRI."

"Okay," she answers slowly. "You did mention dreams to Wilson, which could be a sign the swelling is receding." House doesn't directly respond to that, and she nods. "Okay. Let's go."

Less then an hour later, they're staring at the results and House is looking at them as though, by sheer will-power, he can change them.

"It's barely there," he bites out, as though he'd been afraid of that exact revelation.

"Yeah."

"But all I've got are these random dreams…memories from the entire incident."

"You know why that is," Cuddy answers softly. "The swelling certainly didn't help, but with all that you were on all week…"

House sinks into the chair beside her, still in the hospital gown. "I know, but Wilson said that there was somewhere I needed to go, but that I was incoherent and he couldn't tell what I was trying to say. He said he thought that I was trying to get to you or Dominica. And I didn't call you."

She doesn't answer, because she knows that was rhetorical, but Cuddy suddenly wishes he had called her, because that just leaves…

House gets up and goes to where they put his clothes in the storage locker in the monitor room. He pulls out his cell-phone and shakes his head in frustration. "No outgoing calls to unfamiliar numbers…"

"You could've called her from your landline," Cuddy responds, figuring it better to help him reason out whatever epiphany he's headed towards, then not to and having him go raring off by himself.

He doesn't answer, but looks at his phone again. This time, he seems to get what he wants, and Cuddy remembers the argument that Wilson had told them about, when Dominica had called House. He presses a button and puts the phone to his ear. It rings for a second, before he puts it on speaker phone.

She can just hear the "…motel, my name is Linda, how can I help you?" as she meets House's gaze.

He hangs up and quickly dials another number. "Chase. I need you on Wilson-sitting duty…Cuddy gave you clinic duty?" House glances at her and she nods in confirmation. "Don't care about that at the moment. Just do it, he's asleep on the couch in Cuddy's office. Also, if he isn't awake and you wake him up, I will find out and Cuddy making you do clinic duty will be the least of your problems."

He hangs up and turns back to Cuddy, his expression expectant. "Want to go on a field trip?"

"I'd say no, but that wouldn't stop you," she answers in resignation.

"Nope. You might get a good show, though." House is back into his clothes. "And on the way, you can tell me why you had my entire team doing clinic duty."

House is still arguing with her about her interference with his team when they get to the motel. However, when she makes the argument that she was trying to protect Wilson, he shuts up and sulks as they walk into the reception area and ask for Dominica. A minute later, they're walking down the hallway and House is knocking on the door with his cane.

"House," Dominica says wearily, as she opens the door. "What are you doing here? Did Doctor Wilson tell you where I was? He told me not to contact you, so I didn't."

House looks at her and waves a hand. "Can we come in?"

Dominica looks between them, and nods slowly. She backs away from the door to let them in. House looks around, briefly, not surprised that Wilson chose a nice place to stash her. "Wilson didn't give you away. I found out where you were on my own. I need to ask you something."

Wrapping her arms around herself, Dominica nods again.

House wraps his fingers tightly around his cane and says, "Two nights ago…I got into a car accident with…with Wilson…what I need to know is…did I call you that night?"

Obviously confused, she shakes her head. "I'm sorry you were in an accident, but no, you did not call me."

House looks at her impatiently. "Are you sure? I probably wasn't all that coherent."

Cuddy gets the distinct feeling that Dominica would like nothing more then to just say yes, and when she sees how frantic House looks, she sets a hand on his arm. "House."

He exhales in frustration and, without another word, he walks out.

Cuddy finds herself standing alone with House's foreign wife and doesn't know what to say. She looks at this scared, confused woman and attempts a smile. "I'm sorry we bothered you."

Dominica just looks at her wearily before nodding. "I hope he finds what he's looking for."

Cuddy smiles tightly again and as she goes out the way she came, she thinks that this is just going to be one of those times when House isn't going to get his answers.

Her heels click on the sidewalk, and she can vaguely see her breath forming in the air as she walks back toward her car. It's still cool outside, and House had been in such a hurry that neither of them had grabbed heavier jackets. As she gets closer to her car, she notices House already in the passenger seat. She sighs as she makes her way to the driver's side and gets in.

She doesn't start the car right away; instead she turns to him and says slowly. "I can take a guess as to where you were going and who you were trying to get to. Could've been Wilson. You did call him and not anyone else…maybe you just…"

"…were so drunk that I couldn't tell who I was talking to?" House snaps. When her gaze doesn't waver from his, he lowers his own, stares out at the night beyond the windshield and admits, "I was thinking about that, too."

Cuddy shakes her head and leans against the back of the seat, suddenly realizing how tired she is. But as she looks at House, sees the expression on his face, it suddenly dawns on her what the sense of urgency in all this was.

"You want to remember everything, don't you? I think, when you remembered what Wilson said about you thinking that you had somewhere you needed to go, that you were relying on your memory coming back. That's why you wanted that MRI right away."

"It's a mystery and I don't know."

"Wilson told you what happened," she says quietly.

"It's not enough," House responds.

"I think it's going to have to be. This is human , House. You're human. This isn't something you can force, or bully or…anything else you do to get what you want from your patients. It's very likely that you won't ever remember everything and I know you realize that. I think, that in your…" she chuckles a little. "…Housian way, you're trying to help him...by taking some of the burden off of him, so he's not the only one who actively remembers what happened."

"You think that's funny?"

"No," she answers. "I don't. I think…that there is a lot that the three of us have been ignoring for a very long time."

"What does that mean?"

"An observation. Years of them, actually. In that respect, I can't speak for Wilson. On my side, however…I owe you an apology."

"What are you sorry for?" House asks. "I'm the one that screwed up."

"This apology isn't about all of this…it's about the night I ended our relationship."

House's hands fidget on his cane. "I know I screwed up then, too."

"We are both at fault, for everything that happened in our relationship. We were never going to work."

"You said that."

"I know I did and that night, I know I implied you didn't deserve me." She holds up a hand when House opens his mouth. "I did and I'm sorry. I just…was waiting for you to be someone you're not."

"I tried."

"I know that, too. But, I fell in love with the man that threw away that Vicodin for me. That was just a small glimpse of you, House. One that I'd convinced myself was going to stay forever…and the Vicodin was just a small part of that. It was more of a catalyst. Wilson…" She shakes her head, remembering that confrontation in her office. "Wilson told me that I'd made it clear to you that I didn't want you to change. I told him I was wrong…and I was. You're you. You're always going to be you…asking you to change to fit that idealized version of you that tossed those pills to the floor and kissed me was wrong."

"I guess I thought that you could…help me become that man," House says quietly. "But I'll always be the drug addicted ass who continues to alienate every person he's ever known."

Cuddy tilts her head to the side. "I'm still here…and maybe we can work our way back to friendship, eventually. This is a start…but, there is a man asleep on the couch in my office back at the hospital whom you've never managed to push away. He risked everything to keep you out of trouble again."

"Why the hell did he just not give up on me," House demands.

Cuddy exhales in exasperation. "House, think about it. He knows who you are…knows exactly what kind of things you can get up to, in fact he's encouraged most of it over the years. He's always been there, for…how long?"

"Almost twenty years," House says slowly.

"Yeah. Almost twenty years."

"He's left before."

"He came back."

"He's tried to change me before."

"He's tried to get you off Vicodin," Cuddy reminds him.

"That's part of who I am."

"House, the Vicodin only makes you who you are if you let it. Without it, you're still an ass."

House glances at her a little mischievously. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Cuddy smiles and House smirks back, but it fades quickly. "I was a bad doctor without it."

"You were never a bad doctor," Cuddy says vehemently. "And you were wrong when you came to my house after that patient died. Happiness doesn't make you a bad doctor, either. My attempts to change you coupled with you fighting that and trying to find a balance between being you, and being you while you're with me, probably didn't help with that."

"Wilson…"

"Accepts you."

"He-"

"-also isn't perfect. He's had his moments."

House stares off into the distance. "He told me…after you left the office, that he wanted me to accept that he'll always be there for me."

"I know you've never been that great at doing what either of us tells you, to, House, but maybe you could give that a try. For both of your sakes."

She bumps her head gently against the back of the seat, before facing forward and starting the car. As she's pulling out of the motel parking lot, House quietly says her name.

She turns her head toward him as she approaches a red light. "Hmm?"

"I missed you," he admits. "What we were before…when we didn't have to try so hard."

She smiles and reaches over to squeeze his hand as the light turns green. Having House in her life would never, ever make it normal…but maybe now that their disastrous foray into a romantic relationship is over, she can finally accept that.

"Me too."

tbc