Chapter 10: This Ain't Too Bad, I Guess

Jia Xu's first job at Cao Cao was during the Battle of Guandu, against Yuan Shao.

Guo Jia: Hey!

Jia Xu: Huh? What?

Guo Jia: So, this will be your first battle, right?

Jia Xu: Yeah?

Guo Jia: Great! We hope you'll do your best!

Jia Xu: Umm….thanks? I mean…why did you just run to me like that?

Guo Jia: Eh? Hey, I just thought I at least greet you, since you're new here. Something wrong with that?

Jia Xu: Not particularly….but hey, considering what the other guys here think about me, and….wait, hold on, Author.

world freezes

What?

Jia Xu: Hey, I thought that I really wasn't actually friends with Guo Jia historically?

Yes, you weren't.

Jia Xu: Then….why did you add this?

Okay, even though this is supposed to be a retelling of your historical biography, it's still a DW fic. I mean, it's the goddamn category! Now quit jacking off the track and just go on with it! (And I ship you two anyway so THIS MUST HAPPE-)

Jia Xu: Wait, wait-

world unfreezes

Guo Jia: And besides, I'd just like to see your skills later on! It will be so delightful! sparkly-eyed

Jia Xu: …..uhhhh…..okay.

Guo Jia: Yes! Anyways, I'm off!

Jia Xu: Okay. Huff….for some reason, I got a headache…

So anyway, they went into battle, yada yada yada, and then there came a moment when Yuan Shao cornered Cao Cao.

Cao Cao: Dammit! We ran out of food! And Yuan Shao just keeps on cornering us! If this goes on, we're done for!

Guo Jia and Jia Xu: ….

Cao Cao: Seriously, there must be some way to….hrmmmhhh….

Guo Jia: ….hey.

Jia Xu: What?

Guo Jia: You're not gonna say anything?

Jia Xu: Why should I? Unless he asks me to, I'm saving my breath.

Cao Cao: Grmgghlhbl….looks at Guo Jia and Jia Xu HEY!

Guo Jia and Jia Xu: WHOA!

Cao Cao: Seriously! You're supposed to be my advisors, and you're not even trying to help me in the slightest?! Especially you, Jia Xu!

Jia Xu: Hm?

Cao Cao: Come on, man! Seriously, I didn't let go the death of my eldest son, and foremost Dian Wei, for THIS!

Jia Xu: …..

Cao Cao: ….

Jia Xu: Lord, your clear-thinking is superior to Yuan Shao. Your daring is superior to Yuan Shao. Your ways of employing men is superior to Yuan Shao. Your decisiveness is superior to Yuan Shao. The reason for your inability to conquer him despite these four superiorities is because you have been playing it safe. You must take advantage of the situation decisively, and then victory will come in moments.*

Guo Jia: makes a 'Seriously?' face

Cao Cao: …..

Jia Xu: So?

Cao Cao: …fine! leaves room

Jia Xu: Hmph.

Guo Jia: Hey, did you just seriously steal my speech?

Jia Xu: What speech?

Guo Jia: You know! The one I made to convince our lord to go attack Yuan Shao at the first place!

Jia Xu: Well, but I listed 4 instead of 10. Saved my breath a lot more to convince him.

Guo Jia: Damn you.

Thanks to Jia Xu's advice, Cao Cao managed to defeat Yuan Shao.

Guo Jia: Woo-hoo! We won!

Jia Xu: Heh. Right.

Guo Jia: Yeah! It's all thanks to you, you know!

Jia Xu: What? Pfftt, no, it was nothing. Obviously it was because of you!

Guo Jia: No! I'm clearly nothing compared to you!

Jia Xu: No, no, no, you're obviously superior!

Guo Jia: No, you!

Jia Xu: You!

Guo Jia: You!

Jia Xu: You!

Guo Jia: YOU!

Jia Xu: YOU!

Guo Jia: Damn it….falls down

Jia Xu: Eh?! holds Guo Jia Whoa! …hey…you…okay?

Guo Jia: Eh? Oh, of course I am! I mean, it's not like I've got a deadly plot-convenient disease that will kill me in 8 years or anything! It's just your imagination! Haha! coughs

Jia Xu: …you REALLY should stop getting drunk and pursuing girls.

Guo Jia: Can't help it.

To Be Continued….

Okay, that's all! Please leave a review and have a good day!

*Also the actual quote. Eh, I'll just probably use the actual quotes everytime I run out of ideas to make them funnier. I'm such a useless piece of shit.