Thanks to my lovely reviewers: PiscesGirl35, Warblers4Life, HughSoSexy, RavenclawBabe, Harrylee94, Jordina, Singingequestrian89, Kinole009x and DarkPhoenix-24. You all always put a smile on my face :D

I had a hard time getting this document to upload here and wasn't sure if I'd get it up tonight, but I finally did! Yeah!

*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors.

Chapter 10: Apologizing Is Never Easy

Severus walked down Diagon Alley after work, considering what he'd say to Lily. He needed to apologize, but that was never easy for him. He hated admitting he was wrong. He knew his feelings weren't the problem and he wasn't going to apologize for feeling the way he did. He was going to apologize for taking his issues with the Marauders out on her. She didn't know how he really felt about them and she didn't know how he was really treated in school. She knew he was bullied, but little more.

Lily prepared dinner, letting Harry bang some pots with a wooden spoon. She had spent much of the day thinking about everything Severus had told her. She hadn't known how much pent up frustration and anger he held. She had thought him to be so composed. Not that he didn't try and hex James and Sirius in anger while in school, but in general, he was not an emotional person. Seeing him crack like that was not something she was used to, but she knew he had probably wanted to say that to someone for a long time. She just happened to be the one there.

Truthfully, she was kind of glad he told her all that. She needed to hear it from his point of view, hear how he felt. She didn't want to think too much about James. She was still grieving, but she had to face the facts. He had never treated her former best friend kindly and he had never apologized for those grievances.

Severus entered the home to banging sounds. He hoped it was Lily, but took out his wand just in case. He entered the kitchen and saw Harry hitting some of his cookware with a wooden spoon. He put his wand down and looked up. Lily turned to him and gave a smile.

"You're home." After she said this, she blushed. She sounded like his wife. "I mean, um, I made some food."

"Oh." He stepped toward the table. "Lily, I have something to say." He cleared his throat. "About earlier, I shouldn't have-"

She threw her hand up to stop him. "Don't. I deserved it."

"No, you didn't, I-"

"I did. Don't you dare apologize." She sighed. "You were right. It was wrong for people to treat you the way they did and still do in many ways. It was wrong of Sirius to call you a coward. You're not a coward. You may be petty, but a coward you are not."

"Well," He started, unsure what to say. She was saying she was wrong and he was right. This wasn't what he had planned on hearing.

"James shouldn't have treated you that way. Sirius shouldn't have treated you that way. You didn't deserve any of it."

"Lily,"

"Let me speak." She sighed. "I've spent most of the afternoon thinking." He eyed the table, which had about a dozen used tissues on it.

"I made you cry?" He gulped. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just still grieving and get upset easily." Severus felt a jolt in his stomach at a thought.

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" She looked at him in complete shock.

"Absolutely not, why would you think that?" She looked down at her stomach. "I haven't gained weight, have I?"

"No, not at all that I noticed, but when Narcissa was pregnant with Draco-"

"Narcissa? The Black girl? She married that git Malfoy, didn't she?" He nodded. "She had a baby?"

"Yes. He's just a few months older than Harry. They should be at Hogwarts together down the road."

"Unless Harry's a squib." Severus feigned a look of shock.

"Lily Evan's son a squib? I think not." She was ready to retort when she realized he was teasing. She smiled.

"Are you flattering me, Severus?" He smirked.

"Well, I do remember you as a very talented young witch. There's no way you would have a son who wasn't a wizard, even if you married a muggle." After he said the last words, he frowned. Lily knew he was thinking about his own parents.

"Well, I promise you I am not pregnant. I would know if I was. I knew with Harry very early" She huffed.

"Okay, I'll drop the subject."

"I was upset because I was thinking about everything that happened between us, between you and James and Sirius, and how I didn't see it all before. I should have. I was your friend. I should have done more, even if you didn't want me too. I should have told McGonagall what I saw. I should have told on Sirius for that incident he tried to pull that could have killed you. I was afraid of being a tattletale, but really, I wouldn't have been. I would have been doing the right thing. Instead, I sat back and let you fall. I let you go and fall into the Death Eater trap. I could have saved you from that pull."

"Lily, please don't blame yourself for my stupid decisions."

"But I can, Severus. It is, in some ways, my fault. In so many more ways the fault does lie with James and Sirius for treating you horribly for no reason. I keep thinking that if he was nice to you from the start, if they both were, maybe you wouldn't have felt the need for friends in Avery or Mulciber." This wasn't something he had contemplated before. The Marauders as friends was quite a laugh.

She went on. "I keep thinking about Dumbledore and the teachers and how they almost never punished the Marauders. In your duels, it was always your fault because you were a Slytherin. They always assumed it was you who started it. Sirius nearly killed you and he never saw punishment since James apparently atoned for Black's actions by saving you." Severus clenched his fists in anger. "As if that changes anything. What Sirius did was stupid and beyond dangerous. You could have died. Remus wouldn't have meant to harm you, but he wouldn't have known any better. Sirius should have spent the rest of his years in detentions with Filch if not expelled for that." Severus was more than surprised to hear all this from her. She was not defending James or Sirius this time. She was defending him. The sudden twist made his head spin. He was feeling a bit dizzy and sat down. She put Harry in the transfigured high chair.

"I am so sorry, Severus, for everything they did to you. James cannot try and redeem himself, but I can. I am sorry. Deeply sorry for all you had to go through." She waved her wand and served the food.

"You haven't had life so easy yourself." He sighed. "I appreciate and accept your apology, but you didn't need to give it. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. It was wrong."

"No, I needed to hear it. I'm glad you got angry with me. I needed to know how you felt. I did deserve some of it and don't try and deny it." She sat down across from him.

"Potter and Black deserved it, not you. The professors deserved it too. My parents deserve it as well, but seeing as they aren't here to hear it, I'll put them out of my thoughts. I took out my pent-up frustrations on you. That was wrong and I am sorry for that. It's hard when no one believes that you can be anything more than a Death Eater."

"That's what I am talking about, Severus. All they saw, minus Slughorn, was a quiet Slytherin. No one saw what you were capable of. You have no idea how aggravating it is to think about now." He rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe you do, but I never really thought about it before. How many others could have been saved from being at You-Know-Who's side if the teachers actually tried to get to know the Slytherins? They could have helped prevent the rivalry of houses. That rivalry they created causes so much turmoil. It's stupid."

"I don't know, Lily. They didn't care enough. I was only a threat."

"The teachers didn't believe in you, but I knew you had so much potential. You still have so much potential. That's why I hated it so much when I saw you with those wannabe Death Eaters. I knew they were trouble and yet, they kept pulling you in. They were worthless and they didn't deserve you as a friend. You were and still are so much better than they are." His jaw dropped. He shook his head.

"Lily,"

"What?" She was still flustered.

"Thank you."

"For what?" She was confused.

"That's probably the nicest thing anyone ever said to me." She looked at him and a lump caught in her throat. She felt herself blush again.

"Well, it's true." It was quiet for a few minutes.

"Do you plan on staying here awhile?" He finally asked, the silence getting to him.

"Well," She looked at him. "Only if it is okay with you? I hate to think we are imposing."

"Of course not. I just figured if you were staying here awhile I ought to give you a proper room. Not that I mind giving up my room, but I would like it back at some point."

"That would be very kind, but don't feel like you need to go out of your way to make us more comfortable. I would be just as happy to take the couch."

"Nonsense. You are the guest. Besides, Black was on the couch. You don't where that mutt has been."

"Severus." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, it's true." She sighed.

"I appreciate you letting us stay. The only other place I could think of would be Petunia's place, but she wouldn't want us there. Can you believe she still won't speak to me?"

"No. She's still jealous? After all these years?"

"I guess. She married and has a son of her own now. They live in Surrey. I think they named him Dudley or something. He's about a month older than Harry, but I've never met him."

"Dudley? Sounds like something Petunia would name her kid." He never did care for Petunia. He found hard to believe sometimes the two were even related, let alone sisters.

"Yeah. She wants no part in my life. She's never met Harry. She says she doesn't want her son to be friends with a freak." Severus grumbled. Yep, same Petunia, he thought, nothing changed there. She always called Lily a freak and of course she would consider Lily's child one too.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Don't be. I'm not really. I do wish she would come around. It would have been nice to have raised our children together. The boys could have been good friends." She sighed. "No matter, it is what it is. So, how was work? Where do you work?" She said, changing the subject.

"It was fine, I guess. I work at the Apothecary in Diagon Alley."

"Do you like your job?"

"It's okay. I don't know what else I'd be doing. It pays well enough and all I do is brew and bottle potions. I'm guessing you aren't working as of late."

"I was planning on being an auror, but then I got pregnant and I've stayed home with Harry."

"Was Potter an auror?"

"Yes."

"Did you plan on training when Harry was a bit older?"

"Well, I figured we would have a couple more children, so no, but now, I don't know. I might consider it. I was never sure if I could do it, honestly." He didn't dare say it, but he thought she was wasting her life on Potter and children. She was an intelligent witch and could have done so much for the wizarding world. He didn't know why she didn't see that. Where was the confident Lily he knew?

"Well, I disagree and think you have plenty of talent to give. You would be a great auror."

"Thanks, but I don't know if that's true."

"I do." She looked down at her bread. He figured he should change the subject. "How many kids did you want anyway? Don't tell me you wanted to beat the Weasleys? How many do they have now, six?"

"Seven, they just had another. A girl this time." She smiled. Severus rolled his eyes. The Weasley woman does nothing except breed children, he thought. "And no, I was thinking about three, maybe four. Of course, James was happy with just Harry. He didn't know if he wanted any more children. He liked being an only child."

Severus scoffed. "Of that I have no doubt." Potter was a spoiled only child, he knew that. He never had to share the limelight with anyone. Of course he'd want to create a pampered, spoiled brat just like him, he thought to himself.

"I liked having a sister though. That is until I went to Hogwarts and she became jealous. I wanted Harry to have a brother or sister. Of course, now, he'll always be an only child."

"Maybe. Then again you may find someone else eventually." He just hoped it wouldn't be Black or Lupin, but especially not Black.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't know."

"Just don't marry Black. You'd have to be mad." She laughed.

"Oh please." She raised her eyebrow. "Black and McDonald have been going out for the past six months."

"Hmm. They seem right for each other. I wonder how much longer it will last."

"No clue, they never seem to last long. I don't know how much they honestly know about each other though. They never seem to do more than snog."

"Sounds like Black. That was all he ever did with girls back in school too. Never could make a commitment, just wants to see how many women he can sleep with."

"Sev, honestly!" She blurted out. He nearly choked on the soup.

"What did you call me?" He swore he had to have heard wrong. She hadn't seriously called him by her given nickname for him, had she? "Did you just call me Sev?" She smiled.

"Why, yes, I guess I did." She smiled at him. "I guess this makes us friends again."

"I'd like that. I could use a friend." He smiled at her.

"So could I." She mumbled. "Well, shall I make a toast then?" She raised her glass. Severus looked at her and nodded. "To friends?"

"To friends." He raised his glass. They both took a drink before clearing the table. What was originally a bad day had somehow turned around into something good and they were getting along again. A bad day turned good was rarity for Severus and he wondered how long it would last.

For the first time since her husband had passed away, Lily felt a twinge of happiness race up inside her. She was glad that she ran into Severus that fateful night. Perhaps they both needed this. This arrangement might be so bad after all, she thought.

A/N: For some bizarre reason the chorus of Tommy Roe's 1969 hit single "Dizzy" kept popping into my mind as I typed this. I think it fits for some odd reason. Anyway, I hope the readers liked this. I am happy with this chapter.