Ichigo went home for a few days. He didn't feel the least bit worried about leaving Renji alone with that pissed-off ghost, because Shiro has never shown any interest in Renji or making his presence known at all to anyone except Ichigo.

Renji didn't notice Shiro much, if at all, jokingly attributing the weird organized piles of rocks that appeared in the yard to aliens. He seemed to half-notice it when Shiro messed with Ichigo, or at least he knew what Ichigo was talking about when he referred to 'the ghost', but he just didn't think much of open doors or malfunctioning electrical equipment. Ichigo wouldn't have either a few months ago before he'd seen what he'd seen.

There was no way to unsee it. That's why he had to go away and spend some nights at home.

Renji was all sad and junk over it, and called him on the phone a lot, pleading for him to come back, but Ichigo won't, even though he knew he was probably worrying Renji, acting so distant.

His sisters were nice to him, at least, while he was home. Ichigo's normal personality was indifferent and mildly brooding, but he must've been more scowly than normal. They probably thought he and his boyfriend were fighting or something. For god's sake, Yuzu had made him homemade chocolate ice cream earlier in the day.

While Ichigo was eating it at the counter - god, he could weep from how good it is, and how good of a sister he has - Renji called again.

"Yeah?" he picked up. Renji wasted no time.

"Ichigo, are you gonna' come back soon? I miss you," he muttered. "... I really miss you."

"Dude, you know we can just meet wherever, right?" Ichigo pointed out, holding his cell inbetween his ear and shoulder, taking a bite of his ice cream.

"Except your house or my house," Renji complained.

"Yep. Lotta' options left still."

"So that's it then?" Renji said rather breathlessly, like he didn't know what to do. "You're just never gonna' come back?"

"Hmmm, I dunno'," Ichigo considered. It did kinda' suck to put Renji in that position where, although Ichigo hadn't made it a choice between their relationship and the house, it kind of had turned out that way anyway, considering Renji loved the house and loved Ichigo, while Ichigo didn't want to be anywhere near that place. "Can you trade the property or something?"

"But we put so much work into the house already," Renji noted reasonably. "Besides, I'm attached to it."

"Yeah, so's someone else," Ichigo shot back sarcastically.

"Ichigo. You're paranoid." Ichigo rolled his eyes, because he wasn't going to be talked into that one again. There's a difference between being paranoid and being scared for a reason, and Shiro was literally trying to kill him. Why would he go to a house where something was trying to kill him?

"Renji, you saw a lightbulb literally explode behind my head."

"Yeah, that shit was bananas," he agreed. "But c'mon. Ghosts?"

"What, so you don't believe in ghosts now?" Ichigo snapped. Renji had always majorly bought into that type of shit, so what the fuck, he's just gonna' stop believing it now that it's inconvenient?

"Well... you're the one who always said that stuff was out there to scam people," Renji hedged cautiously. Ichigo sighed. He had, hadn't he.

"Well it is, but. . ." Ichigo trailed off.

"Okay, whatever, I didn't call to start a fight - I don't wanna' argue about whether or not ghosts are real, alright? I don't know what I believe, but I do know that you feel creeped out being there, and I know it's not good to live in a place you don't feel safe in. . . but, babe, can't you give it another chance?" Renji pleaded. "I really hoped that this was it for us. I mean, you don't want me coming over to the clinic anymore, so… I tried to get us a place you would like, I really did."

Feeling a pit of guilt knot itself in his heart at Renji's sad tone, Ichigo grit out, "I know, but…"

"I mean… I know I can't make it home to you if you just don't feel it, but. . ." Ichigo put his hand to his forehead, covering his eyes and leaning against the counter with a sigh. "I dunno', it just feels like... you're pulling away. Please say I'm bein' a jackass and imagining things. If I fucked up somewhere, I'm sorry."

And for a moment, he wished Renji wouldn't be so serious, wished he wasn't taking this so hard and worrying that Ichigo was going to try and break things off. That fear though, that deeply buried fear of how many had come before him and how easily he could be placed into that line, just another lover with many to come after him, Ichigo couldn't erase that so easily, and the only way to put distance between himself and that fear, was the whatever, to let it come back so that it could smother and numb the emotions.

So instead of comforting Renji and reminding him again that he's not mad, he didn't 'need some space,' Ichigo instead brushed it off as nothing. "Look, just chill," he sighed, "I'm gonna' see you in a couple days anyways. We'll talk about it then."

"Okay. Okay," Renji said uncertainly. "... I love you."

"Yeah," Ichigo replied softly. "See you soon."

There should be no way for Shiro to affect him considering he wasn't at the house, miles away from the haunted property - Ichigo still didn't really think that there was a way for a ghost to affect dreams in the first place, but who knew anymore. Anyway, even being home at the clinic, Ichigo still dreamed about him anyways, just in passing, and thought about him a lot.

He thought about that one dream in Renji's room, the way Shiro had taken his body and used it to kiss Renji . . .

Ichigo knew ghosts couldn't affect dreams, but it made an eerie sort of sense that Shiro was upset with him. He seemed like a jealous guy.

If he remembers, it hadn't been until after the night he and Renji had gone clubbing that Shiro had started getting violent with him. They'd made love and then there'd been the whole thing about, if Ichigo remembers right, Shiro had said something about 'taunting' him.

He didn't know why it was that night, because he and Renji had had sex in the house before, but it had really seemed to set Shiro off, because even if Ichigo didn't remember every detail of that drunken night, he did remember the stark difference from the calm of the day before and the sudden malicious intent the day after.

Maybe it was because they'd done it after Ichigo had started to pay Shiro some attention, tried to make friends with him.

And sure, it was Ichigo's dream, but Shiro had taken his body and tried to be him. Ichigo was bothered by that. There was no way he could make that not bother him.

He was going to think about that and worry about it every time he was in that damn house, and that was what Renji didn't understand. He wanted Ichigo to give it a second chance, but there was no way to erase that memory of all his worst fears, being that unspecial that it didn't make a difference whether he was Ichigo or someone who looked like him, that replaceable, that easily copied.

There was no way to forget it. The only question left was whether or not that pain was worth it to live with Renji and live out the dream he's always had of them being in that serious committed grown-up relationship.

Because trying to go back to the whatever would likely destroy their already fragile relationship, that much was clear.