Chapter 10

Shawna came out of Hotch's office closing the door softly. She hesitated briefly before going down to the bullpen. Everyone looked up and Shawna felt as if they all knew what she was doing in there with Hotch, worse she felt that they thought they had sex. She could feel her cheeks getting red and she pinched her thigh to get her mind off of the guilt she was feeling. Morgan averted his eyes, but Shawna didn't feel that he was angry about them any longer. She didn't blame him for what he said. He was concerned for JJ and that was all in the past. JJ was fine and they had a job to do. Shawna still felt that it was none of his business and he respected her by not bringing it up again.

Once she stood at the front of the table she explained that they would be meeting here in an hour with JJ, "Go do what you need to and get back here then."

Both teams scattered, but Austin wasn't sure where to go so she waited. Shawna told her, "Use the rest room, go get some air or more coffee, take a walk around the building, see the third floor, whatever you wish. Just make sure you are back here promptly. Hotch does not like to wait." Austin headed to the ladies room and Shawna went to her office.

Reid walked down the steps to the third floor with Julie. She had to tell him something and she asked him to come with her. Once they were on her floor, Julie took him to her new office. She opened the door and walked inside. He came in behind her and closed the door, leaning on it with his hands in his pockets. Julie knew that to be sign of insecurity for him. She went to him and stood inches from him. She looked into his eyes and he removed his hands from his pockets, grabbing her face. He kissed her and she leaned against him.

"Julie you know I love you, don't you?"

She kissed him again before she said, "Yes Spencer I do, and I love you too."

Because they were honest with each other, usually and Julie was still feeling a bit out of the loop with him, because of his struggles, she asked, "Were you going to tell me about Austin?"

Spencer was confused by what Julie was saying and he asked her what she meant.

"How do you know her?" Julie questioned.

"A case we were working on, she almost was a victim of Robert Parker. Robert Parker is serial killer who was picking up women in bars." Spencer omitted the rest of the story because he could tell she was hurt by this. He didn't know why she was feeling this way. She should know he only wanted her. Maybe all the tension between them was making her insecure. He wished he could make her understand what he went through with Tobias.

What he didn't understand was Julie knew what he was going through about the kidnapping; she sometimes could hear Merritt's voice. He didn't drug her so she didn't know about that. She did understand that you never got past the haunted feelings that one day the person could come for you again, no matter how unrealistic that was.

Julie broke the silence that had settled upon them as they both got lost in thought. "Did you have a relationship with her?"

Reid was astounded by the question. And he asked, "What does that mean? Do you think I lied to you about my personal life, before you?" He was getting angry and she saw him clenching his teeth.

"Jewls, are you ever going to completely trust me? 37% of marriages in this country end in divorce, most over money and trust issues. How are we going to have a lasting marriage if we can not get past the trust issues in our engagement?" He opened the door and walked out.

Julie stood in her office, tears streamed down her face. Spencer rarely spouted statistics at her. She knew when he did that it was out of emotions or fear. But he didn't directly answer her question. By not telling her, she felt she had her answer. Julie moved to her desk and sat down. She put her face in her hands and cried. She didn't even get the chance to tell him about the office and her promotion.

When Spencer left he didn't close the door all the way. Shawna came out of her office and she could hear someone crying. She knocked lightly on the door and it opened a little more. Shawna saw Julie sitting with her head on the desk. She walked into the office and closed the door. Her worst fears seem to be happening, and Shawna couldn't help but think this was her fault. Her heart raced a little too, she feared that if it ended for Reid and Julie, she couldn't expect anything to happen between her and Hotch.

Julie lifted her head when she heard the door; her heart leapt a little thinking Spencer had come back. But instead she saw Shawna standing there. Julie put her head back on the desk as fresh tears stung her eyes. Shawna moved to the edge of the desk and sat on it. She rubbed Julies shoulder, and Julie looked up at her again. Shawna grabbed a couple of tissues from the box on the desk and handed them to Julie. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Julie sat back in her chair and wiped her eyes. She didn't talk about it at first. Then she said, "Reid and I had an argument."

Shawna sat and listened as Julie poured her heart out.