Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Alexa belongs to me.

Chapter 9

After my brothers saw my arm Dean immediately started pacing the room and Sam looked like he was trying not to cry.

"What does this mean, that it's a message for dad?" Dean asked breaking the silence.

"I don't know," I said shaking my head. This was too much for me to handle.

"What exactly happened?" he asked.

I took a deep breath and then said, "I went to the bar and destroyed Caleb's truck and hit the tramp," I could see Dean trying to hold back a smile, sometimes I was too much like him for my own good. "then Caleb came out of the bar and I started yelling at him but then his eyes went black and that's when I tried to call you, he must have knocked me out cause next thing I knew I was in the apartment above the bar tied to a chair, I tried to get out and that's when I dislocated my shoulder, he took my knife and said that dad would hit me because I am the spitting image of mom and then he did this before winking at me and leaving Caleb's body." I said as I looked back down at my arm.

"We should call dad," Sam said getting up to start pacing with Dean. I knew they were just as freaked out as I am but there pacing wasn't helping me calm down.

"Hey guys, do I really look like her?" I asked while staring at my arm.

"Mom?" Sam asked coming back over to sit next to me.

I just nodded trying to hold the tears in. Dean came and sat on his bed so he was in front of me. "Yes you do, but that isn't a bad thing."

"Can we just call him in the morning, right now all I want to do is sleep, it's been one hell of a day," I said hoping they would go to sleep so I could try and figure this out without them hovering.

They agreed. Sam lay down next to me in the bed we would be sharing and Dean got into his bed after turning all the lights out. I didn't even feel like changing out of my clothes I just laid there and stared at the ceiling until I could hear them breathing evenly to tell me they were both asleep. I started thinking about Caleb. I know he was possessed so I wasn't really upset about the tramp anymore but I couldn't help but think that if he wasn't with me he would have never gotten possessed in the first place. As long as we are together he is someone the demons can use to get to me and he could end up getting seriously injured or killed. Then I started thinking about what the demon said. I mean I know demons lie but like Dean said they can't lie all the time, can they? Did my dad really hit me all those times because I looked like mom? Is this really all over how I look?

All this thinking was making me sick, literally. I slipped out of bed so I wouldn't wake Sam and made it to the toilet just in time before emptying the contents of my stomach. I brushed my teeth and just stared at myself before punching the mirror as hard as I could and sliding down to the floor crying.

Dean's P.O.V.

It took awhile for me to fall asleep all I could think about was the pain Lex was in. I knew she would bottle everything up until it got to be too much, it's the same thing I would do. I just hoped that maybe we could help her, I hate seeing her in any kind of pain. It felt like I had just fallen asleep when I heard glass breaking. I shot up in bed looking around; Sam must have heard it to because he did the same thing.

"What was that?" I asked getting out of my bed.

I quickly noticed Lex was no longer in bed and made my way to the bathroom with Sam right behind me. When I opened the door I saw the mirror broken and her sitting on the floor crying holding her hand that had glass in it. She looked like a shell of the girl I loved; this wasn't the strong sister that I was used to.

"Baby girl, what did you do?"

Alexa's P.O.V.

I couldn't even answer him I just held my hand and cried. Dean came in, picked me up and put me down on his bed.

"Shh…come on baby girl…let me see your hand," He grabbed our homemade first aid kit and started pulling the glass out of my knuckles while Sam went to clean up the bathroom. When he was done he wrapped my hand.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked lying down next to me on his bed.

I could hear the pain in his voice and put my head on his shoulder still crying, "I don't know… I just couldn't stand look at myself...this is all because of me"

He started combing his fingers through my hair like he used to when I was sick. I immediately relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

MEMORY

Dean-14

Sam-10

Alexa-6

My dad had gone on another business trip and left Dean home to watch Sammy and me. I didn't know yet that he was out hunting. It was Saturday morning and I was usually the first one up and asking to go to the playground and jumping on their beds until they got up, so when both brothers were up before me they knew something was up.

"Hey sleepy head, are you going to lie there all day?" Dean asked standing next to the bed.

I just grunted and rolled away from them to go back to sleep when Sam tried to pull the covers down and saw me sweating.

"Peanut, you ok?" he asked concern lacing every word.

"I don't feel good," I half mumbled and half wined. I hated being sick.

Dean came over and put his hand on my forehead, "Sam, go grab the thermometer she's burning up."

Sam did as he was told but not before kissing me on top of the head. We had one of the ones you put in your ear because like I said I hated being sick and when I was younger I broke the oral one by biting on it. Luckily, I didn't get mercury poisoning. They waited for the beep.

"102.1" Dean sighed as he read it.

I just curled up in a little ball; I couldn't believe how bad my stomach hurt.

"Peanut, what doesn't feel good?" Sam asked while rubbing circles on my back.

I knew he meant well and was concerned for me and I loved him for that but when I was sick all I wanted was Dean. Sam came to realize that after awhile and didn't take it personal anymore, he would do anything so that I was happy and healthy.

"De, it hurts," I whined.

"What hurts?" he asked trying to figure out how sick I was.

"My bel-" I started to answer before my stomach answered for me emptying its contents on my bed sheets. I started crying, I hated vomiting.

"Shh…it's ok…come on…let's get you cleaned up," Sam said while leading me to the bathroom while Dean cleaned up my bed and opened the window. We got back in the room to see it was ready for me to get back in bed now that I had a new sleep shirt on and the dirty sheets in a pile in the corner of the room.

"Feel better baby girl?" Dean asked.

I nodded and climbed into bed with the help of Sam before he left Dean and me to go put my sheets in the washing machine. Dean tucked me in and kissed my forehead before turning to leave.

"Sleep tight, baby girl"

"De…where are you going?" I asked still sniffling back a few tears.

"Just out in the living room, you need to sleep," he answered.

"Please don't leave me," I gave him my puppy dog eyes which probably weren't even necessary since I was sick.

He smiled and climbed into bed with me and I curled up next to him laying my head on his chest. All it took was him combing his fingers through my hair and I was asleep almost instantly.

PRESENT

I woke up the next morning in the bed alone. I looked around and heard the showering going and Dean walked in the room carrying food.

"Well good morning sleepy head," he said tossing me a breakfast burrito.

"Morning," I mumbled.

I couldn't believe how sore I was from the night before. I went to unwrap my breakfast and winced as it hurt my hand. Well that was smart of me, I thought to myself. At any rate punching the mirror made me feel better emotionally so I guess it was worth it. I was still confused and hurt with a lot of questions that needed to be answered but I could stand to look at myself so that was a plus. I got pulled out of my thoughts by my phone ringing.

"You going to answer that?" Sam asked coming out of the bathroom, "It's been going off all morning."

I grabbed my phone and saw the caller ID said Cowboy. I hit ignore and then saw I had eight missed calls and two texts from him. I decided to read the texts. The first one said, Please answer your phone, we need to talk. I deleted it and went to the next message that said, I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you, I'm so sorry. I deleted that message as well and got up to grab clean clothes so I could take a much needed shower. I winced as I was rummaging through my bag for comfortable clothes.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked noticing the pain on my face.

"I'm fine," I replied, it was an automatic response being a Winchester. "Just need a shower and a few large painkillers."

I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and one of Dean's old t-shirts before heading into the bathroom. While the water was getting warm I just stared at where the mirror used to be and sighed. I was too much like Dean when it came to holding in emotions until I blew up and everything would be ok again for awhile. I came out of the shower to see Dean had left and Sam was on his laptop.

"Where did he go?" I asked Sam as I pulled my hair into a ponytail the best I could with my hand and my shoulder screaming at me in pain.

"He went to get you stronger pain killers all we have is Tylenol," he said looking at me like I was some fragile vase about to break at any second.

"Sammy, please stop looking at me like that, I'm fi-" I started until he interrupted. I hated that couldn't they let me get a sentence out first.

"Lex, you are not fine," he said coming to sit next to me on the bed. As soon as he did I head my phone ringing again. "Are you ever going to answer him?"

"I don't know."

"You have to know that it wasn't him that did all this right, I mean yeah he was there, but he was possessed he would never purposely hurt you."

"I know and he would have never gotten in that situation in the first place if it wasn't for me," I said looking Sam dead in the eyes.

"You can't blame yourself for everything, peanut it will eat you alive," he tried to rub my back but I got off the bed and turned to look at him.

"The demon was trying to get to me Sam and I am very thankful that it was not you or Dean but he went after someone I care about and that is not ok, he would be safer if he just stayed away from me, then I couldn't get him hurt!" I said getting louder with every word.

"Everybody needs somebody sometimes; it's ok to love him."

Dean walked in and heard what Sam said and was confused on what was going on.

"No it's not," I yelled grabbing my phone and heading towards the door.

"Lex, where you going?" Dean asked still confused on what was going on.

"To call dad," I said before slamming the door and pacing the parking lot.

I knew my brothers have called him before and always got his voicemail. What was I even supposed to say? Hi dad, I know the last time you saw me you said I wasn't good enough but a demon came after me and has a message for you. Oh, and by the way I know you hit me because I look like mom. Yeah that would go over well. I finally got the nerve to call him. It rang a few times before going to voicemail after I heard the beep I left a message.

"Hey dad, it's Alexa, I need to talk to you if you could call me back please, it's about a demon and he said he had a message for you. Please, just call me back or let me know if we can meet you somewhere, bye"

I sighed and sat on the curb not ready to go back in with my brothers just yet and my phone started ringing. I got hopeful that it was my father calling me back but it was a text from Caleb.

At least let me know you aren't seriously hurt

I knew he would keep calling and texting me until he heard from me and all I wanted was a few minutes of piece and quiet.

I'm ok

Thank God, when can I come see you?

I don't think that is a good idea. I need time to sort things out.

Like with us?

Yes

Don't walk away from us, I need you

I didn't respond, I put my phone on vibrate in case my father called and rested my head on my knees spacing out until I felt someone sit down beside me. I looked over to see Dean handing me a bottle of water and a few painkillers.

"Here this will help the pain," he said.

I took them and then leaned on his shoulder, "Hey De, when did everything get so fucked up?"

He put his arm around me, "I don't know squirt, I don't know…" he trailed off for a minute before starting again, "I do know that as long as I'm here and as long as Sammy is here, we will do whatever it takes to make it better again."

I smiled I knew Dean was having a lot of chick-flick moments lately so I tried to lighten the mood, "So does that mean you will take me shopping?"

"Hey, I didn't say all that!" he said helping me up so we could go back inside. "Ask Samantha I'm sure he will take you," he laughed as we walked through the door.

"Hey Sammy, want to take me shopping?" I asked giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

"Why don't you just wait a week and I'm sure you will get everything you want," he replied.

I looked at him confused and then over to Dean as if to say 'do you know what he is talking about?' Dean just busted out laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked starting to get annoyed.

"Lex, your birthday is next week," Sam answered.