Chapter9 –Decision–
Jasper skipped his next class and took Alice home. I went with them. We ran, leaving the cars behind for the others.
As soon as we had arrived at home, Jasper carried Alice upstairs and vanished into their room. Esme looked at me interrogatively. Worry was carved into her face.
I shook my head, still too exhausted after what had just happened and hid into my room. I felt bad for leaving Esme alone downstairs, worried, scared. But I couldn't explain anything now, I couldn't speak at all. Using my gift on Chime had left me extremely exhausted, as exhausted as I had never been before.
Chime. That name made me shudder. I was scared of a human, a little powerless human. What was wrong with me?
I turned the hi-fi system on and collapsed on the divan. Piano tunes filled the room. "Pathitique" was a wonderful song in a torturous way. Dark, heavy notes joined in beautiful cacophony, like a tearful voice, breaking away at the end of the sentence. Then suddenly fast, running, falling, thousand thoughts and screams exploding in your head. It was a fight but then again it wasn't because you already knew the outcome.
It was bad, the outcome.
My breath accelerated, I was gasping for air like someone drowning. I pressed my eyes shut and shook my head to the beat of the music. No, not shaking –I was past that–; I was tossing.
Crescendo and decrescendo and then growing again and falling… It was battle, a lost battle.
Before the final dooming accords came I jumped to the hi-fi system and pressed the off-button.
The sudden silence pressed on my ears and made my panting-sounds appear even louder like I was standing in a giant theatre with great acoustics and a freaking megaphone at my lips.
I felt the terrible strong urge to take the CD out and crush it to thousand little pieces but I managed to suppress it. I would have regretted it afterwards. It wasn't Beethoven who got me so irritated after all.
There was a knock at the door.
I sighed. "Come in."
The door swung open slowly, revealing a hugely concerned looking Esme. "May I come in?" she asked again like a little child asking her mother for permission to go to the playground.
I forced a smile on my face but according to her expression I failed terribly. "Sure."
She stepped in and closed the door just as carefully as she had opened it. She was watching me. "Do you want to tell me what is bothering you, Derick?"
I sighed, leaning against the desk, needing its support to stand. "No… yes… I don't know." I pressed my palm against my forehead in frustration. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
And then I told her, told her everything that had happened this week. It was absolutely crazy how a person could turn your life upside-down within four days. I told her about Chime, about the choir, about our little experiment, I even told her about Ms. Fairyman which reminded me on the stupid tarot-card she had given me. This detail I kept to myself though, don't ask me why, I have no idea.
With each single word I said I felt lighter but also guiltier, because a weird feeling told me that I should keep Chime a secret although she wasn't a secret at all. When I'd finished I felt weirdly calm and empty. Like a balloon which had lost all its air during a turbulent flight
Esme didn't say anything during the entire time. She only nodded now and then to show me that she was still listening. She also didn't say anything after I had finished. She just watched me for a few minutes with that loving gaze that only mothers had and no one could entirely read.
"So," she finally replied. Why was she looking embarrassed? "You… um… don't like that girl. Is that correct?"
I laughed, shaking my head. "No, definitely not. Actually, don't like is a great understatement, I guess." That was the one thing I was two hundred-percents sure about.
She nodded. It looked kind of defeated and disappointed.
Wait! Was she seriously hoping for me and Chime…
"Then, it's better for you to avoid her, I guess," she said, interrupting my thoughts. She sounded unsure, showing the fact that she was really uncomfortable with the idea of two people disliking each other. She was Esme after all. Her passion was to bring people together, not to separate them.
But I kind of liked that idea. "Really?"
She nodded, slowly, hesitantly. "Well, since you don't like each other, I guess that would be… the best solution." –she grimaced slightly at the last words– "But only if you are with that, of course."
I smiled. Yes, that was very fine with me.
"Of course you still have to work with her for the choir," she reminded me.
My face fell.
She smiled in amusement. "You promised Ms. Cheney, remember?"
I sighed. "Sure." –Note to me: never ever promise anything to anyone before thoroughly checking who else was also involved in the deal.
Then I remembered something else. "But what about… her strange immunity against our gifts?"
"It is amazing, sure," she admitted. "Maybe she has some kind of special gift like Bella who already was a great shield before her transformation. But…" she paused, looking for the right words. "well, since you are planning to avoid her then…"
"That is not our problem, either," I finished the sentence for her. I knew Esme well enough to know that she would never be able to say something so rude and cold. It usually wasn't my style either unless it was necessary. And now it was very necessary.
Chime Winds was not my problem. And I would be showing that.
Sunday rolled nearer and with it the school performance. We –the band and the choir– practiced for hours every evening after school. Ms. Cheney had become a little rough and impatient because of all the stress in the mean time. She even screamed once when a few boys just couldn't bring themselves to concentrate on the work on hand.
The whole thing was becoming more and more annoying.
I ignored Chime. It was surprisingly easy. It seemed that you had to concentrate on her to even register her existence. Her shield must be really strong if that was it what she was.
However, there was still one thing that I had to do before I could forget her completely.
"Ah, you finished the duet," Ms. Cheney said happily, taking the music sheets out of my hands. She thumbed through the pages, stopping here and there to nod approvingly. "Brilliant," she praised in the end. "Just, brilliant! Thank you, Derick."
I tried hard to keep out the smugness from the smile. "Anytime, Ms. Cheney," I responded. "Could you give Chime a copy, please? I hadn't found the time to do so myself."
She nodded. "Of course. Does she already know about the song?"
I smiled and this time I couldn't hold back the smugness. "Sure."
I was so smug and confident that I forgot who I was fouling around with. Very bad mistake.
I was sitting at the piano; practice hadn't started yet because Ms. Cheney was late. The poor woman had been hardly herself in the last few days because of the performance which was Sunday and that was tomorrow.
I was staring down at the keys, counting the many scratches on the old black and white keys out of total boredom when an ugly sound interrupted my "work".
I looked up, meeting Chime who was standing next to me, tow fingers of hers were pushing down a "B" and the "C" next to it at the same time. –Dissonance.
I grimaced. "Nice."
She didn't reply, as always. But then again her silence wasn't her usual silence. There was something angry behind it, something furious and dangerous. Her eyes were two blue flames now, burning everything down that crossed their path.
I gulped down the sarcastic comments I wanted to make and stared up at her. Although it was terribly loud in the gym –kids were chatting and laughing, instruments were tested and tuned–, I didn't hear anything. It was like she had engulfed me with her silence, pulled me into the unknown depths of her darkness.
"I'm not coming tomorrow," she finally said, her voice dangerously calm.
"Why?" I asked in a hoarse voice. It was more reflex than curiosity.
"You know why." Her eyes narrowed.
I gulped. My mouth suddenly felt very dry but not because of thirst. "You can't just leave. Ms. Cheney-"
"I will," she cut me off mid-sentence. Her voice was still scarily calm but nonetheless as sharp as a knife. "if you insist on me singing that song." She spat the last word like a curse.
That awoke the vain artist in me. "What's your problem? It's a good song."
She ignored my comment, like always. "I am not singing tomorrow," she said sternly, then she turned on her heels and left the gym.
I feel cold, empty my way
This night is heavy, cold and grey
It clings to me
Won't let me go and be free
My hands are tied
I can't wake up
And the last sunrays are shut out
I see me fall
But I won't give up
'Cause I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
Take my heart
Take my strength
Take all my hope
And all the pain
From my hands
And never give them back again
What is that
Where should I go
Where are the heroes I dreamt of
And if we go
I don't know which way to chose
'Cause I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
Don't know where to head, even if I can
Even if I can…
But I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
I love this entire life
I love all those moments you fall in
I love this entire life
I love this entire day
Love this entire world
We did not notice her absence until it was time for the final duet. And the duet became a solo. Chloe sang alone. Chime didn't come.
woa! this feels SOOOO good! -uploading a new chapter! *party* XDD
I'm soooo sorry for making you all wait - you all have probably already forgotten me! XD
I can't explain why... but somehow I couldn't come up with new ideas to continue this story... T.T I could blame it all on school and life but I'm a honest person: I was just too LAZY to do anything at all! XDD
well, now I finally reached the next level in this story... *sigh* but there's still soooo much to do! .
you can help: by writing LOTS of reviews! ;) (in order to keep me motivated XD) and I promise the next chap won't take this long ^^
-Mulan-
PS. the song is by Juli and is called "Dieses Leben" (="This Life") - you can find the orinigal lyrics as always on my Night-Galary ^^
PPS. I changed the Night-Galary a little bit in order to bring some order into it ;) I guess that you can say I "tidied up" ^^ - tell me if you like it!