A/n: Garlic Jr., here Gohan comes! Yeah, I know. Getting Gohan to do my dirty work really isn't that honorable.
Vegeta: Got that right brat.
Me: No! The rashes were bad enough!
Disclaimer: I do not own DB/Z/GT. I do, however unfortunately, own this can of tuna. Must...resist...
Kami's Lookout
"Garlic sir?" Ginger spoke up timidly.
"Hmm?" replied the almighty, transformed Garlic Jr.
"You do realize that the red light you saw wasn't-" Ginger's sentence was cut off when Sanjo slapped his hand across Ginger's mouth.
"Ginger, Sanjo, and whatever your name is," called Garlic.
The three minions lookked up.
"I think you all need an upgrade," decided Garlic. "From now on, Ginger'll be Vinegar. Sanjo'll be Mustard."
"What can I be?" asked the nameless minion because the author couldn't bother to go find out his name.
"Sorry, can't think of anything right now," said Garlic, "maybe later." With that, Garlic seemed to take a sliver of red light from the comet in the sky and shot it into his two favored minions. They got a power-up while the nameless one watched sadly. And then the poor guy was killed by the resident lunatic.
"Take that, Girly Sr.!" shouted a drunk Kami.
"That wasn't me you fool!" shouted a very angry Garlic.
"Oh no!" shouted Kami, "there're more of them!" The drunk Namek swung his cane, but was intercepted by the newly powered up Vinegar.
"What should I do with him, boss?" asked Vinegar.
Mr. Popo wandered around the corner at that moment saying, "Kami! I finished cleaning the back room!"
"Impossible!" exclaimed Kami, "that room was full of junk! Where'd you put it all!"
Popo raised a glass bottle to the light. "I let the bottle absorb all the junk."
"SEIZE THE BOTTLE!" cried Garlic.
Mustard attacked Popo and, after a short fight, wrestled the bottle away from Popo. Taking it from his minion, Garlic opened the bottle, which promptly sucked the raving Namek and geni into the bottle.
"OH MY KAMI!" screamed Kami, "IT WREAKS IN HERE!"
Son House
ChiChi always expected the worse out of her son. After all, if you were expecting the worse, the worse wouldn't seem so bad and anything that wasn't so bad would be a pleasant surprise. However, when your son brings home his girlfriend who's the same age as yourself, you have to wonder: "WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" screamed a hysterical ChiChi.
"Mom, I already told you, it's not-"
"But Gohan!" whined Marron, "I thought you were my-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence," ChiChi said dangerously.
"-boyfriend's little-" Marron never got to finish. ChiChi swung her Frying Pan and Marron's face was unrecognizable as she flew out the window. Yes! I finally got to destroy that-I mean, uh-
The author feels very sorry for Krillin's loss.
"WHY!" Krillin grieved for all of two seconds.
"Ahh, she wasn't that great of a girlfriend anyways," Krillin said.
"No."
"But Moooom!"
"No way Gohan. You just had the nerve to bring a girl-"
"But I told you already. She wasn't my girlfriend, she was Kril-"
"Don't talk back to your mother," ChiChi shouted as she delivered a blow from her weapon.
Kami's Lookout
"Vinegar, go put that raving lunatic in the back room, would you?" Garlic Jr. ordered.
"Yes sir," said the minion.
"Mustard, take this bottle of mist and dumped it out over the Earth."
"Yes sir. But what's in there exactly?" asked the curious Mustard.
"The Black Fog Mist."
Mustard peered at the label. "Sir, I think you got the wrong-"
"Just dump it already!" screamed Garlic.
"Yes sir!" exclaimed the minion as he uncapped the bottle and dumped it overboard. Nobody knew that the bottle's label had actually said vaporized tobacco. Nobody but an insane Namek and his devoted servant.
"Oh no," Kami said. The Namek seemed to, for once, have realized their current situation.
"Oh no!" Popo said in horror, "that's the vaporized tobacco! If it takes permanent effect, people will go insane with so much tobacco in their system! Then, the tobacco-crazed citizens of Earth will attack each other violently! It's just like the Black Fog Mist!"
"And I'll never get to drink that tobacco now," cried a clearly still insane Kami. Popo sighed wearily.
Mt. Paozu
"GOOOOHAAAAAAAN!"
This only helped to speed Gohan up. He knew sneaking out was a bad idea, but Krillin and Icarus had talked him into it. Little did Gohan know, his mother had began smoking and was beginning to go insane under the strain of inhaling so much smoke.
That's why, my younger audience, you should never smoke. You'll either end up like our resident lunatic-"HEY!"-or like a cranky ChiChi, who had no idea where Gohan had gone and was rabidly attacking a confused Ox-King. Unbeknownst to many of us, Ox King was a person who quit smoking a long time ago. Something about setting his palace on fire and how the black market just wasn't the way it used to be. But I digress, back to the plot.
Gohan had finally arrived at Kame House, but it seemed his friends were becoming stressed zombies. Following the disgusting smell of tobacco, Gohan found himself at Korin's tower. The cat was asleep, but Yajirobe seemed to have barricaded himself in a room. Gohan kept hearing the samurai chanting, "Tobacco comes from bad men who want money." He is, of course, correct, but I'm not supposed to be here as a good influence. No, my job's much simpler.
Gohan, figuring that all the tobacco must be drifting off the lookout, began to climb.
A/n: Lol, hope this chapter made you guys laugh as much as I did. Now, the last part of this arc probably won't come out till this weekend. Sorry for how long it'll take, but my grades really hit the dump so I gotta manage my time better. T0B0W, OVER AND OUT!