So here it is chapter that it taken so long but I was in Greece and then am so busy with family things and finding a job. So I don't always have the time to write but il try to write at least a chapter a month. Hope you will enjoy the chapter I have many plans for this story and plan to do lots of chapter detailing their past as vampires so won't be rushed to get to the modern day parts. Once again thanks so much to everyone who read this ,I know not everyone was Rebekol shippers but you all seem to be enjoying it and moved by it so that means so much as a writer to hear. Love to hear your thought feel free to leave a review I read everyone. Know it been a while since earlier chapters so James is once again Kol and Rebekah child that she gave up. Kol has no idea and assumes that James was a past Lover she met when she left town.

There was only an endless darkness that passed through my cold dead body. No light, no peace just emptiness the remedy to bring me back was choked down my throat. My choice unknown to me at the time for immortality unwillingly forced in my body as I felt pressure against my mouth. At first I wanted to spit it out the bitter salty taste of the unknown substance flooding my mouth but within a few seconds I was clutching the goblet and pouring it faster in my mouth moaning.

It was like a rich wine warming to the soul, filling my body with pleasure from the taste and making me feel revived and energised. My eyes were closed still too tired to lift themselves open but they fluttered gently like a bird trying to will itself to see the place death had transported me to.

"…Ko…Ko …..ko …Kol"

I finally managed speak

"Is that you" I ask

I just feel a light pressure as someone holds my hands while someone else holds my mouth open roughly till the mixture is consumed.

I feel the energy from the drink flowing through my body almost as if it's streaming through every inch of me, to my very core changing the most fragile parts of me it seems. I manage to force my eyes open a little scared to see where the journey of death had swept me to. All I could think about was praying that in death I had found my brothers and Kol. It was the only thing giving me any hope for this new existence. It seemed as if the afterlife was taunting me when my eyes open. I was met with the sick twisted grin of my father wiping his hands from the blood that had spilt from the goblets. Father was now forcing it upon Elijah mouth giving him no choice or chance to turn away just like he had done with me.

"I'm in hell" I whisper in despair

As I see the place of our massacre, what once was our home to be our eternal tomb .It seemed even in death we had not escaped Father's torture. I began to shake and sob in to my chest. Closing my eyes wanting erase the image from my mind. I feel hands on my back my body sensing its Kol but my mind knowing it's all a trick, a new kind of hell to live in.

I cover my eyes so I drown out Kol voice trying to sooth me

"You're not real I scream leave me alone" "he is dead I'm dead just let me mourn without seeing your face knowing your gone".

Tears run over my face as the blood pounds in my ears banging like a drum as I feel the phantom Kol wrapping me in his arms. Trying to still me as I fight to move from him screaming full blast. Thundering footsteps join the pounding as Kol is wrenched from me and I'm pulled up by my hair as Fathers sickening cruel breaths fill my ears. His arms grab around my neck and crush my neck till it snaps and the darkness of death once again takes me as its victim.

This time I'm thankful to leave this afterlife. Perhaps it was my curse for all my wrong doings in my past life was to die again and again never being with the ones I love or having Kol by my side.

I don't know how long I stayed in the peace of nothing but slowly my senses began to return and I stir my body twisting itself slowly awake from the numbness in my bones. I feel what feels like my blanket bed furs under my body and the crackling of a fire beside me. Warmth being enveloped into my flesh from the hot heat..

My throat feels dry and rough as I feel both a mixture of thirst and hunger. However it's not like a sensation I ever had my body is craving something unknown. Not like the water or food I normally cling to when I need to give my body what it demands. Groggily I sit up moaning a little as I put a hand to my head and start to sit up my eyes slowly through much heaviness forcing themselves a little more open. I see the flickering flames but the colours blind me seeming more intense. As the orange flames seem to burn a thousand times brighter than before. The heat it gives off suffocating me in warmth it never used to disperse from this time of year.

Before I have a chance to get up and try to put the fire out I'm wrapped in to a pair of arms. Being hugged with the force of what feels like a bull as I'm pulled in to the chest of the man presence, I will always know whether awake or asleep.

I twist my hands in to the shirt clutching the material hard as I try to force Kol arms away from me and get rid of this haunting vision. I am tearful again as I beg to be left alone in peace

"I can't do this I can't watch the man I love holding me knowing he is dead and gone and he died to save me." I desperately cry out as I pound my wrists against his chest.

Kol hands cup my face making me look at him through my tears as he plants kisses all over my forehead and cheeks finally stopping just above my lips his face a little scared of the meltdown I seem to be having

…."Shush Bekah it's me its Kol your safe … your alive Kol's voice whispering soothingly.

I put my hand out still not trusting him as I bring it to lay over his heart. No heartbeats greets me nothing it's just still. I start to pull away again but Kol brings my hand up to my heart… and I jolt when I realise that we are matching. The heart that once lived and granted me life in this body was deadly still and unbeating .Not even a flicker or a stir was inside me now. I stop in shock my brain trying to wrap its head around what Kol was trying to tell me. I start to grow angry that I keep having to experience horrible visions.

I feel anger raise in me like a wave that comes crashing over me, as strength I never knew I had is unleashed from me. I manage to take Kol by surprise pushing him back from me as he tumbles on the bed and I run to the fireplace picking up the poker. Kol pounces from the bed as he tries to keep up the game of convincing me this is real. Before he has a chance to tell me more lies I push the poker hard up against his chest where his heart use to lay

"I don't want to hear it. I don't know what kind of demon or hellish things you are but I don't want to hear it."

"Everyone I loved is dead or been ripped away from me "First first ….

I want to say James but I can't bring myself to recall on the pain of giving my son away so I move on to the next name first

"Henrik than my brothers and Kol Just let me linger in peace "Im a sinner Kol is a sinner but Id sin a million times over for him"

"He died to save me and now I can never thank him for protecting me."

I use one hand to brush away the stream of tears that had fallen over my cheek from my outburst. I Start coughing again my throat sore from the thirst I'm experiencing as I huddle over in pain dropping the poker as I hold on to my stomach as I'm raked with spasms.

Without a second hesitation Kol rushes to me and I assume he will no doubt kill me thus ending this vision and carrying me to a new one but he takes me by surprise as he lifts me up in his arms and lays me on the bed.

Kol's face transforms slightly the muscles twisting as his eyes turn black and fangs like wolves break free from his gums. As he brings his wrist to his mouth and tears in to his flesh creating an open wound the blood already dripping from his wrist and on to my arms. Kol moves closer my breathing hitches in terror as my worst fears are realised and his demon face is truly revealed to me.

I try to shove the wrist back as he begs me with his all to let him help. That drinking this is what IL need he explain everything soon but he can't see me in this pain anymore it truly is killing him. My hand wraps around with the full intention to twist his wrist from my lips but then the aroma of the blood meets my nose and all sense is lost.

The rich tangy smell suddenly invades my body and my stomach reacts desperate for the blood to be taken in my mouth. An intense pain rocks my mouth as I feel something tearing through my teeth. Cutting through my closed lips from being clamped shut as they wanting to resist only moments before. The next thing I knew I was licking my lips looking at Kol watching me intently. As I breathe heavily his pained face now filled with nothing but desire as I bring my tongue out and lick across the cut vein. Slowly running what I assume is a pair of teeth that match the same one the demon who was hiding behind my brother face was using.

I start to grip harder as the blood rushes down my throat, not even the fear that this will change me in to a demon will stop this bloodlust. Kol growls softly as I use my teeth to bite in to the cut flesh again that somehow had managed to close up slightly. I straddle him holding his wrist higher as I make small moans of pleasure as a sense of energy fills me and the hunger is slowly being satisfied.

Now a new kind of hunger consumes me and all the passion I felt I had for Kol before feels more intense more desperate. I gasp in shock when I rip the shirt that I had just been trying to undo the string around Kol's neck as it falls in tatters around him. Kol groaning seductively as he flips us over his body now over mine as he kisses down my neck. Nipping and sucking at every piece of flesh he finds driving me crazy as my fingers tug on his hair.

I hear a rip as my dress is torn in half falling beside me as the necklace around my neck is pulled tight so Kol can finally crash our lips together in a fiery kiss. That sparks every cell inside me a thousand times over.

No time when we were alive had it ever felt this passionate. It was like we were showing one another exactly how much love, how much desire how much sexual craving we felt. Like we would die if we had to go another moment without this. Our tongues duelled and I felt Kol's fangs pierce my lip as he gently tugged it between his lips to suck on it.

Fangs …..fangs 0nce again the revelation hit me like a ton of bricks . This was not Kol this was not the man I loved. I was being fooled and played with a demon wearing my dead brother and lovers face. I used the only weapon I ever had an advantage of over Kol and seduced him.

By gently running my hands down his back and lower till they were resting under the dip of his spine where his hips started. One place he had always been sensitive .I started stroking and caressing the skin his moans filling my mouth showing me I had him distracted enough.

Moving my body slightly I manage to bring my knee in contact with his member as I push down with all of my weight making him howl in pain. As Kol doubles over his eyes being replaced with shock at my action and anger.

Jumping from the bed I wrestle with the key twisting it in the key hole my fingers shaking as I try to keep calm and escape to anywhere but here. My body is shoved up gently against the door and Kol's hand covers my mouth his angered and unsteady breathing suffocating around me as he breaths beside me

"What the fuck was that Bekah … One minute you're attacking me with kisses "Not that I mind, than your trying to flee from me…."

His voice slowly turns from anger to bitter sadness it breaking a little

.."Don't. You know by now I'd never hurt you … never"

Kol flips me round his hand still pressed against my mouth his eyes still dark with anger but mainly fear … fear of losing something fear of being alone … fear of being without me .

I stop struggling a little as I feel my emotion of fear draining slightly. From the moment I had woken up in here I had been faced with the face of my dead brother, raked with pain from an unknown hunger. Had drunk the blood of this demon and loved every single drop that had been feasted upon my tongue and than I had almost lost my body in passion. That I had not even wanted to try and fight, even knowing that he was a monster. I just wanted to forget, to not think, to not care, to lose myself to the idea that it was really Kol .That we were together once again. That death had not been able to separate us.

Kol keeps on now as he holds me closer shaking me a little in his desperation to keep me in the room with him.

" I never hurt you Bekah not like that …. Not even when you tore my heart out with James I had to fight the rage within me so bad "

"It scared me so much. I had never wanted to hurt anyone as much as I did before that night."

"You made me feel like nothing, just another toy; you had got bored with and were throwing away to burn in the bonfire."

"Everything in me wanted to track down the man you had chosen to love over me, to hang him up and make him feel as much pain as I felt being crushed with by your revelation."

"The only hope that had got me through all those months when you were away was the hope you would come back one day and It would be like how it used to."

"Then you tried to distance yourself, forcing me to try and forget every special moment we had ever shared as if it meant nothing".

Kol was now screaming at me.

His face starting to transform slightly so it flickered between his demon face and normal one as he fought to try and keep control of himself. Kol's hands around my waist starting to crush me slightly making me yelp a little in pain.

It was that sound that brought him out of the trance as he pulled away in horror giving me 'hold on my body freeing as he sits on the bed his head in his hands as he tried to breathe.

Kol's body now shaking so much like a tree in a storm its branches twisting to keep a hold of itself on the tree. I opened my mouth to scream to call for help anything to escape this monster hold. Who was inflicting the worst kind of pain by making me watch my brother lose all sense of who he was and hope. Turning him in to some unknown, unstable person consumed by rage. One who enjoyed the idea of inflicting rage and having power over all those around them, deadly control.

My mouth opens ready to scream praying if there was a God he would hear my screams and take me away from this place. Finally sparing me pity and letting me rest in peace eternally. Crossing my fingers I take a second to see my brothers faces and prayed with all my might that they would be there waiting for me on the other end. To greet me and keep me company for all of time.

The screams however never start as Kol is fisting his hair as he starts to shake more erectly. Then he starts to scream like a wolf when he howls for the one he has loved and lost.

I see tears that he had never wished to shed spill from his eyes and Kol is unable to stop their downward path. Showing that behind this enraged man there is a vulnerable monster. Who is scared that he has driven away all those he has loved, that he is truly alone and the one he loved the most in this world he has scared away for the last time.

Kol's bitter twisted thoughts about what he wanted to do to James to get back at me for breaking his heart. The guilt swamps me knowing that If I had just been honest with Kol and told him the truth it wouldn't be eating away at him like some plague.

Perhaps this was my punishment, my wrong that I had to spare Kol from to ease his suffering .Perhaps this vision of him was meant to be comforted and I am meant to ease his fury once and for all. Before I knew was I was doing I was burying my head in his shoulder crying with him. I held on to him tighter than I had ever held on to anything.

At first I don't even think he was aware I was there, his body still so uncontrolled even to himself. I hold on tighter wrapping my legs against his tighter. Almost like in a cage, letting my body and warmth sooth him and show him that even after his breakdown I am not scared away. I just hold him for a second as I hold him in my arms trying to take away some of his pain that had all been created from my scared little lies.

Death had taught me one thing you could not go back to your past but that didn't mean it was too late to take away the pains of the past.

"Shush …Kol ….. I will never run from you again … "It's me and you forever even if this is all there is in this death".

"Even if we have to live in hell for the sins we did in our lives." "We are here together and you will never have to be alone" ….

"Heaven hell it's all the same if we are together right"? I finish my speech.

I cup his face in mine as I lean my forehead over his, knowing my words are slowly breaking through to him. Just like an echo from far away, the words being heard but still the message not one hundred percent understood by the receiver.

Placing a kiss at the side of Kol's mouth, I smile gently brushing away my own tears as I bring the words to my lips. Knowing that they would help end some of this suffering on Kol.

My pain could never leave me as I only knew the truth about James but telling the truth to Kol would only break his heart more .To know that he had a son out there, that he would never get a chance to meet or see to watch grow would be like a poison .Kol had already become sick enough with the lies I had dealt from that summer last year upon my return.

I pull away after the kiss breathing heavily as I take Kol's fingers in my hand intertwining them with mine as I hold his unsure gaze in my eyes.

"I don't blame you for anything you said …sure its scares me a little to hear how much anger and hurt ya had towards him and me"

"But I realise now and long before we died, that I never truly loved him he was just someone who treated me kindly when I was heartbroken."

"I just was so desperate to forget you ,to forget every part of our past so I didn't have to deal with the thought I'd never be able to have you"

"Father always knew the way to hurt me was through the ones I loved and I was so terrified that you would be the next victim"

"You were so stubborn Kol and sometimes love it so much but you wouldn't walk away or protect yourself.

" I lived in fear that you would be killed protecting me or that father would find about us if we both carried on under the same house"

"We both know he would of killed us both and that's why I did it all". "That's why I tried to move on, to feel love with someone else."

"To give David a real shot and consider his marriage proposal, but damn you Kol, you ruined my heart"

"Yet after all that trying it never changed you were the only person I wanted to spend my life with"

"I know it was wrong trust me every damn moment I knew I shouldn't of felt like that but I don't regret it for anything".

"As It was the happiest I had ever been, I had never felt more loved more safe more wanted" It was all you that did it to me, Kol you loved me so strongly"

"More than some people ever love one another in their whole married life. I'm just so sorry Kol that part of me didn't let you free."

"Perhaps you would of left, found someone else to love that strongly and you wouldn't be dead with me right now"…. My words break off with sobs so strongly that I have to take a moment to remember I don't need to breath anymore.

So even though I feel like I'm dying with the pain and intensity of my feelings. I am reminded that I'm already dead it makes no difference. New waves of tears hit me. As I think of all the things IL miss out on a family, the adventure of a lifetime travelling to new countries, being free from fathers iron fist having a chance to right my wrongs with Kol. It had all been lost.

Even though it hurt this was my reality now and perhaps it was wrong, perhaps I was a fool. However even having a vision of Kol demon or not in my head was better than being apart from him for all eternity.

I was crying so hard that I don't hear Kol at first as his fingers run through my hair his body cradling mine as I poured my whole heart on to us. Both the months and years of feeling fears and love that I felt crashing over us. Kol kept repeating my name in my ear now as the roles reversed and he was fighting to reach and comfort me.

Kol tilts my chin up slowly as he leans in and kisses me so slowly so softly our tears mixing with one another as he smiles through his pain like always. Worrying more about my happiness.

Winking slightly he pulls away and pressed a finger to my lip to stop me interrupting him

"Bekah what a handsome crying pair we make… but pardon me silencing ya"

"However all night you have pushed me, hurt me and then tackled me to a death grip hug before you let me finish. "

"I still can't believe you would give me another chance after I revealed the twisted violence inside me."

"All those terrible things I felt and wanted to do….. but hearing it from your mouth" "Why you said what you did, why you tried to move on I get it"

"I really get it hell we are such a pair, I tried to do the same but I just found a different way to try and sleep with as many people till I forgot about you.

"Forget about the pain of wanting you, the haunting memories but nothing worked."

"Nothing even felt like a flicker of what we had….. Sin or not it was worth every damn second of pain just to keep ya safe and loved."

"I will always protect you, just like how your stubborn self won't leave me when I tell you the same as we realise we can never live apart from the other"

"The risk of dying to protect the one we love is a better alternative to a life lived half empty"

"Bekah we are not dead….. I was trying to explain but you're so feisty at times you never let me get a word in and that's another reason why I love ya"

"But we are not dead…. I can barely explain it even though our hearts are still we are still alive"

"In fact from what our mother and father claim, we will never die, we will never age. "We are now stronger, faster more powerful than anything in this world….. and the only thing we need for this is blood."

"It seemed father gave us a twisted gift of some sort….. He made us soldiers of his war, soldiers that cannot die who cannot be beaten"

"I don't really know more yet Mother and Father have gone out in search to bring us back more blood….. it's hard to not arouse suspicion."

"They can't just kidnap half the town and no one notice but father says he has his methods not that the sick bastard has shared anything with us"

"Father says he wants to make sure he has our alliance before he shares any tricks with us. "It seems like we will have to stay a little longer playing him at his own game"

"Till we can take our revenge with our brother's…. but for now Bekah to be safe we have to learn more"

"About what they did to us and how to embrace it .Just a little longer Bekah can you manage that"?

I gulp nodding the revelation knocking my fragile body even more as it hits me. That even though we are alive, it is in a way that feels like a curse more than a gift to me. One major thing that sets me apart from everyone and takes us further away from our dreams of freedom . I look up at Kol tensely as I take in his words sombrely.

"Il listen to what they have to say, and Il stay for as long as you need till we ready to take our revenge….. But whatever tricks whatever gifts we learn I don't want to embrace them."

"If blood is the only thing I need to truly not die than I will live for you and my brother's who I thought id never see again….. but I don't want to embrace this."

I look to your arm still bloody and run my tongue across where the fangs had escaped from.

"I might not of had a choice of what father made me….. but I don't want to be a monster"

"I don't want to be strong and I don't want power….. I just want a normal life or as normal as it can be from now on."

Kol opens his mouth trying to argue with me but I stare at him holding firm.

"I won't change my mind on this and you won't change your mind on staying here till we learn what we need" "To know how to defeat father and live safely with all the details powers.

"Do we have a deal of understanding"? I say sadly.

Taking his hand to my lips bringing it to my lips kissing it gently just feeling relief that this is not a vision. That I'm not dead and in some ways I still have a chance to live and feel, even without a beating heart. My heart will have to come from my emotions this lifetime.

Kol nods gritting his teeth a little frustrated how shall we seal this deal he says giving me his hand to put in mine. I move mine away before he can catch it.

"How about sealing it with my favourite way with a kiss?"

I say as I claim his mouth to mine kissing away everything in that moment, nothing but us in the room, no pain, and no fear is felt. Only love for those few moments it's as if the night never happened.

Tragically the sound of Father and Mother talking heatedly brings us back to the nightmare as Kol helps fetch me a new dress and pulls his tattered shirt over himself kissing me riskily now. As they almost around the front of the house and can see him leave my room any second.

Kol races from my room as we say we love one another. Kol now running across to his the door closing it just as Mother and Father return. It seems as even in the journey of death it had not made us much wiser in this risk it seemed.

Father voices shouted out for us and sighing taking one last look at my room that was now my prison again, I left the room and headed for the chat that would change our lives in every sense of the word.