Hi there. I'm sorry that the chapters aren't coming out regullary but work calls my name and doesn't let me think enough about what to do with the story next, what to reveal in it etc. Anyways, I hope that, despite the chapters not being published frequently, you will stick to the story. Wait until we get to Erebor. I've been dreaming of those chapters and, although, many things will probably change on our way there, cause, you know, if an inspiration comes I can't just ignore it in order to stick to what I've thought of first, sooo despite that I can assure you, they are worth waiting for. I don't want to push this story too fast, so I can't tell how long will it take me to get there. Just be patient with me, for I'm a very difficult person hah. And an even more difficult author. Okey, let's end this chaotic author's notice aaaand…

…..

Kili run in hurry to the throne room, after all he had to finish his conversation with Thranduil in less than an hour to go to have, yet another nice, talk with his kin. As he was walking, he was looking around, everything seemed to be the same as last time he was here. He stood before the thick, wood – carved door and wondered what could Thranduil want from him, everything they've done seemed to had been setteled before he has left Mirkowood years ago, still, he had an uneasy feeling that the King wouldn't have called him, especially not through his mind, if the bussines wasn't at least a little more serious than just a 'how have you been?'. He took a big, steadying breath and knocked on the only barrier that was still parting him from Thranduil.

'Come in.'

He pushed the heavy door to find Thranduil alone, sitting on his throne with legs crossed. He looked as majestic as always in his white coat which shone almost as if it was made of the stars elves were talking about all the time. His cold gaze fell upon Kili and he couldn't stop himself from thinking how astonishingly powerful that stare is, he felt almost as if Thranduil's eyes were scouting his soul and reading his thoughts. That's the most fearful and respected stare of every king I know, trully. Yuck.

'So we meet again, Kili.' Thranduil stood up and slowly started to walk up to Kili. 'I find it neccesary of you to tell me about the reason why you came to my Realm –' he stopped and slightly tilted his head to the side 'with a company.'

'First of, let me thank you for your hospitality' Kili gave a small bow.

'Oh, please.' Thranduil's hand showed Kili the direction they were to walk to 'Let's leave all the officials for Thorin Oakenshield when he comes to me. You and I have a different history that, I believe, does mean we will help each other out without a blink of an eye.' King smiled at Kili but he's eyes remained cold.

'I am not sure what you will hear from him but I can't be sure it will be a thank you…' whoops, shit. Kili knew he should have bitten his tongue, but, he recognised, that will take him longer than a few days.

At that statement, Thranduil looked over at Kili with a little bit warmer eyes and even managed to smile with one corner of his lips.

'You still hold the grudge. I see. That makes me even more eager to know the reason for your visit. I suspect that may involve one mountain…'

Kili sighed. What exactly am I supposed to tell him?

'By your reaction I can tell, I am not wrong.' They stepped into one of the King's private rooms, where they coludn't be heard, for a powerful elven magic was blocking everything. The chamber was very light, in one of its corners stood a vase in which, as far as Kili knew, was a mixture that didn't allow you to tell lies. That worried him.

Thranduil must have seen his eyes wander to it, for he reasurred him.

'I do not intend to have you drink it. I trust you will be honest with me. Now, let's go to the part, where you tell me about your destination. And your motives. As far as I'm concerned, you do not hold your family too dear, so why risk?' he turned to face Kili fully.

'We are going to Erebor, that is correct.' Thranduil scoffed lightly but allowed the dwarf to continue 'I am with them… Because…' he paused. Why am I with them? To rebound? Reunite with my so – called family? Should I take that big of a risk?

'I see.' Thranduil touched ligtly Kili's shoulder with his cold hands. 'If you do not have a good reason, why do it? Have you given it a thought? Or maybe you are too blind to see what is the exact reason?' he lowered himself, their faces were now just inches apart.

'I, I wonder…' Kili tried to look away from stone - cold eyes which bored into his own.

'He told you, didn't He?' Thranduil still hasn't backed out and kept on pushing Kili to his control limits.

'For fuck's sake!' Kili took a step aside and run his hand through his hair.

'Do not be like that.' Thranduil smiled viciously.' You may have proven yourself back in the day but that doesn't mean I trust you fully. Besides, to have a reckless dwarf like yourself bear such a power…' he shook his head.' You're just too easy to break, anger.'

'You know I didn't ask for it!' Kili felt panic rise in him again. No, fucking no! Not now, stop. Breathe in, breathe out. Control goddamnit.

'I know I wanted it. Yet, He chose you.' Thranduil grimaced. He raised his hand and Kili felt as if no air was being inhaled into his lungs.

'Wha – what r' you doin'' he gasped.

'You should stay with us. I know how to handle your power. You are just wandering in the dark, so, let me help you.'

'Fuuc you –' Kili felt his lungs were burning without air but he couldn't give up. I won't be his puppet. NEVER!

'You are so stubborn. Like every dwarf.' Thranduil released him. Kili coughed as blissful air entered his lungs again. He looked at the King, eyes filled with shock and burning rage.

'I may be stubborn –' he breathed '- but I still am the owner of the Protector and you can't do anything, ANYTHING, about it! You were willing to sacrifise your own son for it! Even if you got it, it won't stay with such person!'

'As far as I know, you also sacrifised somebody for it.' Tharanduil smiled maliciously.

'It was different!' Kili desperately screamed. 'I didn't have a choice! She wasn't my fucking daughter!' Thranduil laughed humourlessly.

…8 YEARS AGO…

It was dark. It was cold. His friends were taken by Orcs, so he was all alone in the cell. Suddenly, he heard his name.

'Kili. We decided to have some fun today. Why not come with us, ey?' Mourdres growled at him, definetely satisfied with their plans for Kili.

'I'm eager to try' Kili smiled bitterly and let the Orcs lead him to wherever they wanted to take him. When they missed all the doors to torture rooms, he felt more uneasy, stressed even. What good can it mean to him, if he was to be a part of a new 'fun game'? Well, no good at all, obviously.

He was lead through a recess and into some kind of arena. He looked around and noticed Orcs standing all around the place. They were screaming and laughing, pointing their filthy fingers in Kili's direction. Then, they heard a smash and there she stood. A human girl, approximetely 14 years old. She was very skinny, dirty and looked extremely scared. Her light blue eyes reminded him of his brother's and so did her blonde hair, which looked almost gray because of the dried mud in them.

'Now, let the fun begin!' Balgorg shouted and other Orcs replied with disgusting cheer.

'You will be given one knife. And only one of you can leave the cage alive. I think we understand each other.' The Orc smiled at them, showing his sharp teeth. 'We shall feast today! We will see who will be our dessert.'

A kinfe was dropped in the center of the cage. Kili eyed it but quickly turned his gaze back to the girl, wondering what is she going to do. She was still looking around, shaking. When their eyes met, Kili felt weird, as if those weren't the eyes of a gir who stood in there anymore.

Sudddenly, she ran to the knife, so Kili rapidly decided to do the same. His instincts pushed him forward but his mind was telling him to let the girl grab the weapon. A the same time, he couldn't forget her eyes from a while.

'You shall die' he heard her whisper into his ear. How the fuck did she get there, just moments ago she was still running toward the knife and now she was trying to put it in Kili's side. He managed to avoid the blow but the girl was altready jumping onto him while brandishing the knife around.

He felt the need to stop her, he felt desperate to live.

'Despite you being a just little girl…' he whispered.

That's when he felt enormous pain in his thigh. She managed to stab him and he wasn't able to tell when it happened. She seemed to be moving at the speed of light, like a monster or a demon.

'But you're just a girl, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ABLE TO MOVE LIKE THAT?!' he exclaimed. As the blood was dripping from his wound he finally realised, in order to survive he has to kill her. He wasn't able to give his life away just now. Not fucking now. Not when they were about to finalize the escape plan. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel and was willing to do anything to reach it. Anything.

With that thought he heard a voice in his head. It was faint, but he felt as if it was telling him how to move, away from where the girl will strike, how to take the knife away from her.

From that moment, the whole fight was a blur to him. When he finally came back to his senses, he was knelling on the girl and..

'Fuck! Shit! What the –'

'We have a winner!' growled Mourdres.

'You – I -, what… How… I didn't do that…'

Yes, you did. Well done, you shall be the heir.

'What?! What did you say, an heir?!' Kili was scuffling in the Orcs grip.

'He's gone mad, y'all!' shouted Balgrog. It was met with a loud burst of laugh as the Orcs were cheering for, what he managed to catch from their words, an extremely wild fight.

He was thrown into his cage where his friends were alredy sitting. He was so flabbergasted that his friends words didn't reach him for a while. When he managed to snap out of this trance, he looked at their concerned faces.

'Kili, where were you? What's happened?' asked franticly Bongin.

'They –' Kili paused. He can't tell them. Somehow he felt like if he did, he will lose. He didn't understand that, he didn't know what or how he would lose, he just knew it was about something valuable. ' They have found a new way of torturing me. No biggie.' Were the only things he's said.

Since that day, he hasn't told anybody about what really happened. Not until Thranduil' truth serum's helped him spill the truth. The truth about that kill and what it meant.

…NOW…

'You are right. She was just an innocent girl.' The King waved his hand 'I am sorry. Let's forget about that conversation and not leave any distaste between us.' He started to walk towards the door.

'Right. But mark my words. The next time your son will be in grave danger, I will save him only to tell him the truth about his rotten father.' Kili spat.

'Good luck with that, my friend.' He waved his hand at Kili and walked out.

Kili stood there alone for a moment until he realized he was to meet with his kins. He didn't feel like it after Thranduil but a promise is a promise.

Kili was so dazed he didn' notice the same shadow, which he saw in his room earlier that day, lurking behind him. It's eyes walked Kili out of the room.

'Will he help me?' asked the shadow the air in front of him and disappeared.

…..

Kili made his way straight to his brother's room, he wasn't sure whether he was already late or will he come too early, he lost track of time.

'Come in!' replied Fili to the knock on his door. 'Ah, Kili, you're just in time.'

Kili looked at his brother with tired eyes. I really am not in the right mindset for it. He sat on a chair and rested his head in his palm, side – loooking at Fili.

'It may ba a stupid question, but are you okay?' asked Fili.

'Sure, as always.'

'Good, because we really have a lot to talk about.' He straightened himself at the sound of Thorin's voice. He didn't even notice his uncle sitting on the other side of the table. Shit, I need to pull myself together.