Learning for Life

Hogwarts – Snape's Quarters – October 1st 1994 (Piotr's POV)

Using some of the breathing technics he had learned from his uncle years ago, Piotr tried to get back his equilibrium. The last two hours had been more strenuous than anything since his training in the Forbidden Forest last winter. Thinking about the forest he could only call himself stupid not to be more careful. Stomping into Snape's quarters with enough hints on his clothes and shoes about his today's visit to the forest to make a dumbass like Filch wary not to speak about someone as observant like the potions' professor had certainly not been his finest hour of thoughtfulness.

To name Firenze as his companion and guardian against any dangers had been a risk but it had turned out all right. Not only did Snape know the Centaur but obviously he disliked him enough not to extend the conversation about him and Piotr's reasons to visit him. Piotr was okay with that, even with him inwardly smiling as he thought about Snape's reaction if he knew where Firenze had taken him as a kind of birthday present … or more specifically to whom.

"You're abilities in Occlumency are better than expected. Not good but they are … workable. But I would like to hear you explain to me your strengths and weaknesses in that field."

Snape narrowed his eyes, his body slightly tensioning, as he saw Piotr turning away from the basket he had brought into his room and offering him a large cup with some hot fluid in it.

"It is only mediocre poisonous, nothing more than you would expect from a student." Piotr's voice was matter-of-factly enough to nearly hide the irony, but only nearly.

"Chocolate," Snape asked?

"Yes, with some spices in it for a more balanced body temperature. According to your medical file you have issues about it and you can certainly use the calories with your eating or better non-eating habits."

"You know that you aren't my healer yet? It was only an arrangement 'in case if'. And why did she allow you to look into my medical file?" His voice was more annoyed than angry, something Piotr took as a good sign. That Poppy allowed him to take a look into Snape's file had only been logical but he still struggled with his nightmares about some of the contents.

"Because you're wrong, but that's excusable in this case. You only made me promise not to tell anybody about my treatments of you, the silence clausula said nothing about the arrangement per se. So I told Poppy about it." Snape snarled slightly angrily but stayed silent apart from that. "She wasn't happy but allowed me to go on. From now on – as long as I'm able to handle it – I'm your assigned healer. And as believing into prevention as I am, I plan to look after your physical welfare in the future."

"Wonderful," Snape snarled. "At least you'll leave my mind in peace. It wonders me that you don't think about messing with that too."

Piotr smiled slightly: "Oh, don't wonder … I did think about it, but in the moment I like my life and don't want it to end too soon or bloody."

Snape answered with that husky laughter Piotr liked so much and in the eyes of his Professor even was a glint of amusement. "You should know by now that I'm too old to change. Certainly you know the proverb about old dogs?"

"I do … even if I wouldn't compare you to an old dog. There are other animals much more fitting. And old … yes, I understand, 34 is quite ancient … a wonder that you're still struggling and kicking." The boy sniggered feeling a wave of cockiness in his stomach.

Snape growled back: "Impertinent as you are it would be a wonder if you live to get half that old."

All at once Piotr got very serious, all signs of relaxation leaving him. "With the delegation of Durmstrang incoming it is not impossible that your precognition comes true."

For some minutes both stared at each other, neither willing to look away, neither willing to ask a question. Piotr could see Snape's mind working, guessed his wish to ask about Durmstrang. Had Dumbledore told him about their conversation two weeks ago? It was unlikely but not impossible. With a small smile Piotr changed the subject again:

"My greatest strength in Occlumency would be that I'm quite advanced in the technics not only to do a simple block but also to hide thoughts and memories. My snowy landscape is well developed and at least towards less developed Legiliments … or someone who is surprised to learn about my abilities …" Piotr shortly smiled at he thought about Dumbledore "my raven flock is an unwelcome surprise for an intruder."

Snape seemed to agree. At least he didn't comment most of what Piotr had said. "You realize that your little trick won't work again on the Headmaster?" Shortly the emotions must have been visible on Piotr's face because Snape continued: "He asked me if I ever have spoken with you about Occlumency. Truthfully I could deny it … back then."

Slowly Piotr nodded, suppressing any smile. "My weakness … I think that's part of my character: my temper is quite strong and often gets in the way with my mind. I'm used to look out for dangers every time even from unexpected sources but I'm not willing to suppress my emotions as a good Occlumens would do. I'm just not willing to change that much. Certainly I could prolong my life that way but it wouldn't be worth to live anymore."

"That's a stupid attitude but certainly not surprising," they shared a dark grin before Snape continued. "So we have to work around this … error. But tell me: you said you planned to teach others about Occlumency. Whom do you have in mind?"

"I had two things in mind. As you know Occlumency is not only about hiding thoughts. Instead it is basically a kind of stance of the mind. Meditation and composure are two basic parts of it and those are something Neville Longbottom could really use. I'm convinced that he could be a great wizard in his field of expertise if he learns to control himself. His knowledge about potions is not nearly as bad as it seems. He is only forgetting all of it if you're staring at him. I want to teach him the basics only, to teach him a better grade of self-confidence and equilibrium, not the higher technics."

"I think this to be a waste of time but he's your friend. If you're willing to even risk your life for him, perhaps he's worth your time too." It hadn't been the first reference to his quarrels with Moody. Snape hadn't shared his opinion about Neville so far, but obviously he liked the idea of grating on Moody's nerves.

Piotr slightly nodded with a small smile again: "Thank you. Apart from him …" Piotr stumbled for words. Should he tell him? Should he tell Snape that he planned to teach them his hereditary spell next year and wanted to prepare them? So far only Minerva knew about it and only because she had to. And certainly Dumbledore knew too, something he would have liked not to be true. Piotr stared intensely at Snape, not really seeing him, lost in his thoughts and surprisingly not interrupted by his teacher. At last he recovered himself again and continued after a protracted coughing:

"I want to gather a small group of students and teach them … several spells and abilities. Believing in impartiality towards this stupid idea of house sorting" lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice how Snape distorted the corner of his mouth for a second "and planned to choose one student from each house."

"Let me guess: Miss Abbott and Miss Granger would be two of them."

Piotr nodded: "They are. Miss Granger should be self-explaining but the same time she is the shakiest candidate because of her friendship with Weasel and Potter." This time he didn't miss the distortion and after some seconds of confusion he realized that he had unknowingly used Draco's nickname for Ron. Instead of blushing he simply shrugged and continued:

"Hannah … I have to admit it is because she is Hufflepuff, my friend and there aren't any special candidates aside from Cedric who is simply too old."

"That leaves Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Miss Chang would be a good choice, I have to admit. She is intelligent and a real Ravenclaw regarding her wish to learn."

Piotr shook his head. "Fundamentally you're right but until now I don't know her very well and can't judge her character exactly enough to say if it would be worth a try. I plan to spend a great amount of time on this small group in the next two years and I don't want to squander this. Instead of Miss Chang I choose Miss Lovegood."

For a minute Snape was choking so hard that his eyes started to water: "Looney Lovegood, really?"

To Snape's surprise Piotr's face was a stony expression of anger now: "Don't call her that. It is impolite, inappropriate and shows a lack of attentiveness I would expect from the Weasel but certainly not from you."

Snape draw his breathe deeply a few times, his eyes narrowed to slits, but then he curtly nodded.

"Luna is one of the most intelligent students and from my four choices the one to whom Occlumency and Legilimency will come the most naturally." Snape opened his mouth to make a cynical comment but to Piotr's surprise a single shake of his head was enough to stop him.

"This leaves us with Slytherin … and Pansy."

Snape blinked … twice … then his face relaxed again: "Because she is the girlfriend of Draco?"

"Friend, not girlfriend," Snape's eyes narrowed in surprise "yellow is the color, not red." After some moments of pondering he slowly nodded: "The rose."

"Yes," Piotr grinned. "But that isn't the reason. Certainly there are others in your house which are brighter and more in control of their emotions. But Pansy has quite a character. She is nearly as stubborn as Hermione … or you." Snape allowed a snigger to escape his throat. "And … I have hope for her. I don't want to teach someone without hope."

The weird explanation caused Snape to stay silent for a long time, his dark eyes trying to pierce the brown ones of Piotr. The boy expected him to comment the decision or the explanation in any way but got disappointed.

"You should go now. We'll continue next week."

Piotr nodded and started to pack his belongings. Before he finally left he turned a last time towards Snape who already had started to read in some book, oblivious to his departing guest. After a little cough Piotr asked with a small voice:

"Why are you helping me, Sir? Certainly my help isn't this valuable and obviously you don't really like to teach in spite of being very good at it. No, this isn't flattery, simply an evaluation of the marks in Hogwarts in comparison to other schools."

Snape stared at him with a blank face. "You have many faults, Mr. Kamenew, impertinence being the most obvious one, your temper following shortly behind, but flattery I don't count among them." Piotr waited in silence, disregarding the banter so far and hoping for an explanation. He had been serious: while he perhaps may be of use in the long run, now … today … Snape couldn't hope to get something back worthwhile his time and exertion.

After another sigh Snape continued: "with your inclination to ask many, silly and awkward questions it is no wonder why Miss know-it-all-Granger is your friend."

Piotr's small growl only caused Snape to smile almost happily. "And your loyalty to your friends is almost refreshing."

"I don't think that loyalty to friends is an unknown concept for you, Professor," Piotr bite back.

"Another piece of information from my medical file," Snape asked?

"No, simple observation," Piotr stated. "But you wanted to answer my question."

"Did I," Snape's head tilted to the side, his eyes sparkling in amusement, but he stayed silent. After a while Piotr lost his hope to get an answer and with a farewell-nod departed for the door.

"The letter from Lupin." The words brought Piotr to a shocked stop. "I never expected him to apologize. I'm not sure if I can believe his words or if I will ever be able to forgive him. But I appreciate the idea." Piotr started to answer but Snape interrupted him, his voice like a whip: "But I order you to never again meddle with my personal affairs in this way."

Without looking in Snape's eyes Piotr asked him: "the world won't stop turning around for you should the moment come I … forgot that order, won't it?"

Snape sniggered without real humor in his voice: "perhaps the world will stop turning around for you but it won't be a brain-shattering surprise for me. And now: get out."

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A/N:

This got longer than expected. The mentioned letter is something I wrote in "Russian Claws", it is a letter Lupin wrote at request of Piotr, apologizing for the events around Snape, Sirius and Lupin 20 years ago.

In the next chapter there will be more about Ginny at last.