Chapter 10

72 Hours Until the Wedding

It had been roughly two weeks since Killian told Emma he wouldn't be playing at the wedding. She had half expected him to call her the next day or the day after that and explain himself. To say never mind and that he'd still play the wedding. But he never did call.

Instead she was forced to find a DJ at double the usual cost because it was so close to the wedding date.

It was a nightmare trying to get someone to play at such short notice. She'd had to have a meeting with the guy and sure he was fine. She could now play whatever she wanted and that was fine too. Walsh was happy. But he also didn't understand what happened to the band. Emma didn't know what to tell him, as she didn't quite know herself. (At least that's what she told herself.)

Tinkerbelle had also quit the shop so Walsh couldn't even ask her.

It just seemed as though everything was happening all at once. Walsh's family had almost all arrived and she'd met all of his brothers and their wives and their kids. The aunts and uncles and their kids were flying in too. It was so strange to have to meet so many new people all at once. But the pair she was most anxious to meet, Walsh's parents, wouldn't be arriving until the day of the ceremony. They'd be arriving from Vancouver late the night before so they wouldn't make it to the rehearsal dinner.

Even though the wedding was actually quite small by most wedding standards it still somehow felt huge and enormously out of her control. She felt as though she was being pulled in every direction and constantly having to remind herself to take everything one day at a time. Otherwise it felt like a great tornado straight out of Kansas coming to swallow her up. Some days it definitely felt like more of a nightmare than a dream come true.

"We should just fly to Atlantic City and elope." Emma had said one night that week. "No more planning, no more nonsense. We could just go and be done with it." She was only half joking but Walsh looked extremely alarmed at her words.

"We can't do that. We've already put so much money into this."

"We actually haven't paid most the vendors. So it wouldn't be that much of a loss." She grinned mischievously at him.

"But you were the one who said you wanted all this. We can't back out now. Plus my parents will be here soon and they really want to meet you and see everything."

"Alright, we'll get married at the beautiful vineyard and have the lovely ceremony. Since you're forcing me." She laughed when he finally realized she hadn't really meant any of it.

"You're just trying to make me crazy aren't you?" He laughed and pulled her into an embrace.

"There's just so much to do!"

That has been earlier in the week. Now it was roughly 72 hours before the big day and she still had to get a manicure and pedicure with Ruby and Mary Margaret. But that was hopefully going to be the stress-free part of the week.

Although every time she spoke with Ruby that week the woman seemed even more on edge than Emma was. Maybe a mani-pedi would do them all good.

One week ago

"Ruby, love, just listen. Please?" Killian flashed his puppy dog eyes at his dear friend knowing she couldn't resist his charm as she rolled her eyes and took a seat.

He'd invited her to The Jolly Roger under the guise of a tour before the grand opening. However, he'd really intended to implant the information he knew about Walsh and Emma upon Ruby, freeing him of the burden of having to tell Emma himself.

After the misfire at OZ it was clear to Killian he was not the one Emma wanted. Granted it was quite an unforgiving circumstance, it was still a rather plain confession, just short saying the words themselves to Emma.

But even if Emma didn't want to be with Killian she still deserved to know the lot of it. Not just the affair, but the real reason Walsh wanted to marry her. Tinkerbelle had done her research and it too much not to tell Emma.

"I've heard this before Killian – Walsh is lying scum who is cheating on her. But you said it yourself, Zelena is a business partner. There's no real evidence that he's cheating on Emma with her. Especially since Emma apparently knows the woman."

"First of all, the proof is that the man as good as told me he's unattached to Emma when we went on that sodding double date." Ruby rolled her eyes again.

"I should think that being her best friend you'd be more concerned about this."

"Killian, I'm concerned about Emma because she's wanted this her entire life. She needs this. And finding out Walsh is anything less than a Disney Prince would shatter her."

"You do remember Hans? The Disney Prince? He wasn't exactly honest or gentlemanly was he?" Killian silently chided himself for revealing his knowledge of Disney Princes, though it didn't seem to phase Ruby.

"That's not the point."

"Right, the point is even if Walsh isn't cheating on Emma (which I still believe he is), he is still not being honest with her and the truth would be more than devastating." Killian watched Ruby take a deep breath and close her eyes.

He'd told her everything already. The entire scheme with Tinkerbelle, the performance at Oz, the texts Tinkerbelle had sent, and what had followed. He didn't know why Ruby was fighting him so hard on this. She was the closest thing Emma had to family. Maybe she just didn't want to break her best friend's heart.

"Fine," Ruby's eyes opened as she exhaled, "I believe you."

"And you'll tell her?"

"I'll tell her everything." Shaking her head, Killian quickly pulled out two glasses from under the bar and his personal bottle of rum and poured them both a drink. Ruby threw hers back like a shot. "I wonder though, for someone so invested in this – you even backed out of the wedding – why didn't you just tell her yourself?"

"I tried. I practically spelled it all out – my feelings, the affair – it just sort of backfired. And truthfully, I didn't want to be the man who broke up their marriage. I wanted her to choose me. And after the other night I thought she'd made her choice." He slammed back his own drink and poured them both another. "And then Tink told me what Walsh was really up to and I couldn't give up."

Ruby nodded as she drank her rum a little more slowly this time.

Killian hung his head, a little less defeated.

"Emma is a lucky woman." Ruby sighed, still sipping the drink.

"Lucky? Not to the term I'd use."

"Lucky to have a man like you who loves her." Killian raised his head at that, eyeing a smirking Ruby. "I can't believe I'm going to do this."

Ruby, Emma, and Mary Margaret all sat in a row next to each other with their feet soaking in their individual pools of hot water.

Emma loved pedicures. She should think about getting them more often. They were so relaxing… her head rested on the chair and her eye lids drooped closed. For the first time in at least two weeks her head wasn't spinning with wedding stress.

"You know it's perfectly fine to get cold feet."

"I think my feet are quite warm right now actually." Emma spoke without opening her eyes. She'd been absentmindedly twisting her engagement ring around her finger when she heard Ruby over the woman scrubbing her feet.

"You know what I mean." Ruby's eyebrows arched.

"She's right Emma, it happens to a lot of brides before the big day. And given everything you've been through…" Mary Margaret chimed in.

"Oh no, not you too! Listen, you guys, its fine. It's more than fine. I'm getting married. I never thought this day would come." Emma smiled at her friends.

"Just remember we will always support you. So even if you do back out, we'll be there for you."

"While I appreciate the support, I wonder where this is all coming from?" Emma inquired, shifting in her chair.

"We're just looking out for you. We love you, Emma." Ruby smile was uneasy like she was sitting on something uncomfortable.

"And I love you both. Now can we please talk about something else? You guys are all packed and ready for tomorrow?" They were renting a car and driving up to the vineyard that way the three of them could bring all of the decorations and the dresses without worry about the train.

"Yes we're all set. The car is already packed and we're ready to leave tomorrow morning." MM assured Emma.

"Right, so then I will come over later tonight so we can wake up super early and drive up." She went over the plan again. "And then David and Victor will come up with Granny and LeRoy on the train?"

"Yep, they're all set!"

Emma and Walsh had both agreed on not doing the typical cliché bachelor and bachelorette parties with the strippers or the clubs or anything like that. But that night she'd spend it with Mary Margaret and Ruby while Walsh was with his brothers and his best man. Emma didn't even want to know what they were doing.

The drive the next morning to the Vineyard wasn't very long. Definitely shorter than the train ride with Killian, which had been close to three hours, even if it had gone by fast. She shook off the memory as they pulled into the parking lot of the Inn.

Emma took a deep breath before opening the car door. The beautiful old fashioned building loomed in front of her and she could feel the weight of it all trickling down her back and resting on her shoulders.

"You alright, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked, noticing the immediate change in Emma's mood.

They'd spent the drive listening to 80's classics with the windows down. The air was cool and they'd been so carefree singing at the top of their lungs like teenagers. It was so refreshing to let go of all of her burdens. Now she welcomed them back.

"I'm good." She answered, knowing it wasn't true.

The majority of the wedding guests would arrive the day of but the few that were coming to the rehearsal dinner had gathered early for the rehearsal ceremony. Most of Emma's guests were the ones to arrive early – Ruby, Mary Margaret and David of course. But there was also Victor, Ruby's boyfriend; Granny and LeRoy who'd came in on the train that afternoon as planned.

Similarly Walsh's brothers had all arrived sans wives and children for whatever night before wedding festivities they'd planned. All in all the rehearsals would be small and preferably short and the wedding itself would be only a bit bigger.

Resisting the urge to scratch her arms (for fear of bringing on anxious hives) and instead wiping her sweaty palms on her denim jacket, Emma stood at the end of the aisle. She wore a white cotton dress that came just above her knees with her favorite brown riding boots. Hair plated down her shoulder, paper bouquet in one hand and David in the other, she stared down the daunting pathway of the would be wedding aisle.

"You ready?" David asked in a low voice only she could hear.

Without a word Emma took a deep breath and with the exhale she nodded her answer.

The sun hung low in the sky and its fading existence splashed waves of violets and magentas along the horizon. The air was crisp with a hint of a chill nipping at her exposed legs as she began the long walk down the aisle.

The following day there wouldn't be many more people there and Emma could almost envision it was happening now as she walked. The only thing missing was the big white dress and the wedding march. The thought spiked an anxiety so forceful that she physically stopped.

Everything up until this point seemed like it had been happening in a fog. From the moment she said yes to Walsh's proposal she'd been in a blur of plans and comprises and lies and omissions. Now as she stood at the beginning of the sparsely decorated walkway of her future wedding aisle she saw things in bits of clarity.

She saw David, who had been walking beside her with his arm through hers, supporting her; she saw Mary Margaret at the Alter next to Ruby. All three of them watched her soundlessly, waiting on her cues. She gave none.

And there Walsh stood, more clearly than she'd ever seen him. At first he smiled, slightly encouraging her, although it did not reach his eyes. But as she continued to stand immobilized his expression grew more annoyed. His best man and his brothers all stood beside him, all sharing the same look of boredom and confusion.

Emma saw them all. She saw the sweat glistening on his forehead and the way he wiped his palms on his pants. Walsh was becoming anxious and impatient; she could feel it emanating from him as he gave no more looks of encouragement.

Emma turned to the man standing directly in front of her. A man she'd given hardly any attention to their entire engagement: the man marrying them. It wasn't a religious ceremony; they'd agreed it wouldn't be a priest or minister of any sort. But this man, Emma watched him in his casual college professor outfit and balding red hair; she didn't even know this man. He'd been a friend of a friend and now all he felt like was a stranger.

Everything just felt completely wrong. It felt like watching a movie of someone else's life play out before her.

Impending tears threatened her vision. Blinking several times, willing them away, she turned back to face Walsh. But she could no longer see Walsh at all.

Instead her mind had conjured another image. The image of a man with dark hair, almost black, standing in Walsh's place; a man with exposed chest hair in white button down shirt and the biggest grin she'd ever seen. She'd seen that grin before and she knew it was always sincere when he looked upon her.

Suddenly, feeling anxious and excited, the new image propelled Emma forward as she began to move towards the Alter. For a few brief moments, in her mind, she was walking towards a very different future.

"I've known Emma for a few years now and from the moment I met her I knew she was special." David stood at his table as he engaged the room. "I have loved her like a sister, a sister I will always protect fiercely. She is my friend and she is my family. But now it's time for her to welcome a new kind of family into her life and I couldn't be more proud of her to have come so far in her life to be able to accept this kind of love. I'm so excited and I can't wait for you both to start the next chapter of your lives together. To the happy couple!" David raised his glass and the room cheered as they all drank to the toast.

Emma held out her own glass and silently cheersed David from a table away.

The rehearsal dinner had been well under way but Emma felt a distant pulling in the back of her mind since the start of the evening's events. The constant shuffle of people coming up to she and Walsh's table made it even more impossible to get a grasp on her thoughts. The room was spinning with chatter and commotion.

She hardly even noticed the grandeur of the quaint ball room in which their small party dined. Walsh and Emma sat at their own table while their separate family members sat across from each other in opposing tables. Ruby watched her like a hawk from across the small space. Her gaze shifted constantly between wanting to say something and looking as if she might be sick.

Emma was too busy wondering if she could slip out and any one would notice to call Ruby on her plight. But it was too close, Ruby watched her too close, too nervously.

When the night finally neared its end the party began to disperse. Walsh pulled Emma into the hallway to say goodnight.

"Everything's going to change for us tomorrow." He crooned, tucking a wayward hair behind Emma's ear. "Husband and wife, finally."

"I know, I – I can't believe it's happening." Emma nodded. He smiled and for a moment she searched his gaze for sincerity, for something indicating that she was wrong about all of it. But instead he kissed her, kissed her hard, like he hadn't done in ages. Sliding his palms up her neck, hugging her face, she eased into him.

He whispered goodnight and was gone before she opened her eyes. Left momentarily speechless in the empty hallway it only took Emma a moment to realize she was completely alone for the first time she'd arrived. Quickly brought back to reality after the surprising kiss she took the opportunity to slip out into the night to finally have a moment alone with her thoughts.

Wandering through the garden Emma found her way onto a path through the vineyard, a path lined with budding red grapes.

The night was heavy and the October weather was not as kind after sunset. Emma wished she'd brought a warmer jacket. Instead she hugged her arms around her denim-clad shoulders as she wandered the path.

Finally she could breathe. Away from prying eyes and too many questions she couldn't answer, Emma could breathe.

It felt like the first breath she'd taken since the day began. Or maybe since the day before. Or the week before. In fact she couldn't remember the last time she didn't feel tethered down, always grasping for air.

She'd grown so used to the weight of it all – the wedding, the new family, and all the things she'd told herself she wanted – she could feel it pressing on her chest for months.

Walsh was trying, sometimes he seemed like this is all he could ever want and other times it felt like she was the furthest thing from his mind. Even with their kiss lingering on her lips her mind still reached for another imagine. The image conjured during her rehearsal walk down the aisle – the image of Killian Jones standing before her waiting to marry her. It sent a chill down her spine and formed a knot in her throat.

For so long she'd suppressed even the slightest idea of having any real feelings for the man – it felt so terrible to think it freely, even in her own mind. But now, staring down the barrel of a gun, her wedding day, she was facing all truths she'd pushed away for months.

The image of marrying Killian instead of Walsh consumed her as she walked under the moonlight, trailing her fingertips along the green vines.

She envisioned a life they could have together. A life of friendship and partnership, live music, late nights, walks in the park; a life of independence and yet cohesiveness; a life that they both wanted, melted together. The same vision of her in a wedding dress walking towards him, another of a child with bright blue eyes running towards them, all things she should want with Walsh.

So easily the visions came to her as a life with Killian, but somehow they turned to nothingness with Walsh. A great gaping hole in her life where happiness should be. Maybe it was cold feet but if it was she'd been feeling it since the day she'd said yes.

Walsh was never going to change and their life they'd built with each other now was never going to change. She'd never asked him to change it for her. She'd never expected it to change but somehow it felt like it just didn't fit anymore. Not emotionally, not even physically.

She'd basically cut him off physically. Not on purpose but then it became a thing – she'd even told him that they should still hold off and now just wait for the honeymoon. It was a twisted lie, a simple way to cover up the fact that she couldn't even bring herself to make love to the man she was betrothed to.

Emma had found a spot under a great oak tree in a grassy knoll away from the path of the grapes. The only light from the moon shone through the leaves as she sat at the base of it.

For months she denied not only her feelings about Killian but her true feelings about Walsh. She'd wanted so badly to feel loved, to feel safe and accepted, that she'd ignored all of her other natural instincts. And now the realization was crashing down around her.

Tomorrow she was supposed to get married. How could she possibly do that?

She wasn't in love with Walsh. She wanted the wedding and the fantasy life and Walsh was offering all of those things to her. But she didn't want them with him.

Emma pulled out her phone to check the time. It was nearly midnight and she had several alarmed texts from Ruby. As she read through them she'd found her way to a picture Ruby had sent her months ago. It was the picture from her first night at the Rabbit Hole, the night she'd spent drunkenly with Ruby and Killian.

Killian's arm was wrapped around her and his eyes were bright and alive as he eyed her in the phone.

She knew with a pang in her gut that she couldn't marry Walsh. She couldn't marry Walsh because she didn't love him. Maybe she never did.

She also happened to be in love with someone else.