Abyssal Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: You know what? I have a nice squishy chair that's ten times cooler than Dist's, but I still don't own Tales of the Abyss. One day…

Chapter Ten: In Which Insanity Ensues.

"This is boring," Aja announced as Dakota entered for his interview.

"Yeah," Chloe agreed, walking around on the deck of the Tartarus.

"Something happen," Nicole demanded.

Then- something happened. Amazing! A large cloud of flying things approached, as well as a marvelously fruity flying chair that would be painfully familiar to Dakota had he not been in the middle of a pwn battle with Jade at the time.

"Holy shit! It's the fugly guy!" Aja exclaimed as they got closer, pointing to our lovely pal Largo the Black Lion, who was riding one of the flying things. (What the hell are those anyway? Chimeras? Hippogriffs? Ligers? One eyed one horned flying purple people eaters?)

"And it's the gay guy!" Nicole added, pointing to Dist. "And some other random dude who looks like the Annoying Man Whore!" Asch twitched.

"I'm not an Annoying Man Whore!" Luke shouted.

"You know, they actually have names," Anise remarked, sweat dropping.

"… So?" Aja, Nicole and Chloe asked at once.

"We're under attack!" Guy announced, because someone had to say it.

"Those things look like flying monkeys…" Chloe remarked.

"What do you all want?" Luke demanded in typical 'I'm the good guy listen to me' fashion.

"I want my creations back!" Dist shouted back, surprisingly monologue free. (Largo said that if Dist began monologue-ing he'd get stuck on liger clean up duty)

"… Your… what?" Tear blinked.

"Yeah, usually they want Ion," Anise added.

"Well, we want him too-"

"YAOI!" Aja randomly screamed.

"Don't interrupt me!" Dist screeched, pointing at Aja.

"What do you mean creations?" Tear asked again, being one of the few sane people.

"Them!" Dist waved a gloved hand at our lovely protagonists.

"Oh. You can have them," Luke shrugged.

"LUKE!" Tear shot the replica a Look that brained him.

"Ow! What? They're annoying!" Luke defended himself.

Suddenly the weird things began spontaneously combusting as Chloe danced around and hummed the Wicked Witch of the West theme.

"Um hello… we're under attack…?" Guy asked.

"Asch! Go deal with the spontaneous combustion!" Largo announced. Asch grumbled.

"Fine," he said dully, jumping over by Chloe and drawing his sword. Chloe ignored him, continuing to dance. "Hello girl? I'm supposed to be fighting you,"

"Hi~" Chloe replied, grabbing Asch's arms and beginning to dance with him.

"What are you doing?" Asch demanded.

"Dancing," Chloe replied.

"…Why?" Asch demanded.

"Because-"

"Everyone's ignoring me!" Dist yelled angrily, doing a little dance in his chair.

"Mister Flower Man, do you have to go potty?" Sophie asked in a totally adorable voice. Dist turned a bright red.

"Shut up! I do not you brat!" he screeched.

"Uh he won't shut up," Aja muttered.

"Yeah… where's Jade when you need him?" Anise asked. Dist's head perked up (kinda like a dog's or a ferret's when you shake the treat bag)

"Jade?" he asked hopefully.

"… creepy," Aja announced.

"I thought you liked yaoi," Maddie pointed out. Aja blinked.

"Wait… that's a guy?" Aja asked.

"Yes. Dist's male," Anise confirmed.

"Barely," Luke muttered.

"I heard that you reject!" Dist howled.

"Suck it!" Nicole shouted. "I want a gun!"

"Where's Jade?" Luke wandered.

"He's in an enclosed room with Dakota. Alone." Nicole grinned creepily.

"…"

"…"

"…I'll go get him," Anise announced.

"Aren't we supposed to be fighting?" Guy asked.

Give up Guy…

Inuyoshie's After the Chapter Aneurism

Inu: *dies*

Luke: Finally! I can escape this madness!

Grimmjow: No, that's what I thought, and man… I was wrong.

Luke: Holy shit where did you come from?

Grimmjow: Las Noches, you stupid human man whore-

Luke: Not you too! Damn you!

Nikky: Yaay Grimmy! *huggles*

Grimmjow: Meh, you're not my woman anymore. You're some other guy's woman…

Luke: I wonder who…

Inu: I LIVE!

Luke: What?

Grimmjow: See?

Luke: How the hell did you do that?

Inu: Dude. The Fomicry Plantain cures all.

Jade: … should I be concerned?

Grimmjow: You weren't before?

Aja: Aaaany way: Next chapter is: In Which Dist Flirts.

Jade: *face palms* Why Inuyoshie, why?

Inu: Because I can! *insert evil cackling here*