Chapter Nine: Fade and Run
(A/N: I temporarily change the point of view-POV- in this chapter but it's finally done. Review. -NL)
That should've been the end for me. I should've died but I didn't. At least not then.
When I woke, I expected to see Leah towering over me, but when I finally came to and sat up, it was she who was lying down in agonizing pain. I saw a growing puddle of blood, blinding me so that I noticed nothing else.
"You're awake." She breathed, sitting up with more force than someone in her condition should have. She was in pain. She had to be and I didn't know why. It didn't make any sense. I looked down to see that my own wound was gone, almost like it had disappeared.
And I felt … strong.
"Leah, what's the matter? What did you do?"
She smiled at me genuinely before taking a deep breath. "I saw a way to save you and I did. I can be brave like you Jake."
"Why are you talking like a crazy person? Leah … you're not supposed to be the one dying. I am." I muttered with pure realization that I shouldn't be here now. I should've been dead.
"Well, you don't get to choose everything. I chose. I chose to give you your life, a life without me where you can finally be happy."
"Do you not remember the last few months Leah? I-I've never been happier in my entire life. And if you die, trying to be a martyr for me, I will never forgive myself or enjoy anything in this life. What did you do?" I repeated. If she did something, I could find a way to reverse it, I had to.
"I didn't want to spend my last moments talking about this but … I made a trade with Sam. I traded my essence, my werewolf strength over to him and he used the pack bonds to heal you. Before you ask … I'm human now. There's nothing short of a miracle that can save me."
"I'll get you your damn miracle." I mumbled, lifting her up carefully and heading towards the car.
"Don't waste your time with Sam. He's reeling over the extra power dose and he's not giving it back."
"Then Plan B…" I offered, running as fast as I could to a place where neither of us belonged.
When I arrived at the Cullen's house, I knew it could go one of two ways. They could all mangle us right then and there, or Carlise would be there, understand and agree to help me. I knew what I was asking. I knew that it was dangerous, that she wouldn't really be alive, but if there was any way to save both Leah and the baby, I had to try.
This was my best shot.
"I can't help you Jacob." Carlise declared once I explained the situation.
"You can turn her, can't you? Deliver the baby and then bring her back?"
"How is this any different from what we'd been allowing Bella to do?" In all of the rush and bustle, I'd completely forgotten about her.
"I'm sorry about-"
"I know." Carlise hushed me quickly. "If you do this, you know there's no turning back."
"She's dying. There's no other choice. This whole thing is my fault. If I lost Leah on top of everything … our baby…" I explained, out of breath and almost in tears. I was desperate and by now, Leah was mostly silent. Without the pack bond, I couldn't connect with her the same way. I didn't know what she was thinking, if she was hanging in there, or if she'd be dead in a few moments.
"T-There's a ceremony that we do. It induces the labor, makes the baby come out faster." I offered, starting it while Carlise simply nodded. In the back of my mind I was waiting for a sneak attack from Edward, some sort of last minute betrayal, but I saw none of this in Carlise's eyes. Only concern.
And looking at Leah's condition, I could see why. She'd been holding on for a while now.
"Child birth would kill her." I reasoned as Carlise nodded in agreement.
"We could C-section the baby out, but then she'd lose more blood."
"Do … whatever is going to save her. Just do it." I turned my back for a moment, and then looked back, relieved that Carlise was going to deliver the baby and then save Leah. I breathed a sigh of relief, unable to provide much in the way of help, but unable to stop looking and watching.
Come on baby. Hold on for me.
"It must kill to see the one you love on the brink of death." This was the first I'd heard the voice of Edward Cullen since our battle earlier.
"Edward. Don't-"
"Don't what? Kill her?" His face looked menacing now, more disturbed than I'd ever seen him. "It would be really … poetic if I did. You killed the woman that I love and I return the favor." He smirked, a distinct look taking over his eyes. "But then …" I calmed once I saw his eyes return to their normal, golden hue.
"I'm sorry." I whispered as he left the room silently.
Now, I could turn my attention back to Leah, who was being bitten by Carlise. There was no turning back now. He handed me a half-cleaned crying baby as I turned to focus and put all of my prayers out to Leah. Come back to me.
It had been 48 hours. No. Scratch that. It had been 49 hours and 35 minutes and Leah was still a vegetable. No life at all. Seth was the only one here with me and I could feel him getting antsy. I could see him cry when he thought I wasn't looking. I wouldn't lose hope she was going to come back.
After the third day, Carlise apologized and said it was too late. She'd died before the venom could revive her. I stood watching, didn't move until nearly one whole day later when I saw her eyebrow twitch. Then her lips curled and she sneezed. Leah was back.
Leah's POV
I don't know how to explain it, what it feels like when you come back from the dead, but when you know you shouldn't be here … it feels wrong. The first person I saw was Jacob and all I wanted to do was ask him what stupid thing had he done, why I was still here.
But I was acutely aware of my surroundings and the burning fire-like feeling in my throat explained why I was in the Cullen household.
"You didn't." Where the first words that I said to him. Jacob approached me and that's when I smelled something so strong that the stench almost knocked me out. "What is that?"
"It's me." He answered back. "You don't smell that hot yourself."
"Why the hell am I alive? Where's the baby?"
"Don't worry about all of that. I fixed it." Jacob was now holding me tightly, hugging me like I'd disappear at any given moment. I wanted to nuzzle my face into his neck, sink in but it would only bring me closer to the loud beating. His heart. The sound was loud, almost taunting me, promised that if I gave in, the burning sensation would die.
"Don't." I backed away before I could do it. I wanted it so badly. The blood. "You made me a bloodsucker."
"You and the baby were going to die. What else could I do?"
"It wasn't your choice to make!" I yelled, standing up now for the first time. "You really fucked it up this time Jacob. I-I can't live like this… hiding from the sun, drinking blood, not being able to stand being around you. The baby. And I'm going to have to watch as everyone else around me dies. But I'll live. I'll always be alive."
"And as long as I'm around you, as a bloodsucker, I'll be alive to. I won't age. You know that." He reasoned.
"I can't be with you knowing what you did … it changes everything. I can't even think about anything else besides b-"
"Perhaps she should go with us." Esme offered, appearing out of nowhere like bloodsuckers customarily like to do.
"I don't think-"
"She's right. They can teach me how to … be in this new life." I agreed, looking away from Jacob. I wondered if he could tell that I was just trying to push him away again. One of us had to stay back with the baby, and he was the less dangerous one. And I was so pissed at him that I didn't know what I'd do.
"No way."
"Back off JACOB." I bellowed as he grew quiet for a moment. It made me sad to think about us not being together, so I just stopped thinking about him all together. "I need to find some new clothes. Ones not soaked in my blood."
Rosalie begrudgingly let me wear some of her clothing. I could feel her eyeballs moving as I moved, watching me silently as I quickly undressed and changed into the first thing she offered, tan short shorts and a long-sleeved maroon shirt. At least my shoes weren't ruined. But even with them on, I didn't feel like me.
I felt like I'd lost almost all of myself since I'd become … this. It disgusted me.
"You'll get used to it." Rosalie offered.
"Back off Blondie." I shot back angrily. What did she know about me?
"The more you ignore the thirst, the stronger it gets until you can't control it and you kill whatever's in front of you … but I wouldn't try werewolf blood. It tastes like ass." She explained as I almost smiled with her.
"He's not going with me."
"A love like that … of course he is. And even if we leave without him, he'll find you or die trying."
"So you're saying I should go with him?"
"I'll say anything to get you not to go with us. Just because you're a vampire now doesn't mean you belong with our family." Blondie continued. So she was territorial. And I could be too. Anger. I had tons. "Here." She tossed a bag with other clothing over to me. "We're leaving soon, so … can't keep everything."
I nodded silently. Now that she'd mentioned it, leaving with the Cullens would be perfect only because they could help me understand this, fight it and I could come back. To my baby.
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long does it take until the burning stops? Until the hunger doesn't control you?"
"It never really stops. You always have to fight it, but as time goes by you get used to it. But Carlise can't teach everyone how to control it. Some can't. No matter how hard they try."
Jacob's POV
Leah came back into the room looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her, more alive even though only her … essence still lived. She was breathtaking and she didn't even know it, didn't understand the depth of my love for her, something which I didn't quite understand until it was too late.
The moment she approached me, I stood up awaiting her decision.
"Well?"
"Well nothing … it's over." Leah avoided looking at me, but I could see a hint of regret in her face. She quickly covered it though, hoisting a bag, which I didn't realize that she had been carrying, over her shoulder, her tan shorts molding with her body.
I would die a slow, painful death without her. If she never trusted me again, loved her freely, kissed me openly…
"Are we going or what?" Leah asked to an empty audience who was now hovering around Alice. She'd had a vision and there was going to be a massacre tonight … of all vampires in La Push and Forks. The Cullens were leaving now.
"At least let her say goodbye to her family."
"They'll kill me Jake. Sam hated me as a werewolf, but now I'm not one of them anymore and he wouldn't flinch at the thought of my death. He'd welcome it."
I swallowed a huge wade of nothing, my throat feeling dry, my mind out of ways to keep her here. It was over.
This was it.
I stayed until the minute that the Cullens started out and Leah trailed behind. I let her go as far as I could before calling her name, "Leah!"
She turned around instantly as though she had been waiting for me to finally speak up and say something more. I rushed to her, not having a plan yet, but I couldn't do this with everyone around so I took her inside. I just had to kiss her one more time.
The coldness of her lips was … unfamiliar, but the way she responded to me hadn't changed. I didn't know I had been looking for when I did it, but Leah couldn't hide it anymore than I could. She kissed me back forcefully, lacing her hands in mine, almost as if she wanted to push me away. I wouldn't let go.
I felt Leah's thighs so familiar on the sides of my body and I rested on her on the nearest table, removing that maroon top that looked so beautiful on her. I had to have her one more time. Leah didn't pull away as I undid each button until her only piece of clothing was a bra that I was dying to get off. We didn't have time. I knew that.
I pushed myself into Leah one last time, feeling every part of her, feeding on the intensity so much that I was going hard. Too hard. Her fingernails digging into my back only enticed me more. I kissed her wildly, moaning and not caring who heard or saw.
I felt her pleasure as both of us succumbed to what had brought us together in the first place. Sex. It was quick, but beautiful. Rough. Passionate. Everything that it should be.
Leah was breathing heavily even when it was over, watching me get dressed and making comments in her head, no doubt, trying to erase me from her mind, but she didn't say anything. She pressed her lips together, trying to hold it all in.
I was no longer privy to what she was thinking, but I knew 'Round Two' was on my mind. I wanted to dominate her again so badly that it hurt.
"Don't go." I begged desperately. Leah responded with a kiss filled with so much passion that it reinforced my idea of laying her out on the table, spreading her legs and—
"We've got to go." I heard one of the Cullens say outside.
Leah smirked at me, controlling me with her lips once again. This time, our kisses were too short, interrupted by the reality that was in front of us. If she was going to make it, be okay, Leah had to be with the Cullens and I wouldn't know where to find her.
"I love you." I whispered once more, my forehead pressed against hers, my hands reluctantly leaving the insides of her shirt to meet with her face. I seemed to think somehow, like most people, that saying those three words would change everything, that somehow they were magic. If I told her enough and believed it, everything would be okay.
That's not the way it happened.
But I did have one last thing that I could do, one thing that I had to do now that I knew it was real. It was true. Our love could survive anything.
Keeping her eyes locked with mine, she couldn't fight it. I couldn't fight it or control it, but I knew what it was when I felt it. An imprint.
The forces that bound us together were too strong and when it was over, I felt like a train had just hit me. It was that powerful, but I didn't feel any pain. Only euphoria.
"Are you coming or not?" It was Rosalie who yelled this out impatiently, walking into the house.
"He imprinted." Edward announced as the others just watched, or so I assumed. I hadn't taken my eyes off of Leah. I kissed her softly, our bodies so close that I could feel how much she wanted me again. I wanted her too.
"There's no way we'll ever be able to get rid of him now." Edward continued in the background.
"Why did you do that?" Leah finally spoke, her eyes looking more alive than I'd seen since her rebirth.
"It was both of us."
"One of us has to stay back with the baby. Protect it. I can't do it and you just made it harder."
"I think he'll be alright … He's with your mom right now and if we hurry-"
"We're running out of time." Alice intervened and I knew it was serious. We couldn't have this conversation now.
"We'll come back for him one day." I promised, releasing Leah so that I only held onto her with one hand.
"Him?" Her eyes were full of sorrow, and if she could, I knew she would've cried then and there. I had forgotten that she never met the baby. "Two years and then we'll come back." She agreed as I nodded, still holding on her hand so that she wouldn't change her mind and leave me. I was so afraid that Leah would wake up and see how perfect she was and how imperfect I was. "Ready?" She wondered, looking at me with so much … trust.
I knew that was hard for her.
"We'll come back and get the baby and get Sam."
"But first we'll finally get married."
"You still want to be with me?"
"Forever."
(A/N: Let me just say I really, really, really hate writing happy endings because they're so BORING. But, I promised an alternate ending and after drawing it out, I finally resolved it for you. Please review and give me ideas for a new Jeah fic. I'm in the market for more interesting ideas. Besides this one, After All I'm Just the Mother of Your Child, is my only other Leah-Jacob thing. Luv. Reviews. Happiness. –NL)