Naruto and all other marvel characters are not owned by me at all, if they were well….lets just say I would be in Jamaica right now.
"Deadpool!! Come on! They are going to be angry!" Keitaro sighed as the resident mercenary pooled all his random thoughts into a plan. "you know what will happen once motoko and naru catch onto you".
Deadpool let out a laugh, "come on keister, those two are just ordinary women…one may punch hard and one may have been raised a warrior, but still just women!". Deadpool let his words sink into Keitaro, while he dressed himself into his outfit.
Keitaro looked over at Deadpool with a groan, the mercenary wore a gigantic white wig and was dressed as a certain perverted ninja from a certain anime.
"how do I look?". Deadpool spread his arms open, giving the Hinata manager a full view of his costume. A smile appeared on his face as he waited for Keitaro's opinion on it.
The manager looked him up and down, glancing over to a magazine that had a picture of the ninja in it. All in all, Deadpool looked one hundred percent like the ninja. "Deadpool…I'm being serious….you look exactly like Jiraiya!".
The merc with a mouth shoved his fist in the air, celebrating his wonderful achievement. He then turned to his partner in crime, who had been sitting quietly near Keitaro. Pointing a finger, Deadpool then said "thanks for doing the makeup! It must have been hard since my skin is horribly scarred and disfigured!".
Shinobu blushed at the complement, "well….I think they push Keitaro around too much…". The young girl looked at Keitaro, who smiled at her. Her gaze then went to Deadpool, who was practicing changing his voice, so he would not be discovered so easy.
"hello ladies….Hello Ladies…HELLO…nah too loud..". His thoughts went to certain teammates, who had dropped him off into Japan in the first place. Deadpool rubbed his chin and said to himself "well…who's voice should I try to copy…..wolverine said if I tried to act like him he would gut me like a fish…and Thor talks like he's from the sixteen hundreds…hmmm that leaves ol' cap or…..ill talk like Bruce Willis!! That guy knows how to talk!".
Keitaro watched as Deadpool started to practice talking like Bruce Willis, almost nailing his voice down perfectly. A smirk came onto the Manager's face as he suggested a different voice. "how about Arnold Schwarzenegger?".
Deadpool stopped talking like Bruce and slowly looked back at Keitaro, he then yelled in the best Arnold voice ever "GET DOWN!! IT'S A SNIPA!!! ARRAGUH!!!". He watched as Keitaro and Shinobu busted out into laughter. "Was it that good?".
Keitaro stopped laughing long enough to reply, "that was the greatest impression of him ever! How do you do it like that!".
Deadpool went back over to Keitaro and said "well its easy! First every word that ends with the letter R, change it to A. then add grunts and yells to the end of it, and try to get into his mind…that's how I do it".
Keitaro nodded his head, he then tried it. "ARRRGUH! I NEED SOME PAPA!!". He looked at the merc with a mouth, who laughed so hard, spit came out of his mouth and landed on the table. "was that good?".
Deadpool gave him the thumbs up and said "that was the most best thing ever! The way you said paper!! Perfect!!!".
The two guys shared a laugh as Shinobu, who was trying to hold in her laughter also, handed the mercenary a digital camera. "umm Deadpool? What are you planning to do?".
"Well lass! When the girls go into the onsen, I plan on jumping in, snapping some pictures and then making a run for it!. And if I survive, ill bring it to a computer, put said pictures on the internet and embarrass the crap outta all of them at once!!!!". Deadpool began to laugh maniacally as he fell to his knees and raised his arms.
Keitaro chucked, if this plan worked, the girls wouldn't be able to live the humiliation down. "what if you get caught?".
Deadpool stopped laughing, "haven't thought of that yet….huh…well man beast and bipolar girl won't get the best of me!!!".
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It was becoming too easy for Deadpool to pull these sort of pranks, because one of three girls were usually in on it. Sarah, the annoying blonde girl that Deadpool despised for some reason. Kaolla su, who reminded the mercenary of himself and lastly shinobu, who was so sweet and innocent, the older girls would believe anything that came from the resident cook. His approach to the outer walls of the onsen had been uneventful, but hearing the girls voices on the other side of the bamboo wall made him smile.
"this is too perfect…they won't know what'll hit them until its too late". The merc with a mouth poked his head over the fence and peered at the half naked girls, who had not noticed him yet. Looking down, Deadpool checked to make sure his disguise was still in place. "three…two…one…….GO!".
The ninja formerly known as Deadpool, now Jiraiya leaped over the fence with pin point precision. While in the air, He snapped six pictures before landing in front of the door that led inside. The girls had no time to react as five more pictures were snapped in quick succession.
"I TOOK PICTA OF YOU!!!! ARRRAGURAAAGURAAAH!!!!!!!!". The unknown pervert with a German accent leaped onto the roof of the Hinata apartments and took off, leaving a dazed group of half naked girls behind.
Motoko was the first to react, reaching for her katana that rested nearby. A growl escaped the woman's throat as she yelled. "GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT!!!". She listened for a response, her eyes darting around the roof, trying to catch a glimpse of this man.
One line came from the unknown pervert, which sounded kind of like "NEVA!!!! ARRAGUH!!!!".
Motoko leaped from the ground onto the roof to give chase to the unknown pervert, but she was brought to a stop when she noticed that she was only clad in a towel. A very revealing towel which was wet and clung to her womanly and perfect form….nice.
Deadpool leaped out of the shadows and landed in front of her as motoko gazed down at herself. Taking this chance, the mercenary began to sing in a voice that sounded just like Jiraiya's, but with R&B beats in-between the words. "Girl /bicbicbiwica\ your smooth /whikawhika\ your soft /chicachica\ FINYINYINE!!!!! Yeah silky yeah".
Motoko stared blankly at him as he ran a hand through the long white wig of hair. "WHO ARE YOU!?!".
Deadpool pointed two thumbs at himself and announced, "I'm Jiraiya! The toad ninja! I also write naughty books…but that's on my off time really". He then began to look at the pictures on the digital camera, trying to find that one…you know that one where you see a certain kendo girls……boobies!!!!.
At that very moment, motoko snapped. Drawing her sharpen katana of death, she ran full throttle at Deadpool, who was dodging her moves while looking for that picture. "STOP MOVING!".
"be one with the sword…oh that's a good picture!!!!". Deadpool looked up at motoko, who was sweating from trying to hit him. That sweat in turn, caused her towel to slip off a few seconds later. [CLICK was what the resident swordswoman heard before noticing a very cold draft blow by her.
Deadpool, still holding the camera then said "that's a good one…all nice and sweaty!". He watched as she covered herself before taking off.
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The return trip back to Keitaro's room was more complicated, because the girls had set up patrols in the halls to catch the ninja they nicknamed "perverted Jiraiya the toad". But they never checked the outside of the building, because windows are what ninja's use to get into and out of buildings. They are way too cool for normal entrances called "doors".
Deadpool found Keitaro and Shinobu in the room, playing monopoly. This game had been fun for the merc with a mouth, but after the incident with kaolla su and this game, he found himself to be resentful of it.
FLASHBACK
"I WANNA BE THE DOGGIE!!!". those words came from kaolla su as they decided on the game pieces. Deadpool, who was always the little doggie, decided on the next best thing, The badass looking car!.
"oh yes…you can have your little doggie….but my car runs little puppies over! My car is higher on the food chain!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!". the merc with a mouth raised his arms while laughing.
"are you ok Deadpool?". Shinobu's voice brought him out of that insane laughter of his, and that's when he figured out, he had no inner monologue in flashbacks.
Deadpool looked down and nodded his head, only to see that the little doggie had disappeared from the game board. "where did the doggie go?". his eyes then drifted up to koalla su, who was trying to look inconspicuous, but a small dog shaped in her left nostril gave it away.
"ill get the tweezers…". Shinobu got up and went to one of the bathrooms, leaving Deadpool to watch as Kaolla su acted like nothing had happened.
Deadpool watched her closely "I hate you….".
END FLASHBACK
Deadpool shuddered, but then realized that the little doggie piece was not being used. "you guys know what happened to the doggie right?".
Both Hinata residents nodded their heads as Keitaro landed on one of shinobu's spots. He groaned and handed the younger girl the rest of his money.
Deadpool watched with amusement before saying "god just like real life isn't it? Keitaro has no money, the girls take his money….leaves him with nothing but a little thimble! Its amazing, monopoly is just like real life! Personally I like to buy the cheap properties, becoming the slum lord of monopoly is so much fun".
Keitaro looked up at him and responded, "that's what she did…bought all the cheap property….".
Deadpool flashed a thumbs up to Shinobu and said "you should think about going into the business world, you seem the type to take a lot of money…shes the banker too!!! Sucks to be you Keister!".
Keitaro groaned again as Deadpool sat down and pointed to the little doggie, which was sealed in a plastic baggie. "anyone gonna use that piece?".
"ewwww it still hasn't been cleaned". Shinobu looked at the piece after saying that exact line.
"aww come on! Soak it in some rubbing alcohol! It'll be fine". the two residents watched as Deadpool took the doggie out of the bag and set it on the game board before sitting down and rubbing his hands together. "anyone ready to be owned by the toad ninja?".
And that's chapter….well its another chapter. Yeah!