Alright. I'm happy, I'm rested (kind of) and I'm feeling better... and a lot more alert whilst writing this chapter. It's amazing that I can re-read this fic online and see every mistake I've made, but when it comes to editing it on Microsoft Word I can't find a single one! Urrggh... I'll find them, eventually *glares at MWord*

Anyway. I am very sorry everyone about the incredible cliffie that I left you with last chapter... actually, no, no I'm not but I'll pretend I am just to stop you all from lynching me :p

I'll make up for it with this chapter... which before anyone sends me a comment and 'bitches' at me about, WILL contain SLASH (obviously since that's been my intention the entire time). I mean, oh sure, I could keep them as friends (granted, really, really close, bromance-galore friends) but I think I'm way past the point where they'd remain just friends. If anyone doesn't like this development then I apologise in advance because it's unlikely you'll be reading from here on in (especially considering the fact that I'm not going to hide the slash just to keep you happy).

Oh, BTW: I don't think we're given a definitive age for Charles when he meets Raven and so in response to that I'm making him about fifteen/sixteen when he meets her (and yes, you can have really young looking 15/16 year olds... I'm one who can hold their hands up and say "looky here" on this matter :p)

And another thing; it seems that this chapter is enjoying the changing of tenses (basically, present tense is precisely that, and past tense will be for flash backs and memories... I know, confusing right? :p)

-o-X-o-

-o-x-X-x-o-

-o-X-o-

Love me and make me... burn me and hate me... have me and take me... leave me and break me... let me fall and stand me tall... don't turn from me let me hold you close... I need you with me for it's you I love most...(oh how incredibly emotional of me to write...)

..

Because I love you... What are you meant to say to that exactly? What words can you use to explain how you feel towards someone who is so bold, so determined, to not let you push them away? What can you do except join the Roman Army on its march? What can he do except lean forward slowly, oh so very slowly, and let his lips brush lightly against Erik's own?

A soft, gentle moan rises in his throat and he doesn't stop it as his hands slide along Erik's arms to rest on his shoulders. He can feel Erik's hand on his knee tightening whilst the other slides around Charles' body and he can feel Erik's larger hand resting, splayed, on his lower back. Erik's face is surprised, surprised that he spoke such powerful words, surprised that Charles responded, surprised that this feels so natural and normal and it's like it's meant to be.

Neither can deny it now as they stare into the abyss of the other's eyes, luminescent blue clashing with emerald green, darkest day and brightest night, black and white, it's all there in their gaze's and it's only a heartbeat but it feels oh so very long.

Surging forward Erik captures Charles' deceptively soft lips in his own and runs his tongue over the soft, plush flesh as Charles whimpers and wraps one of his hands around Erik's neck as though he fears his friend will pull back. Neither one dares close their eyes but Charles' flicker as he blinks rapidly and Erik nips at his still closed lips, pulling on the soft flesh slightly and causing Charles to moan deeply. As Erik slides closer to Charles' body, ending up kneeling inbetween Charles' open legs, he pushes his tongue against his lips and Charles' lips finally part and allow Erik inside.

Running his tongue along Charles' front teeth, he smirks as Charles groans and slides his hand down Erik's back. Using his extra height to his advantage, Erik pushes his body against Charles' own until his friend is pushed back into his chair and Erik's upper-body covers most of Charles' own. Running a hand down Charles' front, revelling in the feel of quivering muscles beneath the pyjama top his friend wears, Erik finally breaks the kiss between them and nips Charles' jaw making the young telepath gasp. He smirks against Charles' jaw and slips his hand beneath the top, running his calloused hands over the smooth, but firm, planes of Charles' chest, the pads of his fingers brushing against his nipples and causing Charles to try and arch his back but Erik's body pins him down.

And that's where it goes wrong.

Immediately, Charles freezes, muscles tensing as his eyes snap shut and block Erik out. The unlit fire place in the room suddenly sparks with life, a spluttering flame appearing, and the chess pieces are swept off the board by nothing. Erik stops and looks up at his friends face, seeing the naked fear that the young telepath just can't hide, and he carefully, slowly, lifts himself off his friend and moves so that he's still between Charles' legs but he isn't touching his friend at all. Erik is no stranger to this reaction, except he out-grew it years ago, but Charles is still recovering and so Erik tentatively thinks, hoping that his friend is listening to his thoughts. 'Charles... my friend... my love... you are safe now.'

Charles' eyelids flicker and Erik steels himself and continues to think, knowing, believing, that his friend is listening. 'I am sorry my friend, I did not think but please... forgive me...' Hanging his head, unable to look at his friends face anymore Erik continues to think. He hopes Charles is listening, he hopes that his friend can hear his emotions, his feeling, his love for him in his thoughts. 'I love you so much that sometimes it hurts and I think I've loved you for a very long time... probably from the moment you were stupid enough as to dive into freezing water to save a stranger actually... I found myself watching you more and more, and I didn't know how to stop myself... I didn't want to stop... you're fascinating to me... and it's strange because I thought you were weak after I saw you on the deck after we were dragged out of the water... soaking wet and shivering as Raven and Moira fussed around you...'

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

"Charles!" Raven cried as she dived towards her brother just as he ascended onto the deck of the ship. "You idiot! Are you suicidal?" Raven continued, not allowing her brother to speak as she grabbed his arm and literally dragged him over to where the onboard doctor was standing.

"I'm quite alright Raven, I assure you." Charles said, trying to reassure his sister and subtly slip free of her grip, but she wouldn't let go of him and he sighed. "And no, I'm not suicidal Raven. I resent the implication that I am."

"Then why the hell did you jump into the water? And don't say because there was someone else out there! That is not a justified excuse for nearly dying!" Raven countered as she rounded on him, her eyes flashing yellow in her worried fury. "We talked about this Charles! You don't just do something because you feel you have to!"

"I knew where to look Raven, and I knew what I was doing." Charles countered, his temper rising as he stared at Raven's face. "I couldn't leave him to drown."

"There's more than just you on this damned boat Charles! There are trained professionals who could have saved him. You're here as a consultant Charles, not as a superhero who pulls people from the water." Moira put in as she marched over to the arguing siblings. "Sit down and let the doctor check you over, now."

"Fine!" Charles huffed as he sat down on the bench, Raven following as she refused to relinquish her hold on his arm. "And I know I'm not a superhero." He muttered, just loud enough for Erik's sensitive hearing to pick up as he sat not too far away on the bench.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

'It's funny because now I realise that you just hide yourself... from everyone... no-one really knows you do they Charles?' Erik sighs and Charles' eyes flicker again as he begins to relax, only Erik doesn't notice as he continues to stare at the ground. 'Do you even realise you do it my friend? I think you do to some degree... but I think you've been hiding yourself away for so long that you've started to believe in your facade. Like Raven but not exactly... Raven's always had you who she can be herself with, you never feared her natural state so she doesn't fall for the facade she puts on for the world. But you haven't had that have you? You've never had anyone who you could trust so implicitly, so explicitly, that you could take off every vestige of the mask you cling to so much... have you?'

Charles' eyes open slowly, his blinks once. Twice. And then he focuses on the kneeling man at his feet. He frowns and reaches out a hand when Erik continues with his thoughts.

'What has happened to you Charles? What has happened to you in the past that made you terrified of yourself? I hope nothing my friend... I truly hope you had a brilliant, spoilt childhood where you were loved and cherished... I want that to be true... but it isn't is it?'

"No. It isn't." Charles rasps and Erik's head snaps up as he stares in surprise at his friend. He sees Erik start to open his mouth, start to apologise and he hastens to cut him off. "I didn't realise I would react like that my friend. I apologise for it." He can see the moment he speaks that it's not what Erik wants to hear, he doesn't want to hear him apologise for a natural, instinctual reaction, but Charles doesn't care about that. He cares about what Erik was speaking of. His friend is far too perceptive for his own good, especially when it comes to Charles.

A part of him wishes to erase such questions from Erik's mind - and he could do it too because he's that powerful – because he hates the fact that someone has noticed what he's spent years trying to hide. He doesn't want to recall his childhood, it would make it so easy for him to be consumed by darkness – moreso than it would Erik – and he daren't try to speak of it, yet he doesn't want Erik to question and concoct his own theories. He doesn't want Erik to go to Raven and ask him questions that might spark memories in her that he wants her to never think of; silly memories, flashes and brief moments when he hadn't been as good at pretending as he is now.

But there's a larger part of him, a bigger, brighter, better and more desperate part that wants Erik to ask him those questions, that wants Erik to push him again until he tells him his story. Tell him about the pain that he knows too well, the hurt and betrayal, the feelings of powerlessness that they both know so well but daren't speak of. And it's that part of him that comes into play when he tentatively reaches out with a minutely trembling hand and presses the tips of his fingers to Erik's temple.

"If you want answers to your questions, then ask me please." Charles whispers quietly, the words trembling and stumbling, as he steadies himself for the refusal, the rebuttal and the acceptance of his request. He knows what Erik will say but he does wish he won't say what Charles knows he will.

"Please Charles." Erik says quietly, his words low and deep, emotional and driven but vulnerable and insecure at the same time. It's a beautiful juxtaposition and Charles smiles sadly because Erik is a walking oxymoron.

"I'm sorry my friend." Charles whispers, voice as fleeting as the lightest breeze in the trees, and Erik frowns before gasping as images, memories, flood his mind.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

"Charles!" A shrill, harsh voice echoed along the corridors and the sound of harsh breathing can be heard as a small boy tries to curl himself up into a ball. "Charles! Get yourself down here right now boy!" There was frustration, annoyance and impatience in the voice and the boy flinched instinctively as he felt every last ounce of the resentment present.

"Charles." A deeper, more manly voice echoed down the corridor and the boy froze, his entire body going numb as the sound of footfalls coming towards him reached his ears.

Watching in horror Erik realises he can do nothing to interfere as a tall silhouette appears at the end of the corridor which, Erik realises with a sickening realisation, is the same corridor he and Charles sleep on in the west wing.

"Charles my boy. Don't keep your mother waiting." The man whispered as he knelt down near the boy, even though he was hidden from direct sight – it was almost as though he knew where to find the child – and reached out a hand, placing it firmly on the boys frozen shoulder.

Erik grits his teeth as he sees the man tightening his grip until the boy flinches and tries to pull away, only for the man to harshly drag him from his little haven in the corner.

"You wouldn't want to upset her now would you?" The man added as he gripped the boys shoulder tightly and steered him along the corridor. "Afterall, this is going to be the last time you see her for a month my boy. Don't want her being angry at you for a month do you?" There was a sinister undertone in the man's voice and it makes Erik want to pull the boy away and protect him. But it's a memory and he knows he can't, and maybe that's the worst part of it all... he's able to see what his friend went through but he has no power to change it. He is as helpless now as he was when Shaw was torturing his friend and he was too weak to find him quick enough.

As Erik stares that the young Charles Xavier the child looked towards Erik's direction, not looking at him specifically, but at something and Erik finds himself unable to tear his gaze away because what he sees in those eyes... it's the same look he had in his own when the Gestapo came for his family and they were carted away. It's the look of a trapped, wild animal who knows, somewhere deep inside, that death is near.

As the memory begins to fade away another one takes its place and Erik watches in silence, a tear rolling down his cheek.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

The room is familiar, the main study where the television is and where Charles hardly spends any time. Erik looks about himself, turning slowly in a circle, taking in the changes that have obviously occurred since the time in this memory and he's surprised to realise that only three things have changed. The television obviously. There's a door where there is now a bookcase and Erik realises that Charles has purposefully hidden the door for a reason. And then there's the small name-plate on the table that reads: Doctor Kurt Marko.

Though Erik doesn't understand the significance of the name he does understand that it has ties to something Charles would much rather forget and that is why it no longer resides on the large, oak desk in the main study. Erik turns his attention to the door as it opened and the same boy appeared, walking into the room with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. Erik blinks in surprise as he realises that the young Charles really is just that; young. He couldn't be any more than ten or eleven.

This young Charles seems more controlled, less panicked, than the one Erik had last seen, and he frowns. No-one should have to become so mature so young. Erik himself wasn't mature per say, more like he was damaged and scarred and permanently changed from his life's experiences but he could agree with anyone who said he wasn't mature because to be mature is to be aware of the consequences of one's actions and to realise one's responsibility in relation to them. Erik refused to take responsibility for most of his actions, justifying them with weak arguments, or ignoring the consequences outright.

And Erik realises that Charles, his dear friend, has been more of an adult, more mature, than he had ever realised. His friend has never been the spoilt brat that part of him had jealously believed. Charles has been just as much a victim as he, and he's still turned out to be the better man.

The young Charles moved across the room, over to the, now hidden, door and turned the handle quietly, as though he were afraid of being caught. Turning to look behind him, Erik realises that the young Charles is indeed being sneaky and obviously shouldn't be in the room. Moving forward so he can see better, Erik watches as the young Charles opened the door as quietly as possible and slipped into the room beyond. Swiftly following the young boy, Erik blinks in surprise as he's greeted with a white-washed room not unlike the one where Shaw experimented on him for many years.

The young Charles tip-toed across the white tiled floor over to a draw that was locked. Tentatively, he looked around himself again, before raising his hand over the lock and focusing intently on it, his brow creasing in frustration, until a quiet "click" echoed around the room. The young boy smiled in triumphant satisfaction and pulled the draw open, reaching in and drawing out a small, ornate-looking fob watch. Focusing his sharp gaze on the watch Erik noticed that it was a tarnished silver, obviously old and well-cared for despite its age, the front scratched and encrusted with sand which – when Erik looked closer – was coloured red slightly and he took a step back as he realised what the red was. Blood. The young Charles had snuck into this room, this dungeon that was so vivid and terrifying even to a grown up Erik, to find a fob watch that was covered in bloody sand. Why? What was so important about it that the young Charles obviously risked being reprimanded – and Erik is sure that Charles was reprimanded for it as the door to the room opened again and a tall figure entered the room.

"You shouldn't be in here boy." The tall man said, his voice quiet but laced with anger strong enough to make the young Charles spin around and fall against the cabinet behind him. The young boy stared up at the taller man, fear clear in his eyes but not in his stance as he steadied himself and stood up tall, refusing to shake with fear. Erik found himself admiring Charles' stubbornness, his determination to not show weakness in front of this man – who Erik surmises is Doctor Kurt Marko – and he steps closer to the younger Charles, as though he could stop whatever he was about to witness.

The tall man, Marko, reached out a large hand and clasped Charles' small shoulder tightly, the young boy tensing but not flinching at the contact. Marko pulled harshly, suddenly and Charles was dragged forwards, his arms flying out to try and balanced himself, and Erik watched as the grip on the fob watch in Charles' hand loosened fractionally and the watch flew out of his younger friends hand. The young Charles let out a cry as he pulled against Marko's grip, his eyes following the flying projectile as it angled towards the cold, hard, unrelenting floor. The sound of the fob watch colliding with the tile-flooring was so loud but it was drowned out by the mental cry of anguish coming from the younger Charles who wrenched himself out of Marko's grip and flung himself down onto the ground next to the broken, shattered and dead fob watch.

Marko blinked in surprise and stared down at the small form of the kneeling boy, his eyebrows raised and Erik hears the voice of the man mutter. "Interesting..." as the room began to fade again and another memory took its place around him.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

Standing in the middle of the main study – obviously a few years later because there's the bookshelf at last - Erik watches in silence as a taller, older, stronger Charles Xavier entered the room and strode over towards the now obscured door and pulled a single book back. A loud "click!" echoed around the silent room. Erik let out a small sigh, of sadness and pain and confusion, as the bookshelf moved back and the door was able to be seen. Without any preamble the older Charles, probably around fourteen, fifteen judging by the gangly limbs, opened the door and entered the – well, what Erik thought a dungeon but was most likely a lab of sorts – hidden room. Quickly following Erik enters the room and watches in surprised, horrified silence, as the older Charles moved purposefully over towards the corner of the room that Erik hadn't noticed in the previous memory. In the corner there was a long, vertical... cage of some sort, with glass and plastic sides that looked to have either been painted black or were naturally dark in colour. Without any hesitation, the older Charles knelt down and focused his attention on picking the lock – and Erik wonders what had happened since the last memory to make Charles choose to pick a lock by hand rather than with his powers.

A small, soft, "click" echoed around the room and the older Charles quickly pulled the door to the cage open, reaching out tentatively with a stable hand. His words, when he spoke, were soft and reassuring. "Cain... Cain, it is alright. He is gone for the day. It is safe."

Erik moves closer towards the cage and peers into it, wondering who the hell Cain is and why they're so afraid. He nearly jumps back in surprise when a hand shot out and wrapped itself tightly around Charles' outstretched one. The older Charles gritted his teeth but didn't move even thought Erik is sure the grip is excruciatingly tight, and instead continued to speak. "It's Charles, Cain... come now my brother... you are safe now I promise you."

Brother?

Charles has a brother? How? Why didn't he mention him? Does Raven know? Why didn't Charles trust him enough to tell him? Erik frowns as a stab of pain, betrayal, works its way around his body, into his heart and mind and he stares down coldly at the older Charles, his mind wondering what else Charles has deigned him unworthy to know.

"It is not like that my friend..." Charles' voice echoes around him and Erik turns suddenly to see the adult Charles standing on the other side of the room, lab, dungeon, watching the unfolding memory with sad, haunted eyes.

"Then tell me Charles, how is it like?" Erik snaps, his voice harsher than he expected it to be and he feels a pooling of guilt as Charles flinches minutely.

"Watch..." Charles whispers sadly, something in his voice making Erik fall silent and look over that the teenaged Charles. In the semi-silences of the room the sounds of quiet sobbing reach Erik's ears and he cranes his neck slightly to see what's going on.

Inside the cage the person, Cain – who Erik surmises is a boy – lets out a cry of anguish and tried to pull the teenaged Charles into the darkness of the cage. The teen pulled back, resisting the pull of Cain's grip and instead whispered soft words of reassurance. "Cain, come on... it's safe, I promise... you can come out... he's not here anymore. He won't hurt you..."

Slowly, ever so agonisingly slowly, the boy called Cain emerged from the cage. Erik gasps in surprise as he takes in the features of the boy. Sharp face, small eyes – haunted and dark, damaged and scarred – with strong, wiry limbs. The boys skin was pale and a thin sheen of perspiration reflected the lighting in the room. The teenaged Charles smiled slightly at the boy and whispered encouragingly. "That's right Cain, come on. I'll keep you safe brother..."

After what felt like an age to Erik, the boy sat on the white, tiled-floor shivering whilst the teenaged Charles shrugged off the jacket he was wearing and gently placed it over the other boys shoulders. Carefully, the teenaged Charles lifted the boy up off the floor, supporting him when the boy's knees buckled. Erik listens to the constant litany of words that the teenaged Charles continuously whispered to Cain.

"Charles I don't-" Erik begins as he looks over at his friend who is watching his younger self with so much pain, so much grief in his eyes that Erik's words fail him. Moving through the memory in silence, Erik makes it to his friends side swiftly and he notices the fact that Charles is shaking, his shoulders shivering minutely and Erik reaches out instinctively with a hand. Standing in the midst of one of Charles' most emotive memories, Erik stares at his friend and grasps lightly onto his shoulder.

There was a loud crash behind the teenaged Charles and Cain as the door to the lab, cell, swung open and the tall man, Marko, barged in. Anger clear to see in his features and Erik feels his friends shoulders tense up at the sight of the man.

"I did not give you permission to release Cain, Charles." Marko's voice echoed around the silent room and the teenaged Charles, so full of fear and worry for his brother, instinctively moved to stand in front of the trembling Cain. He stared in fearful defiance at Marko and refused to answer the tall man. "Did you think I didn't know you'd come and save him Charles? Do you think I am stupid boy?"

"No." The teenaged Charles bit out as he stared at the taller man. "Just cruel." He added and his head snapped to the side as Marko's hand darted out and he punched the teen. Stumbling slightly but managing to remain standing, Charles fixed Marko with an angered gaze, so full of rage, hate, fear and pain that Erik can't bear to look into those burning blue eyes.

"Silence!" Marko growled. "You will not speak out of term boy!" He snarled as he grabbed Charles' arm and dragged him towards him.

"Or what?" The teenaged Charles asked, anger and sarcasm in his voice. "You'll put me in the box too?" Erik looks at the younger face of his friend and, though it's masterfully hidden, he sees the fear of 'the box' in those blue eyes.

"Cain!" Marko snapped harshly as he gripped the teen's arm tighter and used his other hand to spin the teenaged Charles around before twisting Charles' free-arm up behind his back, effectively immobilising him. "Ready the box now."

The younger boy, still trembling, hurried to do as Marko asked, avoiding looking at either the teenaged Charles or Marko in the process. The younger Charles struggled against Marko's grip but he stopped and let out a quiet whimper as Marko twisted his wrist near to breaking point.

"Stop struggling boy." Marko snarled into Charles' ear and Erik looks over at his friends frozen form, realising that his friend is reliving the anguish, the pain and the fear that his younger self had been experiencing during this memory. "It will won't end well for you otherwise."

"Get off me..." The teen snarled, renewing his struggles, ignoring the shooting pain running up his arm as Marko twisted his wrist sharply. Silently and swiftly, Marko began to push the teenaged Charles along, twisting the teens arm whenever he stopped moving, until they reached 'the box'.

Erik feels bile rising in his throat as he stares into 'the box' and he can't tear his gaze away from his younger friends' self as Marko roughly shoves Charles inside the box and slams the door shut.

"He would do this daily." The soft, cultured and vulnerable voice of his friend causes Erik to snap his gaze onto his friends face. Charles is staring intently at the still unfolding scene, his eyes blazing with so many emotions that Erik finds it painful to look into them. "Cain would be placed in the cage and I in the box. Two separate cages for two separate people. Though they were just as degrading, destructive and damaging as each other."

"Charles." Erik whispers as he steps closer to his friend. Charles doesn't look away from the memory he's placed them in.

"If you continue watching you will realise quite soon as to why I do not reveal the fact that I once had a brother." Charles' voice is strained, full of emotion and Erik blinks as he thinks over the wording of the statement.

"Had?" Erik echoes as he looks at Charles' face and his friend finally looks away from the memory to focus on Erik's face.

"Yes; had." Charles confirms solemnly and Erik blinks tears out of his eyes, grief and sadness flooding his mind and he knows it's coming from Charles. His friend is letting him feel a little of the emotions that Charles tries so desperately to keep in check.

Back in the memory around them, the lights flickered and the walls groaned suddenly, drawing Erik's attention to the still unfolding memory. Marko looked over at 'the box' in surprise and stepped towards it, hesitantly peeking through the small slit in the door which revealed a shaking teenaged Charles with his arms spread wide and his face ghostly white.

"What are you doing boy?" Marko snapped, apprehension building in his deep voice as Cain stumbled away from 'the box' over towards the desk in the opposite corner. Everything in the room began to shake and the cage where Cain had been locked away in, began to dissolve, piece-by-piece as Marko backed away from the box's door in fear. "Stop it!" He barked as he hurried towards the door leading to the main study, but it slammed shut before him.

"Charles!" Cain shouted out, his voice high and full of terror as the desk too began to dissolve. It was horrific and Erik looks over at his friend, watching the myriad of emotions playing across Charles' white face. This memory wasn't over yet and Erik looked back at the horrid happenings around them.

There was a scream, so full of anger, pain, hurt, fear and suddenly there was silence. Everything slowed, and the door to the box eroded away as the teenaged Charles stepped out of his cage and stared at the frozen Marko. There seemed to be electric blue flames flickering behind the teens eyes and Erik can't do anything but stare in to those burnished eyes, and he sees out of the corner of his eyes that the lighting in the room has started to fail and he can feel the real Charles standing in silence beside him.

"CHARLES!" Cain screamed as time suddenly returned to normal and the teen collapsed to the ground, as the ceiling caved in.

Erik looks at Charles, part of him wondering why the memory is still continuing when his friend whispers. "This is Marko's memory now." And Erik turns to look back at the scene as he watches the tall man as he dived towards the unconscious teenaged Charles and hauled him up, over his shoulder without any hesitation. There are sharp spikes of emotions running through him, fear, anger, worry and downright terror and Erik realises that these are the emotions that Marko is feeling in the memory, not Charles.

He watches in shocked silence as the tall man reached out and grabbed Cain's arm in an iron grip and hurried towards the door, looking at Cain momentarily and hissing. "Open it!"

Cain looked up at Marko in fear before his gaze moved onto the unconscious Charles' face and he turned around suddenly, gripping the handle of the door in his hands. He took a breath and pulled. Erik watches, wondering if the young boy is a mutant also and he finds his question answered when the large door groaned and opened as Cain tugged at the handle. Behind Marko a large explosion occurs and the tall man threw Charles out of the door, and shoved Cain through it just as the explosion caught him as he dived out behind the boys.

The three of them lay on the ground in the study, one unconscious and the other two seriously injured and the last Erik saw of the memory before it ended was the young boy, Cain, trying to sit up and reach for his unconscious brother.

And then there was only himself and Charles standing in an endless stretch of whiteness.

And then, even that ceases to exist.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-mXm-x-o-

-o-O-o-

Erik lets out a gasp of surprise as he falls backwards and lands on the hard, wooden flooring in Charles' room. He's breathing heavily, his heart beating faster than it ever has before in his entire life, as he tries to calm himself and sort out the memories, the feelings, that he's been assaulted with by his friend. Looking up at Charles, Erik notes that his friend is staring at him, his face pale and strained but, other than that, looking remarkably calm and collected.

It feels like a life-time before he is able to get his breathing back under control but Erik sits up carefully, staring up at his friends face, looking into those blue eyes and he can't help but think. 'Oh Charles.'

"I was not lying my friend when I told you killing Shaw would not bring you peace." Charles whispers as he sits forward slowly and stares intently at Erik. "I speak from experience for killing Marko did not bring me peace."

Erik blinks in surprise as his mind shudders to a horrific, crashing stop. Charles killed Marko... Charles killed... Charles...

"It was accidental on my part but that last memory you saw." Charles continues, his voice soft and numb and Erik's struck with the realisation that Charles has shut himself off from his feelings. He finds the realisation incredibly terrifying because Charles should feel, Charles thinks with his heart and to hear his friend speak so calmly, so detached from what he speaks of, is sickening for Erik.

"I lost control of my power, fear fuelling my ability in a way that has only happened once since then." Charles looks down at Erik, his eyes burning as brightly as they were in the teenaged Charles' face in the memory and Erik can't help but shiver at the memory. His friend is meant to be in control, his friend is the one who teaches control to the children, to Erik, and yet Charles is the one, out of all of them, who has the most tenuous grip on his own power because he fears it so much.

"The explosion was the result of several delicate pieces of equipment that my step-father used in his experiments being worn away and the samples being contaminated. They ignited near to the main power-transformer in the room." Charles explains as he slides out of his seat and comes to kneel in front of the now sitting Erik, his eyes still burning ferociously.

"He and my brother, Cain did not survive the explosion, having been too close to the door and caught in the last remnants of the flames." Charles' voice drops to a near whisper and Erik stares at Charles, his eyes bright with unshed tears because he can feel Charles' pain now. "My power protected me but left them completely open to the flames... when I woke up Cain was already gone and Marko was barely clinging onto life. I couldn't save him so I eased his death as best I could..." Erik opens his mouth to say something but Charles cuts him off. "I know that is not what you would have done my friend, but I did not wish for the last moments of my step-father's life to be full of resentment and pain. Though he did not love my mother, he was my father's friend and I owed him some dignity."

Erik's mouth snaps shut in surprise and he watches as Charles leans forwards until their lips are almost touching. "My friend..." Charles' breaths out. "My love..." Erik's heart stutters as Charles reaches up with a shaking hand and caresses his cheek. "I am forever grateful for the patience you have expended waiting for my battered mind to reach some semblance of order, and I am thankful for your friendship..." Charles pauses and stares deeply into Erik's eyes, the sheer power of Charles' emotions shining through his eyes strongly enough to make Erik's breathing increase. "And I thank you for calming me when I needed the serenity that you provide Erik... but, what I am most thankful for..."

Charles' voice peters out and Erik waits in anticipation, his heart beating like an 808 drum and his mind flying about insanely fast as he stares into his friends eyes. "What Charles?" Erik asks, his voice deep and rough, raw and lustful as he feels the softest caress on his face as Charles' hand ghosts over his cheek and his upper lip.

'I am thankful for the fact that I love you and you love me back.' Charles thought as he carefully closed the gap between them and captured Erik's lips in the softest, kindest, most-loving kiss either man had ever experienced. Though there was a roaring beast in Erik's stomach that ordered him to take Charles now, the metal manipulator allowed his friend complete control, becoming as malleable as some of the metals he can manipulate. He let Charles set the pace as the younger man ran the tip of his tongue along Erik's upper lip before darting into Erik's mouth and running it along his gum making the older man moan in wanton desire. 'I love you so much Erik... I love you because you're willing to let me lead because you don't wish me to falter...' Charles' thoughts invade Erik's mind and the metal manipulator can't help but run his hand along Charles' side, revelling in the keening sound his friend makes into the kiss.

Charles raises a tentative hand up, running it lightly along Erik's chest, stopping over his heart and lightly pushes until Erik is lying flat on his back and Charles is on top of him, their bodies touching entirely as Charles' tongue tangles with Erik's own and he holds Erik's face with his hands as Erik's own glide over his back. The fire crackles - the previous spark of life from Charles' prior 'freak-out' serving to have been enough to make the logs catch – and spread a comfortable warmth throughout the room. Erik moans into the kiss as Charles skilfully slips a hand beneath his nightshirt and ghosts over his muscles, the palm of his hand catching the sensitive nipples on his chest and Erik arches his back as he bites Charles' lower lip making the younger man rut against him.

It may not be the fast, desperate, lust-filled sex that Erik had in mind, and he finds that this is better because he knows with certainty that Charles, whilst still in control, is still letting Erik share the reigns, but it suffices and Erik tastes blood in his mouth as Charles nips on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. It makes the primal part of him howl with need and Charles' body shudders above him and Erik can feel his hand slipping down towards waistline of his trousers – trousers that are uncomfortably tight and he really hopes Charles will divest him of them soon enough.

Charles chuckles and Erik realises that the sneaky git is reading his mind, so Erik growls and slips his hand beneath Charles' shirt, scratching the smooth back with his nails and making Charles moan and writhe above him. He can feel everything that Charles is feeling as his friend takes down several of the barriers he holds in place, and Erik is drowning in the sheer want that Charles is feeling. It's enough to kill a weaker man, but Erik is not weak and he is more than a man. He is the person who would burn the world to save Charles and vice versa, no-one could ever compare to them. No-one ever will.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-X-x-o-

-o-O-o-

Later, when they are sated and calmed; their minds finally at peace with the past that had been pressing down upon them, burying them, Erik nuzzles Charles' neck and thinks to him. 'If I am your serenity my friend then you must know that you are mine also.'

'I wouldn't have it any other way my love.' Charles' voice filters through his mind and Erik feels so warm, so content and so safe that he wonders whose feelings they are – because the connection between them is still open wide – and Charles answers his silent wondering. 'They are our feelings Erik, together. We are safe with each other for you I would never harm... but for you the world I would burn.'

'And I you my dear Charles. And I you.' Erik replies as he wraps his arms around Charles' naked body, keeping him close and protecting him from the world around them. 'For you Charles, I would remake the world just to make you happy.'

'Just never leave me and I will never feel sadness ever again.' Charles whispers as Erik places a kiss, a promise on his forehead.

'As if anyone could make me.' Erik thinks, humour in his thoughts and Charles smiles against his chest. 'Well... if you don't inform the children to stop playing knock-and-run on my door I might-' His thought is cut off when Charles thumps him in the chest with his free hand and Erik can't help but laugh as Charles pouts like a child.

-o-O-o-

-o-x-X-x-o-

-o-O-o-

Oh my God... I have to stop now because this chapter has driven me INSANE!

Do any of you have any idea how hard it is to not want to kill yourself when your chapter – which was meant to be simple, straightforward, slash – gets turned around, develops a mind of its own and happily buggers off to another frickin' galaxy on you! *rams head through computer screen* It. Is. So. ANNOYING!

But apparently really useful because this is the longest chapter I've written for this to date, be proud people 'cause this was damned hard!

According to my Microsoft Word I was on page 41 when I started and am now on page 49 (but on a separate document it's longer... yeah I don't know either). Anyway. Moving on.

And BEFORE anyone asks me;

1. Kurt Marko is actually Xavier's Step-Father in the Comics and he had a son called Cain (who I believe ends up growing up as the Juggernaut but that's just too... complicated :p)

2. Marko married Xavier's mother after his father died (eventually his mother snuffed it too) and Marko abused both Charles and Cain

3. Marko died in a lab explosion which was actually caused by Charles and Cain fighting – but I've taken some liberty with that and whilst, Charles is kind of to blame I've focused the reasoning for it all as being Marko's treatment

4. I am completely exhausted by this and whilst the last part seems like the perfect place to just FINISH this entire thing, I'm complicated and annoying and am already thinking up another chapter which continues with the aftermath thing... since there are other characters too ya know? (Remember brain. Other characters!)

..

Anyway, just to finish off this little additional A/N.

If anyone wishes to read through this and give me some super-awesome review that psychoanalyses Charles and Erik, either separate or together, I'd be quite interested. The more feedback you guys give me the better I can make this (mostly 'cause I hate the idea that these characters are getting a little OCC... they're not are they? *bites nails worriedly*)

Hope you liked it, tell me if you did (obviously).

Kasey