Chapter 10: Those who Experienced Truth

Albus Dumbledore was simply a man with undying curiosity, so when he found something that fascinated him, it was really hard for him to turn away and let it be.

Which now was the case with the Elric brothers.

Young may they be, but they were a force to be reckoned with, no doubt. Fortunately, they appeared to be noble and idealistic at heart, which was a great relief. The last thing this world needed was another Tom Riddle, let alone two.

There were days when Severus Snape thought his job was perfectly manageable. Sometimes, it was even mildly enjoyable. Tormenting his students, especially the lazy ones, gave him a good amount of satisfaction. There were days when he was actually complacent with his position, despite being denied his desired post for years now.

This was definitely not one of those days.

When Albus Dumbledore offered him a second chance ten years ago, to change sides in the war and eventually become a Professor at Hogwarts, he knew that it would come with unpleasant duties. Teaching bratty teenagers potions was one of many – yes, even with his sincere dedication to this art and his enjoyment of scaring the students, being a teacher was simply tedious for poor Severus. He'd never liked children. They were loud, disrespectful and immensely irritating, not to mention rarely possessed decent intelligence, which made his job even more aggravating.

The company of other Professors on the teaching staff was a bit of a consolation, though. Ever since Professor Dumbledore got to the top, Hogwarts collected quite the… unique set of teachers. The new Headmaster had the tendency of taking in those who had no other place in the Wizarding World, eventually making the castle a sanctuary for the outcasts of magical society.

Sybill Trelawney for instance, the great-great-granddaughter of the famous seer Cassandra, couldn't get hired anywhere because she was, well… rather eccentric. Also, her talent revealed itself extremely rarely. Severus knew that Dumbledore offered her the position of divination Professor solely to protect her. But she wasn't the only one. Rubeus Hagrid, the gatekeeper, was a half-giant who got kicked out of Hogwarts in his third year. If his true heritage was ever exposed, he would be in even more trouble. Argus Filch, the old caretaker, was a Squib. Squibs had always been looked down on and nobody wanted to keep him, also because of his bitter attitude. Filius Flitwick had goblin blood in him, which caused him to get fired from the Ministry in the past, despite his impressive skills in charms. Cuthbert Binns, who was technically dead, was allowed to keep his job as the History of Magic Professor even after he became a ghost twenty years earlier. And those were only few examples of the staff members' secrets.

Indeed, Hogwarts' teachers were a special group and Severus would be lying if he said he didn't feel like he belonged with them – they were certainly easier to get along with than the 'normal' wizards. He wouldn't go as far as to call them his family, but being accepted among them almost made him happy... almost. Snape was never happy, really.

Today, however, he absolutely despised his position.

If there was anything Severus couldn't stand more than dealing with brats, it was babysitting brats. Worse than babysitting brats though, was babysitting two foreign brats, who – according to the Headmaster – had no clue how the Wizarding World in England worked and needed to be constantly supervised. Not to mention that the time he would have to watch the brats in question was unspecified.

Originally, it was Professor McGonagall's duty to look after the guests from Hungary. But, she would be leaving soon for a vacation with her family. Just because Minerva wasn't married, it didn't mean she had no relatives. She'd been planning to visit her sister for months – it wouldn't be fair to force her to change the schedule, in the Headmaster's opinion. So, the responsibility of watching the Elrics had to be passed onto someone else and apparently, Dumbledore thought Severus was perfect for the job.

The said man was not amused. Not in the slightest.

"Are you sure about this, Headmaster?" he asked with forced curtesy. "Why are you assigning me to this? Couldn't it be anyone else?"

"I'm sorry, Severus," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes that stated otherwise. "But you're the only one qualified, I'm afraid."

"Qualified?" the Potions Master repeated skeptically.

"Edward and Alphonse Elric are… very special young men. They need the company of someone with similar experience to theirs, and you're the only person available."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of 'similar experience' are we talking about?"

Albus sighed. "I don't know, Severus, that's the point. I'm trying to earn their trust, but they are very reluctant to give it. I had hidden something from them, for their protection, and they didn't take it very well when they found out – especially Edward. If you could get them to tell you somehow..."

"In other words, you want me to pry information out of them," Snape summarized, thinking ahead of slipping some Veritaserum into their drinks, preferably during the next meal. With such a powerful potion, it would be a child's play to have anyone spilling all of their secrets. Problem solved.

"No," Dumbledore stopped his track of thinking with a firm shake of the head. "That is the last thing you want to do. They're very smart and perceptive; they'd figure it out immediately and when that happens, they will never trust me again. No, what I need you to do if much more difficult."

"Yes?"

"I need you to befriend them, Severus."

Professor Snape froze in shock. He stared incredulously for a full minute.

"Excuse me?" he managed eventually.

Dumbledore smiled with amusement. "I'm not asking too much of you, am I?"

Snape snorted in disbelief. "I think Hagrid would be much better for this, Headmaster. He makes friends with everything. Literally. Why don't you assign him?"

"The Elrics are not just anyone, Severus," Albus told him. "They may be young, but I'm convinced they've been through a lot, much more than people twice their age usually have." He gave him a thoughtful look. "They're a lot like you."

Snape tensed up. "Were they…?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes. They're not, nor they ever have been Death Eaters," Dumbledore assured him. "They haven't even heard about him before they arrived from their country."

The other Professor relaxed instantly. "Why are they here, then?"

"I'm sorry Severus, but I can't tell you that."

"And why not?" Snape rudely demanded.

"At least, they trust me not to disclose that information, so I feel obligated to keep silent regarding this issue." The Headmaster sent him an amused look. "If it bothers you so much, why don't you ask them yourself?"

Snape frowned unpleasantly. He knew what Dumbledore was up to. He wanted to make him curios and do voluntary what he was being asked. Sneaky old geezer…

"With all due respect, Headmaster, I doubt it's going to work. I don't just make friends." He stated in an highly offended tone.

"Don't worry, Severus, I'm sure you can do it – you have such a charming personality, after all." Severus scoffed, not appreciative of the older wizard's humor. "Also, Minerva mentioned that Alphonse is very interested in potion making. If you offered him a demonstration, or tutoring, he'd be more than happy to accept."

The Potions Master growled. More teaching, during the Summer Break? I hate my job so much, he thought.

Painfully aware that there was nothing he could do to change Dumbledore's mind, he asked grudgingly:

"Anything else, Headmaster?"

"Actually, there is something." Dumbledore's face became very serious. "I need your expertise in certain matter."

Severus immediately sensed the importance of this request, from the difference in his demeanor. "What is it?"

"Do you know anything about blood seals, Severus?"

Well, didn't that sound ominous.

"Blood seals? As in, Dark Magic?"

"I've done some research on it, but my only clue so far is that it might have something to do with souls," Dumbledore said, recalling a conversation he'd had with Professor McGonagall today.

"Did you hear them mention anything about blood seals by any chance, Minerva?"

"Blood seals? What do you mean…? Wait. I think I remember something."

"What is it?"

"When I came to your office, Edward was yelling at Professor Black's portrait, asking him something about his soul and a seal. I don't really know what was that all about…"

"Tell me, Severus. If a person possessed a seal of blood, what would it mean?"

"It… It would probably mean they're keeping something locked in...? But souls… hmm…" The dark-haired man paused, carefully processing. "So it could contain a person's soul, or several, possibly."

Albus nodded. "Just as I thought."

"Why would you need to know something like that, Headmaster?" Snape was feeling unsettled. Blood and souls, it was never a good combination in magic. It sounded a lot like the most evil type of dark arts out there… the Horcruxes.

Instead of answering, Dumbledore asked: "Do you think a seal like that could contain enough energy to be exchanged for something else? A part of the human body, perhaps?"

Snape's eyes widened a bit. "Well, I suppose…" He cleared his throat. "But the problem would be getting the soul contained in the first place. Soul magic is extremely unstable. Capturing something, or someone, in a magic container is simple enough, but separating the spirit and body…" He trailed off and shrugged. "The Dementors use such practice to feed on their victims, but I sincerely doubt the souls remain alive after they're consumed. Not to mention the original vessels are left behind empty, so they quickly die as they cannot function properly. I've never heard of a complete, successful separation of human soul and body, without causing everlasting damage to either of them." He rubbed his chin absentmindedly. "But, supposedly an intact soul was bound by a magic seal? Perhaps it could contain enough energy to be used for restoring a lost part of human body, if that's what you're asking. Cursed flesh can't be manipulated or regrown by ordinary magic of course. But someone desperate enough, willing to sacrifice a human soul to heal a fatal injury, possessing one already captured and contained at their disposal…" A dark frown creased his forehead. "I guess it's possible."

"Thank you, Severus. That would be all."

Professor Snape wasn't happy with Dumbledore's blatant refusal to tell him why he inquired something like that. But he understood when he was being dismissed. He huffed, flared his black cape behind him and retreated from the office.

Albus slowly sat at his desk, lost in thought.

"Edward, Alphonse… Just what have you two done?" he said to himself quietly, struggling to solve this puzzle with those new pieces of information, but still lacking too many elements of it to make the picture whole.

"Lumos."

Ed watched with no small fascination as the tip of his wand glowed with bright light.

"Just what is your source?" he muttered quietly, examining the stick in his hand. "Where is it? There's no way it comes from within, the chemical makeup of wood is entirely different than the wavelength of the rays suggests… Where does it come from?"

"Brother, you're talking to yourself again," Alphonse remarked as he flipped a page of his book.

"Am not!" Ed protested.

"Are too."

"I wasn't talking to myself!"

"Well, who were you talking to, then?"

"I was talking to Charlie!"

Al raised an eyebrow. "Charlie."

"Uh-huh!"

"And Charlie is…?"

Ed pointed to the glowing stick. "My wand."

Al deadpanned. "You named your wand 'Charlie'."

"Yup."

"Brother," the younger Elric said carefully as he put his book down, "I think you're going insane."

"Well what else did you expect?!" Ed exclaimed in a sudden outburst of frustration. "This place is driving me crazy!" He looked back at the still glowing wand and commanded: "Nox." Charlie's light faded instantly. "Nothing we've come across here so far makes any sense! All this research, experimentation, but no results whatsoever!"

"We'll figure it out," Al reassured him. "Don't worry. There's got to be Equivalent Exchange somewhere. For now, I suggest we learn as much about this world as we can. He might discover something helpful…" He scanned the room for a moment, looking for something that would help Brother take his mind off things. Finally, he picked up the book he'd been reading and said: "…besides, you can't deny some of this magic stuff is quite fascinating. Take magical creatures, for example. Did you know that there's a creature that can transform into your worst fear?"

To his relief, the distraction seemed to work.

"Really?" Ed blinked in surprise. "Huh. That is interesting."

"If I understand correctly, nobody knows what is the Boggart's – that's the creature's name – true form, because it looks differently to every person." Seeing the question written in his brother's eyes, Al explained: "It's not really becoming what you're afraid of, though, it's more of an illusion. The purpose is to scare away the potential attacker. It seems Boggarts are actually nonaggressive and timid, as they generally avoid contact with people. Sometimes they hide in places like closets or drawers, like cockroaches."

"Maybe they are cockroaches when nobody is looking," Ed joked. "Wouldn't be the strangest thing in this world."

"Maybe. Who knows." Al shrugged. "Anyway, what do you think your Boggart would look like?"

"Honestly?" Ed tapped his chin thoughtfully. "We've seen so many messed up things, I don't know which was the scariest."

"Me neither," Alphonse agreed. "The Boggart would be having a hard time trying to pick one. Oh!"

"What is it?"

"I think I know what yours could be, Brother!" Al grinned.

Ed frowned, suspicious of his little brother's mischievous look. "What?"

Al's grin widened. "Imagine Teacher…"

Ed instantly paled.

"…on one of her worst days-"

"No more, Alphonse!" Ed nearly screamed. "Teacher is scary enough on her best days!"

"-with a carton of milk in her one hand-"

"The hell?" Ed gawked. "Why milk?!"

"-a butcher knife in the other, after finding out-"

"Not listening!" Edward covered his ears dramatically.

"-that it was you who misplaced her favorite cook book!"

Ed seemed to be chocking on air. "You want to give me a heart attack, Alphonse?!"

Al laughed as Ed shuddered and shot him a dark glare.

"You evil brat! Do you enjoy causing me near-death experiences?"

"Sorry, Brother, but your reaction was priceless!"

"Oh yeah?" Ed put his hands on his hips. "Well then, I know what your Boggart would be! I can see Teacher-"

"You're not being very original, you know…"

"-teaming up with May."

Al instantly quieted. "You wouldn't."

Ed smirked at Al's expression with satisfaction. Sweet payback. "Oh, but I would. Remember that time when Teacher's pie mysteriously disappeared? Now, imagine May and Teacher, both of them, working together to solve that particular mystery. Such a lovely image, isn't it, Al?"

Al looked like he was about to faint. Ed cackled.

"That's not funny at all, Brother!"

"Yeah it is! You should see your face!"

"Like you said, Teacher is bad enough! But having May-" Al shook his head to get rid of such terrifying vision. "You cannot imagine the horror they'd unleash together."

Ed snorted. "Hey, I've been dealing with Winry as my wife for the last two years. And her early-pregnancy mood swings. I think I know a thing or two about female horrors."

Al cracked a smile. "Fair enough."

They exchanged knowing looks and then laughed heartily in unison.

"I miss May," Al confessed after they calmed down.

"And I miss Winry," Ed admitted. "Why we never talk about them, Al? It's been over a month and…"

"I don't know… I thought you were avoiding the subject," said Al a bit sheepishly. "With you being already so worked up over getting us home and becoming a father, I didn't want to bother you more than necessary."

"But you're worried too, aren't you?" Ed scrutinized him. "I mean, you've been so looking forward the wedding. It must be even harder on you."

"I wouldn't say that… I mean, sure, I am a little nervous," Al rubbed the back of his neck. "This is kind of a big deal after all. But it's not like I'm losing sleep over it or something."

"That's good." Ed patted him on the shoulder. It really was. Al used to have minor insomnia after he'd been returned to his body, so developing sleeping problems wouldn't be unexpected for him in times of high stress.

"Let's not make this a taboo subject between us, okay, Brother? You can tell me anything, you know that."

"Sure." Ed smiled warmly. "But same goes to you, Al. Don't worry about 'bothering me more than necessary' or some crap, got it? If you're missing home and want to talk about it, just do it." He extended his hand towards him.

Al grabbed the hand and squeezed it. "Deal."

Somebody knocked on the door. The brothers turned simultaneously.

"Come in!" Alphonse said, expecting Minerva to enter. However, when the good opened, it wasn't the transfiguration Professor who walked into their room.

It was the gloomy Potions Master, Professor Snape.

"Oh, hello, Professor," the younger Elric blinked in surprise.

"Severus Snape, correct? You're the guy who teaches potions," Ed remembered.

"Yes, your memory is truly remarkable Mr. Elric," Snape replied expressionlessly, but it was easy to sense sarcasm behind his indifferent tone.

Edward frowned in confusion. There it was again, the guy acted like he had something personal against him. I haven't done anything to him, have I? he wondered. I mean sure, I guess I tend to make enemies wherever I go, but I didn't do anything to make him my enemy… yet.

"I regret to inform you that Professor McGonagall is leaving today for her summer vacation," Severus Snape continued, "Since the Headmaster believes you two are in need of a guide, the responsibility is entrusted in me from now on."

"Hey!" Ed crossed his arms in defiance. "We don't need a babysitter!"

"Believe me," Snape snarled "I'm no more ecstatic with this arrangement than you are."

"Look, Professor. No offence, but we can take care of ourselves."

"Unfortunately, my duty is to follow the Headmasters orders. As much as delighted I'd be to leave you alone, I'm afraid it's not an option."

"In other words, we're stuck with you." Professor Snape scowled in response. Ed sighed and muttered in Amestrian: "Typical higher-up move. That bastard."

"Brother!" Al chastised him.

"What? He is. You know I hate escorts. Besides, I bet Double Door sent this guy to spy on us."

"You don't know that, Brother. Minerva certainly wasn't spying on us. She's been very helpful."

"If you don't mind," Severus interrupted them. "Could you please speak in English in my presence, or at least cast a translation spell in advance."

"Can't you do it yourself?" Ed asked, challenging.

"I could, however, using one on myself to eavesdrop on your private conversation would be considered unethical." Snape narrowed his eyes. "Of course, talking about somebody in their presence while using a different language is considered very rude as well, as you can imagine."

"We're sorry Professor," Al said quickly before Ed could make the situation worse. "It will not happen again."

"Yeah. Sorry." Ed didn't sound too sorry though. He really didn't like how unfriendly this wizard was for no apparent reason. "We weren't talking about you, anyway. I was just saying that your boss is quite a bastard to put us in this situation."

Alphonse groaned. "Brother…"

Ed shrugged, unapologetic. "Well, it's true isn't it? I mean, it's clear that he," he pointed at Snape "Doesn't like this either, but Double Door is making him do it anyway. He's a stuck-up bastard just like Mustang."

Severus raised one eyebrow an inch. "Who?"

"Just some arrogant jerk back home who loves to make his subordinates suffer-OW!" he exclaimed when Al whacked him in the head. "What was that for?!"

"We both know you don't think of him that way… at least not anymore." Al smiled a little. "Mr. Mustang is our friend."

"Friend, sure," Ed drawled rolling his eyes. "Doesn't change the fact he's a lazy slave-driver with a god-complex who-"

"Admit it, Brother."

Ed sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright, so I don't hate him. I guess you could call us friends, maybe. He's still annoying at times, but at least he's trustworthy and you can count on him to watch your back." Then he looked at Snape and stated antipathy: "Which couldn't be said about your boss it seems."

The Professor's expression remained tranquil at the accusation. At least now he understood exactly what the root of the problem was. Judging from his speech about that Mustang character, it seemed it was very hard to earn Edward Elric's trust, especially once it'd been lost. He was a man of actions over words, some pathetic placation would never persuade him to change his mind. But Severus had to start somewhere.

"I may not know what happened between you and the Headmaster," he said carefully. "But he always has a reason for the things he does, even if they don't make much sense at the time. That's what my experience has taught me, at least. Professor Dumbledore mentioned there was something he hid from you in order to protect you, but it was never his intention to hurt either of you."

"Yeah, right." Ed huffed.

"Even so, he didn't have any right to do that," Al said sternly. He didn't like being lied to any more than his brother was. "Our lives are our concern. We're grateful for his help, but we don't appreciate being manipulated or left in the dark. So I hope he isn't planning on doing that again."

Snape smiled wryly. "Believe me, it is the last thing he is going to do. For reasons unknown to me, he thinks very highly of you. If I recall correctly, he called you… 'too smart and perceptive' to fall for that sort of thing."

"Really?" Ed still might have been suspicious and skeptical, but he could feel glad to hear the old geezer wasn't underestimating them. "But where do you fit in all of this?"

"Whatever do you mean, Mr. Elric?"

"Don't give me that! Double Door sent you to spy on us, didn't he?"

"On the contrary, I was specifically warned not to."

Ed was completely perplexed by this point. "Well, why did he send you then?"

"I believe… 'to befriend you' was the term he used." When Severus said the word, he made a sour face like he just drank a gallon of vinegar.

Ed and Al blinked, as an image of Professor Snape handing out cookies with a martyr's expression popped out in their heads. They burst out laughing simultaneously.

"Of course he did! Because clearly, you're the perfect man for the job!" Edward snickered.

"Sorry, Professor!" Alphonse covered his mouth with his hand, but couldn't stop giggling. The Potions Master's expression was just too funny for them.

As embarrassed as the Professor was, he didn't let it show.

"That's exactly what I said, but Professor Dumbledore is convinced we're going to get along… for some unfathomable reason." He winced.

"Now I just feel bad for you," Ed grinned. It was hard not to pity the clearly unsociable, much too uptight for his own good wizard, being put in such uncomfortable position. "How about we make a truce, okay? You don't bother us too much, we stay out of your greasy hair and if Double Door asks, we'll tell him you're doing a great job and we're best friends already. How does that sound?"

Snape bared his teeth unpleasantly at the insult. "As tempting as this offer is," he drawled out "Professor Dumbledore isn't a fool. He'll notice if I'm not doing my job."

Alphonse wanted to say something, but the older Elric beat him to it.

"Don't be so sure about that," Ed smirked smugly. "How good are your acting skills?"

The Professor straightened his shoulders. "Sufficient."

"Well then, Severus! Thanks for checking up on us, we really appreciate it! It's been so fun to chat, but unfortunately, we've got some work to do," Ed cheerfully steered him out of their room while Alphonse rolled his eyes at his brother's theatrics. "I'm sure we're going to see you soon, we're such great friends after all. Oh, and don't forget to tell Double Door we're so grateful that he watches over us and makes sure we're not alone in this big, intimidating castle. It's been absolutely delightful to meet you, now bye!" As soon as the Professor passed the door-frame, Ed grabbed the handle and forcefully swung the door.

'SLAM!'

"What?" Ed smiled innocently at his brother while Alphonse face-palmed, sighing.

And thus, the most bizarre truce between the Elric Brothers and the Potions Master remained in power. They avoided Snape and in return, Severus didn't bother them – with the exception of obligatory daily visits, which were as short as possible. However, even with how little contact they had, their forced coexistence soon reached the level of respect and a sort of mutual understanding. The Professor quietly admired the dedication and focus the Elrics had for their studies, while Ed and Al silently appreciated that even with his obvious annoyance and discomfort, at least Snape made sure they had everything they needed. After a while, Edward decided that despite his unfriendly exterior, Snape wasn't really a bad guy. He was just a bit dreary and introverted. Alphonse remarked that he was a lot like Scar, after he joined them to help decode his brother's notes. Ed noticed it too, the guy must have had a harsh past - they met enough people hurt by war to know what it looked like. They wondered if Severus was directly involved in the war from ten years ago, the one that the Headmaster had told them about.

In the meantime, Dumbledore had quite a lot on his plate. Not only did his search for Nicolas so far was entirely fruitless, the preparations for the next school year didn't go so well either. After the word had spread out that Professor Quirrell died, nobody seemed eager to take the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. The rumors that the post was cursed had been circling around for years, but no one had ever died before. It changed quite a lot.

Now, no sensible wizard would want to take the job – one that could cause death withing the span of one year. So it shouldn't come as a surprise then that the wizard who eventually volunteered wasn't exactly sensible.

Albus had heard about Gilderoy Lockhart before, of course. The man had published a large number of books describing his adventures, including disarming dangerous monsters, saving villages and other improbable feats. After some inspection though, Dumbledore decided the information was too accurate to be pure fantasy. The man must have known something about the Dark Arts is he wrote those books, which gave him a little bit of hope.

However, that hope vanished completely after Mr. Lockhart's hearing.

The wizard was, to put it simply, a fraud – that much was obvious. He was a self-absorbed celebrity who constantly bragged about "winning the Order of Merlin, Third Class, becoming Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award," which Lockhart proudly proclaimed each time he introduced himself (making Albus wonder, just how much Gilderoy was in love in the sound of his own voice). With his dashing looks he might have been capable of winning the hearts of witches nation-wide, but the male population of the Wizarding World was rarely fooled by that pretentious grin, and that included the Headmaster. That man was, obviously, a fake.

Unfortunately, Dumbledore wasn't able to tell where his deception lied. Were the man who wrote the books and the man on the poster two different people? Or, was this man not Gilderoy Lockhart at all? The realistic part of those fantastically exaggerated adventure-books must have come from somewhere, and it certainly wasn't this person who came up with them. Albus wasn't sure and he had no evidence against the wizard who was, sadly, his only candidate for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

As the result, Albus was sadly left with two options: he would either hire Lockhart, as incompetent as he seemed, or he would find another teacher this week.

He asked among his staff, but nobody was willing beside Severus, and he wasn't an option for various reasons. Besides, he couldn't have a Professor teach two different subjects at the same time. It simply wasn't possible with how tight the schedule was.

Finally, left with no other options, he decided to ask one of the only two people in Hogwarts who didn't yet have a job, and he could only pray his request wouldn't be met with extreme hostility, considering the identity of that man…

"Wait… You want me to what?"

Professor Dumbledore released his breath. Edward's initial reaction wasn't nearly as bad as he had anticipated.

"I'm offering you a job. We need somebody to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."

To say that Ed was surprised would be the understatement of the century.

"You would be having fair working hours, so you could continue your research on magic-"

"Wow, wow, wow, slow down." Ed raised his hand to stop him. "Let me get this straight. You want me. To teach magic. In your school."

Dumbledore smiled in confirmation.

Ed exchanged a disbelieving look with Al. Alphonse shrugged, not certain what to think himself.

"Look, Double Door, I'm flattered, but I don't think we're on the same page," Ed started. "Al and I are researching magic only to figure out how to get us home. As soon as we do, we're out of the picture. We're not staying for the whole year."

"I'm aware of that," Dumbledore responded. "When it's time for you to leave, I'll find a substitute teacher."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Are you really that desperate?"

"But Professor," Alphonse spoke "We're hoping to leave as soon as Mr. Flamel is found. The school year won't even begin before we're gone."

Dumbledore's worried expression unsettled the brothers.

"I'm truly sorry, but in spite of my efforts, Nicholas hasn't been found yet. And his time runs out in only two weeks. I'm afraid it's a strong possibility that we won't be able to reach him before his Elixir runs out."

Ed gritted his teeth. He'd tried not to think about it, but to be honest, he was nervous and stressed about the deadline. It wasn't just that he wanted to punch the man in the face before he passed away, Nicolas held the key that could bring him and Al home. If he was to die in some unknown location, they would never find that portal-opening medallion.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore sounded very sincere. "I'm sure you're going to look for another way regardless, and if there's anywhere you can find it, it's Hogwarts. I'm offering you a job out of our mutual convenience. Equivalent Exchange, isn't it?"

Ed furrowed his brows, thinking hard. Alphonse and Albus watched him, waiting for his answer.

"…no."

Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "No?"

"No." Ed repeated. "I won't teach magic in your school."

Albus more curious than anything by this calm, yet final response. "Would you mind telling me why?"

"I'm not against the idea itself. It's about the subject. I won't teach magic. According to your standards I may be a wizard, but firstly I'm an alchemist. Alchemists' job is to learn about the flow of the world, understanding being the first step. I don't understand magic yet, where its energy comes from and where it goes. And unlike your subordinates, I refuse to teach a subject I don't fully comprehend. Besides," Ed sounded amused. "I've been studying magic for a much shorter time than most of those kids. How could I teach them if they're better in the subject than me?"

Dumbledore nodded in acceptance. The reasoning was perfectly sound.

"But Brother, I've seen you preform magic and I think you're pretty good at it," Al pointed out.

"That's not what it is about, Al. It's about the principle. I take this seriously and I don't think I have the qualifications to do this job."

"I understand..." There was a audible disappointment in the Headmaster's tone. "I can't counter your argument, but I still think you are a much better choice than the other candidate."

Ed knew he was being baited, but he took it anyway. "Who's the other one?"

"A wizard who, while he claims to be an expert, is probably worse at performing magic than Alphonse here."

Even Al laughed at the comment. "You can't be serious, Professor?"

"Unfortunately I am, but that is not what's the most worrisome. You see, Gilderoy Lockhart is the only other candidate because nobody else wanted the job: after what happened with Quirinus Quirrell, people think that the post is cursed so the next person taking it would die within a year."

"That's ridiculous." Ed rolled his eyes.

"It is suspicious though that even with such dangerous rumor circling around, Mr. Lockhart still decided to apply. I have a feeling he's up to something. There's dishonesty in his eyes."

"But you don't know exactly what his plans are, so you have no choice but to hire him," Alphonse easily guessed.

"That would be the case, yes." Dumbledore looked at Al with humor in his eyes. "Unless you would like to take the offer?"

Al laughed, amused. "No, thank you very much. I don't think your students would happy having a Squib to teach them magic."

"You'd be surprised," Albus said with a mirthful twinkle in his eye "For some students the more incompetent their teacher is, the happier they become."

Al smiled and looked at his brother. Ed seemed to be lost in thought.

"Brother? What is it?"

Ed blinked and focused on Al's face. "Sorry. I was just thinking…" He turned to Dumbledore. "I won't teach magic, but I could teach a different subject in your school. After all, we owe you for letting us stay here and allowing us to use your library."

Alphonse was shocked. "What? You're not serious, are you?"

"While I was reading 'Hogwarts, A History', I looked over the curriculum," Ed continued casually. "Your school doesn't offers enough scientific subjects in my opinion. Astronomy, Arithmancy and maybe Potions, but that's about it. There's nothing to train the children's minds and keep them sharp, and that's a very bad thing, considering your responsible for creating a whole new generation of wizards into your society. It's no wonder all the wizards we have encountered take their power for granted."

"I can't believe it…" Al started using Amestrian in his stupefaction. "You're actually willing to teach? Out of your free will! Whatever happened to 'we shouldn't interfere in some other world's affairs'?"

"Is that so?" Dumbledore didn't appear too surprised to hear this proposition. "What would you like to teach then, Edward?"

"Science," Ed said like it was obvious. "The laws of nature, rules that govern the universe, physics, chemistry, understanding the flow of the world – to prevent them from becoming conceited with power. There isn't a more important lesson than that. When we were young, we didn't listen to our Teacher and it cost us nearly everything." Unconsciously, he grabbed his right wrist. "I don't want anybody else to make the same mistakes we did. That's the reason why-" he stopped himself in the last moment and said instead: "…that's why I'd like to teach. Yeah."

Alphonse was stunned, and so was the Headmaster.

"But most importantly… if I became a teacher, I would be able to keep an eye on that Lockhart guy for you," Ed explained. "We'd figure out what he's up to and stop him before he can cause any trouble." He grinned with an evil glint in his fiery eyes. "After all, busting up people is a specialty of ours, isn't that right Al?"

"O-oh!" Al blinked. "Right."

"Hmm…" Dumbledore caressed his beard thoughtfully. "I have to admit, that was one of the most impressive hearings I've ever had in this office, Edward." The Professor clapped his hands. "Very well! We'll create a new Elective, scientific subject for the students of all years… unless you think there should be an age restriction?"

"Not at all. Everybody should know this, no matter what age they are."

"What your class shall be named, Edward?"

"Our class," the younger Elric interrupted. Ed turned to him in surprise.

"Al?"

"If you're teaching, then count me in too," he said confidently.

"But Al, you don't have to-"

"I don't have to? What are you talking about, Brother? You know we're both in this. Wherever you go, I follow."

"But it's not your-"

"Say one more word and I'm going to punch you."

"…And people say I'm the violent one."

"I mean it, Brother. When you've experienced Truth…" he looked at Ed meaningfully "…you have an obligation to warn and save those who are still ignorant. Power has to be handled responsibly. Teacher has failed in our case, we can't let that happen to other people."

"'Experience Truth', huh…?" Albus murmured, interrupting their discussion. "That's interesting…"

"What is?" Ed asked innocently, determined to keep the subject of the Gate to themselves.

"You see, I remember Nicolas saying something very similar once."

The brothers immediately became alert.

"What?" Ed shouted. "Nicolas talked to you about Truth?!"

"What did he say?" Al asked with worry. "Please, tell us, Professor. It might not seem like it, but it's very important."

"It's a bit of a long story, actually." Dumbledore sat in his armchair and invited the Elrics to do the same. When they were all seated, he cleared his throat and began: "I was still quite young when I met him for the first time. I was brash and curious and very interested in alchemy. Being a top-class student, I made connections that allowed me to contact Nicolas Flamel. He was very reluctant at first, but eventually he agreed to give me a chance as his lab assistant. We got along quickly, we had many things in common. Together we have made some remarkable achievements, like-"

"-discovering twelve uses of dragon blood," Ed interrupted. Then he grinned at the Headmaster's questioning look: "I've read your Chocolate Frog card."

"Ah, I see."

"Chocolate what?" Al blinked, not certain if he'd heard correctly.

"I'll tell you later Al. I had no idea an old geezer like you would be into bowling."

"What can I say, I'm a man of many talents," Albus said mirthfully.

Alphonse sweat-dropped. "I do not even want to know…"

"We got off topic a little bit," the Professor admitted. "As I worked with Nicolas, I couldn't help but be curious about the Philosopher's Stone. After all, he's the only wizard in history who ever managed to create it."

"He didn't create it," Ed said angrily. The fame and respect he had earned among the wizard community was all a lie. He was very disappointed in his former friend. How could Nicolas claim something like that?

"I know, but everybody in the world believes it, Edward. I have to admit I feel honored to be in the presence of the only two people on Earth who actually know how it's made… even if it comes at a terrible price."

"You don't even know the half of it…" Al murmured softly. Both of them would have been better off not knowing.

"I don't suppose you would be willing to tell me where you two have gained such knowledge, do you?" Albus asked carefully.

"Why, so you could make a Stone for yourself?" Ed glared at him suspiciously.

"Of course not." The Professor stated with such seriousness and conviction, the brothers had no choice but to believe him. "I have to make sure that this information wouldn't be leaked. There are some people in this world who would have given anything for immortality. They cannot find out about this."

"I guess our worlds have something in common," Ed commented thoughtfully. "Sorry."

Albus smiled at the apology. As distrustful as Edward was, he wasn't entirely hostile against him.

"You don't need to worry about that, Professor Dumbledore," Al spoke. "The person who… invented the Philosopher's Stone, so to speak, died five years ago. There still are some people in our world who know how its created, bet we trust them not to reveal it to the public. Human experimentations are illegal and punishable by death in Amestris."

"Besides," Ed butted in "As far as we know, the only person who's aware that England exists at all is Mustang, and he doesn't even know it's in another world. I doubt anybody from our side is coming here to spill the beans anytime soon."

"Mustang? Is he friend of yours?"

"Yes," Al responded before his brother could. "And he is trustworthy. He is the one who asked us to go after Mr. Flamel after he got the Stone."

"Does he know how to make one?"

"He would sooner die than reveal it to anyone."

"How many people know?"

"It's hard to say… There were a lot of people involved, but not everyone knows the details. It was a full-blown war."

Albus watched the Elrics with a concerned expressions. "And you two participated?"

"We had no choice, really…" Ed said indifferently. It was actually kind of funny, one could think they had been destined to become involved – after all, their own father was a human Philosopher's Stone.

Dumbledore saddened, hearing how casual the older Elric was about war. They really must have seen way more than youth their age ever should. That explained why Edward's posture reminded him so much of a soldier's. How tragic.

"I'm glad to hear that the secret is safe. Back to Nicolas…" He leaned back in his chair. "When I was about twenty-five years old, I asked about medical alchemy. I wanted to know if alchemy could be used for healing people, if it could recreate limbs for instance."

"I imagine he wasn't happy with you," Ed said, seeing where this was going.

"It was the first time I've ever seen him so angry. He forbade me asking about it, researching it or encouraging anyone else to do it. Sometime later, he said that if I wished to continue working with him at all, I would have to make an Unbreakable Vow."

"'Unbreakable', how?"

"It's a very powerful, but dangerous spell. When the Vow is broken, both people involved lose their life as the result. It can be only broken by death of at least one of them."

The Elric Brothers gaped at the elder in horror.

"What?! Who would agree to something like that?!"

"You didn't do it, did you, Professor?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. I wanted to remain his assistant very badly and as I already told you, I was quite brash in my youth. Also, I understood his demand – being experienced in the medical field of alchemy, I suppose you would understand his reasons better than I."

"What did he make you promise, exactly?" Ed couldn't keep the curiosity out of his voice.

Professor Dumbledore looked at him somberly. The memory flashed in his twinkling blue eyes.

An alchemist, an assistant and a witch stood in the dark laboratory. The younger wizard had weary chills running down his spine. As determined as he was, deep down he was scared, too. He was definitely not a coward. He was a Griffindor. However that didn't mean he had a death wish. This would be his first – and hopefully last – Unbreakable Vow and he had no idea what Flamel was going to ask him. What would happen to him if he was ever forced to break the Vow? Would his friend and mentor go down along with him? The thought itself was terrifying.

Still, he would not back down. His eyes narrowed to show his mentor his determination. "I'm ready."

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," the brown-haired man spoke. Despite appearing to be around his own age, Nicolas sounded incredibly old and ancient at the moment. The witch pointed her wand at their joined hands. "Do you swear to never use living beings as test subjects in alchemy without my consent?"

Albus nodded shortly. "I swear."

A slim tongue of flame-like light issued from the wand, wrapping around their hands like a burning hot wire.

"Do you swear to never attempt medical alchemy without my permission?"

"I swear." Another ray of light erupted from the wand. The grip of Flamel's hand tightened noticeably.

"Do you swear to never, ever, under any circumstances, try to create a human being with alchemy?"

Young Dumbledore widened his eyes and looked at the alchemist in shock.

"Sir…!"

"Do you swear, Albus?" Nicolas repeated, gripping his hand so hard it became painful.

"I-I swear," he gasped.

"Very well." Flamel relaxed his hold on his hand when the last beam of light sealed the Vow for eternity, enveloping them both. "Too many people had made this mistake in the past, many of whom were my own students. As a person who experienced Truth, it is my duty to protect you from becoming conceited. There are boundaries that cannot be crossed, not even with the power of alchemy. Dead cannot be resurrected, Albus, I need you to remember that. Do you understand?"

Albus was tempted to say that there might be certain ways – weren't the ghosts a proof of that? And what about the Deathly Hallows? The Resurrection Stone? He knew it couldn't be just a myth!

But, seeing the hazel eyes of the alchemist staring into his soul with such intensity, there was only one reply he could give.

"Yes, sir."

Finally, the spell released his hand. Albus rubbed it in relief, wondering if he was going to have any bruises tomorrow.

Nicolas Flamel left soon after with his wife, but that intense look in his eyes remained.

Edward and Alphonse sat still as they listened. When the Professor finished, there was a grave silence.

"Brother…" Al spoke quietly in Amestrian. "You didn't tell Nicolas anything about Truth, did you?"

Ed slowly shook his head. "No. I didn't."

"We should have known." Al sighed sadly. "He's had the Philosopher's Stone for six hundred years. He has seen plenty of people die. I guess… he must have thought that with magic and alchemy, together, he would be able bring one of those people back to life."

Ed pressed his lips with a dark frown. Yes, what Al said made perfect sense. Nicolas had been studying in West City's State Alchemist library for years, he must have come across restricted materials at some point. Having practically an unlimited amount of time at his hands, he could have easily developed his own theory for Human Transmutation. And there was nobody to warn him about the consequences.

The retired State Alchemist exhaled deeply and placed his head in the palm of his hand. He could relate to Nicolas – too well – but that didn't change the fact that that the wizard had committed yet another taboo. Flamel had to know that it was forbidden. Even without the law stopping him, he should have known it was wrong.

That didn't stop us though, did it, Ed thought sullenly. He couldn't help but feel partly responsible. He had been researching with Nicolas for a full year. He could have told him the truth. He could have warned him. It was ironic, really: first Teacher, then he and Al, now Flamel… and some of his own students too, according to Double Door's story.

Who did Nicolas try to bring back? …And what was taken from him?

Al must have been reading his mind, because right then he said to Dumbledore: "Professor, can I ask something?"

"Of course, Alphonse."

"Have you ever noticed Mr. Flamel… lacking… something?"

Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "Lacking? What do you mean?"

"I mean if he does not have a finger, or a toe, or did he lose his sense of taste… Things like that."

The Headmaster was baffled by the question. "No, I don't think so… Why do you ask?"

Al looked at Ed contemplatively, switching back to their native tongue. "You think he got it back somehow?"

"With magic? Maybe… but not necessarily. He could have hidden it from everyone." Ed turned to Dumbledore. "What about the way he transmutes? Can he do it without a circle?"

"Without a circle?" Albus repeated, instantly intrigued. "That is possible?"

"Guess not, then…" Ed tapped his chin thoughtfully and addressed his brother in Amestrian. "Either he's very careful, or he didn't do it. But if it's the latter, how does he know about Truth? It doesn't make sense…"

"One of his students, maybe…?" Al offered.

"I'm pretty sure they're all dead, Al. Most people don't survive Human Transmutation. There's a reason why the Homunculi couldn't find five ready Sacrifices before the Promised Day."

"That's a good point… Perhaps Truth takes into account what kind of people open the Gate, or their motivation? You, me and Teacher wanted to bring a family member back… dad didn't have a choice, nor the General."

Ed made a weird face. "When you say it like that, you make it sound as if Truth was easy on us."

"Well…" Al trailed off. "…okay, maybe not, but at least we didn't die. I think Truth let us live for a reason."

"So what you're saying is, Nicolas lived for a reason, too?"

Al nodded. "He is still alive, after all." Then he grimaced. "Hopefully…"

Right, they were back at square one. They couldn't be sure of anything unless they spoke with the man himself – and Truth knows where he was now, or if he was still among the living.

Albus Dumbledore waited patiently until the two alchemist finished their conversation. Mere observation of their reactions to his story provided the Headmaster more information than he had hoped. Slowly but gradually, he was piecing the puzzle together. As he had feared, it did not make a happy picture.

Still, he needed more evidence to confirm his theory. He would need to be patient before he could get all the answers.

"Well!" he spoke cheerfully, gathering the attention of the other two. "Would you look at that, it's almost lunchtime! I'm sure you're hungry so I won't be keeping you any longer." He smiled warmly at the Elrics. "Welcome to the Hogwarts' staff, Professor Edward Elric and Professor Alphonse Elric," he addressed them cheerfully as the brothers blinked in unison, like they just remembered why they'd been called to the Headmaster's office in the first place. "Let me know when you decide what your class shall be called. I'll be seeing you at the next faculty meeting."

Ed didn't try to hide his bewilderment. "That's it? No paperwork or anything?"

"Oh, I'll have a paper for you to sign later, don't worry. I just like to keep things simple." The Professor winked. "This isn't Ministry of Magic, after all. Your spoken agreement is good enough for me."

Mustang would love this place, Ed thought.

"We would like to know the details though, Professor, if you don't mind," said Alphonse. "The working hours, payment, insurance… things like that."

The old wizard paused. "You two are something else, aren't you?" Al made a confused face, but Dumbledore smiled approvingly at him. "I'll have it all prepared by tomorrow."

Al smiled back. "Thank you, Headmaster, sir."

They headed to the exit, but just as they were about to leave, Dumbledore called: "Wait, one last thing, Alphonse."

"Yes?"

"Did Professor Snape show you the dungeons yet? His Potions classroom?"

"Uuuh…" Al looked at Ed frantically. The older brother quickly took over:

"He offered, but we declined."

"Why's that, Edward?"

"We weren't interested."

"You weren't? But if I remember what Minerva told me correctly, your brother seemed very interested in the art of potion-making."

Al sweated nervously. "Oh, uh, well-! We just didn't want to bother him…"

"Nonsense! I'm sure Professor Snape would love to share his teaching subject with you. It wouldn't be any problem at all." The twinkle in the Professor's eyes became alike to a prankster, scheming his ultimate trap. "Also, it'd be good for both of you to get to know your co-workers a little better, wouldn't it?"

Ed and Al exchanged helpless looks. It seemed there was no way to get out of this.

"Uh… Okay then, that would be... nice, I guess?" Al said politely.

"Bonding time with Snape, hurray…" Ed remarked in a dull voice. "Are we dismissed?"

"Yes, that's all. Enjoy your lunch."

"We will," said Al and they finally left the office.

"You see what that geezer is doing?" Ed huffed unhappily. "He wants to give his spy an opportunity to pry information out of us!"

"At least he doesn't hide it," Al pointed out. "He's not doing it behind our backs, Brother. I think he really wants to make up for not telling us about the time difference."

"I still don't trust him."

"Me neither, not fully anyway, but be reasonable Brother. I don't believe that he's a bad man. I think he's a lot like the General. He seems to care about his people. Even Professor Snape defended him – he's not exactly the type to give false praises about a superior he doesn't like."

Ed opened his mouth to counter his argument, but his closed it as he silently admitted that Al was making a very good point. Snape was the last person in this castle to exaggerate the Headmaster's positive traits and as far as they could tell, he hadn't been acting in front of them.

"Fine," he finally said. "But seriously, why did that crazy old man pick Snape of all people? I mean… he's so…" He struggled for the right words.

"…withdrawn?" Al semi-asked with an awkward expression.

Ed raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. "That's one way to put it. I was going to say 'greasy'."

"I wonder what his classes are like…" The younger Elric wondered aloud.

A wild grin appeared on Ed's face. "I bet he loves tormenting his students, he's just the right type. Hey, maybe he could give me some pointers!"

"Brother!"

Mundungus Fletcher was leaning on the wall, newspaper covering his lap as he napped on the sidewalk.

This job was tedious as hell, but at least old Dumbledore paid him well. All he needed to do was to sit in front of the huge, lone mansion and watch out if anybody's approaching. Although sitting there every day, for several hours, for two full months, was getting old. Mundungus wished he could just do something more interesting – not too exhausting, though. Just not as boring as this.

'CRACK!'

With the scrawny wizard's mind snoozing peacefully, he barely registered the loud noise that suddenly rang through the air. Growling in irritation under his breath, he snapped one bloodshot muddy-brown eye open, to see what caused the disturbance of his nap.

As soon as he did, he stiffened in surprise. Next he sat up abruptly and quickly rubbed his eyes, only to make sure it wasn't just another image created by excessive amounts of firewhiskey.

But no, they were still there – people. Two people, to be exact. A man and a woman. They looked young, somewhere in their twenties. Too occupied with each other to notice him, they spoke to one another affectionately as they headed to the gate and entered through it.

Fletcher jumped to his feet and ran to the gate, staring at the couple who casually strode through the lawn surrounding the mansion. The woman pulled out a wand from her pocket and flicked, opening the magically-protected door with ease. The pair exchanged smiled and disappeared into the building.

Finally, Mundungus snapped out of his stupor and pulled out his own wand. With a quick turn, he quickly apparated with a loud crack.

Author's Note:

Yes, the next chapter's going to be special! (And hopefully much sooner than THIS one… I apologize, I know it's been ridiculously long :/) The confrontation we've all been waiting for… along with some answers. I hope you're excited!

Sorry for the delay, I stated in my last "My Master Ed" chapter I would post this SOON. Like the next day or something. Well, that was the original plan, but unfortunately, I had equipment problems (again), had to paint some walls, walk 25 kilometers on foot and wash a fridge… yes, a fridge. Have you ever washed one that hadn't been cleaned in like a YEAR?! Sweet Mercy, I never want to do that again, it took me like four hours straight…

…anyyyway, hopefully the long wait had paid off. Everybody loves Snape after all, right? He's going to be quite important in this story. I think. But just wait till Lockhart shows up, it's going to be hilarious, but not in the way you're expecting! I shall surprise you, huahahaha!

You might have noticed that I changed May Chang's name spelling from "Mei" some time ago. Well, I thought about it and realized that most sources use "May", while "Mei" refers to "Xiao-Mei", May's panda. So I corrected it.

Some of you might be confused about the whole deal with Edward and Alphonse teaching. NO, they won't be teaching alchemy. Not directly anyway. I decided that since alchemy is such a complicated science, there was no way in hell it could be taught to teenage wizard kids. I know it happens in all of the other fanfics, but it just doesn't make sense. Alchemy needs to be taught individually and only the most open-minded, brilliant people are able get it. As wizards are extremely close-minded, there's just no way it would work. Ed wouldn't want to teach alchemy, anyway – it would make the whole responsibility with power thing hypocritical on his part.

Also, I didn't want Dumbledore to just walk out and say: "Hey! I just met you guys and I have no idea who you are, please teach Alchemy in my school!" Some stories begin that way and I just want to say, Dumbledore would never do something like that. He wouldn't hire a teacher he didn't trust unless he had absolutely no choice (Lockhart, Umbridge). I wanted to make circumstances believable this time around.

I checked official information about alchemy in Hogwarts and it turned out, it's actually supposed to be an available subject for sixth and seventh years. However, it is never stated so in the books nor the movies, the information comes from "Pottermore" and though J. K. Rowling stated it is cannon, I'm disregarding it for various reasons. The main one being, as I already said, that it doesn't make any sense. The only alchemist ever mentioned in the series is Nicolas Flamel. If alchemy was so popular that it was taught in Hogwarts, why would there be only one Philosopher's Stone? Why other wizards couldn't change metals into gold? Shouldn't those achievements be more popular, if alchemists were a common thing? So, to prevent any complications, alchemy is not, nor ever has been, taught at Hogwarts. Sorry, "Pottermore" fans, but I don't deal with nonsense. I'm sticking to the books. If alchemy was available, Hermione would be taking it in her sixth year and it wouldn't be so hard to find books on it in the library.

Anyway, why did I name Ed's wand 'Charlie'? Well, it's a funny story, actually. There's this video series on Youtube called "Charlie the Unicorn". It's completely creepy and hilarious, and my family loves it. Charlie's just so sarcastic and logical while surrounded by pure insanity. We quoted the lines like "Charlieee… we're on a bridge Charlie…!" or "Charlie you defeated the Millipede! – No it exploded, like everything does when it sings to me!" so much that eventually we named our best kitchen knife after him. No, really, we actually named a knife 'Charlie'.

Hahahahaha! Get it? You know, 'cause it's SHARP? Like Charlie?

…okay so maybe that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but neither does the series. I just thought it'd be funny. So from now, on Ed's wand will be called Charlie. All Hail Charlie the Fullwooden Wand!

The joke with Ed's fear being Izumi forcing him to drink milk isn't mine, sadly. I've read it once in a comment section. Though that certainly won't happen in this story, I thought I'd be hilarious to bring it up in a conversation. All credit goes to… 'Guest'? Hey, it's not my fault you didn't write down your name, pal.

I hope you guys liked the humor in this chapter overall :) It is a little over-the-top, but I didn't want things to become too stiff and boring. The plot is coming, and it's going to be awesome.

Filling plot-holes and explaining the unexplained:

1. Thestrals

They are honestly my favorite magical creatures in the whole series. Not do they look like skeletons, horses, bats and reptilians all at the same time (that's freaking awesome!), are carnivorous and can smell blood from miles away like a boss, they're also invisible to all the annoying punks you don't like in the books, because they haven't seen anyone kick the bucket yet. Like, seriously, can you make them cooler in any way?

Oh yeah, and they're also useful! One of the very few magical creatures in this the whole universe that is even remotely practical. Beside house elves, that is. Seriously, with one Thestral and a house elf, you can do anything! The first is a freaking undetectable, flying stallion and the latter an unlimited mana source with no magical restriction that listens to your every command! You could own, like, everybody!

…okay, now seriously.

"Thestrals have jus' got a bad reputation because o' the death thing – people used ter think they were bad omens, didn' they? Jus' didn' understand, did they?" – Hagrid

It is kind of odd, isn't it? Having only people who've seen death to be able to see them. Why would there be such an enchantment on those creatures? Why does their magic hide them from the eyes of the innocent, but not the eyes of the ones who know suffering?

My take on it is that Thestrals, being the ominous-looking creatures they are, shield themselves from those who couldn't comprehend their nature and thus would be terrified by their appearance. Humans would quickly assume the worst (them being horse-demons or such) and try to kill them off. Even wizards are weary of those calm, lustrous-skinned beasts, believing them to bring misfortune, just because they're… "different", as Harry put it. Seeing death isn't the only condition to be able to see them, though.

According to various sources, it's actually acceptance of a witnessed death that enables a person to see Thestrals. That's why, as J. K. Rowling stated, Harry didn't see Thestrals immediately after Cedric Diggory's death at the end of the fourth year, but only after vacation. It was when he came to terms with it. This puts the protective enchantment in a whole different light. It's understanding, real experience of a human being dying, that opens people's mind to the reality. Perhaps that's why only those people are allowed to see Thestrals. Because their existence is strongly connected with death – they feed on flesh after all, not grass, unlike normal horses.

Thestrals have also a lot of magical energy stored inside them. They're not as graceful as unicorns, as destructive as dragons, as powerful as phoenixes, as beautiful as veelas nor as mysterious as kelpies. But it is a hair of a Thestral that was used for the Elder Wand's core. Thestrals are gentle creatures, elusive but loyal, not to mention very intelligent. Thestrals are companions for life and they shouldn't be underestimated. That race was smart enough to choose who they want to be seen by, and the choice was very clever in my opinion.

Yeah. Thestrals are awesome.

Fun fact: Thestrals are an illegal form of transportation for some reason, while broomsticks and chimneys are perfectly fine. Something to do with the "Statute of Secrecy". I always knew wizards were insane, but this is really pushing it.

2. Animagus vs Animal Transfiguration

Animal Transfiguration is not something I'm willing to explain fully just yet. Just remember, wizards can't create life. Magic either makes an illusion of it or summons it from somewhere else.

Still, when a person is turned into an animal with magic (we all remember Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret… the beautiful image shall forever live in all of our memories…), it's not the same as being an Animagus. Not just because the spell is casted on yourself. There are a couple of significant differences in the two techniques.

1) Each wizard possesses only one Animagus form.

It should have been obvious, but it kind of isn't. You could assume that every wizard who learned how to transfigure their body just chose an animal they liked or thought to be useful, then practiced it until they got it. But that's not the case. It's much more like the Patronus.

A Patronus Charm's full form reflect's the caster's identity, whether they're aware what it is or not. It's tied to people perception of themselves. Kind of like a Cutie Mark (…aaand I can believe I just made that reference. Kill me now.) That's why a big emotional change can change a person's Patronus, like it happened with Tonks when she fell in love with Remus. People can change, and so their own self-perception.

While an Animagus can never change his or her form, a big inner reform could potentially render the ability useless, though not necessarily forever. It depends on the individual, though.

2) Wand isn't necessary for the spell reversal.

A skilled Animagus is perfectly capable of reversing the spell without one. Otherwise, it would be pretty hard for Animagi whose forms don't have fingers or are too small to hold a wand, like Rita Skeeter. A master Animagus can learn to cast the spell on their own too, like Sirius Black, but that's pretty rare.

Still, rare doesn't mean impossible. I shall cover the topic of wandless magic another time.

3) An Animagus keeps his mind intact while he's in animal form.

Even though a person's humanity isn't gone completely while they're transfigured, the mind is overwhelmed by the animal body and instincts, making them less self-aware and unable to control themselves. Animagi on the other hand, are in complete control of their thoughts and actions. They can chose to give in to their instincts and behave like their respective animals, but they're able to reason like a human, not a beast.

That's why Sirius can act like a puppy while he's a dog, but at the same times understands human speech (even if his animal anatomy doesn't allow him to talk back). Having animal instincts is very beneficial for an Animagus. A wizard who turns into a bird, for instance, can fly much easier that way. Animals with magical abilities, or high level of intelligence, can easily recognize Animagi though. Not just by their behavior, but their general presence – like Crookshangs.

That's the reason why all Animagi must be registries – because they can't be detected by usual magical means, like "Homenum Revelio". Animagi are technically animals while transfigured, after all. This helped Sirius Black escape from Azkaban, it was a serious oversight (pun intended) on their part. They assumed that the overwhelming unhappiness would drain all the prisoners of all will to escape, which was partly correct, but once that effect was nullified, all a person needed to do was sneak past the Dementors. And for an Animagus, that's easy as pie.

3. Metamorphmagus

"Metamorphmagi are born, not made." – Nymphadora Tonks

Metamorphmagus is a witch or a wizard who possesses the ability to change their appearance at will. They tend to change their looks depending on their emotional state. For example, Nymphadora (auch auch AUCH! Cut it out, will ya?! I'll call you 'Tonks', okay?! Geez, woman…) ehem, Tonks had her hair turn red when she was getting angry. Also, high emotional stress could temporarily render the ability useless, just like with Animagi.

While there are no limits mentioned in the books, I came to a couple of conclusions. First, Metamorphmagus can change the outer appearance, but not the entire anatomy. So instance, they can't become an animal. Second, the conservation of mass is present to at least an extent. Tonks wouldn't be able to become tiny as a spec, or huge as a mountain. The last would be that it's limited by knowledge and imagination.

It means that while it's technically possible for a Metamorphmagus to look exactly like another person, it's extremely difficult to do. Polyjuice Potion copies the person in perfect detail, including inner anatomy. But Metamorphmagi, in order to turn into someone else, would have to know everything about their appearance.

Envy's transformation abilities lied somewhere between the two. Envy was limited by conversation of mass, but could change the volume of his(?) body drastically. While mimicking other's appearance was easy for him, he could make mistakes (like with Maria Ross). A Metamorphmagus is like a very inexperienced, cheaper version of a Homunculus, minus the regeneration abilities. Also, Envy wasn't as easily affected by his emotions.

However, there's one more thing I want to mention here. Unknown to wizards, Metamorphmagi have special abilities for a reason. We know that it's inherited, as Tonks' son was one too. But where did it come from?

Well, remember when I said that humans can breed with some magical creatures? Well, the first Metamorphmagus was a result of such event. The mixed gened that gives the ability is recessive though, that's why Metamorphmagi are such rarity. While wizards themselves can't remember what was the first Metamorphamus' ancestor was, I suppose it had to be a shapeshifter, like a Leshy (a forest spirit that turns into plants, from Sloviac mythology) or a Selkie (a mermaid-like creature that turns into a seal, from Irish mythology).

In the next entry of "Filling plot-holes and explaining the unexplained": Gryffindor's Sword. Any more suggestions? Please put them in your reviews.

Thank you so much for so many views, guys! Once again, I'm sorry it's been so insanely long, I truly am. If you've read my Author's Note in the last "My Master Ed" chapter, you surely know the reasons. But can you imagine that my friends still accuse me of spending way too much time on writing! I can't help it though, I just looove it! :D

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