Chapter 10.
Lowan.
Surveying the small circle of men, I regarded each of them in turn. I saw brave looks on their faces, forcibly masking the fear and anxiety running rampant behind their eyes. These men had been thru all this many times before. The slow tightening of the gut, that pulsing, electric fire coursing thru your veins nonstop, that biting anticipation that gnaws at your senses like a rabid womprat on glitterstim. All this, intimately familiar.
But it never goes away. Ask any battle-hardened veteran over a cheap mug of lum in a seedy cantina, and they'll tell you. 'They never go away, nerves.' And if they ever did, you wouldn't want them to. Nerves will keep you alive. Without them, self-preservation suddenly doesn't mean that much. Adrenaline is a swirling maelstrom of unfocused energy. You can either use it to your advantage or get caught up in the undertow, failing to act at the last crucial moment.
Knowing the years of training and experience these men had had, it was a good bet that when the moment came, they wouldn't choke and die on me. But who knew, really? Only the Force, I suppose. At least I knew I could count on one man, a fellow Jedi and one of my best friends in the galaxy, Zevan L'oht. Even considering the near-impossible mission we'd embarked upon, I felt a whole lot surer knowing Zee was by my side. We've been thru a lot together since this war began almost two years ago, and although we haven't always agreed, we've stuck together as a team and stayed alive.
I took a long, slow sip from my caf and set it down on the small, circular dining table in the freighter's crewman's lounge. Then at the press of a button, a bluish, holographic battle plan emitted from a projector in the center, coalescing about a half meter above it. "Gents, this is it. We're set to rendezvous with the Yuuzhan Vong worldship in half an hour. You all know the plan already, but I'm gonna go over it again just to make sure we're all on the same page.
"Okay, so when we drop out of hyperspace we'll be on the far edge of the system, well away from the large, Vong task force that will most likely surround the worldship itself. Jedi L'oht will fly us in and, with any luck, down to the ship unnoticed. I know most of you probably consider a maneuver like this to be crazy, if not downright suicidal, but trust me. Jedi Aces have been known to pull off miraculous feats with a starship in the past, and Zee here is no exception. We'll be fine.
"Once we've boarded the worldship, I will lead a team of four further into the ship to locate Officer Hartigan and the others. The rest of you will remain with Zee in the hangar and guard the freighter until our return. You have all been fitted with top of the line, long-range, encrypted comlinks, so we'll be in constant contact throughout this entire mission. When we have recovered the package, we will retreat from the system with all speed. Team 1 is Riley, Johnson, Sheckil, and Bertrand. Pettri and Saper, you're Team 2. Okay, that's pretty much the long and short of it. Any questions, people?"
"Sir, exactly how big is this worldship thing anyway?"
"I wish I knew, Sheckil. At this point, we don't have any specifics on that, but according to Marv's sensor readings, we can assume this thing is at least five times bigger than the Death Star," I answered reluctantly. Silence. Heavy and oppressive. Then I heard a foreboding whistle from Bertrand across the table. He shook his head doubtfully. Stang, that could've come out a lot better.
"So, uh, sir," asked Pettri with a conspiring grin, "if this thing is that huge, how do you expect a team of four troops led by a wet-behind-the-ears Jedi Master to find one man on this giant, hunk of rock in anything less than a month, much less have the ammo to fend off the hundreds of warriors who would surely like nothing more than to slice us all from neck to nuts and wear our intestines for a hat?"
"Hundreds? Ha! Try thousands, man," chortled Saper, to my left. I did my best to keep a neutral expression and ignore their challenging jabs. I was used to people questioning my authority based solely on my youth and consequently assumed lack of experience. The jokes always stopped when they finally saw me in action. Then they showed a little more respect, usually combined with a mix of awe and confusion. I wasn't worried.
Riley looked up from cleaning his blaster rifle long enough to fix me with a thoughtful, somber stare. "But seriously, sir," he said, "what makes you think we have a chance in Kessel of finding this guy?" The young, broad-shouldered soldier looked at me, a fragile glimmer of hope flickering in his big, blue eyes. Judging by his pleading expression, it wasn't hard to guess his real question. 'Do we even have half a chance of getting out of this thing alive?' This kid was looking to me to be their rock, their proverbial pillar of strength and steadiness. Well then, I guess that's just what I'll have to be.
"Listen, Riley," I said with what I hoped came off as complete confidence, "Marv and I have been friends for a long time. I'll be able to sense him in the Force from a kilometer away." Another derisive snort from Bertrand. "Besides, uh, it's standard CorSec procedure to tune your comlink to broadcast on all emergency frequencies within range." Come on, Sabacc-face, don't fail me now.
I waited a few tense heartbeats. The young soldier nodded, apparently satisfied. "Okay, any more questions?" I threw a challenging glance toward Bertrand. The big man sighed, leaning back from the table and turning away disinterestedly. "Good. Make any last-minute equipment checks and proceed to battle stations. Right, men. Dismissed."
The troops stood slowly, exiting the cramped confines of the crewman's lounge in their own time. Zee stretched his arms above his head and leaned back in his chair with an exaggerated yawn. He looked at me with a smug grin on his face.
"Well, that went well now, didn't it there, chief? Y'know, I think they're really starting to respect your authority as commander of this operation," he said, just dripping sarcasm.
"Thanks, Zee. I think I've gotten my fair share of sarcastic comments already from Pettri. I can handle this," I replied, trying not to sound too defensive.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows casually on the table. "Oh, come on, buddy. I'm just kidding. Don't worry about those blaster-toting, New Rep. apes. They give you any more trouble, you can just remind 'em that General Antilles okayed this mission personally. If any of them have any problems, they can take 'em up with him."
"Humph, I wouldn't exactly call that my idea of fun," I replied bemusedly. Then I sighed to myself. "But I can't help thinking they have a point. I mean, we're going into this thing blind, with no idea how long it'll take and only a vague semblance of anything that could even remotely be called a plan. I mean, I'm a Corellian, and even I'm starting to worry about the odds."
He gave me an appraising look. "You know what, my friend? This is gonna sound really weird coming from me for once, but in the words of a very good friend of mine, 'Trust the Force', nerf herder!" The blunt remark snapped me out of my stress-induced, self-doubt with a wry grin.
I chuckled softly to myself then said, "Y'know, Zee? I truly don't believe I could've put that better. Thanks."
He spread his arms wide and said, "Technically, you did, for the most part anyway. I think I embellished it a tad. But hey, 's what I'm here for, buddy." We shared a brief, tender moment between us. "So," he said awkwardly, "we should probably get ourselves ready. Are you sure you're feeling up to this?"
"Whether I am or not, I don't really have a choice now, Zee. But yes, I'm feeling much better now, thank you. Still a little queasy from the poison, but I'll live." He nodded in friendly satisfaction and stretched again. As he got up to leave, I added, "Oh and, Zee? Remember to change into your dress robes."
"And, uh, why, exactly?" he asked over his shoulder.
"Psychological warfare, buddy. Intelligence tells us the Vong really hate us Jedi. And what emotion is closely linked to hate? Fear." He shot me a quizzical look. I sighed, exasperated. "It'll throw 'em off their game."
"Uh-huh. Kay, so why am I wearing them? I'll be on the ship, right?"
"Right," I conceded. "But what do you think happens when we finally come running?" I asked.
"Uh, I jump out and play 'distraction boy' until you guys mount up, so we can all get the kriff out of there," he answered, suddenly wearing that familiar, self-satisfied grin on his perpetually boyish face.
I nodded, offering a sly, half-smile of my own. "Bingo."