Chapter Ten

"Really, Mom, there is no reason for you to fly all the way to California. I'm fine." Sheldon had spent the last fifteen minutes trying to convince his mother not to waste her time coming to check on him. The crisis was over. Mary, on the other hand, was anxious to make sure for herself that her baby boy was on the mend.

"Now Shelly, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't come and take care of you? You're gonna need help once you are released from the hospital." She was tired from her journey through Mexico and hated the idea of more traveling, but she still wanted to see her son.

"The kind who is smart enough to listen when her genius son says it isn't necessary."

"Sheldon Cooper, don't you go throwing your big brain up at me. And don't think that you having a higher IQ means you're smarter than me."

"Um … that's exactly what it means," Sheldon said, exasperated.

"And don't sass me!" Mary snapped. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't come up there and make sure you're okay."

"How about because I'm a grown man."

Mary snorted. "Are you now? When did this happen?" Sheldon could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Now who's being sassy?" Sheldon muttered grumpily.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I know you are in pain and I shouldn't be making fun of you. But you still haven't given me a reason not to come."

"How about Meemaw?" he ventured. "I spoke to her a little while ago and she needs you more than I do."

"Bull!" Mary said. "Missy can take care of your grandmother and you know it. Now tell me the real reason you don't want me to come or I'm gonna hop on the next plane outta Houston."

Sheldon struggled with how much he wanted to tell his mother. He didn't want to give her the wrong idea, and he definitely didn't want to talk about his relationship with Amy. But he didn't see any other way. He finally relented with a dramatic sigh.

"Amy will help me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

His confession was met with silence from the other end of the phone. The wait seemed endless, but was really only a few seconds.

"I see," Mary said simply, but Sheldon could hear the smugness in her voice. He shook his head in agitation, but remained silent.

"So you want me to stay away so Amy will be forced to take care of you. Is that it?"

"Pretty much."

"I thought you two broke up," Mary said. "What makes you so sure she's willing. She's not there right now is she?"

"No ma'am. She went to get me some comic books to read while I am recuperating. But she has been here the whole time," he added.

As if on cue, Amy burst through the door, red-faced and out of breath. She was just about to speak when she noticed Sheldon was on the phone. So she waited in the doorway, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Her obvious excitement intrigued Sheldon, who motioned her forward.

"My mother," he mouthed, rolling his eyes. Amy nodded and sat down in the chair next to his bed. Even as she sat, she couldn't keep from bouncing her knees up and down. She was anxious to discuss with Sheldon what she had found in his room.

"So are we agreed?" Sheldon said, his voice pleading with Mary to go along with his plan.

"Okay," Mary relented. "I'm dead on my feet anyway. So I won't come right away. Especially if you think you can patch things up with Amy. But if your plan doesn't work, I'm coming. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, baby. You know I only want you to be happy, right?"

"I know. And I'm working on it."

"Good. Keep us posted, Shelly, or we will all be coming to Pasadena." Mary's words were threatening, but her tone was light.

"I will. Bye, Mom."

"Bye baby."

Sheldon placed his phone on the bed beside him and gave his full attention to Amy.

"So, where are they?" he asked, looking at Amy's empty lap.

"What?"

"The comic books," he said, shaking his head. "Honestly, Amy, how could you have forgotten so quickly?"

"I didn't really forget," Amy hedged, suddenly nervous about her confession. "I sort of got sidetracked." And totally swept off my feet, you romantic fool. Just when I thought I couldn't love you more.

Sheldon did a double take. What did she mean? And why was she grinning at him like that? As she went over the list in her mind, it was as if Sheldon could hear her reading it. He still didn't understand why he was hearing her thoughts. Surely it had all been a dream. Right?

"Amy? What did you do?" The blush creeping up his cheeks told Amy he already suspected what she had done. Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad. She repeated it in her head like a mantra while she gathered the courage to look him in the eye. This had gone so much smoother when she rehearsed it in the car on the way over.

"I was in your room picking out the books you wanted, but they were too high on the shelf. Some of us aren't giants," she added with a smirk. "So I brought the tray to your bed so I could browse through them without any bending or creasing." She stopped to be sure he caught that because she thought she deserved brownie points for her thoughtfulness.

"I appreciate that," he said with a nod. "Go on."

"Well, when I sat on your bed – which was unmade by the way. I don't think I have ever seen your room in such disarray." She felt the urge to apologize for blindsiding him with that awful Skype session, but she didn't want him to remember how she had hurt him.

Sheldon looked away from her. "It is not typical. In fact, I have not left my bed unmade – not once - since I was four years old. At least not until …" his voice trailed off. He looked up at her as he finished, his eyes both challenging her to remember and begging her to forget. "Anyway, back to what you were saying. You were sitting on my bed … and then what?"

Amy leaned forward to get closer to him. "I sat on what turned out to be a legal pad." She waited for him to acknowledge what she'd found, but he continued to stare at her mutely. The dread that was rising inside him did not show on his face. "It was a list of reasons you need me," she said shyly.

"Amy!"

"Please don't be mad. I didn't mean to see it, but once I did, how could I not read it?" Her eyes were pleading. "I had no idea you felt that way about me," she began.

"But Amy, how could you-"

"I had to, Sheldon," she interrupted. Once I started, it was so beautiful … I just couldn't stop." Her voice broke on the word beautiful, fading to a mere whisper. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I just couldn't stop. I couldn't stop," she repeated, once again pleading with him to understand.

Sheldon reached for her hand. When she took his, he pulled her closer until she was sitting on the edge of his bed. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as he spoke.

"Amy, I'm not upset that you read the list. Now that does not mean I am giving you free reign to go rifling through my possessions," he added hastily. "But the list was always meant for you. I am, however, bothered that you were so shocked by it. How many times have I told you that I love you? Why won't you believe me?"

Amy looked down at their joined hands. "I do believe you love me, Sheldon. But that list went a lot deeper than that. To be honest, it was deeper than I thought you were capable of going." She squeezed his hand when he looked offended. "Come on now, you know you aren't the most emotional man on the planet. That list was the most romantic, hippy-dippy thing I have ever seen. You can't blame me for being surprised that it came from you, nor that it was directed at me."

Sheldon nodded. "I guess. But I want to change all of that, Amy. Yes, it is hard for me to express my emotions, but that does not mean I don't have them. I do have them, and I want to share them with you. I just don't know how."

Amy smiled. "This says otherwise." She pulled out her phone, Found the screen she wanted, and handed it to him.

"You took pictures?" Now it was Sheldon's turn to be shocked.

"You bet your ass I did," Amy laughed. "I want to read those words every day to remind me how you feel about me."

"I hope you won't need to be reminded," he said sadly. Then he shocked Amy again by reading the list aloud. Hearing those words coming from him brought a wave of fresh tears. She closed her eyes as his soft, sexy voice washed over her, giving her the words she had waited so long for.

When he was finished, he looked at her shyly. "I'm sorry that you didn't know all of this, Amy. I'm just not good at this romance stuff."

"On the contrary," Amy said with a wink. "You just unseated Leonard as the Romance Ninja!"

Sheldon chuckled. "I did?" He shrugged arrogantly. "I don't know why I am so surprised, I excel at so many things," he added, returning her wink.

Amy laughed and edged closer to him. "Indeed you do." I can't wait to see what else you excel at.

Sheldon cleared his throat, her thoughts making him blush.

"Are you blushing?" Amy asked, her suspicion aroused.

Embarrassed, he shook his head in denial. He considered telling her that he knew exactly what she was thinking, but decided against it. He changed the subject instead.

"So, what does that mean for us?" he asked.

Amy was charmed by his blushing, but decided to let him off the hook. "It means that I no longer need space. In fact, I never want to be separated from you again." She ran her fingers gently up the inside of his arm to the elbow and back again. She knew she was taking liberties, but he didn't seem to mind. Or maybe he had not noticed. Either way, she wanted to touch him, so she took a chance.

"I don't want to run anymore, Sheldon." She looked into his eyes, expecting to see joy, but she saw something else instead: fear. A feeling of dread settled in her stomach. She inched away from him, but he pulled her back. When she stopped tracing a path up his arm, he looked to where her fingers had been and raised his arm slightly off the bed, urging her to continue. When she resumed her ministrations, he spoke.

"You hurt me, Amy. And worse, you made me question everything I thought I knew. I broke all my rules for you. And I have never done that for anyone." His voice was firm, but not unkind. He was not accusing her; he just needed her to know how he felt. "I let you into my life; into my heart. You became my spot. My 0-0-0-0. And then you just left without even telling me why. I know the reasons were obvious to you, but they weren't to me."

Amy nodded solemnly. "I know, Sheldon." A tear that was once a happy one began to slide down her cheek. "I had valid reasons for what I did. You said you didn't know how to tell me how you felt. I guess I had the same problem." She looked up when he squeezed her hand. "I guess we both thought we were communicating, when in fact we were both just being stubborn."

"Stubborn?" Sheldon's brow creased as he digested her words. The thoughts were running through her head too fast for him to keep up with, but the feelings of sadness and desperation that she felt were coming through loud and clear. It made him feel like the worst boyfriend in the world.

"Sure," Amy said. "We both blamed the other for not knowing what we were thinking. But neither of us bothered to voice our feelings. At least not well enough for the other to understand."

"Who would ever have thought that poor communication would be our downfall?" Sheldon said, shaking his head. "So much for our 8.2 on the Relationship Closeness Inventory. Looks like Bersheid, Snyder and Omoto are just a bunch of witch doctors peddling lies."

"Now don't be hasty. I bet if we took it now, after all we've been through, we would do even better."

Sheldon's grin turned into a grimace as he gingerly moved over to make room for Amy beside him. "Get up here, Woman, and let's show those witch doctors what we are made of."

As gently as possible, Amy snuggled in beside Sheldon. With her head on his shoulder, she took his phone and found the test. When he lightly placed his free arm on her back, she sighed in contentment and kissed him on the cheek. "Let's do this, Cuddles!"

After celebrating their 9.6 score with a chaste kiss, Amy settled back against Sheldon. "I wish we had just talked to each other sooner," she said. "Look at all the heartache we could have avoided."

"Well," Sheldon mused, "maybe. But then we wouldn't be where we are right now, and I wouldn't trade that for anything." He emphasized his point by wrapping his arm around her waist and squeezing her gently.

"You mean here, in this hospital bed?" she teased. "Or are you talking about our score?"

She felt his breathy laugh blow softly against her skin. "Both! Besides, I am a scientist. I don't believe in wishes and all that nonsense."

Amy poked him in the chest. "Just a minute, mister. I am a scientist too, and I have tossed a lot of pennies into a lot of fountains over the years, hoping my wish would come true."

"And did it?"

"Are you kidding? You, of all people, should know that it did."

Sheldon pulled away so he could look into her eyes. "Why me?"

"Because you, my beautiful, brilliant boyfriend, are the embodiment of all of my wishes. And far beyond what I dared to dream. Between our 9.6 relationship," she added, pleased when he smiled at their score, "and the friends that came along as part of the bargain, I hit the jackpot!"

"Haven't I been telling you that for the last five years?" he said, his voice rising.

Amy laughed. "We're gonna have to do something about that ego of yours. But for now, you need your rest. Why don't you take a little nap?"

"A nap? How am I supposed to sleep with you lying so close to me?"

Amy slid off the bed and resumed her place in the chair. "We both know that's not true, but it is sweet of you to say." She gave him a quick kiss, thrilled inside when he leaned toward her as she tried to break it and kissed her again.

"It's truer than you think, Vixen," Sheldon whispered. Amy's joy was bittersweet for him. He was glad that something as simple as a smile and a kiss could make her so happy, but also saddened by the fact that it took so little effort from him. And yet he had failed her for so long. He vowed he would never fail her again as he drifted off to sleep.

Amy sat in the chair watching him with tears in her eyes, wondering if the even realized he was once again reciting the list of reasons he needed her, this time from memory.