Disclaimer: I do not own the Young Riders; never have and never will...though, a girl can dream :)

A/N: Now that their difficult and dangerous mission has been successfully completed, Buck and Lou are due for some well-deserved R and R. But before

anything else, they will be riding to Red Bear's village, as he requested they do. And who knows what may happen...? I think this chapter will be an

interesting mix; hang on for a little fluff, a little smut of the tender loving kind, and a little of the mystical. My Muse made me promise to not divulge

any more than that for the time being...So, please do read on and let me know what you think! Your comments and reviews are soul food of the best

kind :)

I awoke sometime while the night was still dark and dawn was far off. I had sensed I was alone, and I was right: Buck wasn't in the bed beside me. Throwing the covers back, I stood and looked around the room, then out on the balcony. Buck had pulled on his pants and was standing outside; he seemed to be scanning the street and the horizon. I pulled the chamber pot out from under the bed and quickly relieved myself. Seeing that Buck was coming back inside, I got back into bed and sat up, hugging my knees.

Buck pulled the door closed again and, turning the key, locked it securely. He came over to the bedside and turned the lamp down low. Seeing that I was awake, he left some light burning before taking off his pants and getting back into bed beside me.

"I'm sorry I woke you" he said, pulling up the blankets. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine...I guess I knew you'd gotten up and wondered if you were all right" I said. "I got up for the same reason you probably did."

"Oh" he said with his crooked grin. "I can't get back to sleep unless I get up and take care of things. Have you been able to sleep all right?"

"Yes...I thought I'd be having nightmares about the attack but I was too tired to even dream." I smoothed his hair back from his face and kissed his slightly stubbled cheek. "I sleep better with you holding me."

Buck chuckled almost inaudibly. "I sleep soundly when I'm with you, Lou. I'd never been able to sleep through the night, until that overnighter to Laramie...that was the first time I can ever remember sleeping through the night."

"Mmmm...I put you to sleep" I teased gently, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm flattered."

"You also keep me awake" he chided, pulling me down beside him. A large warm hand found my breast and cradled it lovingly. I chuckled softly. "What?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"Your hands" I explained. "They're so big and calloused, but so loving and gentle. You have beautiful hands, Buck."

He gave me one of those rare smiles that made my heart melt and my stomach drop. "You're a beautiful woman, Lou" he whispered in my ear.

I snorted softly. "Me...I'm just flat plain little Lou McLeod who dresses and talks and acts like a boy. Sometimes I think I AM a boy."

Buck moved in and kissed me on the mouth, his tongue finding its way inside and stroking mine. "You're all woman, Lou. Don't ever doubt that. Whenever I see you I just want to drop everything and take you right there. Makes things awkward sometimes."

I snorted again as a picture grew in my mind of Buck trying to get on his horse in that state. "I can see how that might be true" I laughed. I pulled him down on top of me. "At least I don't have anything that shows on the outside."

"Ike's started calling me 'Rutting Buck' " Buck said dryly.

"I like it" I said, running my tongue along the outside of his ear. "You could take me here, where there's no one to see." He grinned and I let my hands wander all over his body, listened to him sigh, smiled when he moaned as I touched a certain place. He leaned up on his forearms and rested himself in the cradle of my open legs and kissed me long and slow and deep. I wrapped my arms around his warm smooth back and kissed him with abandon; before I knew it, Buck was thrusting into me, gently at first and then with more speed and power. I heard moaning and realized that it was me making those noises, the sounds of a woman experiencing deep pleasure. I hitched up my legs and Buck thrust deep and hard. My hips rose up off the bed and held him as his body stiffened and shuddered.

Afterwards, we rose with one accord; we knew we had a journey to make and couldn't linger. I washed quickly at the washstand and combed my messy hair. Buck didn't have time to shave; he settled for washing up and combing his hair. We quickly pulled on the cleanest of the clothing we had, gathered up our saddlebags, and headed downstairs. Buck went on ahead to the livery to alert the stableboy to have our horses ready in twenty minutes and I ordered breakfast for both of us.

We had the restaurant to ourselves; the sky was still dark, the street outside quiet. The bartender's sleepy wife served us freshly brewed coffee that smelled and tasted like heaven, fried eggs, bacon, and toasted bread. We ate quickly and quietly, thankful that neither the barkeep nor his wife was feeling talkative. I was beginning to feel apprehensive about going to the Kiowa village.

I hadn't really had a chance to think about it the previous evening, but now I began to wonder what awaited us. I was glad of the invitation for Buck's sake - I knew how much this meant to him. But I had never had any dealings with Indians and what little I knew of their ways I had learned from Buck. I remembered Ike's ordeal with the Kiowa of Red Bear's village, how they had held him captive and shown him no mercy. Still, I guessed that they wanted us for peaceful purposes since they had been scouting the Green River for some time and not attacked, only intervening when Buck and I had been attacked by the Confederates.

Finishing our meal, we paid and left a handsome tip for the barkeep's wife who had had to rise early to serve us; I hoped she was able to go back to bed and sleep a while longer. We rode out of town, following the Green River north. The sun rose in about an hour and a half, and I thought of Rock Creek and home, of the fellas doing chores in the barn and Cody riding off on the early run, of Rachel cooking a big hot breakfast. I realized right then that I finally had what I'd always wanted in my life: a sense of friendship and more, a sense of family. I glanced to my right and smiled to myself, at the realization that I also had the greatest thing of all, someone who loved me no matter what, in spite of my short fuse and stubborn streak and all my other flaws. I loved this other misfit, this handsome man, quietly stubborn and prone to fits of insecurity and black silences when provoked. We were as unlike as two people could be, yet this seemed to work in our favour and I was content with that. I dared to wonder what would become of us, what would happen to us when the Pony Express ended as we all knew it would with the telegraph slowly but surely moving westward. Would our odd little family stay together in Rock Creek, finding other work; would we each go our different ways in the world, never to see one another again?

That thought shook me to my very core, frightened me deeply. We couldn't let that happen; I could not let that happen! We were all we really had in the world. The thought of losing Teaspoon, the only real father I'd ever known; of losing Ike, my sweet, gentle brother; of Kid and Noah, Jimmy and Cody, my cantankerous and sometimes annoying but loyal brothers; of Rachel, my wise older sister and confidante - the thought of losing any of them was a death blow to my heart. And, I wondered what I myself would do once the Express came to an end - would I have saved up enough money to get Jeremiah and Theresa out of the orphanage? If I had, what would we do then, where would we go? I would still need to work to continue to support us all. What work could I, as a woman, find that would supply enough to live on? My mind reeled; though stunned with the realization of the responsibility, I was glad that I'd at least begun to think of planning for the future.

Twitch stopped suddenly and neighed; beside us Blink also stopped. In the near distance I could see the outlines of tipis, the smoke from cooking fires. Looking off at it, a shiver ran through me, and Buck looked at me.

"Don't be afraid" he said quietly and I realized that, although they were hidden from view, we were surrounded by Kiowa sentries. "My brother and his people will not harm us."

I looked at Buck; his expression was one of quiet anticipation. I decided to ask him that which had been on my mind.

"Why has Red Bear asked us to come, Buck? Why both of us, and not just you?"

Buck thought for a moment before answering me. He shifted in his saddle and tipped his hat back slightly before turning to me.

"I've thought about it too, Lou. I can't be absolutely certain, I can only guess. And my guess is that Red Bear or the shaman of his village has had dreams or visions concerning us. Both you and me. I guessed that that was why they had been watching the Green River between the two stations but didn't attack anyone. That that was why they were there when the Confederates attacked us. They knew that it was going to happen but couldn't know exactly when."

I mulled this over for a moment. "Buck, do you think that there was more to their dreams or visions? That concerns both of us?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye.

"I'm almost certain of it, Lou" he said, smiling. "Something concerning both of us is weighing on Red Bear's mind and he wishes to speak of it to both of us." He looked at me for a moment, considering. "Are you scared?"

I looked down at my saddlehorn, then up into Buck's face. "Yes. I am" I said softly. "I'm afraid because I don't know what to expect when we get to the village. How do the Kiowa treat white women? Will they separate us? I don't want that to happen, Buck!"

I felt wetness and realized that tears had begun to track down my face. I hurriedly scrubbed them away with the heel of my hand, ashamed of my own cowardice. I swore softly.

Buck reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly. "You're going to be stared at, Lou, by just about everyone. Most of the women and children have never even seen a white woman. If you had been captured, you would need to be afraid - the women would beat you and spit on braves and warriors would not be gentle and would likely try to violate you. You would probably be kept as a slave, or sold to another tribe as a slave. But Red Bear has asked that you be here, so you will not be harmed. And I will not let them separate us unless the shaman asks that it be so." He reined Blink in close bside Twitch, leaned over in his saddle, and kissed me, cupping my cheek in his palm. "It's going to be all right" he whispered.

I gave him a watery smile. Buck spoke in Kiowa to the sentries, six of them, who rode out of the trees and undergrowth. The leader spoke to Buck.

"Red Horse has asked if we are ready to go" he said to me. "Are you ready, Lou?"

I sat up straighter and nodded to Buck. We cantered off in the direction of the village.

As we drew near, the sentries reined their horses in to a slow trot and we did likewise. We followed a narrow trail that led from the river to a more sheltered area close by a bluff. We slowed the horses to a walk as the trail wound like a street between the tipis, the cooking fires, and frames that held animal skins to be scraped and strips of meat to be dried. Women and girls stared at us as we rode along; some nursed babies, others held small children. The older children ran alongside us, calling out to the sentries and Red Horse swung a young boy up onto his horse with him.

"His son, Spotted Pony" Buck said with a smile.

At length, we came upon a clearing in the center of the camp. At the far end of the clearing stood a small tipi, outside of which sat an aged man with white hair and skin with fine wrinkles like spiderwebs. I guessed that he was the shaman. On the left side of the clearing stood a large tipi with its flaps open. Red Bear stood in front of the tipi; beside him stood a lovely young woman, heavy with child. Red Bear spoke to the sentries; they each struck their chests with a fist and rode off.

"Welcome, Running Buck. Welcome, Louise Heart of a Warrior."

Red Bear's voice was deep and powerful but not menacing, and for the first time since we left Green River I began to relax. We dismounted from our horses, and Red Bear motioned to a young brave who had been standing quietly off to one side. He took the reins and began to lead the horses away.

"Gray Wolf will take care of your horses while you are here with us" Red Bear explained. "They are fine animals and well-cared for. They will be kept safe." He turned to the young woman, who stepped forward with her head bowed. "My wife, Morning Star. She carries our son, who will be born before the next phase of the moon."

Morning Star stepped forward, a slight blush staining her dark face. She turned to Buck and kissed his forehead. She then turned to me, and surprised me by first looking into my eyes, as if reading my thoughts. She embraced me and kissed my forehead.

"Welcome, Louise Heart of a Warrior. May your coming here be a joy and a blessing."

Morning Star spoke quietly so that only I heard her. The shaman, who sat a short distance away, motioned to us to come and sit with him.

"We have seen you in our dreams, Running Buck, brother of Red Bear. You were told to leave and never look back. But the Great Spirit showed us that you and Heart of a Warrior needed to be kept safe, that you would complete your dangerous and difficult mission for the Great Chief in the east of the land and the Dog Soldiers. You have helped to protect us all from a great evil which would spread like wildfire across this land and enslave all those whose only wish is to be free. You have done well, son and daughter. We wish to thank you, if you would have it so."

The shaman regarded us with far-seeing, almost-black eyes. He turned to Buck.

"You, my son, have led a life that took you far from us at a young age. But the Great Spirit has called you back to us at a time that is very crucial to you. Life as you know it now, Running Buck, is about to change forever. War is coming to us from the east and south of this land. Brother will kill brother. You and your white foster family will be changed forever - unless you and Heart of a Warrior intervene. You have the power to change the lives of those around you for the good, my son."

"And you, Heart of a Warrior, have led a life of danger, pain, and sorrow. Yet you have found that which you sought from childhood - a family to love and protect you from harm and the true love which comes only once in a lifetime. Yet your life is about to change also - and when it does you can never go back."

The shaman smiled then. "You both are young and pure of heart. You share a love which few are ever fortunate enough to find. If you so wish, we will lead you on a vision quest, providing that you, my daughter, are not at your time of the moon."

I quickly shook my head.

"Much may be revealed to you, where your true destinies lie and with whom. Is this your wish?"

"It is my wish" Buck said quietly. "It is my wish also" I added.

"So be it" the old man said. "Running Buck shall come with me and Red Bear to be made ready. You, Heart of a Warrior, will go with Morning Star to be made ready. Let us go."

I watched Buck leave with the men, but I wasn't afraid. Morning Star put her arm around my shoulder; her touch was light as a bird's, yet I could feel her great strength.

"It is a great honour to be asked to experience a vision quest" she said in her quiet voice. "Many women ask, and most are denied. Only a few are ever chosen."

"Will Buck - Running Buck - be there with me?" I asked hesitantly.

"He will be with you, little one, as will Red Bear and Eagle Who Flies Far. I will not; I need to save my strength for the birthing of our son very soon." Morning Star smiled. She was lovely as the sunrise. "I hope he will be born while you and Running Buck are here, that you may assist at the birth and learn. That you will know for the birthing of your own son when he comes."

I glanced at her then but she shook her head and smiled. "I cannot say more now. It is not my place." We entered the tipi and she closed the flaps behind us. "I will help you to bathe and dress for the ceremony, little one. Do not be afraid."

I looked at her in astonishment: I had only felt the slightest pang of fear at undressing before a stranger. Yet she seemed to know my very thoughts before I spoke of them.

"Are you - a seeress?" I asked timidly, toeing off my dusty boots. Morning Star smiled.

"I have the gift of sight, yes, and the skills of a healer. My twin sister, Evening Star, is a midwife. She will help me birth my son." I unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, drew my chemise over my head. Morning Star stroked the silky material. "Running Buck must find this very beautiful."

I looked at her, red-faced; her eyes danced with mischief. I couldn't help but laugh.

"He does" I whispered, giggling. I unbuttoned my trousers and drew them off. Morning Star poured rose-scented water into a large bowl and dipped a soft cloth into it.

"He is a good man" she said, washing my back. "He loves you very much."

"I love him very much" I whispered. Morning Star turned me and began to wash my chest, then my stomach. When she reached the juncture of my thighs, I stiffened.

"Do not fear my touch, Heart of a Warrior" she said quietly, reassuringly. "I can tell much about you this way." I relaxed slightly and she continued to wash me with the sweet-smelling water.

"You have come to us fresh from Running Buck's love" she smiled. "That is good." She placed a strong hand on the skin over my womb. "You are not with child now." I nodded, smiling. "When you wish to conceive, go to your love on the evening of a new moon - you will be ripe then."

Morning Star rinsed out the washcloth and set it aside. She picked up a tiny bowl and dipped her figer into it; a familiar scent filled the air and I smiled in recognition.

"Do you like the smell of sage?" she asked me, drawing her finger across my forehead.

I nodded. "Buck always smells of sage - he burns it during his morning prayers, I think."

"Ah" Morning Star smiled. "Sage will be used during the vision quest to help clear your mind and prepare it for whatever visions may come." She set down the bowl of crushed sage and picked up another tiny bowl. She dipped her finger into it and this time rubbed it onto the skin of my left breast. This herb smelled sweet and aromatic.

"This is wild thyme" Morning Star explained. "It will assure that your heart remains pure. Now, you will dress."

She picked up a white garment that lay folded on a spotlessly clean animal skin. As she held it up, the dress unfolded and I drew in my breath. "It's beautiful, Morning Star" I breathed reverently, drawing my fingertip along the intricate beadwork embellishing the neckline.

"It is doeskin" she smiled. "Those who undertake the vision quest must dress in a fashion that honours the spirits whose guidance they seek." I lifted my arms up and Morning Star slipped the dress over my head and into place. "You are very lovely, Heart of a Warrior. Someday this might be your wedding dress also." She picked up a hairbrush that was made of what looked like porcupine quills with a wooden handle, and brushed my hair until it was free of tangles."Now" she placed white mocassins at my feet and I slid my feet into them, "you are ready. But I would speak to you here, before we join the others."

She reached out and took my hands in hers. "I cannot foretell all that will be revealed to you today. But this I know - you will be shown your heart's desire, and in time you will be joined as husband and wife. There will come a time when he will both anger and disappoint you, and you will wonder if you have chosen rightly. You may doubt his love for you. But know that he loves you with all his heart, and that all will be made right again in time."

I looked up into Morning Star's clear, far-seeing dark brown eyes and held her gaze for a moment. "Are you feeling brave, little one?" she whispered.

"Yes" I whispered back.

"Then let us go."

Morning Star led me out of her tipi into the bright sunshine of the August morning. We walked along the path, past numerous other tipis; a young woman, the mirror image of Morning Star, called out and Morning Star answered her in Kiowa.

"My sister, Evening Star" she explained. "She has just delivered a daughter for Soaring Hawk and his wife Prairie Dove."

At length we came to a small lodge made of branches and covered with bark, not unlike the sweat lodge we had had in Sweetwater. Morning Star led me up the path to the entrance and kissed my forehead.

"I must leave you now, Heart of a Warrior. I leave you in the care of Red Bear and Eagle Who Flies Far, and Running Buck will be by your side. Do not be afraid of what the Spirits show to you, for they love and care for all of their children who honour them. Go now."

Morning Star turned and began to walk back the way we had come. I turned to face the cave-like entrance, drew in a deep breath, and stepped inside. Darkness immediately enveloped me as the entrance was firmly sealed to keep out the daylight. I could faintly see the tall figure of Red Bear, the white hair of the shaman. The shaman motioned to me and I came closer; he motioned for me to sit and I sat on the ground to his right. Buck sat on his left, with Red Bear between us. Warriors sat along the walls; they held drums which they began to beat gently.

"Welcome, Running Buck and Heart of a Warrior" Eagle Who Flies Far said in a voice strong for someone so aged. "You are well and properly prepared for your inner journey. The sacred fire shall be lit now and stay alight for the duration of your journey, to guide you on the paths that the Spirits have chosen for you." He leaned forward and struck flint; a small blaze flickered and I glanced over at Buck. He wore buckskin pants and mocassins, and a shirt of buckskin embellished with what I guessed to be quillwork. His hair, brushed until it was gleaming, had been braided on the left side near his ear and wrapped in fur. He was so handsome he took my breath away. He raised his eyes to look at me and his eyes widened at the sight of me in the white doeskin dress.

Eagle Who Flies Far sprinkled something into the fire; immediately, the sweet smell of burning sage filled the lodge. I smiled to myself; I associated the smell with Buck. Red Bear produced a small bag made of animal skin and held it up , moving it in six directions. He then held it open to Buck, who removed a small handful of its contents, and then to me. I followed Buck's example and removed a small handful, realizing it was tobacco.

"Make your offering to the Spirits, Running Buck, to pay them tribute." Buck threw his tobacco into the fire. "Make your offering to the Spirits, Heart of a Warrior, to thank them for keeping you safe." I threw my tobacco into the fire. A second sweet smell mingled with that of the sage, and I began to feel ever so slightly light-headed.

The warriors began to beat the drums very slightly louder and chanted very softly. Eagle Who Flies Far produced an ornately decorated clay bowl from the ground at his feet and held it up, moving it in the same six directions as had Red Bear. He then held it up over his head.

"Drink of the water of life, that you may embrace your inner child and let him take you by the hand." He drank from the bowl, then handed it to Buck, who drank and handed it to Red Bear. Lastly, I was handed the bowl and I drank from it.

The liquid looked like water, but it had a faintly medicinal taste. The men all began to chant, eyes closed; I didn't know the words they chanted but I closed my eyes and let my mind drift where it would.

I felt as though I was beginning to slide into sleep, yet I was not sleeping. I was able to move freely, and I realized that I was looking down at myself, at my body laying on the ground. Eagle Who Flies Far and Red Bear sat up, eyes closed and chanting softly. Buck appeared to be sleeping. I held up my hand and I was able to see the sacred fire through it. I looked down at the rest of my body; although I was naked I could see the glow of the sacred fire within my breast and realized that this was my very soul set free for a time.

I held up my arms and immediately the lodge, its occupants, and the fire vanished. I saw before me a bed, and in the bed a lovely, though very pale and thin, woman. I saw a very young girl wipe her mother's brow with a damp cloth...the mother smiled and said her last goodbye. I turned...

...a summer's day, the sound of happy male voices; the smell of horses and their sweat, of raw meat and uncured, heavy animal hides...a narrow, winding trail leading down into a valley...death and desolation, the fires of destruction still smoking...the frames where tipis once stood...the smell of charred flesh...a young brave vaulting off of his horse before it had stopped..."kaw " he whispered, anguished...

...a young girl...huge brown eyes and long shining brown hair, a simple homespun dress...tall women in black, black veils with white...canes of green wood in their hands and they beat the girl over and over to make her repent...she would not cry...

...the young brave, taller now...dressed in the clothing of the white man...tall women in black, black veils with white...canes of green wood in their hands and they beat upon his outstretched left hand over and over to cripple his use of the devil's hand...he would not cry...

...a beautiful young woman, crouched in a narrow, dimly lit room...the door opens and he comes...he looms over her, unbuttons his pants...you're a woman now, he croons as he forces his way inside her...she wipes up her blood that he spilled...the tears of fear and pain she would not shed...

...the young brave, tall and lightly muscled from years of heavy labour...his companion, silent, a bandana covering his bald head...the drunken men beat them, over and over...they do not cry...

...a skinny young boy...short choppy nondescript hair...baggy raggedy clothing, round glasses...a Navy revolver in a gunbelt...holding in the tears of loneliness and despair...

...the tall brave, hair chopped short...standing in a line with his silent companion, the skinny boy, and three others...he holds back the tears of despair...

...the boy is a girl...

...the brave is a warrior...

...she rides like the wind of the storm...she lifts her face to the sun...

...the hooves of his horse lightly skim the ground...for the first time in his life he is free...

...they ride across the prairie together, matching stride for stride...they sit at a campfire...he hands her a tin cup...they sleep in each others' arms...she kneels astride him as he laughs up at her...they kiss urgently, passionately...naked, they touch tentatively, timidly, then boldly...their lovemaking is pure and joyous...

...and the scene shifts...

...fire, and a tall white stone building...two wooden crosses side by side...

...tall poles that seem to travel in a line as far as the eye can see, miles of wire...

...the warrior dressed in his ceremonial buckskins...the young woman in her ceremonial white doeskin...

...they lay together naked in a bed on a night of no moon, the breeze swaying the white lace curtains...

...he and his silent companion, sweating in the hot sunshine, hammers in their hands...he claps the silent one on the back...

...a barn, and a corral full of horses...

...she sits at a wooden table in a bright kitchen...a young round-faced woman reaches out to hold her hand...

...his face bruised purple and blue under one eye...he rides west across the prairie...she sits, alone, in her kitchen...the rain falls...she weeps...

...a young man, his hair long and brown, and a dark-haired woman...she clutches his arm...

...a young man, hair curly and chestnut-coloured, punches the other, long-haired man in the eye...the dark-haired woman rides with him...the Dog Soldiers shooting...the dark-haired woman rides, shooting...the dark-skinned man falls from his saddle...the yellow-haired man clutches him to his chest, weeping...a cemetery and a freshly-dug grave...the long-haired man rides off with the dark-haired woman...the yellow-haired man rides with the Dog Soldiers...

...and the scene shifts...

...the silent one and the young round-faced woman lay beneath a tree...sun and shade...they kiss passionately...they share their love...

...the warrior returns, chastened...she weeps into his chest...

...she lays in a bed, face contorted in pain...he whispers to her in Kiowa...the round-faced woman is frightened...a young Kiowa woman lays her hands on her...she draws forth a squalling infant...it is a boy...

...the silent one and the round-faced woman lay together in a bed...she whispers into his ear...his face lights up in joy...

...her round face twists in the agony of childbirth...the warrior's woman draws forth a silent infant...

...and the light begins to fade...I know no more...

Back in my body again, I sleep soundly, Buck beside me.

A/N: Another roller-coaster ride, phew! The Muse gave everyone, myself included, a real workout with this one. Thanks for sticking with us!

It's been like pulling teeth to find info on Kiowa beliefs, rituals, and ceremonies, so I've had to go with information about Native Americans in general. I did find that most tribes allowed women to participate in the vision quest ceremony so long as she was not "at her time of the moon" - so that much was true.

As always, let me know what you think! Red Bear and Morning Star are getting ready for the birth of their son. As for the visions...well, we'll just have to wait and see how things work out.