Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Having a breakdown is bad enough, but the feeling after it definitely sucks.

Warnings: AU. Discussion of depression, self harm, and suicide.

Notes: I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their alert list, as well as those who have added me to their alert list. I wouldn't have made it this far without your encouragement and kind reviews. I figured this fic will finish in twelve chapters instead of ten, since I am finicky about chapter numbers. And, I have a recurring idea of writing up a sequel, currently titled Stand Up, so we'll see how that goes. Enjoy!

Chapter Ten

Exhaustion

You know that feeling you get after having a breakdown, regardless of how big or small the breakdown was? The feeling of unadulterated exhaustion. The soreness of your eyes, the pain behind them. Your shoulders and arms feel as heavy as lead. You can't bear to lift yourself up, in fear of falling right back down to the floor.

Yeah. Having a breakdown is bad enough, but the feeling after it definitely sucks.

Danny rested between his two friends, his head on Sam's lap and his feet on Tucker's lap. Jazz helped him change from his rumpled clothes to a warm, plain shirt and gray sweatpants. His feet were still socked. All Danny did was rest against his closest friends, while his sister covered him in a soft blanket. He felt warm, and soft, and he sighed.

He wasn't entirely numb, and he wasn't sure if he'll feel that way anytime soon. But, for now, he was okay.

In the dining room of the Foley home, Angela sat next to Maddie while Vlad remained beside Maurice. Jack, however, stood against the kitchen counter, staring outside the small window overlooking the backyard.

"How could I not have seen anything?" Maddie murmured, cheeks streaked with tears. "I'm his mother. I'm supposed to know if my child is suffering. I'm supposed to help him. Instead, all I've been doing is hurting him."

"We both were," Jack said. "We both decided to hunt down Phan, uh…Danny…because of the beliefs we had and we both wanted to get rid of him because of those beliefs. We…we never did sit down to talk to him."

Jack shook his head, "Danny had a good point. We never did talk to ghosts, to him. We shot first."

Vlad sighed, staring between his old college friends. He felt a little guilty for insulting them before he ran off to find Danny but, at the same time, he knew they deserved it. "I…suggest you two approach Danny carefully. He won't budge easily, or he'll react differently than you expect. I believe that young man is very strong, but he's at his breaking point. And I don't want him to fall from that."

Maurice and Angela stared at one another. Parental sympathies filled them, as well as amazement of knowing their son's closest friend was the town's hero. But, worry came along, and they hoped the boy didn't fall from the edge.

In the living room, Jazz sat down in the armchair in front of the couch. Half of her wanted to get Danny to talk, to let her in, to tell her every last bit of how he was feeling. The other half of her wanted to just hold her baby brother and never let him go. She thought of their group's backup plan, of what would've happened if they were able to run off before their parents found them. How would she have helped her brother, then, when she couldn't help him now?

Danny, with everyone around him reeling, filling themselves with so many negative emotions, winced, and tried to keep himself warm. It was difficult to stay warm when he had an ice core, when his blood was filled with an even amount of ectoplasm that made his skin clammy. As if his body was against getting better when his mind wanted just that.

His mind wandered. Concocting images of himself falling from the sky. Of him crying. Of the time he had a shard of glass in his hand and was willing, ready, to slice open his skin just to feel something other than tired.

Maybe that was a good way to stop the war between his mind and his body.

"Let me go, guys," Danny said, removing the blanket. "I have to piss."

"Danny," Jazz called.

"Chill out. I just have to piss. Don't need a babysitter."

Danny got up, and shuffled away from his friends. If he looked calm on the outside, everyone would leave him alone. He considered his idea carefully. He couldn't break anything in this house; it would alert everyone else, then it would be near impossible for him to be on his own without a babysitter. He couldn't go to the kitchen for a knife; it would definitely lead to more people looming over him and more people crying, and more shit he didn't want to deal with.

He walked upstairs quietly, and into the second floor bathroom, closing the door behind him with a click from the lock. Danny looked around the Foley's bathroom. The porcelain tub was clean, as was the toilet. The bathroom sink was clean and carried the usual things found in home bathrooms: toothbrushes, a bar of soap, toothpaste.

Danny looked into the medicine cabinet, a fleeting thought of how rude it was to peek into someone else's medicine cabinet being ignored. There were plenty of lotions and other ointments in the medicine cabinet, but not anything sharp. Danny closed the cabinet and crouched to peek into the cabinet below the sink.

Toilet paper, extra shampoo and conditioner, and a black container. Danny grabbed it quickly. He had to hurry.

Inside the container was a razor. Not the one his Dad had, the blue disposable ones that looked gross after just one use. It was one of those razors that cost a fortune and had replaceable blades. And the container held those blades.

He thought back to his own little metaphor when he was falling. Kids would use blades just like these to cut up their arms, legs, and anywhere else they could reach. For what? For distraction from whatever they felt? For a reminder they were real? As a punishment for their failures? Danny had all those feelings in spades, and he wondered why he didn't think of this instead of just his free-falling habit. Was that really just a spur of a moment idea?

Danny grabbed a blade first, but hissed and dropped it. He watched as his skin split, and let out just a droplet out from the window. Incredible. That thin, tiny blade was already producing results he only imagined once before. But how would he carry that blade without cutting himself and looking suspicious in the process.

You've been feeling shitty because of your ghost powers. Maybe you should use them to your advantage now.

Danny lowered his hand to place it above the blade, and used only a hint of his powers to lift it from the ground before turning both his hand and the blade intangible. Where could he even hide it? His own core was the best place he could think of.

Although a ghost's core was pure power, it was adaptable. His core was an ice core, and it would easily freeze the blade once it was inside it. And there wasn't even an issue with finding the core itself. Danny merely inserted his intangible hand into the center of his ribcage, easily bringing up his core.

He was half-tempted to say, fuck this, and just blast off his core right then and there. But, then, his friends were probably waiting for him. If he stayed too long, they might come running. He might not even have enough time to blast off his core. He wasn't even sure if his own body or, rather, the ghost side of his body, wouldn't fight back death.

Instead, he just hid the blade inside that frozen block of power, and removed his hand. It was almost funny; he stood up and didn't even feel the piece of metal inside him. Danny closed the razor case and returned it to its rightful place. He flushed the toilet for good measure, and opened the door. Just as he expected, Jazz was waiting for him.

"You okay?"

"I told you," Danny said, frowning, "I had to pee."

"I just want to make sure you're okay, Danny."

Danny sighed and walked to his sister. He felt…guilty…for hiding the blade, for hiding his feelings, from her and everyone around him. But, if he had told everyone this earlier, all this would have just happened earlier.

No, thanks. He couldn't even deal with it now.

Danny stopped in front of his sister, and looked over her face. He was almost as tall as her now, and maybe would end up taller, since he inherited a lot more from his father's side than his mother's. The desire to die only conjured up an image of who he was now. The future that could've been showed only a combination of his ghost half with Vlad's ghost half, no human genes to manipulate growth. He wondered if he would grow as broad as his father, or as slim as his mother. Or would he be a hybrid of the two, just like he was a hybrid between a ghost and a human.

Danny sighed and walked down the stairs.

Jack Fenton knew what other people thought of him. Many considered him a bumbling fool for blabbering about ghosts and the paranormal. Others thought of him as an idiot with poor aim, because his wife could land a blast on any ghost, regardless of how far, when he couldn't go on a hunt without causing property damage.

He actually knew Vlad had a poor opinion of him. He's definitely overheard the white-haired man calling him an oaf and a fool, several times. He's even heard a few remarks of "taking" Maddie away from him, which Jack just shrugged off because Maddie wasn't a prize to be won. If anything, Maddie chose Jack, rather than him winning her.

He also noticed, very quickly, how Danny was feeling. He knew the boy wasn't adapting as well as he should have. In fact, he had been a shaky, nervous person before the accident. If anything, the portal accident had just multiplied the anxiety Danny had. But, Jack…Jack just elected to ignore it, focused on his weaponry and hunting.

What a terrible father he was.

The Fentons returned home after being with the Foleys for too long, and Jack could still envision his son being hugged by both of his friends. He truly noticed his son then. The unhealthy pallor of his skin. His limbs skinnier than they were before the accident. His son was drained of color, of life, and maybe it was because he was literally half-dead.

His son was half-dead, and Jack had called him a pile of ectoplasmic scum. He insulted his own son, to his face, in front of his wife and old friend. And it wasn't until Vlad called him out on it did he realize how stupid he was.

"You are not my son."

"I will tear you apart with my bare hands."

Oh God. He threatened his own son. He threatened to kill his son.

Jack placed a shaky hand on the table in his kitchen. He threatened to kill his son. He threatened him because of prejudice that's been with him for far too long. He's threatened him before he even knew who Phantom really was.

I am so sorry, Danny…

"Jack?"

Jack felt warm, soft hands hold his face, and he looked up to his wife. He realized his vision was foggy and blinked away tears. He had no right to cry. He threatened his son. He wasn't the one who was hurt in this situation.

"I said…so many bad things to him." Jack closed his eyes, even though more tears kept falling. "I threatened my own son. I threatened to kill my own son. Oh, God. Maddie, Danny…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't."

"Jack, shh…" Maddie brought her husband close to her, wrapping her arms around him as much as she possibly could. "You didn't know. None of us did. Our baby hid this secret and the feelings that went with it from us, and now, it's our job to help him. I…We don't want to lose our son. We have to help him."

"A parent shouldn't bury their own child," Jack murmured, wiping his face. He had to be strong, for his son, his family.

"I should apologize to Danny. I…I hurt him."

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Jack."

Maddie and Jack turned their heads to look at Vlad. Jack could remember a time Vlad had the same face he wore currently. The cloudy gaze, the clenched jaw. He remembered a cigarette in his hand where there was now nothing. Jack remembered all of their vices. Vlad's was smoking. His own was drinking. Maddie punched things.

He was…very afraid to know if Danny had any vices. He was afraid to know if Danny was like those kids who would hurt themselves because they felt just as terrible as he did.

"I need to check on my son," Jack said, removing Maddie from him. "I need to. I need to see if-"

"Jack," Vlad said, sharply. "If I were in Danny's shoes, I wouldn't want you near me. He doesn't want to even be around his own sister. Surely, he wouldn't want to be around the two of you. He…He needs his space."

"We left him alone this whole time," Maddie shouted. "We need to be with him."

"What Danny needs is sleep," Vlad said. "Jasmine was tucking him into bed when I checked on them. The boy looked like he was about to fall asleep standing and, trust me, he's already done that before."

Vlad approached the couple and looked to Jack. "Jack, right now, you feel terrible. You feel terrible, and worried, and guilty. But, you cannot let your own emotions come before the emotions of your son."

"That's all I want. I want to die." Danny's words repeated in Jack's head over and over like a scratched up record.

"My son wants to kill himself," Jack said, angry and worried all at once. "I should be looking after him. I should be there for him. I should make up for all the time I spent chasing ghosts. Literally. I need to see Danny."

"How do you know you can't hurt a ghost?"

Maybe he was hurting ghosts. He was definitely hurting his son, who was only half ghost. But, he could make amends with his son. He would beg forgiveness from the boy if it means his son won't kill himself.

"Mom? Dad?"

Jazz stood at the kitchen doorway, looking sadder and more tired than she ever did. "Danny's asleep. I'm sure he's tired from everything that's happened. Maybe you guys can keep it down?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Maddie nodded.

"Jazz," Jack called. "You knew this whole time Danny was a ghost. That's why you yelled at us before you left the house to go look for him."

Jazz sighed, shoulders slumping. She nodded.

"And Vlad. You knew, too."

"Correct, Jack."

"Did Danny tell you?"

Vlad looked at Jack. How could he say how he knew? Vlad was at risk, at this point. He couldn't just expose his own ghost half, but he knew it wouldn't make any sense to know Danny was half ghost unless he changed the entire story.

"I…watched him transform into his Phantom half…when you all were visiting my manor for the reunion. My mansion is large, and very old. Surely, there were plenty of ghosts in those old halls. Danny must have hunted them down."

He could explain his own ghost half later.

"And you, Jazz?"

"I, um…I also saw him transform. It was when that psychologist, Spectra, was visiting Casper High. A lot of ghosts were feeding on the crappy feelings everyone was having. Danny had to fight them off, and I caught him transforming into Phantom. Um…Sam and Tucker were probably told from the beginning. Danny didn't want to tell you."

Jack sighed, his chest hurting. "Everyone knew but us. Was he honestly so afraid of us? We shouldn't have scared him so much. We should have known. But I…I didn't even see any of it. Now, I'm going to lose my son."

"But, we can help him!" Jazz said. "We can help him. We can be there to support him. We can. I'm sure."

Jack looked at his daughter, his wife, and his friend. "I hope you're right."

The dread in his chest wasn't going away any time soon.