Sometimes we lose friends for whose loss our regret is greater than our grief, and others for whom our grief is greater than our regret. -François de la Rochefoucauld
Katt stared at the darkened glassteel pane and trembled. She was frozen in terror that broke suddenly into terrified grief.
'You won't see him on Katina…' a voice whispered.
Then… silence. Unbearable silence that only grew heavier…
"Miss Katt," a cub said as softly as she could, "Miss Katt?"
Katt blinked a few times, took a deep, calming breath, and turned to the cub. The youngest, a little girl, had her paws clenched together, and she was shaking. When Katt looked at the other two cubs, they too were wide-eyed and obviously frightened.
The feline rubbed at her eyes and fought the urge to cry. She was now obligated with these young cubs who deserved a chance at a normal life.
"Miss Katt," the cub said again, "I have to go potty."
Her mouth dropped open, but she managed to stutter an "okay" and helped the cub out of her crash webbing. The little girl took care of her business in the back toilet and they rejoined to two boys.
"We're almost there," Katt said after a while.
"Then we get to see our Mommy and Daddy?" one of the boys asked.
"Soon," Katt nodded, "The next fur will take you to Corneria, and from there you'll find your parents again. Try to be patient."
'I have to be patient too,' Katt thought, 'I don't know what I'll do if Wolf isn't there.'
Lights dimmed in the personal office of the Boss, and the video screen on the wall silently showed a wandering view of a space battle recorded from a participant. The Boss grabbed his remote and walked closer. The screen itself was quite large and state-of-the-art; only the best was acceptable for the Boss. He pointed the remote behind him at the transparasteel window behind his desk and dimmed it to opaque. The raven pulled a plush chair close to the wall screen and sat.
The recording was made only minutes ago and focused on one small starfighter in particular. When it showed the brief flare of that ship, the Boss paused it. He magnified the ship and stepped through the animation. He magnified it again, and looked at a short series of images very closely.
The black-feathered corners of his beak curled upwards.
He touched a button on his ornate desk and waited until he heard the positive connection code.
"Find the pieces of the ship and look for a body," he told the pilot, "I want to know with certainty."
The pilot confirmed and closed the secure connection. The raven sat down in his chair and watched the stars slowly go by outside the space station. He had the vague sensation that things were beginning to spiral out of his control. Only five years ago he had come in and taken over the guild's panel and consolidated several smuggling cartels. There had always been those who were unhappy about it and had made themselves known, but the Boss thought he had taken care of them. But like the cockroach that could nearly survive a trip through interplanetary space, the dissent had always existed in the dark allies and crevices of the guild.
Now, over that past month, the smuggler revolt had noticeably increased. The rule infractions had increased, his bounty hunters were unable to keep up with the offenders, and small crime lords were moving in on the smuggling trade. It was all he could do to keep the trusted aides protected and in charge of his business affairs. Even the pilot he had talked to was questionable in his loyalties, and should he fail to bring something back, the boy would be meeting vacuum.
Really, the past five years had been the hardest but most enjoyable five years of his life. He had finally found the pinnacle of his life long ambitions, and now it seemed to be slipping away. Perhaps it was time to let the guild go for a while, allow it to wallow in anarchy and confusion and let the smugglers see how good they had it with the Boss.
It was very disorienting to be spinning wildly in space to an unknown trajectory, Wolf discovered. Perhaps it was the strangely dizzying movement of stars-debris-ship-stars-debris-stars-debris-planet-SOLAR!BLINDING-debris-stars, or maybe it was the concussion he was fairly sure he had received from his last-second ejection and subsequent peppering from shrapnel debris.
He was still amazed that he had donned the space suit so quickly. Ditching was one of those things that he never would have done had he been absolutely sure that there was no other choice, and also, that he was absolutely sure he wanted to live without his Wolfen.
'What the hell happened to me?' Wolf thought, 'I was supposed to die in that ship, not out in space and adrift.'
Wolf noticed something cold brushing against his right upper arm. When he looked at it from the helmet visor, he was surprised to see a small gash in the outer lining of the vacuum suit. There were several layers to prevent explosive decompression, but even a small hole would significantly reduce his half-hour oxygen supply. Quickly he closed the tear with his left palm and searched for the patch kit. In the clumsy suit gloves, Wolf fumbled with the small square patch, trying to remove the adhesive backing. It slipped out of his fingers and was gone before he could even blink.
For the first time in years, Wolf was speechless. He was adrift, abandoned, cold, and could do nothing but think and eventually die. After several moments, Wolf closed his eyes and relaxed, allowing his paw to fall free. What else could he do?
He was waiting. Waiting for his life to flash before his eyes, like everyone said it would. Wasn't that what happened to furs who didn't die instantly but were well on their way out the door? Some sad, last minute recollection of all the things they hated or loved? All the mistakes they could have prevented or the choices they should have made? Or was it a bright light to follow? Something guiding the soon-to-be-dead to a happier place or just nothingness?
Wolf opened his eyes slightly and saw a faint light.
He was gasping for breath by now, "So it is the light."
It was growing stronger, but would twinkle like a flickering candle, or moonlight on the ocean. The light faded and returned, even changed colors like a kaleidoscope. It was… mesmerizing. It might even been an unnatural light, but when Myrie's singsong voice echoed all around him, he nearly cried at the sudden emotion, the sudden realization of impending doom.
Wolf didn't want to die, now that he had finally found someone who gave him something to live for, but die he must.
He was disinclined to feel like a moron and try to follow the light, as he was still aware enough to know that he had absolutely no control over his body in vacuum. Instead, he simply closed his eyes again and let the light take him to whatever end he deserved.
"Ah Katt," he gasped his last few breaths, "You'll never know. How much. I regret this."
The transfer of the cubs seemed to have taken forever, Katt thought, but she was finally nearing the Katina location. She saw Leon and Panther standing along the wall of the landing bay, both with their paws in their pockets, as she landed the transport. She glanced around from the pilot viewport but only saw the two.
'That doesn't mean he's not here,' she thought, trying to keep her hopes up.
She finished the shut down procedures and left the ship, but when she walked up to Leon and Panther, she knew.
"He's not-" her voice cracked.
Leon gave her an icy look and walked away. Katt covered her face with her paws and began to sob while Panther watched her. After a few minutes he put his paw on her shoulder.
"You won't give up," he said, "You can't. You still have a lot to do."
She rubbed at her cheek fur, "Wolf was… he was… he became special to me."
"I didn't know Wolf very well, so at least you did," Panther stepped back from her, "Take your time. When you're ready, I have the extra Wolfen's key code. It's yours for the battle."
Katt walked over to the bench nearby and sat as Panther walked away. This hurt far more than she had expected. There was nothing to describe how she felt for Wolf, because she had never felt like this for anyone. She wondered if he knew the depth of her feelings.
'Probably,' she reasoned, 'He was very perceptive.'
She sat in silence and just breathed. 'He's gone, really gone.'
Panther was right, she knew, she had a lot left to do. When this was all over, she knew she still had a lot to do, a lot to make right. It was just so hard right now to think positively.
Finally, summoning her resolve, Katt took a deep breath and stood. There was still some planning to do.
This hideout was far better furnished than the asteroid location. The furniture was in good condition, but there were no separate rooms for the bunks that lined a far wall.
Panther was absent, but Leon was sitting on the couch, fingers laced together and head down. As she approached, Katt noticed his skin was dark but soon realized he was the darkest green color than she had ever seen on him. With the little knowledge she had of chameleons and their color-changing abilities, she took this as a bad sign. For Leon to be so upset he that he allowed his color to change… she wasn't sure what he would do. She slowly walked over to the couch and sat down in an adjacent chair. Leon looked away from her.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Why?" he asked, "Why be sorry? Don't cheapen his sacrifice with a platitude like pity."
"That's not what I meant," Katt said.
Leon crossed his arms and finally looked at her, "That was probably the most out of character thing I've seen him do in a long, long time, so appreciate what he did for you. You obviously meant something to him."
Tears welled up in Katt's eyes again and she stared at her knees. No one had ever done such a selfless act for her. It made her heart feel even more shattered and deepened the pit in her stomach.
"Star Wolf is gone," Leon said, "I knew it would come, but I didn't expect it so soon or to still be alive."
Katt looked at the chameleon, "I couldn't have done this without Star Wolf, and I certainly wouldn't be here without your help. I'm very grateful for that."
Leon snorted and Katt frowned.
"I can't fight this alone, I need your and Panther's help," she said.
"You think this won't go on without us? The Boss has had this coming for a while. Ruling with an iron fist is a good way to get clobbered with the iron fist of rebellion. It'll go on without us," Leon said.
He stood and faced her, "Panther doesn't have the right to give you Pigma's Wolfen, but I don't want to see it wasted in storage. So take it, and if it doesn't come back, I'm not going to be upset."
Katt followed him across the room, "Don't you care if this is successful? Won't you want to know first paw that your head won't have a Boss price on it?"
"What am I?" Leon shouted, "I'm one fur, one chameleon who was better off on the ground anyway. And I won't fly into battle without Wolf. Not now." His voice nearly broke and he trailed off.
Wolf had been his closest friend and ally for years upon years, even before Andross recruited them. Leon hardly knew what he would do with himself now, but he certainly couldn't concentrate on a battle now.
Katt remained while Leon stormed off to the hangar, launched his Wolfen, and left. She wondered what would become of the 'Great Leon' when his grief waned and his desire to do something returned. There were still two weeks remaining until the final meet, and then it would be all or nothing, life or death, success or failure.
Katt just hoped she had the strength to survive the fight.
He felt as if he was floating, weightless in zero-gravity and adrift. Leon's clawed fingers moved absently of his mind, as if they were preprogrammed. Katina was left far behind, but the dizzy feeling lasted and he began to feel nauseous.
Leon refused to vomit and instead pulled a med kit out from its hidden compartment. Years before he had abused pain medication and only two furs knew his secret. One had just taken it to his grave.
The chameleon slowly rested his head against the seat back of his Wolfen and squeezed the box as hard as he could. It was so hard, it was so tempting to pull that syringe out and pierce his skin with the cool liquid.
So calming…
He screamed suddenly, the rage exploding from his body in the form of the blood-curdling sound. How long he went on he didn't know, but by the end he was panting, hoarse, and exhausted. Again, Leon's fingers moved on their own accord, drawing up the narcotic and injecting it into his thigh.
The chameleon closed his eyes, drifting off into quiet solitude, and vaguely hoped he had set the auto landing command.
Leon woke to a soft feminine voice and something painful on his chest.
"Come on, wake up," she said, softly but forcefully as she rubbed her knuckles on his sternum.
When his slanted eyes slowly opened, he saw a blurry familiar face and moaned.
"Oh Leon," she sighed, noticing the uncapped syringe in the bin below the cockpit dash, "Why do you do this to yourself?"
He gathered enough consciousness to look at her and said, "Wolf… he's dead."
The female chameleon's skin darkened and her mouth dropped. "What? How? When? Leon, what happened?"
Leon's strength was gone then, and his head dropped against the seat back, "Priya… help me."
Priya looked at him for several moments before disappearing into her sand-scoured home. Medical supplies were hard to come by on the desolate Titania but she had kept some extra anti-narcotics around from Leon's abuse from years ago.
She reappeared up the ladder and to Leon's cockpit with the pre-filled syringe and jammed it in his thigh. Leon barely flinched but he would probably feel it the next day. Almost immediately he became more alert and sat up. Priya dropped the empty syringe and pulled him into a hug that he readily returned.
The Great Leon, feared and loathed by many, sobbed uncontrollably in the arms of the only other fur he had ever trusted.
Two weeks later…
It was just outside of Area 6 that a large group of ships of all shapes and sizes were beginning to gather. There were large gaps between each ship, testament to the lack of trust of the pilots, though occasionally a couple ships were found linked by umbilicals.
Military ships were arriving slowly so as not to startle the smugglers, though when the massive command dreadnaught showed up, there were more than a few who readied their jump drives. Katt watched the proceedings blithely from her cockpit and waited for Bill's message.
She still felt numb and cold, almost as if she was just going through the motions. Three months ago she never would have thought she would start a revolt and raid against the headquarters of the Smuggler's Guild. Even two months ago, during her awful imprisonment, she couldn't have foreseen such an end to her ordeal.
"I've lost so much," she whispered.
Katt closed her eyes. The past two weeks were a blur to her, but she managed to keep her head on her shoulders long enough to master the Wolfen's basic flight capabilities and learn the necessary programs and procedures. Panther and she had worked together in their crash course and over the two weeks had become friends in their common cause. What he would do after this was all over, Katt wasn't sure, as neither of them wanted to think that far ahead.
Leon hadn't returned and neither could even guess as to where he had disappeared. She only hoped he was finding some safe haven to begin recovering his wounded spirit.
The beeping of a comm message startled Katt from her thoughts, and she touched the button to open the channel.
"Katt here," she said to Bill's visage.
He nodded, "Welcome to the culmination of years of work and sacrifice by many known and unknown."
Katt fought the urge to bare her teeth at him and simply nodded in agreement, "Everyone coming should be here by now, so mark the ships with whatever tracking codes you have. There might be a few waiting around Sargasso, but they also might be perimeter guards. I wouldn't trust them until they actually prove their side."
"We'll mark them as neutrals and reassign them as necessary.
Katt said, "Sounds good. See you on the other side."
Bill paused for a moment before nodding and his image disappeared as he disconnected. Katt glared at the black spot, but sighed and leaned back in her chair. It had been hard to keep a positive attitude the past two weeks, and has hard as she had tried not to, Katt felt herself slipping more and more into a depressed fatalism. She looked at the holo of Wolf attached to the center consol near her knees and bit her lip. At least she wouldn't have to actually fight Bill over Wolf, she reasoned.
After a seemingly infinite amount of time, her nav computer beeped and coordinates popped up into the screen. She started the jump plot and waited, now pleased at how fast it organized the jump. Katt only wished the transport had been fitted with such an advanced piece of equipment.
An all call came from the command dreadnaught, "Count down to jump in 30-standard-seconds starting now."
"Here it goes," Katt whispered, "See you on the other side, Wolf."