For The Thrill Of It
Chapter Ten: What's it like?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in the following fanfiction, except for the character of Kristen Shaw. She is of my own design.
"So I'm free to go?"
"Yep, you're free to go"
She hopped off her hospital bed, cutting the ID bracelet off with vigour as she gave her limbs a good shake to get rid of the cobwebs three days in the infirmary caused to collect on her. She was just rotating her shoulders when she saw James stride in, a friendly smile playing on his lips as McCoy finished up her file, officially discharging her from the sick bay as he cited her as mission ready.
"Doc told me he was springing you loose today. How do you feel?" he asked as he walked to her, stopping at the end of her bed as he stood beside the doctor who reactivated her communicator to put her back on the system.
"Good. Better" she said, giving both men a smile as she joined them at the foot of her bed.
"Anyways, we were going to grab lunch. Care to join, Bones?" he asked, clapping the doctor on the shoulder as Kristen began walking towards the door, feeling better than she had a while.
She'd checked back into the infirmary three days ago under Kirk's order and had remained there, spending three excruciatingly long days doing next to nothing while being confined to her bed. Thankfully, people had come to visit her every day, James appearing at the same time each day to spend an hour with her eating lunch, giving her updates on the ship's repairs as well as other bits of ship news. Sulu came everyday as well for a few minutes, as did Monty, but it was James' visits she looked forward to the most.
She didn't know when or under what circumstances it had happened, but their relationship had definitely shifted from resentment and irritation to understanding and compassion. As they spoke over the three days, their tones were different and the way they were around each other changed. It was no long hostile or aggressive. It was pleasant and gentle; something that unsettled her yet pleased her none the less. They'd become comfortable with each other, a comfort level and even trust level she'd never really attained with anyone else before.
The three of them made their way out of the sick bay as they headed towards the mess hall, making easy conversation as they went. The mess hall was busy when they'd arrived, Kristen going over to speak with Sulu and Monty who were sitting together while the other two went and got their lunch. She took a few seconds and thanked them both for coming to visit her, a hug and a kiss on the cheek going to each of the men before she headed to the lunch line, grabbing a tray and standing idly behind one of McCoy's medical cadets as she waited.
"It's Cadet Shaw, right? Kristen?" she heard a female voice ask, Kristen turning her head around to face whomever it was behind her who'd poised the questions.
She recognized her instantly, part from having met her on the bridge on her very first day and part from having previously acknowledged how stunning the woman was. She was tall, about Kristen's height, with dark toned skin, long black hair that was pulled into a high ponytail and captivating dark eyes that were currently directed at her with an expression of politeness on her face.
"Yeah. Lt. Uhura?" she asked, gaining a nod in clarification from the woman who smiled warmly at her.
"Nyota, actually. How are you doing? I didn't know you were being released" Nyota asked as they inched forward in the line, Kristen grinning embarrassedly as she looked down.
"Oh, you heard about that?" she said, cringing both inwardly and externally before looking back up at the Communications Officer. She watched Nyota nod her head, an indistinctive look in her eyes as she kept them on Kristen.
"I was in the bridge when it happened. I don't think I've ever seen Kirk look so scared" Nyota scoffed, her eyes going over her shoulder to where Kirk was sitting with Bones, Sulu, and Scotty. Kristen's eyes followed her's to the four men and just looked at him for a second, giving a small smile as she watched them all erupt into laughter.
"What do you mean?"
"After the phaser you were working on came online for a second, he hailed you on your communicator. When you didn't respond and the power to phaser 4 was cut, he had Scotty beam him to your side instantly, leaving Spock in charge of finishing off the warship. But it's like I said Kristen. After you didn't respond to his initial call, he started to get worried. More worried than I'd ever seen him get before" Nyota informed her as they finally reached the mess hall doors, the pair of them depositing their trays under the warming hood for a second and then withdrawing them a second later, a plate of steaming food ready for them.
"I'm sure it was nothing" Kristen said eventually, pushing the thought of what Nyota was suggesting out of her head.
"Maybe. But from what I saw, it looked like you mattered a hell of a lot more to him than the ship did at that point in time" Nyota said with finality, giving Kristen a pointed look with her eyes before heading off to eat.
She mulled this over in her head for a few seconds as the pair of them walked over to the table, Kristen sitting down beside Kirk who smiled at her before returning his attention back to the conversation. The six of them talked for what seemed like hours, going on well after all the food had been consumed. They talked about their pasts, families, old jobs, and experiences on the ship. One by one they left, and at the end of the conversation she felt considerably closer to everyone who'd been sitting at that table. Including Kirk, who was the only person left sitting besides herself.
"I know I said it a few days ago but, thanks for saving me" she said as she collected all the trays and dumped them in the cleaning receptacle, moving back to the table with two cups of coffee as she sat down opposite of him.
"No need to say thanks. Like I told you before Kristen, it's my job as Captain to keep everyone on this ship alive" he said, pulling one of the mugs towards him and taking a sip.
She nodded once and smiled weakly before looking down at her own steaming mug, her mind elsewhere.
"What was it like?" he asked in a quiet voice, drawing her attention. She was about to ask him what he meant when he clarified anyways.
"Dying. Being dead. What was it like?"
She looked down at her mug.
"Darker than I expected. There was no life flashed before my eyes, no bright light I went into, no pearly white gates. Just darkness. Darkness and silence" she said, her eyes remaining trained on her mug the entire time.
A few minutes passed in silence between them, her eyes still on the steaming cup while his eyes stayed on her. He broke the silence a few minutes later.
"When I saw you just laying there...it was one of the scariest moments of my life" he said in a quiet voice, Kristen's eyes coming off him as she watched him relive it in his head.
-------------
"Cadet Shaw, the phaser just came online, can you confirm?" he asked, the bridge a hub of noise and excitement as the phaser's continued to destroy the incoming war ship.
"Sir, phaser four has just gone offline" Chekov informed him spinning around in his chair to give the Captain a warning look. He tapped two buttons on the arm rest of his chair and hailed Scotty.
"Scotty, what's going on with Phaser four?"
"Aye, I sent Cadet Shaw down there about ten minutes ago to keep an eye on it. She called me a few minutes ago asking me to cut the power. I forgot about the backup generators until a few seconds ago, I just shut them off" the engineer shouted back to him through the communication system, Kirk hearing the background noise in the Engineering bay as mechanics busied themselves repairing the ship.
"Cadet Shaw, please come in" he said, hailing her again. His eyes diverted off the glass screen in front of him and down to the centre controls, his heart beginning to race faster as seconds ticked by without an answer.
"Kristen, please come in" he tried again, this time getting out of his chair as he began to pace quietly, a hand going to his worried brow.
"Kristen, are you there? Answer me" he asked again, waiting only seconds this time before hailing Scotty again.
"Beam me to Phaser four now" he ordered, receiving confirmation from the engineer as thousands of tiny little lights began surrounding him. A second later he was rematerializing just outside of Phaser four, his eyes directly going to her body which was lying on the floor, face down. He was suddenly struck with how still she was just laying there; so peaceful, so at ease. So dead.
"Kristen?" he asked as the lights disappeared, rushing to her side. He knelt down and put a hand on her back, eyes immediately going to the large gaping wounding still smoking around her kidneys. He put his other hand on her neck and felt around for a pulse, his own beginning to race even faster as he realized she didn't have one.
What? She was alive just a few minutes ago. She can't be dead.
He got up and stumbled back, his brain a mess of things, unable to process this. In the many months he'd been Captain of this ship, not a single life had been lost. But more than anything, he was unable to process that she was dead. She'd been alive just a minute ago, informing him that the phaser was indeed offline. He could still here her voice ringing in his ears. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't.
After a split second of worry, paranoia, disappointment, and anger, he took off to the closest first aid kit and pulled the defibrillator from it, racing back to her side within seconds before flipping her over. She couldn't have been dead for long. There was still a good chance he could get her heartbeat back.
As her body rolled over onto her back and her face came into view, he was overwhelmed for a second by her. Her eyes were shut but even then, he was still taken aback by how stunning she was. Even when she was on his most hated list, he'd never once denied just how beautiful she was. And even now, as she lay there dead in front of him, she still retained that beauty, despite the terrible circumstance.
The dress she'd been wearing had been ripped and fried from the electrocution, or so he surmised. Regardless, he pushed aside the fabric and put the panels of the defibrillator on either side of her chest, charging the machine and releasing the first shock. He watched her chest rise and fall with the shock of electricity, her body going still as soon as she hit the ground. He checked her pulse again.
Still nothing.
Pike was going to kill him. He was going to kill whatever idiot engineer came down here before and left the phaser broken. This couldn't be happening. They'd just finally begun to like each other and now she was dead. He charged the machine up a few volts and released another jolt, her chest rising and falling once again. Still no pulse.
"Come on Kristen, come on" he whispered as he put a hand on her forehead, brushing away the hair. He leant forward and placed his lips ever so faintly on her forehead, closing his eyes as he charged the machine to its highest setting, turned away from her body, and released a final jolt.
He didn't have to check for a pulse this time. After the machine had given the maximum charge of voltage, he'd watched her eyelids flicker and a groan escape her lips, her head turning ever so faintly to the side before she became unconscious. His hands immediately went to her neck, his fingertips finding a faint but definitive pulse. He let out a few laughs, his hands going to his bent knees as he closed his eyes and let out a breath, a hurricane of different emotions brewing in his chest. He didn't know why this affected him the way it did. He'd never felt the way he'd felt when she was laying there, dead. He didn't feel that way a year ago when he was facing almost near certain death every other day during the Enterprise's inaugural mission to keep Earth safe from the Narada and the rouge Romulans. He hadn't felt this way a few months ago when his ship came under direct fire from a squadron of enemy war birds. He'd been in countless life or death situations before yet he'd never been affected by anything the way he'd been affected by her. It was overwhelming, confusing, and terrifying all at the same time. He'd barely known this woman for a week, yet at the thought of her dying, his mind completely went blank. He couldn't imagine it.
---------------------------
She could almost feel it all with him. She could see it in his eyes just how frightful it must have been and how affected he'd been by it all.
She was just about to open her mouth to ask something when the computer's voice interrupted them.
"Captain Kirk, you are requested on the bridge" she said from above, Kristen shutting her mouth and blushing as Kirk just smiled.
"Duty calls. What were your plans for the rest of today?" Kirk asked as they both rose from the table, walking towards the door with their mugs of coffee left steaming on the table.
"I was going to head on down to engineering and see what I can do about phaser four. I hope no one's fixed it yet, I was kind of hoping to do that on my own" she said, giving the back of her head a good scratched as Kirk laughed in such a way that confused her.
"I think you'll find that no one's touched the array. Anyways, do you want to grab dinner tonight? I have a few more questions I'd like to ask you about the whole dying thing so..." he asked, giving her a small smile as his voice tapered off.
She turned to look at him, appraising him for a few seconds, before replying.
"Yeah. I'd like that" she said, giving him a small smile that he replied to with one in return.
"Meet me in the bridge around seven?" he said as she nodded, both of them turning to go their separate ways, both with traces of silly grins playing on their lips.
------------------------
"It's a date"
"Nyota"
"What? It's totally a date. He asked you to go to dinner"
"So?"
"So, it's a date"
"It's not a date"
"Then what is it?"
"It's two people having dinner talking about a near death experience"
"Kristen, look at me"
She brought her eyes off the small metal communicator in her hands and up at Nyota, the most expectant and amused look Kristen had ever seen being directed her way.
"It's a date" the communication's officer said, closing her eyes and giving her a single nod. The pair of them had hit it off tremendously at lunch, both of them citing the notable lack of estrogen on the ship and becoming immediate friends. So at Nyota's frankness, a frankness that usually comes after years of friendship for instead for them hours, Kristen made a face, setting down the communicator and leaning forward on her elbows.
"I've never been on a date before. Am I supposed to do something different?" she asked, giving Nyota an honest look while Nyota returned it with one of disbelief.
"Whoa, wait. You've never been on a date?" she asked, taking a step back from the Communications Help Desk they were both sitting at, Kristen repairing her broken communicator.
"No" she replied honestly, getting another look of disbelief from Nyota.
"What the hell did you do with your adolescence then?" Nyota demanded, the tone of her voice alerting some of the other technicians in the room, the dark skinned beauty completely unaware of it though.
"Got my undergrad when I was 18" she supplied.
"And after that?"
"I stole a lot of cars"
A silence between them set in as Nyota took in this information, her eyes wide with incredulity.
"Have you been kissed at least?" she asked eventually, looking at Kristen once more with expectation.
Silence.
"WHAT?"
"Nyota, what part of I'm a felon did you not understand! I was in an out of prison since I was 18 years old, I didn't have time for boys!" she exclaimed in a hushed tone, trying to diffuse the situation.
"We're not talking about boys Kristen, we're talking about a boy. Just one. Are you actually telling me that a girl that looks like you has never been kissed? Not even on some playground when you were seven?" Nyota exasperated, grasping at straws now.
"Maybe. Look, I don't know. All I know is that James saved my life. The least I could do is have dinner with him" she said pointedly, giving friendly smiles to all the other technicians in the room before returning her attention back to the communicator.
"Maybe it's not a date" Nyota said assuringly after a few seconds of silence, returning to her post and leaning on the desk.
"It's not a date" she replied seconds later, not even taking her eyes off the communicator this time. She connected the small internal wires to the new battery she was installing and heard a familiar chime as the communicator activated again, Kristen smiling in success as she screwed the back plate back into place.
"But if it was a date, I'd recommend leaving here a few minutes early and taking a shower, maybe putting on a little bit of make up. If it was a date, of course" Nyota said, plucking the communicator from Kristen's hands as she spun and walked out of the room, tossing one final humorous look over her shoulder.
"It's not a date" she grumbled for the last time, gathering her tools in a vain attempt to shake the fact that she was, in fact, going on a date. She tried to shake the feeling all the way down to the phaser bay, the idea of a date with Kirk being pushed out almost instantly as she turned the corner on the hallway leading to phaser four and found a neat pile of shiny new parts waiting for her, a big red bow on top of a new rotator coil along with a note.
I wouldn't trust anyone else with turning this microwave back into a phaser. Do your thing, Cadet.
-Kirk
She smiled down at the note, an unwelcome sensation of what seemed like butterflies erupting in her stomach as she re read the letter a few more times. It was an odd sensation; one that'd she read about before but never actually experienced. Eventually, she toss the bow off the set of parts and got down to work, unable to describe the way the butterflies were flying around inside of her, but acknowledging that they were there none the less.
((Author's Note: Sup like, almost 30 reviews on that last chapter! Haha, thank you all for taking the time to review, first of all. I really can't put into words how much it means so, thanks again. Anyways, as promised, here is a new chapter! A few readers suggested how they'd love to see Kirk's reaction to Kristen's death so I kind of slipped it in here; in case you missed it, the italics portion of the chapter was told from Kirk's POV as he finds Kristen's body. Another reader suggested that Bones needs a girl too, and although I am toying with the idea of introducing a new, minor character, I really don't even know where I'd begin with that. Anyways, the next chapter is going to be the "date" although I have a feeling it's going to be quite...eventful. Also, I have some ideas for a chapter off world so, look for that in coming chapters. NEWAYZ, as the teeny boppers might say, keep reading, reviewing, and checking in! Thanks again, and I'll see you all tomorrow))