A/N. I am so glad that by this time next week I'll be done school for a month. It's been an extremely hard semester and things haven't turned out the way I would have hoped which is disappointing. But I'm trying not to focus on that right now since there's nothing I can do. Thank you for all the continued support so far. You're all amazing. I don't own anything.

The room was dark but James could still see everything. The glow from the nightlight in the corner probably helped. He sat rigid in the worn plastic chair by Logan's bed, afraid to close his eyes. His gaze drifted over to Carlos who had fallen into an uneasy sleep on his cot and then over to Kendall who hadn't moved from his place on the edge of Logan's bed. Even in the dim lighting, James could see the red-rimmed, teary brightness of the once brilliant green eyes.

Kendall had cried. He had completely fallen apart after Logan fell asleep. His amazing strength had held out just long enough for Logan and once Logan was oblivious to his surroundings, Kendall had crumpled. He had tried to spare everyone by walking out into the hallway but had he really expected that no one would follow him?

James' legs had moved of their own accord and he and Carlos were the first ones to go after Kendall. They found him huddled against the wall, sobbing as if he was in an incredible amount of pain. He didn't even notice them as they dropped down to the floor beside him until Carlos spoke up.

"Kendall?"

James' heart throbbed painfully at the broken and scared tone. Carlos should never have to sound like that. Kendall should never have to cry so hard that it was hard for him to breath. Logan should never have to suffer so much. . . damage. None of this should be happening. "I'm sorry." He said so quietly that he didn't think his friends heard him over Kendall's sobs.

But then the crying ceased and James felt himself being tugged into a hug between Kendall and Carlos. He would have started to cry then but the numb feeling still had control over him and he could only lay shaking in his friends' arms. "I'm sorry." He repeated, choking out the two words with extreme difficulty. "Do you hate me? I don't blame you if you do. I hate myself. This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been such an idiot."

"We don't hate you, James." Carlos said since the power of speech was still beyond Kendall. "You're our best friend."

"But I did this!" James said fiercely. "I did this to Logan. It's all my fault that he's so screwed up and scared and confused."

"We could never hate you." Carlos' voice was suddenly firm and stubborn.

Kendall took a deep breath and spoke then. "James, people run red lights all the time and get away with it. The one time you did it. . . this happened. Yes, it was your fault but that doesn't mean we hate you. We hate what you did and what happened because of it. But we also hate what it's doing to you." He looked at James, pain dominating any other expression in his eyes. "It's destroying you James and it scares us. We can't lose you. We need you. Logan needs you."

The mention of Logan brought tears to James' eyes but they didn't fall. "How can you trust me with Logan after what I did to him?"

"Because he trusts you. You made a mistake, James and it's changed everything for us. But we still have Logan and he needs all of us to help him." Kendall sighed and rose unsteadily to his feet. He pulled Carlos to his own feet and then offered a hand up to James.

James stared at Kendall's hand and then took it hesitantly. He was caught off guard when he was pulled upwards and then forwards into Kendall's arms. He felt Carlos' hand on his shoulder and since he couldn't speak just then he simply nodded his gratitude.

Kendall released him and forced a tiny smile to his face. "Okay. Let's go back." He straightened his shoulders, the only sign of the past emotional storm in his red and swollen eyes, and opened the door to Logan's room where the adults and Katie were still waiting.

It was now 10:30 at night. James blinked tiredly and then pinched himself to keep from nodding off. He couldn't sleep. He was afraid to sleep. His small movement caught Kendall's eye and he saw his friend look away from Logan to him.

"You're awake." Kendall sounded concerned but he also sounded surprised as if he had just noticed for the first time that James wasn't asleep. "You should lay down and try to get some sleep, James. I know you haven't been getting much rest lately."

"I'm not tired." James insisted, blushing at the automatic lie. He backtracked quickly. "I don't want to go to sleep. When I am asleep, sometimes I have dreams that everything is perfectly fine and we're all okay. It hurts too much when I wake up." He couldn't bring himself to face the undeserved sympathy in Kendall's eyes and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Hey," Kendall said softly, not wanting to wake Carlos or Logan. "James, look at me." He waited until James obeyed him and then went on. "I know that this must be killing you because it's killing me. But Logan's alive, right? He's going to be okay. Sure he might never be who he once was again but we always have hope. He could recover a lot. I know he'll always need help with a lot of things but he could get a lot better. And he's alive." Kendall put an emphasis on the word and James saw his eyes glistening once again. "He could have died, James. That would have been so much worse. We still have our, Logie. He's just a little different."

"He's not that different." Both boys jumped at Carlos' voice and they turned to see the smaller boy sit up to face them. "If you look close it's still the same Logan. He still cares about everyone else more than himself and he's still really polite and everything. He doesn't like a lot of people either. He never did. He's still the same but he's also a little different." Carlos took a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice shook a little. "Kendall is right, James. Logan's alive. That's really all that matters."

"You know that, don't you James?" Kendall asked gently.

James swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "Yeah. I do. It's just. . . hard. I still have trouble believing that all of this happened. You know the worst part? The last time Logan and I had a. . . a normal conversation, we fought. I was mad at him and he was mad at me. I wish I could have told him something differently. I wish I could have told him that he was right and that he's amazing and that. . . I'm sorry for everything." He sniffed and pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. "I wish I was nicer to him. If I had just listened to him then none of this would have happened. We'd all be sitting in 2J watching hockey or something completely normal. We'd be celebrating my birthday."

"It's your birthday?"

James jumped and turned to see that Logan was watching him. "Logie, what are you doing up?" He whispered. "You should be sleeping."

"My leg hurts again. So does my head." Logan explained with a tiny frown. But the frown was exchanged for a smile. "It's your birthday, James?"

"Yeah." James glanced at Kendall and Carlos, silently asking them what they thought should be done about Logan being awake. "It is."

"I forgot." Logan was sad again, his mood constantly swinging back and forth. "I'm sorry, James. I didn't get you any presents. When I get better, I'll get you something really awesome, okay?"

James barely noticed that Kendall had pressed the call button for a doctor to come. For the first time since Logan had first woken up, he took Logan into his arms for a very careful hug. For the first time since Logan had first woken up he felt almost happy. "I have my best buddies all with me." He whispered. "What else do I need or even want?"

Logan patted him on the back. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked James. "You look happier."

"I am happier." James said, realizing as he spoke that it was true.

"Good." Logan said in satisfaction. "I don't like it when you're sad. It makes me sad."

"Sorry, Logan. I don't want to make you sad." James ignored the opening door and the doctor who walked in. He ignored the whispered exchanges between Carlos and Kendall and the doctor. He focused on Logan.

"Well," Logan didn't even notice when more morphine was injected into him through his IV. "Sometimes we have to be sad. Because if we're happy all the time we won't know what it's like to be happy 'cause we're so used to it. Sad things make the happy things better."

A small laugh escaped James. "You're right, Logan. I still like happy things much better though."

"Well, duh." Logan rolled his eyes and yawned. "Everybody likes to be happy." He smiled up at his friends. "I don't hurt anymore. Do you hurt anymore?"

James hadn't thought about his ribs for hours. He shrugged. "A little bit, Logan. I'm okay though."

"Maybe you can ask the doctors for medicine." Logan suggested as his eyes began to close once again. "That always makes me feel better. It doesn't even hurt when they give me a needle."

"I'm glad." James was relieved when it was just him and his friends again and no one in between them. "I'm glad it helps you, Logan."

"It'll help you too." Logan promised. "Just ask."

"Maybe later. I'm okay for now." Jame watched as Logan's eyes finally closed and he drifted off once again into a medicated stupor. He sighed wearily, bringing one hand unconsciously to his ribs where a dull ache persisted. "Good night, Logan." He whispered softly.

"Lay down." Kendall ordered firmly. He took James' elbow and forced him gently to his feet and led him over to an empty cot. "You need sleep, James. If not for yourself then for Logan. You're no good to him if you can't function."

"But what if he wakes up again?" James laid down but his eyes remained wide open. "You can't stay awake all night either."

"We'll take turns." Carlos suggested then. "Kendall, wake me up in two hours and I'll keep watch. Then in two hours I'll wake you up, James. Is that okay?"

Kendall nodded and looked at James. "How does that sound? That way we can all get some rest and watch over Logan."

James didn't want to go to sleep. It wasn't the nightmares he was afraid of. It was the pleasant dreams that had been haunting him for the past two weeks. But he knew that Kendall was right and that Carlos' idea was a good one. So he nodded and shut his eyes.

He listened as Kendall moved back to Logan's bed and he listened until Carlos began to snore softly. He listened to the noises out in the hall and the steady beep of the heart monitor that told him that Logan alive. A tear slid down his cheek and the ache in his heart outweighed the ache in his ribs. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since Logan had woken up and everything had changed forever. But he focused on Kendall and Carlos' earlier words that nothing else matted but that fact that Logan was alive. He focused on their promises that they didn't hate him and that they would always be there for him even though he didn't think he deserved them. And he focused on Logan. When he focused on the good things in life it made it easier to endure the heartache that he knew would never completely leave him. For the first time in two weeks, James fell into a peaceful sleep.

A/N. I have to keep reminding myself that Logan is actually sixteen years old and not six. He and Carlos kinda switched roles, didn't they? James makes my heart break all the time and Kendall is the best big brother ever BUT HE SHOULD STOP MAKING PROMISES THAT HE CAN'T KEEP. . . Ahem. Review?