Chapter Ten – Grumpy Cats
And so the day rose that Tuesday morning.
"Okay everyone, let's get ready!" Felix said as he walked the halls of Niceland, head held up high and his heart filled with joy as usual "Feel that Spring air! Smell that fresh dew!"
"Aka, coffee?" groaned Lucy, slogging out of the apartment "Can we have COFFEE. CAW-FEE? It's better than whatever ya've been makin' us do all these years."
"Now, Lucy. Don't make me get Tammy on ya." Felix warned but the little Nicelander was not at all threatened.
"Miss Trigger-Happy an' I have come ta an agreement. We both think that from now on, ya should serve COFFEE if you're gonna make us do these somersaults every mornin'!"
"Aw, that's not true!" felix said "Tammy would never-!"
And then he saw the table under the awning, Calhoun and the others sharing hits of steaming Joe.
"AAAH! TAMERA!"
"What?" the woman said as she looked about "My boys do this. Why not share tha fun!"
"But coffee is NOT a replacement for good, wholesome EXCERSISE!" the repairman gasped, going next to his wife "An' more than that!"
"Yes?"
"Um, Kal gets a lil…um….."
The two looked over, noticing Kal standing with the other men at the table.
"So Kal, how are things this morning?" Don asked joyfully.
Kal said nothing, darkness in his eyes and without warning….
He poured the coffee onto the ground.
And hurled the cup at the brick wall, the thing shattering into pieces. The others were left speechless as the younger Nicelander marched back into the apartments, the door slamming behind him.
"That. He does that." Felix moaned, preparing himself for quiet the task "I'll be right back."
Felix returned to the apartment building, leaving Calhoun a little perplexed by what she had seen. She looked at the coffee she had brewed, the liquid still steaming.
"Okay, Hero's Duty coffee? Another thing never ta give Nicelanders."
"Mornin'!" sang a little voice from close by, one Vanellope Von Schweetz arriving "Glad ta see everyone's up!"
"What are ya doin' here, munchkin?" the Marine asked.
"I took a day off!" the girl grinned "I mean, Niceland is free of Big Gene for tha week so I might as well have some fun while I can!"
"Wait, so you're playin' hooky?" Ralph said, sounding disappointed "Young lady, that's not somethin' a PRESIDENT would do!"
"Well, I'm bein' a normal kid now!" the girl grinned "An' I can spend my days off just like everyone else so boo!"
"Alright, but don't make a habit of this." Ralph said in worry "I mean, ya worked so hard ta get BACK inta tha game. What's it sayin' you're just springin' out ta mess with people?"
"C'mon, ya know me better than that, Stink-Breath! Trust me!"
"Nel, are you okay?"
Meg's little voice hit the trio's ear, the three of them turning to see the periwinkle Nicelander walking beside the woman in purple and from the look on her face…
"I take it things didn't get better last night?" Vanellope said.
"Sure doesn't look it." Agreed Ralph.
"I'm FINE, Meggy." Nel pouted, trying to walk away from her friend but Meg stuck by her "So there's no need ta worry about me, kay?"
"I-I just wanted to make sure." The other woman said bashfully, stopping in her tracks as she looked down at the ground "Usually when you're this upset, something bad has happened and…"
"Oh, darn it Megan." Nel said, sensing that she had upset her neighbor a little too much "Uuurgh, don't act like I'm angry at ya. I'm not!"
"O-Okay…..but is there anything I can do?"
"Ya think ya can turn Norwood into stuffed cat with one of your teas?" Nel grumped, pixelated question marks popping above Meg's head.
"…..HUH?"
"So Miss Nel n' Dr. Norwood are STILL angry with each other? What was that thing they broke?!"
"Kid, don't bother with all'a this. They have tiffs like this all tha time." Said Ralph.
"Yeah, but this looks super-duper-giant-everlastin'-gobstoppers BAD!" said Vanellope.
"Why are ya so worried about it, kiddo?" asked Ralph, a little surprised that Vanellope was taking such interest in the two all of a sudden.
"Cuz I know love when I sees it, Ralph!" Vanellope replied "'Member when we baked pies with 'em tha first time! I knew it right then an' there that those two LOVED each other! They loved each other just as much as Mayor Bootyshort an' Miss Mary!"
"Well…..you're kinda right on that point." Ralph said with a nervous chuckle "Still though, why of all things does this bother ya?"
"Be-CAAAAAAUSE-" the girl began, putting her hands on her hips "If there is one thing I hate worse than greasy people tryin' ta unplug games, it's seein' people fall outta love with each other!"
"Wow, aren't ya tha lil match-maker." Calhoun snorted a laugh, flicking Vanellope on her head.
"Nah, that's Tori."
"Torvald?" Felix scratched his head as he walked out of the apartment, everyone noticing he looked like he wrestled with someone.
Not a word was spoken on the observation.
"Yeah, she has a WHOOOOOLE list of people she puts together because of love! Ya should see her book collection!"
The adults stopped, giving the girl….rather disturbed looks.
"UM. That's NOT matchin' makin'…." Said Ralph "That sounds like an OBSE-!"
"OBVIOUSLY-!" Felix jumped in, covering the Wrecker's mouth "SHE has a lotta time on her hands so-!"
"We can all HER for advice!" said Vanellope.
"Kid, no. Please don't."
"Trust me on this one, Ralphie-Boo! We get Tori on this, Miss Nel and Nor-Cat will wanna get married at tha drop of a hat."
"YEAH. RIGHT." Ralph said as he looked back at the two Nicelanders, both of them avoiding eye contact with each other "SOMETHIN' gonna get dropped an' it won't be good."
"Whoa, look at tha time." Felix said, catching a glimpse of the wall-clock hanging above the arcade door "We got five gang! Get into position!"
Calhoun smooched her husband "See ya later, Honey-Glows. Ya KNOW I'm jettin' here as soon as tha clean up takes place."
"Love ya, Honey." The game's hero sighed, hearts popping over his head.
"Okay, okay. Enough with tha fluff. We got work ta look forward too." Teased Ralph, sticking out his tongue "An' kid?"
"Yes?"
"Ya know that drill. Ya can watch but keep outta tha danger zones. Wouldn't want ya ta get too hurt, ya know."
"Maybe ya can go easy on tha buildin' today?" the girl cooed "Avoid tha penthouse so I can? Hmm?"
"MY HOUSE."
"BUT IT SMELLS LIKE FARTS!"
"It does NOT." Ralph said offended.
"Guys, tha kids are here."
And with everything set into place, the games began. The Nicelanders got into place but two figures were had not arrived yet.
"Hey, where's Nel and Norwood?" asked Pearl "They're late! They know they have to cover for Gene and Mary!"
"We're-! I'm not late!"
Everyone turned around, Nel coming up the stairs still looking unlike her normal self.
"Um, you okay there, hun?" Don asked in concern but the small Nicelander pushed him aside. Or at least she TRIED to. Rather than pushing him to the side she tripped, bouncing off his chest and stumbling back.
Don was as much of a brick-wall as Ralph was.
"Ah."
"Don't worry about ME, Donny. I can handle myself."
All eyes went to Nolan, as if they expected HIM to tackle whatever issues were going on with his baby cousin.
"Wait-! I don't know-!"
The quarter-drop sounded, a great relief for Nolan who wanted nothing more than to get into play as to avoid any more grief.
"Alright, guys! Let's go!"
"But we can't start without Norwood." Said Tony "Ralph needs to throw him!"
"Norwood?"
"NORWOOD!"
Where was Norwood?
A match was lit.
Into the pipe it went.
"NO."
He blew the pipe out.
Then relit the match and relit his pipe.
"NO!"
The man was a bundle of nerves, his body trembling as he sat a his kitchen table, an ENTIRE box of used matches piled in front of him, his Cherrywood pipe in the other.
He couldn't face her.
He couldn't face ANYONE!
"NORWOOD!"
"NORWOOD, GET OUT HERE!"
He didn't WANT to face anyone but he had to.
He could already hear the gamers filing into the arcade and with no other option, the man slogged out of his apartment, greeted by the disapproving looks of the others.
"Dude, c'mon!" said Lucy "One more second an' ya would have caused an uproar!"
"Maybe ya needed some of that coffee Kal drank." Said Roy, worryingly. Kal stood next to him, the man quaking violently as he clutched onto the pin of his pie.
"DAMN IT ROY, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COFFEE!"
"Kal, not now."
It felt as if the entire arcade were bearing down on the Nicelander but the worse glance came from Nel….perhaps because she was REFUSING to look at him. Her back was turned, all focus put upon the view outside the apartment and as Norwood tried to approach her.
"Nel…."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"BWHOA!"
Ralph's massive fist EXPLODED form the window, his tight grip CRUSHING Norwood where he stood.
"GWARK!"
"Whoa, sorry about that." Ralph whispered as he pulled the red-head out, Norwood's face starting to turn purple "I'm so used ta bein' a bit rougher with Gene. I'll try ta take it easy on ya, okay?"
Take it EASY?
It was going to take a lot more for things to get 'EASY' for Norwood that day and as Ralph gave his throw….
HOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURGH!
There went Norwood into the dark woods.
"Hello darkness….we meet again." The man said pitifully as he glided through the skies "Please let this day pass before- AUUURCK!"
The red-head met face-long into the trunk of a tree, his body sliding down before landing with a whomp on the grass.
"So. Pain. MEEEEEEEEEEEEH-ARCK!"
Hitting the tree may have been bad.
But it still felt better than the cold shoulder Nel was giving him.
"Mmmm, I've always wanted to have breakfast ice-cream." Gene said in pure bliss as he finished off the last sundae "And it was better than I expected the FOURTH time around!"
"Uuurgh, why did I listen to you?!"
Gene looked before him, Mary laying on her side on the floor.
"Don't tell me you've given up already."
"*Bwaaarp!* Gene, I don't know whether or not this is a programmed thing or if it really is your talent but UUUUGH! Not everyone can eat as much as you can!"
It had appeared that the Mayor was taking full advantage of the unlimited room service he and his wife were given as the room was decked out with SEVERAL empty plates, the majority of which the 'little' Nicelander had consumed himself. Of course he was more than happy to 'share' the delights with his little darling but not even half-way through round two did she find herself in the face of defeat all the while Gene kept going.
For as much as Mary loved Gene, there was one thing of his that she would never be able to defeat, even with her superior baking skills.
That appetite.
HOW CAN A MAN SO SMALL EAT SO MUCH?!
"Well, you said you wanted me to be happy." The man said as he put the sundae cup with the others "This makes me happy."
Mary rolled over on her side, far too full to muster up the energy to give the man a well-deserved whap on the nose.
"You said that during the first hour…." She moaned "You said that during the SECOND! THE THIRD! What time is it now?!"
The man looked at the clock on the counter, another forkful of pancakes going into his mouth.
"Mmmph, ten thirty?"
If she could only get up, Mary would have INDEED whapped Gene good on his nose for that!
"Ice-cream…" she began "Then pancakes, then grilled cheese sandwiches, then you wanted strawberries, then blueberries, then blueberry waffles then MORE BLUEBERRIES AND THEN A HOTDOG AND THEN-!"
The woman hadn't even eaten MOST of what Gene had ordered but she felt like she belonged beached on the sands right outside their hotel window.
"How….how do you do it?" she moaned "How….how can you do this?!"
"Ooooh, I'm sorry." Gene cooed as he went over this Mary, trying to lift her up but she pushed his hands away.
"No, the floor feels good."
"Ah-ha….maybe you'd feel better if we walked this off."
"I can barely move!" the woman whined, her legs kicking in the air "You expect me to WALK after all of this?!"
"Well, after spending so much time locked up in here LAST night we are not going to repeat the same." Gene said as he picked his wife up, grabbing one of the day bags and slinging over his shoulder. Mary on the other hand felt like an over-heated bag of wet cement, legs and arms dangling from his hold.
"I swear, if we go outside and you beg me to buy you more ice-cream I'm going to kick your butt SO. HAAAAARD."
"I'll give you a chance to do that later dear…." The man said as he shut the door behind himself "Right now, let's get some sun."