Izaya POV
I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling tiredly. I rubbed the back of my head which was still sore and pounding.
"Stupid yellow-scarves, stupid Masa, stupid alcohol, stupid Izumi, stupid everything!" I muttered. How could everything go so wrong, so fast? How could the appearance of one woman change so much?
It had only been a night ago when she carried me home and put me to bed (fully dressed, like a child) but then, she just left. She used to hold me every night until I fell asleep in her arms, stroking my back and saying stupid but sweet words...
That's before you murdered her, Izaya.
With that thought, I curled into a small ball, pulling my legs to myself. A memory slid back into my conscious mind, a memory I had been trying to forget for nearly a decade... I feel old now...
Izumi leaned over me, pressing me back against the wall and making a sort of cage with her arms. Her hands splayed on the wall on either side on the wall on either side of me. I tensed but didn't freak out or panic, I had grown used to her acting creepy. Most of the time, she acted frightening to elicit reactions from people. Cute little Izumi loved to be the center of my attention.
However, she surprised me that day. One of her hands left the wall to take one of my own, threading our fingers together.
"Izaya-kun," she whispered my name sweetly into my ear, sighing in what seemed like utter bliss as she bent her head to kiss my neck. She traced gentle patterns with her tongue, sucking some places and nibbling others. Suddenly, she bit down on the most sensitive part of my neck. I gave a soft gasp as little tears caught in my eyelashes. I found myself pressing into her all the same, arching my back, letting my head fall back for the possessive bite.
She licked the spot on my neck soothingly as to apologize, whispering sweet words.
I never returned them, same as her caresses, but hearing them brought a smile to my lips. Izumi was by far the silliest human I have ever met. She always told me how beautiful I was, (maybe physically), how gentle, (how would she know, I never really touched her?) how sweet, (the very idea of that one made me laugh) how perfect I was.
Not yet, I thought, but I will be.
I giggled, "You have a major perception bias."
She gave an exceedingly rare, true smile, "The radiance of the one you love always shines brightest," she murmured, covering my lips with hers. Most of the time, when she kissed me she was in complete control, everything routine, but this kiss was completely different. She kissed me with such a level of neediness and vigor that it was almost frightening. Her lips moved against mine with a hunger and passion that threatened to swallow me alive. Out of all of these things, what surprised me the most is that I couldn't taste a bit of chloroform on her lips.
I was dizzy and flushed when she broke the kiss a few minutes later, halfway through I had forgotten how to breath. Smoothly, I covered my shock and dizziness with a smile, "Well, tonight must be special! Izumi isn't drugging me before taking me to bed!"
"I always try to wash it off," the older teen panted, for a moment, I wondered why she had allowed herself to become so vulnerable, "I just took extra precaution tonight."
She bent down lower and started to kiss my collar bone, her words just got mushier and mushier.
I had to fight back the giggles every time she used the word "love", it was such a human word for a person who hated the creatures as much as Izumi. Humans always seemed to think that love meant forever, but in reality it was a silly, temporary word. Eventually, Izumi like everyone else would grow tired of me and move onto someone else. Gods are the only creatures that will experience eternal love from any creature on earth.
"You're so damn young..." she whispered, cupping my cheek, "you haven't even turned fifteen yet..."
Izumi's love was especially temporary, because she was a pedophile, who else would have sex with a thirteen year old child? Or have sex with a 14 year old child that would start high-school next year as a way to celebrate their eighteenth birthday?
That was what I expected to happen, I expected her touching to get more intimate leading up to sex, but that wasn't what happened at all.
"I have something for you," she whispered.
Once she released my hands, I clapped, "A present!"
She slipped her hand into her white coat pocket. I expected to see a condom or something else related to sex but that wasn't what it was. I was a red velvet box.
My facade dropped to the floor like a cheap Halloween mask, my heart leapt into my throat. I was confused, shocked and nervous and I didn't even know why.
She opened the little box, in it was a shiny, platinum ring. She leaned into me, her lips brushing mine with every syllable, "Marry me."
Suddenly, her love felt very permanent... terrifyingly so. People didn't marry the meaningless flings they had when they were teenagers. Pedophiles didn't marry their victims. That was the breaking point, before I even understood what was going on my vision darkened briefly and my body seemed to move of its own accord.
Next thing I saw was her body falling back on the floor, blood soaking her chest where I realized my knife had penetrated. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in a silent scream as she landed, in her right hand was the small ring I have worn every day since. I took it from her, shaking and tucking my bloody knife away in my pocket. I ran away and never came back.
"I killed Izumi Chang," I whispered to myself though I found it hard to believe, "But here she is."
I played with the ring that I kept all these years for only God knows why, using my thumb to twirl it around my finger slowly. I wasn't so sentimental as to wear it on my ring finger, and I had purchased another ring for my right hand so no one would ask me why I just wore the one. My secrets are mine, and my past was my biggest secret of all. I slipped the platinum ring off my finger, the only difference between the ring I had bought and the one she gave me was that the one she gave me was engraved on the inside. The radiance of the one you love always shines brightest. It was always her special way of telling me to screw myself when I told her I was no good for her.
At first, the thought of her being alive terrified and dumbfounded me, but now that the initial shock had worn off it just annoyed the hell out of me. She broke the rules of my game. If you die, you lose. It was the one rule that always stayed true when all the others were in fluctuation, it had completely failed me.
I kept the ring Izumi gave me to remind myself to not end up like her, to not give my heart to someone who didn't deserve it, someone who would hurt me, to never love at all. Despite all the rumors in Ikebukuro about me being an easy lay, Izumi was my last, I hadn't ever even been kissed by another person. If Izumi though I was going to lie down and become her subservient little sex-pet; however, she was sadly mistaken.
My head's throbbing worsened and my eyebrows furrowed. I knew I should probably make an appointment with Shinra but I didn't think I could stand his questions.
"I'm an informant!" I sprung out of bed, "Why am I trying to figure all this out by myself?"
I crossed my room and went over to my beloved computer, sitting down and typing Izumi's name into my special search engine.
Most every entry under her name said the same thing, Izumi Chang, youngest CEO in Japan died on the eve of her 18th birthday. The circumstances of her death are still unclear. Other entries were about her life and her funeral, apparently, her father "had her body cremated and scattered".
"No body, no evidence," I whispered softly. I read through every single article and couldn't even find a single picture of her body.
I sighed and leaned back after hours of staring at my computer, sighing and rubbing my eyes. I looked over at the clock. 2:36 a.m. It had been almost twelve hours since Masa had pushed me down, straddled my waist, scared the living shit out of me. I thought I felt helpless when Izumi had me pinned, but she was at least being predictable for the most part, what Masa had done was completely out of character. He was supposed to glare at me, maybe call me a name or two and then leave. He wasn't supposed to tackle me. Did I really appear that weak?
I sighed, giving up on the machine in front of me, "I suppose I'll just have to take care of this myself." I glanced at the time again. Tomorrow.
The next day I left late and went about Shinjuku and Ikebukuro. I went about asking people questions, threatening people and playing with thugs. One kid told me his whole life story and how he stole twenty bucks from a pregnant woman once. Still, known of them seemed to know a thing.
All I got from any of them was, "Oh her? Didn't she die?"
"Oh, her? She died a couple years ago I heard."
"She died."
"I heard she was murdered by some little whore."
By about the 19th guy I was losing my patience, "Don't give me that crap, I know she's alive. I saw her."
"That's not possible. She's dea~" I pressed my knife into the sensitive flesh of the man's jugular, he cringed.
"Say she's dead one more time and I'll make sure someone matches that description." I said to him in a low, threatening voice.
He shivered, "Do you know what the Chang's are capable of? Much worse things than death."
I gave him my coldest glare; I wasn't playing a game tonight. I wanted answers, "And I'm not?"
He sighed, seeming to be mauling it over, "Look, I wasn't lying when I said what I said about Izumi wasn't a lie. Izumi isn't alive anymore, but she doesn't even know~"
"IZAYA!"
Shit. But I guess I should have seen this coming, I had come to Ikebukuro a few times and I hadn't seen him until then.
"Hey, Shizu~" without warning or provocation a vending machine came flying at me. I bent back and avoided it; unfortunately he scared away the nice thug I was talking to.
"How many times have I told you to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro!" he shouted, it really wasn't a question. Before I even had the time to come up with a witty comeback, he was running at me with a street sign. I ran off as fast as my legs could carry me as we began our usual game, but there was a distinct difference this time. As my blood pressure spiked my head throbbed painfully, causing my vision to blur and my steps to become uneven as I ran.
"What's the matter, IZAYA, getting tired?!"
I turned around to respond and maybe tease him a bit, suddenly a yield sign smashed into my side. I cringed, eyes watering but stayed silent, I wasn't about to give this monster the satisfaction of making me scream. I ran backward clutching my side, I'm pretty sure he had broken most if not all of my ribs on that side. My head throbbed, my ribs hurt, my lungs were burning like hell's fire as I sucked in big breaths of frigid air, and I was beginning to see little black dots in the corner of my eyes. If I didn't stop running soon I was going to fall.
"IZAYA!" He swung at me and I avoided, but not without falling back on my heels over the side of the road.
I was going to die.
Before I understood what was happening I was sliding face first down the roadside ditch.
And I knew I wouldn't be here if I hadn't murdered the only person who ever loved me.
Review for next chapter!