A/n: Hey sorry for the long delay; I've been working heaps in the last four days and then yesterday was father's day. But here it is; interlude 2.
Small warning for language. Also at one point Dean uses a derogatory term for extreme Christians. This Stance is taken from the episode 5.04, the End, and is not my personal sentiment. No offense is ment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Poem extract ts Eliot.
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Interlude 2
Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone
Ts. Eliot, the hollow men.
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Castiel remembers being human.
The years in the absence of Dean had been less painful than he might have supposed them to be. Between Gabriel and Samuel, unexpected gifts from a forgiving father, Castiel has not been alone in his quest to restore Heaven. He has been blessed with the company of old friends and the power necessary to create change. He has been allowed his beautiful, confusing, fragile memories of mortality.
Castiel remembers; the quiet laughter before a hunt. Sam bent over some old tomb, his soft mutterings almost soothing. The way Dean's hands curved over cloth and oil when he cleaned the guns, how Cas could not look away from it.
Castiel remembers heat and cold and heartache and the rawness of being alive. Oh yes, Castiel Remembers.
But Castiel is not human, even if he remembers being so. Castiel is not, and angels have a tendency when they do feel, to be ruled by that single emotion, to let it govern their reasoning.
This is not an excuse, Castiel knows he has none suitable. It's not an excuse or exoneration, it's an explanation. Because while there are many logical, strategic reasons for doing what he did, they are not the reason he did it.
He just wanted Dean to be safe.
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Fort Morgan, Colorado
After the restless spirit was taken care of they'd headed north. Dean had found several suspicious deaths in the newspaper that looked to be the work of a coven. Castiel had been uneasy with the hunt, tied as closely as witches were with demons, but his fear had been unfounded. The hunt had been successful and there was no hint that any notice had been taken of their activities.
They are in their motel room with the two single beds, as all their rooms the last two months have had. Castiel does not understand the necessity, as he does not sleep, but Dean always insists, an uncomfortable look on his face as he mutters about appearances. Castiel imagines it has something to do with sex; most human taboos seem to.
Dean has been quiet for the last hour or so and Castiel knows he is thinking about Indiana- the woman and boy he left there- as he often does. Dean has never talked about returning, never even threatened it in the midst of his irritation over Castiel's silence, but Castiel knows he thinks of it. He knows this, just as he knows that Dean will not.
For all he loves the humans he left, for all he promised a well-meaning Samuel, Castiel understands why he is almost relieved by the departure.
Hunting is in Dean's blood, not just the weighty blood of his father, but that of his mother too, whose line stretches back all the way to Samuel Colt himself. Dean and Sam were breed for this. It is but one tragedy among a vast multitude for the Winchester brothers; that they can never truly find happiness away from it, however much they might wish it. Even with the reconfiguration of everything he was made of, Sam is still most contented when he is on assignment. Castiel doubts that Lisa could change what Grace and a thousand years could not.
It is late now, the slight rat-tat of drizzle hitting the roof. Castiel moves over to the coffee maker in the kitchenette, deciding on making himself a cup. This small pleasure of his had apparently 'freaked the Bejesus' out of Dean when he'd first ordered one at a dinner, two days after their reunion. But Samuel has long ago convinced him that they must not give up all their humanity. Why else would they have been chosen to lead this revolution if not for their better understanding of God's most-beloved creation?
Certainly Cas often thinks that Samuel and Gabriel spend too much of their time understanding. He still does not believe that 'Christ would have totally approved baby bro' as Gabriel told him when he caught them, not only with alcohol, but a quantity Gabriel broke the eighth human law of their father's to procure. Samuel had at least attempted to look ashamed, but then Gabriel had turned the beer into water and then once again into wine as proof of Christ's 'coolness' and Samuel had not been able to contain his own laughter.
Returning to the present, Castiel catches Dean giving him a long searching look and removes the coffee cup from his lips "Yes Dean?" he asks.
Dean gets an embarrassed expression on his face. "You just looked, amused." He says awkwardly. "You know, for you anyway, and I was just wondering what…I mean, not exactly a whole lot going on good old Fort Morgan."
"I was mentally recounting one of the transgression committed by two of my brothers." He tells Dean, "they had taken some human beer without purchasing it properly from its former owner. Upon my inquiry, they informed me that the Son of God would have approved because of one of his most famous miracles."
Dean's eyebrows bunch, as if he can' quite believe what Castiel is saying, though he is reasonably sure that he spoke quite clearly. "You mean two angels stole a six pack and then said that Christ would have liked it? " He says incredulously, "I can't decide if that's awesome or kind of terrifying."
At Castiel's confused look he continues, "Well if they're happy to break all the little rules about stealing and eating and all that, what's their stance on the big ones, like 'I shalt not smite those who piss me off?"
Castiel would have liked to ease Dean's fear but there have been many nights of Gabriel recounting in full, all the variety of ways that he smote human 'douchebags' during his time as the pagan god Loki. Castiel is mostly certain that now he has retuned to his heavenly duties, Gabriel would restrain himself but he cannot be entirely sure.
Dean seems to read this in his face. "Oh my god, they totally would, wouldn't they!"
"One may be tempted." Castiel settles on at last because this he knows is true, knows there are lines Sam will never cross. "But the other would certainly stop him."
Dean looks away and then back again, his hands moving against one another in a slightly nervous fashion. "You never talk about it." He tells Castiel, "This is the most I've ever heard you say about Upstairs. And yeah, I didn't give you the best send off." He admits and Castiel recalls once again that last conversation in the car, Dean vibrating with rage and grief. He's never really blamed Dean for that reaction, not when his friend had just lost Sam and Castiel was leaving to rebuild the establishment that had, in part, caused his demise.
"But, I mean," Dean continues, looking distinctly uncomfortable, as he often does when he is forced to speak on matters concerning his emotions "you can…you know, talk about it."
Castiel smiles, not his reserved mouth twitch, but the one Samuel had made him practice after he'd caused a small Egyptian girl in the fourth century to start crying. Dean gives him a look filled with almost as much fear as that child and Castiel reins it back slightly. "Thank you," he tells him.
Dean is still staring at him. "Yes. Right. Cas, you need to warn people before do that. Because that was scary. Like really, really scary."
Dean is attempting to draw his attention away from his previous offer, due to his dislike of showing his personal feelings. Castiel lets him, even though there are things Dean should know, things Castiel should tell him. Things Castiel will not.
Samuel has been in heaven a long time now, but always the separation from his brother lies as a visible wound. Dean is no different, perhaps worse in his grief, still believing Sam to be endlessly suffering at the hands of Lucifer.
It was one thing, when the First Law stood between them, an uncrossable divide, but now that he has broken this he has little justification for his silence. His only rationalization is that if Dean knew of Sam's salvation, he would insist on reconciliation and Castiel sacrifice will have been for nothing.
His intrusion upon Dean, whom none were allowed to touch, will not be cast aside lightly. Will likely plunge Heaven into the war Castiel has been avoiding since he began its restructure. It will be worth this, to Castiel in his selfish passions, if Dean immerges whole and unaffected by it. But should Dean become aware of Samuel, it will be impossible to keep him safe from the hostilities.
Dean will become embroiled once more; in the corruption of Angels and he will lose even more of himself than he has previously.
And Castiel can't. He just can't.
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"I think Denver next." Dean tells him some time later.
He is stretched out on the bed, which is Castiel's in name only. His bare feet are shoved on top of the pillows at the headboard and he has the laptop open before him. "There's been some real strange murders up there recently. I think it might be a shapeshifter." He finishes with a grimace.
Castiel nods, though he needn't bother. Dean will hunt what he finds and Cas is only willing to challenge him on this over demons. It isn't so much the hunting that is important to the angel (though he knows it makes Dean happy) but rather the hunter's nomadic lifestyle. The more they move around, the harder they are to find, especially with the symbols carved forever into Dean's ribs. Cas, who has spent years in the company of Gabriel, also now knows far more about hiding his grace than he used to.
He knows they cannot hide forever. Knows that in some ways he is merely delaying the inevitable, but he hopes if they run far enough and fast enough, the solution may fall into their lap. It would not be the first time. That is the luck of the Winchester's after all; miraculous and terrible by turns.
The door swings open suddenly, even though it was locked, and Castiel's heart plummets. Murphy is every part the cruel force Samuel had claimed him to be and this time it seems, they are destined for the latter brand of Winchester fortune.
Cas knows Dean does not recognize the creature that walks through the doorway. Does not know that the shotgun he is already leveling will be useless. The skin worn is different; younger and larger, but Castiel can sense the grace in all its age and splendor, second only now to Gabriel's. Of all the angels to find them this is the one he feared the most, his main combatant in the struggle for Heaven's fate. He takes a step forward, placing himself between Dean and his brother. "Hello Raphael."
Behind him Dean's grip on the rifle twitches and a low curse slips from his lips. Castiel ignores him, all his attention focused on the other archangel. "May I enquire as to your ability to find us?" he asks.
Raphael is different from the other angels Castiel has opposed before, he does not mock them like Zachariah or sneer as Uriel might have. There is anger in Raphael certainly. Distain and disgust are just as prevalent a force upon him, as the other two had openly displayed. He keeps himself in check however, plays his cards with a softer hand. It makes him unbelievably more dangerous.
"The system was already in place, from your last attempt at stealth Castiel," Raphael rumbles, "all that was needed was to seek contact with those sources once more."
"There was a Bible Basher outside the laundry mat yesterday." Dean hisses from behind him, "He gave me a funny look."
Raphael shifts his focus from angel to human and smiles in a fashion that, while intended to be friendly, is nothing short of predatory. "Dean Winchester, just the man I came to visit." He says.
Dean has lowered the shotgun, and drawn a knife instead. Castiel does not understand his friends reasoning in this decision; both are ineffectual against warriors of the Lord. Dean glares at Raphael and his voice is scornful, "And why is that?" he rebuffs.
Raphael goes to take a step forward, but stops at the threatening look Castiel shots him. He grins at the angel, bright malice filling the expression.
"For the rings of course." He says innocently. "You were a perfect guardian while you were protected by God's ruling, but now that Castiel here has interference by Heaven and Hell upon you and yours possible, they are no longer safe in your care. The demons will not stop their hunt for you until they posses them. Surely the attack has taught you that at least. Better I take them."
The knife Dean previously held at the ready has dropped to his side and Castiel is terrified by what Raphael knows. He is far too smug for this to be a ruse.
"What attack." Dean asks slowly.
Raphael frowns at him, appearing almost genuinely confused, "the one upon your previous residence. It cost the life of the human woman with whom you committed sins of the flesh, though it seems as if the child survived. We cannot be sure however as we have yet to locate him." He looks up and down Dean's shocked form, triumph barely concealed. "You mean you did not know what your abandonment cost?" he asks.
Dean is shaking, his knuckles white where he grips the knife. "I- Your lying you fucker." He spits, but there is doubt in his tone.
Raphael stalks forward and this time Cas does not stop him. "What else has Castiel kept from you?" He questions softly. "What else has he deemed you not worthy of knowing? Surely he has divulged the fate of your brother. Not even he could be that cruel."
Cas closes his eyes. He has already lost.
"What about Sam?" Dean growls "What the hell do you know about my brother?"
Raphael laughs in quiet incredulity, his amazement momentarily overriding his ability to fake sincerity. "You mean that you don't know?" he exclaims, "you mean to tell me that Cas has let you believe Samuel to be locked in the darkest regions of the underworld? That he has not told you of Samuel glorious ascension?"
Dean stutters another half-hearted denial, but Raphael cuts over him, for the first time his revolution tainting his tone. "Oh yes Dean, Samuel fancies himself an Angel now. As if we of the Garrison don't know he stole his Grace, and from whom. He and the Great Coward Gabriel and the Rebellious Castiel here are in cohorts to take over Heaven. A familiar story, don't you think Dean? And one that did not end well for my dear brother Lucifer or poor Michael."
His face contorts as he continues, "Filthy creatures they are, your brother and mine, who immerse themselves in human pleasures and flout the lesser laws of our order. But neither as much as Castiel here, it seems, who treads upon your free will. Your gift from our Father, that which you prize above all else. He treats it as nothing more than an inconvenience, to the ruin of all us."
Castiel glares fiercely at Raphael, unwilling to hear another ill word from the one who once killed him, about those he considers his family. "You would be wise to hold your tongue about that which you do not and cannot understand!" Cas growls, "What you claim as taint, is the Truth of our father, everlasting in it's brilliance. Your failure to see that is no doubt the reason he continues to refuse to appear to you. Samuel is not the abomination, he is The Way. The means by which we may bridge the gap between our kind and Humanity. He is also your equal brother, as are Gabriel and myself, a fact you would be wise to remember."
To Castiel's surprise, Raphael does not look chastened; rather as if he has won their quarrel and his eyes are looking past Castiel.
Looking at Dean, who in his unfettered anger at Raphael provocation, Cas had forgotten was standing there, listening to every word he spoke.
Castiel opens his mouth, floundering for an explanation and unable speak anything. Dean is looking at him like he is every vile thing that he has killed in the dark. The worst sort of traitor imaginable and it conjures a response Castiel is ill-used to; has experienced a bare handful of times.
"The rings Human." Raphael interrupts their impasse, drawing Dean attention back to him "If you would be so kind."
Dean glances at Castiel "I'm gonna want a fucking explanation for this later." He growls softly, before returning to Raphael and replying in a louder voice, "Yeah about that. See, Angels? About as trust worthy as you can throw 'em. Me handing over items which seal away your much worshiped big bro? Really not going to happen."
Raphael growls, having long ago forgone all pretenses, "And what makes you think you have a choice, Mud Ape?"
Dean grins, victorious and feral, "But the systems were already in place from the last time you guys were dickholes." He mocks, "All we need is the connection. And me? I got myself an addition to that useful little anti possession mark in the last six years." Still smiling, he slices the knife down palm and rips his shirt open.
Castiel just has time to see the black-inked Enochian on previously unmarked skin before Dean slams his bleeding hand over it and Castiel and Raphael both are ripped from the motel room and out into the vastness of the Cosmos.
-t.b.c-
review? Pwease? XD
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Cookie for Neph. Parody. AU. Unrelated to Sold My Red Horse.
So, the cage hadn't exactly been everything Sam had expected. He'd been thinking Eliot reversed, with a bang not a whimper, or quite possibly Frost's I hold with those who favor fire.
What he'd gotten was the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
No body was wearing enough clothes, the devil kept breaking into song and to be honest, he didn't know any of them enough to see that much of their junk.
Except for Adam, who was his brother and Sam wouldn't ever have want to see that much of.
And just when he'd thought that his younger brother had managed to do what years of his older brother (the king of all vulgar and debauched activities) could not and drive him completely mental, Gabriel had turned out in a lai and a grass skirt and said that their sober driver was here.
Sam's fairly sure that that, was the exact moment he fell in love with him.
.
Heaven also, not what he pictured, it turns out. Not that he'd been expecting much after the last time he was here and just getting his hands on a pair of pants had seemed like eternal salvation as far as he was concerned. But yeah, the place resembled more than anything, an English gentlemen's club, which Gabriel grinning had dubbed the executive lounge.
At the time, Sam hadn't gotten the joke. It wasn't until later when he was discussing rules with Cas, who passingly mentioned that humans weren't allowed in this area, that Sam realized this had been Gabriel's eat-the-paste-special way of telling him he was in the angel club.
Which Lucifer and Michael are also still in unfortunately. Sam's kind of convinced that trying to destroy the planet should get you expelled or at lest suspended, but apparently not. They're on probation, according to a grinning Gabriel, for being naughty little seraphs and mucking with the greater plan. Gabriel has taken to calling them probies whenever he can. As a younger brother also, Sam can appreciate this initiative.
In any case, god is still merciful, because Adam has gone to eternal rest with his mother. Sam is unspeakably glad. Love the kid he might, but he'll never be entirely comfortable around him again. There's only so much nudist musical theater he can take.
So, this is life, Michael and Lucifer performing menial tasks for them while Gabriel constantly invents new and interesting ways to try get into Sam's pants and Castiel tries to save the known universe in one corner and gets cranky if you disturb him.
It's all going rather swimmingly until Gabriel, as if noticing his absence for the first time, pipes up "Hey, where's Raphy?"
Michael and Lucifer look up from where they're cleaning the carpet with a single grain of rice and indicate their ignorance. Sam himself, has never meet Raphael and says as much.
As one they turn to the corner where Cas' mutterings have stopped and said angel has gone very, very still.
"Cassy?" Gabriel says in a friendly tone "What did you do to your big brother?"
Castiel straightens "I…I did nothing harmful to Raphael." He says at last and Sam doesn't doubt it's the truth.
"I…I have an errand to run." Castiel continues, not looking at any of them "Something rather important seems to have slipped my mind." He takes off at- not a run but only because Sam thinks he's actively trying not to.
Gabriel rubs his hands together gleefully "Ohhh he's in so much shit." He cackles "Daddy's gonna kill him."
Sam sits up as Michael and Lucifer return to their impossible task. "I'm sure Chuck will cut him some slack, he's been a little busy saving all of creation after all."
Gabriel snorts "Yeah, but Raphy's been in that circle for months! And he's really not going to care about the state of the cosmos. Just that he's got Andrew Lloyd Webber stuck in his head."
Sam eyes widen "But…you mean you already knew? Why didn't you remind Cas earlier then?"
Gabriel lops an arm over his shoulder "I wasn't board enough." He tells Sam seriously. One eyebrow rises in inquisition and Sam knows exactly what he's going to ask.
"So, wanna make out?"
Yeah, again, no comment.