Well, here it is! The final chapter! I'm sorry that I got grounded and took two weeks to publish this but better late then never right? Exactly! Thank you all sooo much for actually sticking around and reading the whole story! And thank you to everyone who reviewed, if I didn't get any reviews I probably wouldn't have written this story so quick, even though it feels like I've been writing it forever. Feel free to message me if you want to request that I write something, I'm always looking for new ideas to occupy my time! Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and let you read!
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Standing next to the Broflovski's at Kyle's funeral was strange. We were all crying hysterically, unable to control ourselves as he was lowered into the ground. Its funny how life works out isn't it? When I think about how much time I wasted thinking about how he would react if I told him my feelings rather than actually telling him I want to start crying all over again. After Kyle died I learned from his mom how he felt, I never knew he talked to his mom about that kind of stuff.
Normally, when you find out the guy you like likes you back you feel happy, but considering the guy I liked was now gone because of me it only deepened my guilt. My mind twisted what happened to make me think if I had only told him how I felt, if I had only done something different things may have happened differently and he may still be here. But now, 5 years later, when I really think about it, if I had confessed my feelings for him he probably would have felt even more inclined to save me. Kyle's probably one of the very few people who ever took the phrase 'I would jump in front of a bullet to save you' literally.
You know how people say life is like a box of chocolate? Well, I guess that's true for some people but my life is more like hydrogen gas. It's lighter than oxygen so it can float above the oxygen in the atmosphere; this high time was representative of every moment I spent with Kyle. This sounds nice, being able to float on air, but put the tiniest spark of a flame where the hydrogen and oxygen meet and you get an explosion. That is essentially what Kyle's death felt like; my dad lit a match and made everything blow up in my face.
Mrs. Broflovski kept her promise and let me live with them until I turned 18. They accepted me into their family, even with Kyle's absence. I still visit them, I spend every holiday with them, even the Jewish ones, and I sporadically drop by to say hi and check on Ike, Kyle would have wanted me to make sure his little brother was ok. We're not one of those families (yea they are my family to me) who try to forget the person who died and act normal, we would've torn ourselves apart on the inside if we did that. On my visits we often end up talking about Kyle, exchanging memories and smiling sadly at the joy he brought us during his excruciatingly short life. We don't cry over it anymore, he wouldn't want us to remember him like that, he'd want us to be happy, he never liked seeing anyone cry. He was just too damn nice.
I didn't have to go to school for a while afterwards and I didn't get in trouble, with what happened who would have yelled at me for it? Stan and Wendy came to see me, along with other random kids from our school offering condolences, apparently everybody at school had figured out that we liked each other before either of us even did; at least that's what they said. Everyone who knew Kyle was saddened by his untimely death, even Cartman although he said it was only because he liked making fun of him.
I'm not gonna lie, I cried a lot, everyday for almost a month. When someone so close to you dies they bring part of their soul with them. Do you know how much it hurts to have your soul ripped in half? Whoever first used the word 'heartbroken' is right…right after his death as I lay alone in the bed we once shared and every time I rolled over onto his side and found it empty my heart ached, it was causing me more pain than I had ever caused myself.
I knew he was gone; I wasn't in denial or anything, it just hurt to not have him around anymore. Remember how I told you I was addicted to Kyle? Well, when you're addicted to something it's hard to have it taken away from you so suddenly. What hurt the most probably wasn't the fact that he was gone, it hurt more that I never got to say goodbye. It happened so suddenly the word never crossed my mind. If I had been thinking logically if I had noticed how much blood was left behind as he was put into the ambulance, then I would have said goodbye, but I was instead too focused on hoping and praying he would live.
Do you also remember that assignment I said I couldn't do for photography class? Well, the day he died, Kyle helped me finish it. The assignment was to take a picture of something important to you at a few different angles. Most people took pictures of an object, but my mind had immediately jumped to Kyle. He was lying on his bed reading a book and at first I was only snapping pictures to annoy him with the flash, but as I sat on top of him and attempted to tickle his to death he laughed and smiled uncontrollably allowing me to capture a moment I wanted to remember for the rest of my life. I got an A+ on the project, Miss Miller actually started to cry and hug me when I handed it to her.
I keep the picture in my wallet at all times, whenever things get tough I just have to pull it out and when I remember how happy he made me I push myself through the rough patches and keep going on. You would never guess, but I'm in college now, can you believe it? Kyle was the only one who ever thought I would be able to do something with my life and now, with his help, I'm getting ready to graduate after 4 years of hard work. I'm all ready to start a job the moment I graduate. I'm going to be working as a psychologist at an adolescent mental health clinic, most of the teenagers there are brought there in the same kind of situation I was in. I guess I'm doing it because I can easily relate to how they're feeling, but Kyle once told me I would make a good psychologist so that may be the main reason behind my career choice, but I'm surprisingly good at it.
I owe my life to Kyle, because surely I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all he did for me. And, indirectly, every kid I help was helped because he never gave up on me. All of my other so-called 'friends' gave up on me, but not Kyle, he saw something good in every bad thing I did, and he actually tried. Can you see why I liked him? I wish I could see him just one more time. I would finally get to say goodbye and hopefully be able to tell him the one other thing I really regretted never saying to him: Kyle, I love you.
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I hope you liked it! His thoughts jumped around a bit but hey, doesn't that happen to everybody? Thanks again to everyone who R&R'd I love you all!