Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist.

I know I haven't posted in a long time, sorry. Life can get really hectic, but here I am with chapter 10 (I'm into double digits!). After reading, please tell me what you think. Mood boosters and constructive criticism are always welcome. Enjoy.

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Dust pan in hand, Lisbon hunched over the cold wooden floor. As her knee came in contact with a jagged shard of glass, she shifted her weight and cursed. This was all Jane's fault. If he hadn't felt the need to stop by, none of this would have happened.

She wasn't referring to the broken vase.

Although Lisbon would never admit it, Jane's kiss was breathtaking. She was content in his arms, but the kiss sent her into shock. His ferocity and passion was everything she could have hoped for. In that moment, she was completely swept away. Reality set in when things began to slow down. She realized what they were doing; she was kissing Patrick Jane, liking it even. His gentle caress made her feel safe and loved. It didn't take long for him to take that away.

Lisbon tried to be understanding when Jane explained his conversation with Lorelei and Red John. She let him know she had no expectations, but that was not enough for him. He worked hard to convince her of his honesty; he even threw the word 'Love' around. Lisbon tried to hide it, but these words stung her. She hadn't expected this to happen; she wasn't to blame. If Lisbon hated one thing, it was to be used. She wouldn't just stand there and let Jane torture her. Unlike him, Lisbon had felt something. No matter what she had said, the kiss wasn't just a game to her. His persistence felt like mocking, it was taking the kiss and distorting it. She had reached her limit. Jane could fool himself all he wanted, but she wasn't going to set herself up for heartbreak. She had asked him to leave, and when he didn't, things got violent.

This left Lisbon cleaning up a broken vase at one thirty in the morning. Needless to say, she was not happy.

Lisbon sighed. She wondered what tonight's events were going to do to their professional arrangement. More importantly, what they were going to do to their friendship. If Jane came around and apologized for his behavior, Lisbon was positive she could forgive him. Alternatively, the two of them could pretend it never happened. Lisbon was silently hopping for the second. The problem was that she couldn't see Jane doing either of those things. Jane was more likely going to pester her until it was impossible not to talk about it. The man was stubborn as they came.

Lisbon couldn't worry herself now. It was late and she had all weekend to figure it out. There had to be some way to avoid Jane long enough for this whole thing to blow over.

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Jane sat in his car. Still parked on Lisbon's street, he could not convince himself to leave. If life was fair, any moment now, Lisbon would call to apologize. She would admit to overreacting and plead for him to come back. At that point, he would hang up the phone and rush to her door. When she realized he had never left, she would throw herself in his arms and all would be forgotten. Instead, Jane was left alone to sit in a freezing car. It was a foolish fantasy after all; Lisbon was much too stubborn to admit defeat. She would not be impossible to win over, but the task wouldn't be effortless.

With a heavy sigh, a grey cloud appeared before his eyes. Jane decided it was time to leave. Lisbon wasn't going to call; the universe was not that just.

As Jane turned the key in the ignition, the engine roared to life. He was on the brink of deciding where to go. His motel and the CBI were always prime choices, but both seemed forlorn. As Jane pulled onto the street, he had a stroke of brilliance. It was time to play civilian.

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The bar reeked of desperation and stale crackers.

Jane pushed his way past a group of vastly intoxicated girls to reach to grimy wood of the bar. He noted how young they were, probably just over twenty one. Motioning for the bar tender, he placed his order. There was no use getting anything fancy tonight, he needed immediate results. Jane needed something that would quiet his mind and cloud his worries. He reached for his drink and took it down in one gulp, warmth immediately flowing through his veins. Jane smacked his glass on to the counter then ordered another.

A rush of air flew past him as somebody took the seat to his left. A quick glance to the side confirmed it was a woman, probably one of those girls he had seen earlier. She had dark brown hair and green eyes that were pretty, but in no way matched the beauty of Lisbon's. His jaw clenched, Lisbon wasn't something he wanted to think about right now. He needed a distraction, this drunk stranger would suffice. She saw Jane's curiosity and took it as a means of flirting. After a wide smile was shot in his direction, she waited for his response. Jane was in no mood to play nice, so he looked away. He didn't want to be hit on, even if it was mostly his fault. The woman, however, did not seem put off by this. She tried to pull him into conversation.

"Hey, I'm Jenny." She hiccupped. "I couldn't help wondering what a man like you was doing out so late?"

Jane fought the urge to laugh. This girl might out of her inhibitions, but she sure knew the right thing to say. She was commenting on his age, acknowledging their difference and making a joke about it. She was devaluing the barrier to give herself a better shot. Little did she know that her psychology was not going to work, it gave room for Jane to widen the gap.

"I could ask you the same question." Jane teased. "What is a young lady such as yourself doing at a bar at this hour?"

She laughed, but did not back down.

"I'm twenty two you know, I'm can be here if I want. I'm more interested in what you're doing here. Had a fight with your wife?"

She motioned to his wedding ring. Despite himself, Jane smiled. This girl wasn't too far off base. It was impressive on her part, especially for the amount of alcohol in her system.

"You could say something like that." Jane mumbled.

Jenny saw his somber tone and took the hint. Her posture changed, but she did not leave his side.

"What happened?" Jenny asked.

Jane decided to tell this stranger the truth, part of it anyway. Isn't that what civilians do in bars, pour out their worries to complete strangers.

"I did something without her permission and I couldn't take it back."

"What was it?" Jenny asked.

"A kiss."

Now she was thoroughly confused. Jenny was under the impression that he was talking about his wife. If they were married, a kiss would not have upset her. This allowed Jenny to start jumping to conclusions. Jane could tell that she thought he had cheated on his wife. Once again, she wasn't far off the mark.

"You should go talk to her." Jenny insisted. "If you really loved her, you would try."

This whole situation was becoming bizarre. Lisbon wasn't just somebody he could dump on strangers, she was more than that. He had not gotten the release he had came for, so Jane gave into his urge to flee.

"You know Jenny, I think It's time to leave." He said politely. "Thank you for the company."

Jane hastily placed a few bills on the counter. Before he could leave, Jenny placed a hand on his wrist.

"Think about what I said." Jenny stated. "Talk to your wife."

Jane stood up suddenly. He gave her a nod and headed past the small crowd of people towards the doors. For an intoxicated girl, Jenny had been surprisingly helpful. Jane knew where he needed to be, she had given him an idea.

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Lisbon stared at her phone. Her anger had subsided and was beginning to replace with worry. She knew Jane better than anyone, this being said, she knew he was prone to do something stupid. He could be anywhere right now doing a variety of dangerous things. What kind of person was she to kick him out? For god's sake, he saw Red John earlier today. Red John might decide to go after him. He was unarmed and unprotected. He could be dead by now. She shouldn't have let her personal feeling take place of her professional. The last thing she would have said to him was 'get out'. How could she ever forgive herself if something happened to him?

Lisbon forced herself to calm down. Jane was probably at the CBI or in his motel room. She was freaking out for nothing. Never the less, Lisbon wanted to make sure he was alright. She could call him, but Lisbon didn't want to deal with the emotion right now. The better option would be to send a text. Lisbon seldom used this mode of conversation, texting was so impersonal. This made it perfect for this situation. A response back would mean Jane was alright, plus he wouldn't be able to sense the emotion in her voice. It was a win win.

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Jane stood in front of his family.

The sky was black overhead and the moon cast funny shadows over the stone graves. It was cold out and Jane was contemplating leaving, but he had a task to do.

He did not plan to stay for long, he only had to say a few words.

Taking off his jacket, Jane placed it on the damp ground in front of their graves. Forcing himself down on his knees, Jane was now at their level. He felt emotion flood through him and tried very hard to stop it. This visit wasn't supposed to be a sad one.

"I'm home." He grumbled under his breath. "It's been a while."

And then, he began to weep.

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Once again, I'm sorry for the wait. I had a hard time putting passion into this chapter; I hope it was just a onetime thing. I've written it multiple ways, but I couldn't get exactly what I wanted. Thanks for all of who have stuck with me, your support means a lot.

Up Next: Jane speaks to his family. After all these years he might finally be ready to move forward.