AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would just like to thank everyone for all the lovely support I have gained through the reviews. Whether it be advice on my writing or compliments. You all make me very happy, including the Guest reviewers who are all so very kind. If there is anything you would all like to see within this fiction, let me know and I will take it into account. Also as a heads up, in chapter 1 I mentioned that the rating may be changing at some point and it soon upon us.

Chapter 10 - Tobias

Toxicity

The following morning I wake up facing the wall, but I am aware of Tris's presence. I wait a few moments before turning over to face her. She is facing me but is spark out. Her hand lies beside her face on the pillow as she breathes steadily. She is at peace and it brings a short lived contentment to me, but then my mind is tainted by the thought of her being a Dauntless Leader.

When the paranoia sets in I slowly get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I use the toilet, wash my hands and then sprinkle some cold water onto my face. It's refreshing, but not refreshing enough to rid my mind of the torture. I brush my teeth quickly and go back out to get into bed with Tris. I want to enjoy it whilst I can. When I pull the blanket back over myself I rest with my hand on the pillow next to hers, the other clamped under my cheek.

She had come to me in the night even though what I had said was thoroughly uncalled for. She always carry's the element of surprise with her and right now, even though she is asleep, she looks fierce. I lean over and brush my nose against hers. I wait for her to stir, but she does nothing but recoil lower under the blanket. I smile and this time press my lips to her nose. It's ice-cold.

She wriggles her head into the pillow and gradually begins to smile. Shortly after her eyes open somewhat. She squints at me and her smile grows wider. Does the sight of me really make her that much happier? Her eyes close again and I chuckle, breathing a large puff of air out of my nose. She's evidently tired. I wonder if she has fallen back asleep, but her hand on the pillow moves a fraction towards mine as she rests it on top. She is cold to the touch and it is unnerving. I move my body closer to hers so that I might give her what warmth she needs.

Her eyes flicker open once more, but this time much wider. Her smile makes me smile and I feel a sense of relief considering how cold I had been towards her.

"Hey," I greet her awakening and she strokes my hand with her thumb, brushing her lips against it.

She then climbs out of bed without saying a word and disappears into the bathroom. I hear her pottering around from the bed, but shortly after she comes back out and climbs back into bed. In almost no time at all she closes her eyes once more and appears to be falling back to sleep. I debate leaning in to press my lips to her cheek, but I capture a minty scent. She must have improvised with the toothpaste to brush her teeth without a toothbrush.

"I'm sorry," she sounds and my mind stammers.

"It is I that should be sorry," I say propping myself up onto my elbow. She sighs loudly and turns onto her back. She rubs her eyebrow with her fingertips and allows her eyes to open. She stares at my ceiling as though something pains her up there and that pains me in return. "I was out of order," I plead, "If you want to be a Dauntless Leader, I will not hold a grudge against you. Please forgive me. I was hot tempered."

"If you forgive me, then I'll forgive you," she bargains and I am once again confused. She was truly blaming herself. I lean over her, blocking her view of the ceiling.

"Deal," I grin and she smiles lifting her palm to my cheek. She is still cold. "Why are you so cold?"

"Maybe I am just a cold blooded animal," she jests.

"Wouldn't that make you a reptile?" I ask and she giggles.

"It's the same thing," she defends herself.

"Hardly," I laugh and she closes her eyes embarrassed. When her lids open again, our eyes meet.

"This is a dream," she almost whispers with her eyes scanning my face.

"Then it is a good dream," I say leaning down towards her.

So many times in the past I had sat awkwardly whilst Zeke groped every girl that glanced at him and on occasion, even waited whilst he pressed them up against the wall. Now I was in a position to do so and it feels strange to me, it feels as though it could be swept from underneath my feet at any given moment.

She puts her palm on the back of my neck and encourages me by helping me down to her level. The arm that was propping my weight up slips and I catch myself before I head butt her. I am new to this and I feel slightly shy, but I don't want to be.

Our noses meet, grazing off each other and then finally we kiss. Her hand keeping our mouths locked indefinitely. Just one kiss lasts several moments and when our lips part I can't help but smile. For so long I had desired her touch and now two years later she was more than willing to not only let me touch her, but kiss her.

I suddenly understand Zeke's attraction to this.

"Maybe I can warm you?" I jest.

I fall onto my side and place my hand under her, pulling her up onto her side once more. I can feel her chest against mine. Her laughing tells me more than I desire, but she also places her hand on my cheek and pulls me towards her. I am more than pleased to oblige to such indulgencies.

We share several kisses, each one becoming faster paced and I find myself lying on top of her before I know it. Her hand is slipping under my shirt and running up my back. I feel her fingertips massaging deep into my muscles and then her fingers pause. I break my lips from hers and she frowns.

"Your back…"

"It's scarred, I know," I sigh and she smooth's her hands up my back and rests them on my cheek.

"Is that why you got the back tattoo?" I nod and although her hands are resting on my face I can't meet her eyes.

"I'd rather everyone see a tattoo than the scars that make me weak."

"You shouldn't be ashamed, because of these scars you are strong," her contradiction forces me to look into her eyes and she smiles, "and I know these scars remind you of the past, but they don't have to dictate your future."

"You are my future," I say and her eyes gleam.

Her fingertips resume massaging my muscles. My hands wonder aimlessly over her body, not quite sure where they want to rest. I can barely breathe. I crave the warmth of her skin against mine, but it's getting dangerous. I can't control my emotions and I am becoming excessively stimulated. Reluctantly, I roll off of her and get out of the bed.

"What happened to keeping me warm?" She jests, but I think she knows.

"I've got a perfectly good jumper," I say not looking at her. I need to cool off.

"Are you okay?"

"I just need a moment," I say and she giggles. She knows what has happened.

I feel her touch on my shoulders. She tiptoes and kisses my cheek from behind and then heads towards the door.

"I'll see you later," she grins finally heading out the apartment door. I am glad it amuses her because it does not amuse me. I am left to boil in a pit of my own frustration. I look around aimlessly and finally decide to take a shower and miss breakfast.

Later that afternoon I am more than distracted by Alex's final test. He struggles getting past his first fear. A woman lying at the bottom of the stairs, he sits over her crying. Eventually, he beats his first fear by walking directly out the door. This is done significantly quicker than he had in the simulation testing and we soon find that he has seven more fears.

I notice more than often he beats his fears the way an Amity faction member would. This alerts the other faction members present and I know this is worse than not being able to get past the first fear. He needs to demonstrate that he is Dauntless. Max glances at me from across the room and then back down at the equipment in front of him.

"Honestly! Will you invest in some nail clippers?" Christina scolds from behind and when I turn to look I realize she's talking to Tris.

"I have nail clippers!" Tris responds.

"Then freaking use them!" Christina pushes her to the side and Tris smiles.

"Leave me alone," Tris whines and they both giggle in unison. I roll my eyes and turn to face the screen again, leaving them to bicker and giggle behind.

The fear upon the screen disturbs me entirely. The screen is dark, but there is a crack of light that flickers as a shadow passes by. I hear the distinct sound of footsteps and a familiar aggressive voice. 'Where are you boy?' It scorns and I flinch. I cross my arms over my chest to hide my disturbance. A burst of light breaks through onto the screen and I am faced with the image of an amorphous figure from a low point of view. Alex is curled up on the cupboard floor. I can only see the figures body and not the face, but as he pulls Alex out he disdains 'there you are.'

I cannot watch.

I turn my back.

When Alex wakes up Christina is the first to accompany him at his side, which surprises me. I was almost certain that it would be Tris, but when I turn to see where she is I notice that she is gone. It is late afternoon and that means that she has probably gone to dinner. Tonight is her first night back on City Security. She'll probably be off gallivanting with Uriah for majority of the night.

All this probability and uncertainty knocks me off guard.

I turn for the exit and without looking back I walk out.

That evening I seek out Zeke and catch up with everything he had been doing the past week, which as usual wasn't much. He enjoys the laid back lifestyle and that is why I adhere to him so much. He tells me of the party that is happening that evening and in the following evening and I am more than happy to attend.

I need a drink after the scare of the final simulation test.

I potter around the crowed with a flask in my hand, accompanied by Zeke, Shauna and a few others. We briefly discuss the new transfers. I see some of them around, Alex being one of them. I wonder if this is a celebration for them or the faction members that lost their lives. So, instead I choose to become ignorant to the fact that the initiates are even present.

"Five cheers to the deceased," someone yells from the front of the crowed and I turn to Zeke.

"Five? I thought it was three?"

"No, three died yesterday and two died a few hours ago. There's three City Security positions that have gone up for the taking. Well its two now because Alex has taken one."

I glance ahead of Zeke and find Alex celebrating with the other initiates. He looks happy as rightly he should, but something doesn't add up and I can't work out what it is.

"Doesn't that strike you as odd?" I ask but Zeke shrugs. I can see that the alcohol has taken effect because he slurs slightly.

"Put it this way, there's still two City Security spots, because the initiates won't take them. Which means two of us will be taking a rise in the world."

"Zeke?" I begin and he turns to look at me with a hum. "I think it's about time we transferred up ourselves."

"What… you'd give up your intelligence position for it?" He asks, but I can't take my sight off of Alex. "What happened to the wanting to do something in teaching persona?"

"I'm willing to bet that it will be rewarding," I turn my gaze to Zeke, "In more ways than one."

As I converse with Zeke I hear Eric approach me from behind, mentioning something sarcastic that I can't quite catch. Reluctantly, I sigh and we both turn to face him.

"Stay away from Tris," I threaten my voice hard. I can't build the bridge over the thought of him man handling her. It taunts my mind.

"Oww," he taunts me with fake puppy dog eyes, "but haven't you heard? We're going to be working together now."

"I don't think so."

"Oh I do, because you see…" he takes a couple of steps towards me and closes the gap between us. His face is inches from mine and I see Zeke shift beside me, but I do not flinch. Instead the thought crosses my mind of ripping the piercings from his skin or at least punching him. "She already took the position."

"Because you threatened her," I eye him up. I don't care if I make it obvious that I care about Tris anymore. I would protect her no matter what it took.

"No. No you see… it's because she wanted too," he smirks correcting me. I feel my fists automatically clenching into tight balls beside me. "I just simply gave her that nudge she needed… does that hurt?"

He doesn't wait for my response, instead he turns his back on me and walks away. I relax slightly and glance at Zeke. Beside him is Shauna and she's staring at me blankly. I remember how in initiation week she had kissed my cheek and I had rebuffed her. She stares at me coldly now, as if she knows I am not as Stiff as she thought I was. She knows I had been awkward with her because I had no feelings towards her whatsoever, but deep down Zeke did.

"What an ass," he says, holding out a drink towards me. That's his answer to everything.

I stare at the flask for a few moments before releasing it from his grasp and accepting it into mine. I don't need the drink, but I want it to help me forget the day's events.

And so darkness ensues.

The next day I drag Zeke along to see Max about swapping our positions in our faction. It takes me a short while to climb down from my apartment building and pass the Pire towards Zeke's. He is still half asleep and extremely reluctant, but he joins me nonetheless. He mumbles incoherent things as we approach the office, but I don't quite catch them.

"Four… Zeke… as to what do I owe the pleasure?" Max asks as we enter into his headquarters. Though he addresses us both, his eyes lock firmly onto me.

"We want the remaining City Security positions," I state.

"Oh really? Can Zeke not speak for himself?"

"No I want one too," Zeke confirms trying not to make eye contact.

"Tell me… Four, why after four years do you want give up your Intelligence position?"

Zeke stands next to me idly and then side glances at me as if to say 'feel free to take the floor.'

"Let's just say I have been keeping myself on a low, but now I want something more physical… something more demanding."

"More demanding? Then why do you refuse to be a Leader?"

"I have not come here to discuss such matters. Only to ask permission."

"Fine… then you both have my consent," he dismisses us with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you," I say turning for the door with Zeke close on my tail. He also mutters his thanks in passing and closes the door behind him.

"You don't have many friends do you?" Zeke asks when we make our way to lunch.

"Why do you ask that?"

"The tension in there was horrid," he exclaims and I smile.

"He's a persistent man."

"And you're a stubborn one. You always have been," he confirms picking up a lunch plate. "Why won't you take the position?"

"Could you imagine how boring it would be to keep putting Eric to shame?" I jest and Zeke laughs.

"It's even better now that Tris can do it. You may not like the idea, but I think it'd be funny to watch her consecutively whoop his ass."

He's right and I find myself laughing at his comment. Tris would probably show Eric up numerous times and he'd be even more embarrassed because she is a girl.

As we sit down at our table with our plates Uriah sits opposite me. I stare at him for a few moments before I turn to Zeke next to me. He hasn't noticed, so I nudge him and he looks up from his plate.

"What do you think you're doing?" Zeke asks, fork in hand.

"Can I not eat with my brother?"

"Erm let me see… no you can't," Zeke says and I chuckle.

"Am I that embarrassing to be seen with?"

"Yes you are!" Zeke scowls and I put a portion of breakfast waffle into my mouth. It's strange for my first meal of the day to be so sweet, but it is 1pm.

I avert my eyes away from the two as they continue talking. I glance over at Tris's table, but she's absent. I probably won't see her until tonight. I glance around the room and notice that none of her friends are present. I then realize why Uriah has decided to join us.

"Are you going to the celebration tonight?" He asks.

"If I feel inclined to do so," Zeke shrugs not wanting to admit anything to his little brother.

"And what about you?" Uriah looks at me.

"I guess so," I shrug looking at Zeke.

"Looks like we're all going then," he states getting up, "see you guys later. I've got a few errands to run."

I have nothing else to do that afternoon so I stay with Zeke. We visit the shops within the faction building, spending what is left of our monthly allowances. I have more credits than I thought left so I buy myself a couple of spare shirts and a new pair of boots. I'll probably need them now I'm not sitting in a chair all day.

Afterwards, we collect our set of weapons ready for our new jobs and secure them in our rooms. Shortly after we meet up again for dinner and he tells me that some of the others are meeting at 8PM. I almost forget that Zeke shares a room with the others whereas I live alone.

This time when I glance over to Tris's table, I see her sitting with Christina, Uriah, Will, Alex and Melanie. Melanie is sitting rather closely to Alex and I wonder if the two bonded in the initiation weeks that had passed. That is how I met both Zeke and Shauna, both have been my friends since.

I find myself slightly disturbed by the fact that Alex is accompanying them at their table, but who Tris decides to be friends with is no concern of mine. Just as my friends are no concern of hers. I turn my attention back to our table and realize that Shauna is absent.

Amidst all my thoughts and dulled out conversation from those at my table, I hardly see Tris approaching me from her table. She sits beside me but leans her back against the table and her elbows on the surface of the table behind her. I glance at her and she smiles.

"So," she says and I merely stare at her, "Uriah tells me you're going to the event tonight," she begins and I turn my full attention towards her.

"Celebration you mean?" Zeke says and her eyes avert to him behind me.

"Forgive me if I don't feel up to celebrating the deceased," she smiles sarcastically and I laugh.

"Blimey Four, you sure know how to pick them," Zeke jests.

"You'll get along just fine," I say.

"We already do," she smiles, "Providing you're not as annoying as your brother."

"Hey!" Uriah sounds from behind.

"Oh I'm definitely not as annoying as him," Zeke laughs.

"Anyway," she turns her attention back to me. "I took the position."

"I know," I say looking down at my plate. "This is probably where I tell you I took a City Security position, isn't it?"

"I know," she grins and I frown.

"How did you know?" I ask and she nods at Uriah. "Well how did you know?" I ask and he side glances at Zeke momentarily and I almost don't catch it. I spin in my seat to face Zeke and he has a guilty vibe about him.

"He's my brother he's bound to find out sooner or later," Zeke surrenders.

"Well I did have plans of telling you myself," I say turning back to face Tris.

"It's okay, from what I hear I weren't the first to break the news either. I heard about Eric," she smirks solemnly.

"Bloody hell! Can nothing stay between two people?" I say to Zeke.

"Blame the annoying one," he retaliates.

"You're both annoying!" I say and Zeke laughs.

"Well we are brothers," he says.

Frustrated, I turn back to address Tris.

"Am I seeing you tonight?" I ask with a smile still on my lips.

"Sure," she smiles eyeing up my plate. She takes my burger and starts eating it.

"What are you doing?" I ask grabbing it back.

"I'm hungry."

"There's a perfectly good fresh one over there," I say putting it back down on my plate.

"Well yours is better," she shrugs now eating my chips. "There's something about other people's food that tastes better."

"Hey! Stop," I say struggling to keep her grip from my food.

"Do you remember that day I shared my food with you?" She reminisces and I sigh. I push my plate towards her slightly so that it sits between us.

"Oh for me… really?" She asks sarcastically turning around to sit with me properly. She rests her legs next to mine and begins eating my chips with no shame. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I shrug slightly annoyed she's eating my food.

"You did the Leader training right?"

"Sadly," I say.

"What was it like?" Her voice is muffled by the heaped potato, it makes me smirk.

"Not very taxing," I place a few chips in my own mouth and she stares at me blankly. "You basically just sit around a table and fill out paperwork." I sum up and she looks at the table disappointedly.

"Well that sounds boring," she says biting into my burger.

I am used to her eating my food, but it annoys me that she's eating the main part of my meal. The chips I can let slide, but when she's taking the biggest piece it makes me feel irritated.

"Would you like me to get you another?" I ask sarcastically.

"She's already ate one over there," Uriah says nodding towards their table. "I do believe you ate Will's desert too." I glance and see Will and Christina entertaining Alex and Melanie.

"Then excuse me if I take my dinner back," I smile. "I'm bigger than you I need my food."

"I missed breakfast and lunch," she says with puppy dog eyes.

"Well that's not my problem," I shrug and she frowns in angst.

"Fine then, I'll see you in a couple of hours," she gets up and I twist towards her.

"You're not working tonight?"

"I'm not working this whole weekend," she smiles patting my shoulder and nodding towards Zeke. He waves his hand that contains his burger as if to say goodbye and then takes a huge bite. Tris then disappears with Uriah. He nudges her side and she almost buckles, but then retaliates by tapping him on the head.

"Has she always ate that much?" Zeke asks when she is gone.

"I don't think so," I say.

"It must be the Abnegation starving you all," he nods at my plate, "You tend to eat more than necessary too."

"The Abnegation do not starve us," I chuckle, "They just only eat what is necessary to keep us alive and healthy."

"So starve you with rations then," he concludes and I laugh.

That evening time ticks by slowly as I accompany Zeke down to the Pit to endure irrelevant chatter and mindless drinking. It's not long before Zeke's words become incoherent and I find myself overly amused by it.

"So you see you really can't help yourself," he slurs and I raise an eyebrow.

"Help myself with what?"

"I don't know… what are we talking about again? I seem to have forgot," he says and I laugh harder than I have before.

Shauna appears from the crowed behind and hugs us both before pausing at Zeke's side. She looks at me until she realizes Zeke is staring at her like a dope. She glances at him, but then doubles back to give him her full attention. She leans her head back slightly as if she is repulsed.

"Are you drunk?" She asks, but Zeke just smiles. "Is he drunk?" She asks me and I laugh.

"You're a dirty little girl," he says and I hold back a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Shauna states abruptly.

"What I mean is… you have dirty secrets," Zeke confirms.

"Yes, well please refrain from saying the prior again it sounds vulgar."

"You know what I mean," Zeke says and Shauna sighs.

"Are you taking him to bed?" She asks me and I surrender.

"Oh aye steady on," Zeke chuckles. "We're close but we're not that close."

"He lives in your apartment building," I laugh with Zeke.

"You know what I mean," she smacks Zeke's arm. "Well I'm going to take him back then, are you going to be okay?"

"Am I ever not?" I say rhetorically and she smiles lifting Zeke's arm over her shoulders.

"Well goodnight then, Four."

"Goodnight," I say taking a gulp from my bronze flask. It almost slips from my grip and someone collides with me from behind. It's Tris.

"Wow, wow, steady on," I say stabilizing her. "Are you drunk?" I ask shocked. I have never known Tris to drink before.

"No, no, but I have been on the rin's."

"You've been on the what?" I smile.

"I think she means rum," Uriah corrects from behind her. "We played dares."

"Oh you did, did you?" I say and Tris smiles up at me childishly.

"Yes, the rum," she nods, "I had to climb the Pire building."

"Not in that condition, I hope." I look at Uriah and he shakes his head.

"I feel refreshed," she utters.

"Well believe me you won't in the morning."

"Pansycake," she shrugs me away and leans onto Uriah.

"Don't worry, I'll look after her," he says in a slur.

"All the more reason to worry," I shout after him and he shows me the finger as he walks away.

I converse with a few Dauntless members around the pit and share what few memories I did have of the deceased, but one thing continuously plays on my mind. The more I drink, the more my thoughts run back to Tris and it is giving me a splitting headache. She was evidently tipsy and if she had continued drinking after our talk, I am almost certain she would take a turn for the worst. She is vulnerable.

I glance around the faction members that are left and catch a glimpse of Tris's hair in the far left corner by the exit. Her hair is down and hiding her face. I say my goodbye's and push my way through the crowed. When I get to where I thought I had seen her, she is gone. I look around again and see her stumbling out of the pit and into the darkness.

I pick up a beer from one of the cooling buckets and take a swig before chasing Tris down the hallways, faltering over my own tipsy weight. I haven't had that much to drink. I have had a few sips of Rum from a couple of flasks that were being passed around, but I know that I have drank roughly the same amount as Tris, yet she's a lot more unstable. This is her first time drinking and she's a lot smaller than me.

She's far ahead of me now and the more corners she turns the more I am afraid of losing her. I am shocked that she seems to know where she is going, but also shocked that she is not aware of my presence following her. She disappears and on a whim I take the door that leads me to the front steps of the faction building. The door clicks open and there she is.

She is standing in the middle of the courtyard with her arms spread out beside her like an angel. They remain suspended in mid-air, whilst she tips her head back to face the night's sky. Under the street light I can see a smile upon her mouth and a giggle escaping her lips. She spins on the spot and I can't help but notice the curve of her body. I shouldn't be looking, but I do. I push my weight down the steps and onto the gravel lain floor.

I reach out and her last spin lands onto me. She gasps in shock, but I smile and she suddenly becomes relieved at my friendly face. She recognises me, but she's twisted in my arms. I now realise why she had been spinning. The spitting rain hits my face like feathered flakes of snow. Light and moisturising as they flutter by. If I stare closely I can see them in the light.

"I thought you didn't drink?" I ask and she smiles.

"Big," she says and I frown.

"What?"

"I've just realised that your big aren't you?" She says and I find myself amused at her intoxicated persona. I wonder if that is a question or an insult. How pleasant. She untwists herself and presses her palms to my arms.

"Big muscles, big height, big heart, big lips." She rolls the list off of her tongue as if she could go on and on, but I dearly wish that she wouldn't.

"You make me sound like an ogre," I say and she laughs.

"Then an ogre you are," she glides her hands up my arms and rests them on my shoulders, it is soothing. She is warm and welcoming, even when she is intoxicated. I hold her at the waist with my beer bottle still in one of my hands.

She giggles and escapes my grip, fleeing further away into the rain. Instead of following her I choose to sit on the steps and drink from my bottle. Admiring the view of her enjoying the rain, whereas I recoil from it. The beer is bitter in my mouth and I find the bottle empty much quicker than I had expected. It clanks as I rest the bottle on the concrete steps and stand up, walking towards Tris. I pull her back into my arms and she grins.

"You know... In the choosing ceremony two years ago there was something in the speech about belonging. I never felt that until now. You make me feel like I belong here." I think she's being serious for a moment but then she tips back slightly. I catch her, but she still acts totally oblivious to the fact she can barely stand. I wonder if she's going to travel part being drunk and be sick, but she continues. "Your bigness, or your ogreness as you put it, makes me feel safe. Safe enough to relax and just belong somewhere, to someone... You know I think I could love you one day for that."

She could love me.

One day.

Her drunken words sink into my drunken mind. I stare at her blankly for a moment and she smiles. Her intoxicated personality is bubbling through the surface. She escapes my grip again and shy's behind the lamp post ahead.

"Okay, miss I've had too much to drink, I think we should get you to bed," I say heading towards her.

"Only if it's yours," she smiles from behind the lamp post and I find myself holding back a laugh. My eyebrows raise in the shock of her response, but I pull myself together and hold out my hand.

I wonder if she will remember this in the morning.

"Come," I persist and she slinks towards me slowly.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"If it gets you inside you can have fifty," I jest and she quickens her pace towards me.

"Then pay up, my dear ogre," she whispers against my lips and I am forced to close the remaining distance with my own.

I begin to feel light headed and I wonder whether it is because the fresh air isn't mixing well with the alcohol. Then I realize that Tris must be feeling more light headed than me if that was the case. Regardless of my head being weightless, everything around me feels solid, Tris feels solid pressed against me and I know now that it is her. It is her making me feel weightless. She makes me feel vulnerable and though we are both intoxicated the kiss feel just as important as any other.

Her lips are warm and taste bitter. The alcohol tainting her breath.

I wonder if she has fallen asleep on me because she does not move for a short while. Our lips never moving, never parting and I know that she is taking the moment in. And that is what I do in return.

The moon shines above us, lighting up the courtyard. The specs of rain that fall lightly around us, barely wets the floor, but as I part my eyes slightly I see that they balance on the tips of her hair. They flutter in the light above us.

Her eyes are closed and so I close mine again. As she runs her hands up my chest together and links them around my neck, I let our lips part and they meet again quickly. I am encouraged to let myself grow deeper into the infatuation, but I don't want to do this intoxicated. Our kisses grow dangerously fast paced and as much as I enjoy it, I know she is vulnerable.

Never have I ever felt obligated to open my lips before, but now I do. I want to let our lips part and to feel her tongue against mine, but I did not want it to happen like this. I can feel her pushing towards it so I pull away.

"Come on," I say pulling her towards the door.

"Can I lean on you?" She asks and I smile.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"I'm drunk not crippled!" She shoots and I laugh. There is the real sober Tris. She is still in there even when drunk.

The walk to my rooms forces the alcohol out of her system somewhat. She struggles most ardently at first, but then after a short while her legs begin to move forwards like steel rather than like jelly. The closer we get to the pit the more she seems to no longer need my support, but she leans on me nonetheless.

"Wait… where are we going?" She asks suddenly aware of her surroundings.

"You're going to bed," I state.

"Well, we're going the wrong way," she emphasises on her pluralisation just like I had and I find myself laughing once more.

"I'm pretty certain your room is that way," I nod ahead.

"I thought we were going to your room?" She asks rubbing her eyes.

"Since when?"

"Only if it's yours," she mentions for a second time and it hits home. She looks at me offended.

"Oh you were being serious," I say shocked and she stares at me as if I am an alien life form. "My apartment it is then."

I pivot on the spot and detour down a dark hallway. Tris looks as though she's falling asleep so I keep her going with mindless chatter and make a note to myself to give her water when we get back to my apartment, but when we do get back to the apartment she falls onto the couch and her eyes close.

"Tobias?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I have a shower?"

"What here?"

"No in the gutter, yes here," she jests opening her eyes to look at me from across the room.

"Sure I guess?" I don't know how I feel about her showering in my apartment, but she had asked and I can't really say no.

"Can you get it ready?"

"What do you mean? The door is right there…" I say pointing to the door behind her.

"I feel a little sick… like a towel, you know?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course, hang on."

I go into the kitchen and pull a towel from the laundry that I had done a few days ago and take it into the bathroom. I turn the shower on and take the bar of soap from the sink and place it on the shelf by the shower. I then go out and let Tris go in.

Whilst she is in the shower, I busy myself by reclining the couch and tiding up. I then walk into the kitchen a run the cold tap whilst I toast some bread. The water will help keep her hydrated and the bread will soak up the alcohol. Once the tap is running water that is completely cold I fill a couple of glasses and leave them on the side. I prepare the toast and take everything over to the couch and place it on the table.

"This is slightly embarrassing, but have you got a shirt I could borrow? It wasn't until I started washing myself that I realized I had stepped into the shower with my vest still on."

I turn to face her whilst she is talking and fall short on everything. She is wrapped in the towel from her chest down to her knees. I can see the gap between her breasts where the towel is being held up. Strangely enough, I find myself staring at her bare legs, or at least, at the small amount of them that are on show.

"Tobias?"

I stare at her blankly. I have never seen a girl in this aptitude and Tris in particular looks beautiful. Her hair is tied back in a bun to stop it from getting wet and her skin is dry. She must have patted herself down before wrapping the towel around her.

"Are you listening to me?" She demands and I look up from her legs.

"Sorry what?"

"Were you staring at me?" She asks smiling.

"What? No."

"I'm pretty confident you were," she says.

"Well can I not be distracted by my own girlfriend's body?" I state louder than I had expected to and she remains stunted. "Sorry… I just… I-" I am stunted myself and she bursts into a fit of laughter. "Oh for god's sake can you just go back in there?" I plead.

"A shirt?" She says again and I stare at her drearily. "I came out here to borrow a shirt?"

"Oh right," I blush and get one from my drawer. I pass it to her and she goes back into the bathroom chuckling to herself.

I sigh and run my hand over my head. I feel stupid. When she emerges again she is in her black leggings and my shirt, which again looks good on her, but completely swamps her in material. She sits on the couch next to me. Her legs spread out before her on the recliner.

"Is that for me?" She asks taking the toast from off the plate in my hand.

"Would it matter if it wasn't?"

"Not really, I'm famished," she says and a loud crunch follows. She has got considerably more confident around me since we started opening up to each other.

I lean back on the couch and close my eyes. The sound of Tris biting into the toast fills the air around me and I am too exhausted to open my eyes. I feel her move beside me and the sound of glugging follows. I am almost asleep when I feel her lips on mine. I open my eyes and look at her.

"Goodnight, Tobias," she sooths and I am content.